Vault: She wants to un-invite a friend from her wedding

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: She wants to un-invite a friend from her wedding
Date: June 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this controversial and highly charged episode, The Bert Show team takes a call from a bride-to-be wrestling with whether to remove her pregnant best friend from her wedding—because the friend is pregnant out of wedlock. The conversation dives deep into issues of friendship, morality, judgment, and honesty, sparking strong reactions from the hosts, panelists, and callers alike. The group debates not just the caller's dilemma, but the broader implications for personal values and meaningful relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dilemma: Bride Considers Un-Inviting Pregnant Best Friend

• [01:34 - 02:15]
  The bride-to-be explains that her “second-best” friend, with whom she shares a lifelong bond, is pregnant and unmarried. She feels uncomfortable having her stand as a bridesmaid.

2. Motivation Behind the Decision

• [02:24 - 02:59]
  • It's not about appearances, she says, but about “respect” and her values regarding marriage and pregnancy.
  • Bride-to-be: “I just don't agree with it. … I don't respect her enough right now to do that.” [04:02]
  • The show points out her hypocrisy and the judgment implicit in her values.

3. The Bride’s Approach: Subtle Pressure, Not Directness

• [04:44 - 04:59]
  • She wants to make it uncomfortable enough that her friend will step down herself, by creating over-the-top ‘bridezilla’ demands, rather than have an honest conversation.
  • Bride-to-be: “I want to...figure out a list of demands that she thinks I'm giving to everybody, so she's just like, 'I can't do it.'” [04:59]

4. Panel Reaction: Calling Out Judgment and Inconsistency

• [05:30 - 06:06]
  • Hosts and panelists react strongly against the bride-to-be's stance, labeling it judgmental and self-centered.
  • Show Host: "No, I think it's probably the most judgmental thing I've ever heard in my life." [05:30]
  • Panelist: “You don’t care about her as much as you say you do.” [07:06]

5. The Core Value Divide & Friendship

• [07:35 - 08:12]
  • Panelists urge the bride to be honest, questioning if they can truly be friends with such a core difference in values.
  • Panelist: “You’re gonna judge that child as well as her, the rest of that child’s life... I think that you should be honest with her.” [07:35]

6. Callers’ Perspectives: Overwhelming Disagreement

• [06:32 - 10:00]
  • The vast majority of callers and texts are furious or dismayed by the bride’s attitude:
    • Carly (Caller): “If I had a best friend as shallow as this girl… I would want her to tell me so I could never talk to her again.” [06:32]
    • Grace (Caller): Suggests the real issue is the bride wants pretty wedding pictures. [10:39]
  • Only a minority agree in principle but emphasize the importance of honesty.

7. The Bride’s Morals & Hypocrisy

• [09:26 - 11:00]
  • Hosts probe the bride’s moral consistency, asking if she’s had premarital sex herself. She insists she has not.
  • Remarks about her friend being a “slut” provoke outrage.
    • Bride-to-be: “I don’t think being a slut is beautiful, but I think being pregnant is beautiful.” [10:52]
    • Show Host: “Did you just say 'I don’t think being a slut is beautiful'?” [11:02]

8. Moral Judgment vs. Friendship

• [12:13 - 13:51]
  • Another agreeing caller says the bride has the right to draw the line but should be honest.
  • Panelists and hosts: If the bride is “throwing around the moral word,” she needs to back it up with directness, not manipulation.
  • Show Host: “If your moral code then here... is so different from your best friend's, then how can you still have her as a best friend?” [13:03]

9. Final Consensus: Don’t Lie; Be Honest

• [14:06 - 14:33]
  • Collective advice: Confront your friend directly—if you're taking a moral stand, be open about it. No one supports her plan to manipulate or sidestep the issue.
  • Panelist: “Tell her the truth to her face.” [14:17]
  • Show Host: “If you're going to take that kind of moral stand, then tell her what you're all about.” [14:24]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I respect you. I love you. I want you to stand up there with me and support me and my good decision. I don't respect her enough right now to do that."
  – Bride-to-be [04:02]
• "No, I think it's probably the most judgmental thing I've ever heard in my life."
  – Show Host [05:30]
• "If I had a best friend as shallow as this girl is, I would want her to tell me so I could never, ever talk to her again. Your best friend is supposed to be there to say, you know what, honey, I may not agree with your decision, but I'm here to support you."
  – Carly (Caller) [06:32]
• "I don't think being a slut is beautiful, but I think being pregnant is beautiful."
  – Bride-to-be [10:52]
• "Tell her the truth. You're judging her and you're talking so disrespectfully to her behind her back. Tell her the truth to her face."
  – Panelist [14:17]

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Important Timestamps

• [01:34] – Bride introduces her dilemma.
• [02:24] – Motivation for excluding her friend revealed.
• [04:59] – Bride describes her plan to nudge her friend out with demands.
• [05:30] – Host labels the plan as "the most judgmental thing".
• [06:32, 07:06, 10:39, 12:13] – Notable, emotionally charged caller responses.
• [10:52] – Bride calls her friend a "slut", sparking outrage.
• [14:17] – Panel’s final advice: Be honest, don’t manipulate.

