Vault: She's Been His Girlfriend for Years, And His Parents Have Never Heard Of Her

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode Summary
"Vault: She's Been His Girlfriend for Years, And His Parents Have Never Heard Of Her"
Original Air Date: March 31, 2026

---

Main Theme
This episode centers on a relationship dilemma: Meg, who has been with her boyfriend Brian for a year and a half, discovers his parents have no idea she exists. The conversation unpacks relationship transparency, the potential influence of race, and the emotional fallout from discovering you might be kept a secret from a partner’s family.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meg’s Story: The Secret Girlfriend (01:13–04:03)

• Meg shares she’s been with Brian for a year and a half; they’re “really close,” “basically live together,” and are considering moving in together (01:15–01:22).
• Meg wins $2,000 on a scratch-off ticket and plans to use it as a gift to fly Brian’s family from Colorado to Atlanta as a birthday surprise for him. She contacts his mother for this surprise (01:40–01:59).
• Brian’s mother responds with uncertainty, stating, “she didn’t know who [Meg] was” and had “never heard of [her] name” (02:20).

“She was in an awkward situation and she didn’t know who I was, she never heard of my name.”
— Meg, 02:20

• Meg admits she has never communicated with Brian’s parents prior to this call (02:38), and that Brian and his mom are “really close,” though he’s not visited because "they’re all broke" (02:45–02:52).

---

2. The Shock and Conundrum (04:03–05:32)

• The hosts and guests are shocked at Brian hiding Meg for so long (“That’d be kind of a deal breaker.” - Krista, 03:01).
• They highlight the awkwardness and question Meg’s next move: confront Brian or his mom? The consensus is that the surprise is ruined and the bigger issue is why Meg’s existence is a secret (04:03–04:22).
• Hosts urge Meg to go straight to Brian: “...after a year and a half, then we need to reevaluate our relationship.” (Guest Jen, 05:46)

“Your parents don’t know who I am... I’m just – like, I don’t even know how to process. So strange.”
— Jen, 04:29

---

3. Exploring Possible Reasons: Is Race a Factor? (04:39–06:09)

• Jen asks about possible racial or religious differences; Meg confirms she is half Black, Brian is white, and she thinks race may be an issue (04:39–04:58).
• The group discusses whether Brian’s parents would pressure them about marriage, or if it truly is a racial issue.
• Robert, a caller, suggests testing Brian’s transparency by offering to use the money for both of them to visit his parents (05:55–06:09).

“If he’s hesitant or resentful to it, then maybe he’s trying to hide her from his parents.”
— Robert, 06:09

---

4. Listeners Weigh In: Commitment and Red Flags (07:06–08:26)

• Krista (caller) argues that after 1.5 years, never being mentioned is a major red flag. She feels the act of contacting his mom reveals the truth about Brian’s intentions and that “he has not been man enough to tell your parents about you” (07:32–07:50).
• Jen and others counter, saying Meg only discovered the “secret” through her well-intentioned surprise plan; the main issue is Brian’s lack of transparency.

---

5. Signs of Deception and Avoidance (08:51–10:12)

• Meg reveals Brian would lie after talking to his mom, falsely claiming she had sent her greetings (08:51).
• The hosts see this as a sign he is “covering something” (09:04).
• Keisha (caller) directly addresses the race issue, recounting personal experiences to argue Brian likely fears his parents’ reaction to Meg being half Black (09:12–09:42).

“I have a couple of friends where they thought their parents would be cool with Black friends, but the minute they brought home a girlfriend that was half Black or Black, things just went berserk.”
— Keisha, 09:12

• Jen shares her own story of her mother discouraging an interracial relationship, using the phrase “change our bloodline forever” to illustrate generational prejudice (09:42–10:12).

---

6. What Should Meg Do Now? (10:23–13:15)

• The hosts debate whether Meg should “assume” the reason is race; consensus is, she must have an honest conversation with Brian (10:23–10:58).
• Guest Jen: “Tell him the story