---

Episode Takeaways

• This episode is a raw look at how personal values can clash dramatically within close friendships, especially under the public spotlight of weddings.
• Most listeners and hosts find the bride’s position unkind and hypocritical, stressing that honesty—however painful—is preferable to manipulation or dishonesty.
• The conversation is heated, revealing deep divides in societal attitudes about morality, judgment, and women’s choices, with listeners passionately weighing in.

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Transcript

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[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Get it The Bird Show. Good morning, Gloria.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Good morning.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Now you have to boot your best friend out of your wedding.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

I wouldn't say boot. I would say politely. Find a way to get her to want to leave the wedding.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

All right, let's establish first of all how good a friend we're talking about. Like, is this bestie friends? Like, something goes wrong, this is the first person you pick up your phone and you call.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

We're really close. I would say she's like my second best friend. I mean, my sister's my maid of honor and she's second in line.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Okay. So I mean, practically a sister.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

Yeah.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

And I'm sure as you guys were growing up, you thought of this day together. I can't wait to see you, Mary.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

I can't wait to see you there.

[Panelist 1]

We live next door, each other, and our backyards are going to touch, and our kids will play together. It'll be awesome.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Right? So that was.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

Yeah, there was some.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Definitely some of that.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

All right, so that was the fantasy up to this point. So why now, in the 11th hour, do you have to sort of nudge her out of the wedding?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Well, after we've been friends for. I mean, literally since we were kids, she has gotten pregnant. And it's not because she's fat, even though that would be kind of annoying. It's because she's not married, and I don't really respect the fact that she is going to be almost eight months pregnant at the time of my wedding. I'm getting married in April.

[Panelist 1]

Oh, but if she was married, you'd feel differently about it?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

If she was married, I wouldn't feel differently about it, Absolutely.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

So it's not. It's not the vanity of the pictures that you're talking about. It's the statement that she's made that

[Panelist 2]

said, that would be annoying.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

It's just. I just don't agree with it. And I'm surprised that she hasn't, knowing how I feel about this, because it's not like we haven't. I mean, we've never talked about it with her, but definitely, like, we've talked about it with other people. She kind of knows how I feel about that kind of situation, and so I'm just a little surprised, actually, that she hasn't kind of said, you know what? I think it'd be best if I wasn't in your wedding.

[Panelist 2]

So she's still your best friend even though she knows you don't approve of her pregnancy?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Correct.

[Panelist 2]

How is that even possible?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Well, I can still have the person not loving the behavior, and so I love her, but I just don't agree with her thinking that getting knocked up, you know, it's like, sorry, this isn't a movie with Katherine Heigl. You can't just get knocked up and everyone's gonna love you. Like, it's.

[Panelist 1]

Well, is it like having a best

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

friend isn't your best friend? Isn't that supposed to be unconditional love? I mean, I'm sure this isn't the ideal situation for her either. So why the judgments? I mean, like, you're ready to boot her out of your wedding and out of your life just because she's made some decisions that you don't agree with.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Listen, I want her in. I want her to be at the wedding. I don't want her out of my life. I just don't want her representing who I think my maids of honor, you know, my bridesmaids, these people that I respect. You know, it's the whole point of asking someone to be in your wedding is because you're basically giving them a gift, like, hey, I respect you. I love you. I want you to stand up there with me and support me and my good decision. I don't respect her enough right now to do that.

[Panelist 2]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

Well, if you've been so honest and blunt with her about how you feel about it, why not just kick her

[Panelist 2]

out of the wedding?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Because she already knows how you feel about it. Because it's never that easy. And if it was that easy, I wouldn't be calling you guys trying to figure out a list of demands.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

So is the question for us, how

[Spinquest Announcer]

do we make her drop out?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Yeah, I want to figure out a way to, like, I don't know, because you guys always do stuff about, like, you know, the crazy, bright pillows that, like, put on a list of demands that are so over the top.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Yeah.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

You know, I want to, like, figure out a list of demands that she thinks I'm giving to everybody. So she's just like, I can't do it. I can't do it. I just don't want to be in the wedding. If it's going to be that way, then I can say, okay, no problem.

[Panelist 1]

We do talk about bridezillas, and we. And I want to ask the panel of judges in the room right now, does this qualify in. It's her day. She gets to be selfish. She gets to be the bride. She gets what she wants.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Well, she doesn't get to be selfish. She is selfish.

[Panelist 1]

But we've talked about brides. It's one of their few days where they get to be completely selfish.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

No, I think it's probably the most judgmental thing I've ever heard in my life.

[Spinquest Announcer]

But still, if we're being consistent in Melissa's.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

First of all, the consistency. That's Melissa's brand. That's not my brand. I say every situation is different.

[Panelist 2]

I'm still shocked that this woman's still your friend after you've been so harsh about what's. I mean, what do you think that the better solution was gonna be for her when she got pregnant?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Well, I mean, I'm just. I was pretty shocked when she got pregnant, but I would have thought that she would have either taken care of it right away, or that she would have tried to make a serious effort with this guy and got married, Gotten married, or at least made an effort, like, you know, take responsibility for the fact that she's not going to be bringing a child onto this planet and that that baby deserves two parents. So I'm not too surprised that your listeners are having issues with it.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Did you think that we'd be overwhelmed with support calls for you?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

I just want to find a way to make her feel more comfortable about leaving my wedding.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Here's Carly. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

Good morning. I'm so mad, I'm shaking right now. I got pregnant out of wedlock, and if I had a best friend that is as shallow as this girl is, I would want her to tell me the truth so I could never, ever talk to her again. Your best friend is supposed to be there to say, you know what, honey, I may not agree with your decision, but I'm here to support you. I'm here to help you with any way I can with your child. You know, if she can't be in your wedding because of it, you need to be honest with her so she knows what kind of person you really are.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

That's pretty representative of all the calls.

[Panelist 2]

I mean, I just think it means you don't care about her as much as you say you do, or she's not really a best friend if you can all of a sudden dismiss her. I mean, certainly, I'm sure she made a mistake. I'm sure it's not the way that she had planned for her life to go or what she wanted, but that's what's happened. And the fact that you're just gonna reject her because of that mistake and not support her in having a baby and not want her in your wedding, one of the most important days in your life. I just think you should let her go and find. Let her find a better best friend.

[Panelist 1]

I mean, obviously, this is a core value, because you, you know, you were starting to make judgments on us, because we're not gonna help you lie to her, which I think is contradictory and ironic, but I think that you should cut her loose. Because the thing that concerns me is this is obviously something that really touches you deep down, and you don't agree with her, and you're gonna judge that child as well as her, the rest of that child's life, and you're not gonna be a good influence on that child. And so I think that you should be honest with her. You also Say, you know what, we've been best friends, but you know what, it's time to go different paths and then let her be free to have supportive friends and you be free to have friends that are more like you.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

It took us a while, but we actually found a virtual listener that agrees with you. Anna, go ahead.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

Hey. I actually agree in principle what she's trying to say, that she feels very strongly that she can't put her in her wedding if she doesn't agree with her being pregnant before getting married. But I have a problem with her

[Bride-to-be Caller]

not telling her the truth.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

I think as a friend you should be telling her. I don't think this is a reason to ditch her. It's just telling her, I can't let you be in my wedding because that's making a public statement that I agree

[Bride-to-be Caller]

with what you're doing and I don't.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

But at the same time, you're still my friend. I will support you through this.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

But she has to be honest with her.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Do you even like your best friend anymore? I mean, this is like Melissa said, this goes so against your core values.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

I absolutely love her and I'm sad that she's in a situation and I'm sad that she's going to be like having to deal with this issue. But I'm also sad that she would think that knowing me, she's also my best friend and she knows how I feel about this kind of thing. And for her to not say anything and for her to not step up to the plate and be like, hey, I know that you're not comfortable with this kind of problem where, you know, you're not married and you're, you're pregnant, you're going to be living on government assistance. I have issues with that.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

You may be the most self centered person we have ever had on the show.

[Panelist 2]

I disagree completely. Hey, let me ask you, have you ever had premarital sex?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

No.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

You have not?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

What? No. So you're a virgin?

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

I think that's what it means.

[Panelist 2]

So you're going to be a virgin on your wedding day?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

I mean, we've messed around, but as far as that goes, yes.

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[Bride-to-be Caller]

Yeah.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

You were ready to tee off.

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[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Well, I damn, damn.

[Panelist 2]

Well, is there a little hesitation there or was that just me?

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Might have been embarrassing.

[Panelist 2]

I think there's a little hesitation there.

[Panelist 1]

If you love.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

I'm not Bill Clinton, like virgin. I'm. Well, like I've messed around. I mean I've had, but I haven't had

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

welcome back.

[Panelist 1]

Yeah, I think the whole.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Any more questions there?

[Panelist 2]

Jennifer's gonna be like, how hypocritical it was if she was, you know, standing on this big moral high horse. But at kinda what she says, just the morals.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

I don't like the idea that she's willing to bring a child into the world that she can't support. Like, sorry, I pay taxes to have nice roads, not better.

[Panelist 2]

Let her go. Just let her go. She doesn't need you in her life anyway. Let her go as your friend. Just tell her.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Hey, Grace. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Hi.

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

I just think this Jake is worried

[Caller 2 (Tonya)]

about her wedding pictures. She doesn't want her friend looking all,

[Caller 1 (Carly)]

you know, explain swollen and big and

[Caller 2 (Tonya)]

ugly on the wedding pictures. And she's so not her friend. So let her go. Let her go.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

No, you're crazy. I think being beautiful. I think being pregnant is beautiful. I think being pregnant. I don't think being a slut is beautiful, but I think being pregnant is beautiful.

[Panelist 1]

Yeah, I just.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Did you just say I don't think being a slut is beautiful?

[Panelist 1]

She did.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

So the fact that she had sex and she got pregnant makes her. Makes your best friend a slut?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Well, she's not married. She's not even with the guy. I mean, I could, like, even fit past her.

[Panelist 1]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

I want to hear the words come out of your mouth, Friend is a slut.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Save that.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

My best friend has made funny decisions.

[Panelist 2]

Wow. No. Now you're name calling about your best friend.

[Panelist 1]

There's a lot. She's not your best friend. There's a lot of people that feel the same way she does. But that's why I think that you need to surround yourself with people that think like you and I. You know, if Katie and I have a child, there's gonna be people judging us for it. But guess what? Those people are not gonna be in my life or my child's life. I would protect that child. And I think that you should be honest with your best friend and give her the choice to. To protect your child against you.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Hey, Tanya. Good morning.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Two people taking care of your child.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Cause Tanya actually is gonna agree with you. Hey, Tonya, go ahead.

[Caller 2 (Tonya)]

I agree with her. I think she should be honest, though. But I agree with her in principle. I just think that a lot of days now everybody's so nonchalant and so free, but some people are still left that have morals. And it is her wedding and I wouldn't want someone standing up at my wedding, pregnant and stuff like that. Because it's her day, so. But she should be honest with her.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

You're throwing this moral morals word around left and right here. Whose morals are we talking about?

[Caller 2 (Tonya)]

Well, it just should be some kind of standard about yourself, so. I mean, this thing of going out and having. Being intimate with someone like the first time or whatever, you don't even know or just. You keep saying it's a mistake, but if you have unprotected sex, then that's what happens. You get pregnant.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

You're making a lot of judgments here though. I mean, what you're saying here is this is a person she had sex with that she didn't know and it was unplanned. And you're using the word mistake because maybe it was planned, maybe it was somebody she was dating for a while.

[Caller 2 (Tonya)]

You guys were saying mistake.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

I have never. I haven't used the word mistake here. So let's see.

[Caller 2 (Tonya)]

Well, if you have unprotected sex, I mean willingly, then you get pregnant. It's not like you don't know what can happen. She has a right to not want her in the wedding. I just think she ought to be honest with her.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

So if your moral code then here Gloria is so different from your best friend's, then how can you still have her as a best friend?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

You know what? I am surprised she's my best friend right now because I feel like my friends that I trust and respect wouldn't sleep with some guy, some random night drunk, get pregnant and then be like, oops, I'm gonna keep it. It's like, what?

[Panelist 2]

Wow.

[Panelist 1]

We obviously not gonna change how you feel. But I do think, you know, like tease me. But I do believe in consistency. If you wanna stand on some moral ground, then you've got to speak honestly. Like what? I still think it's ironic that you're calling us to help you lie to make her get out of your wedd. And then you want to call yourself an upstanding citizen. Be honest with your friend and tell her exactly why give her the chance to make a choice to ditch you?

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Like, it's not like I'm some crazy born again Christian. I just believe that if you're going to make choices, you should be responsible for them.

[Panelist 2]

So she is being responsible.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

I believe in socialized healthcare. I just don't feel like I should be responsible and I should have to be judged based off of her bad decisions.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

Well, isn't part of your moral code also then than standing up for what you believe in, right? So stand up to your best friend and tell her what you believe in rather than try to lie to her.

[Bride-to-be Caller]

Okay. That's great advice. I will. I think that's that's why I called.

[Panelist 1]

Don't lie to her. Tell her the truth. You're judging her and you're talking so disrespectfully to her behind her back. Tell her the truth to her face.

[Show Host (likely Melissa or similar)]

You actually got people that are calling in that are agreeing with you, but nobody's agreeing that you should lie to her, right? So if you're going to take that kind of moral stand, then tell her what you're all about.

[Bretzky]

The Bird show what's up everybody? It's Bretzky and America is turning 250 and I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games live craps, Bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play or free and win real cash prizes.

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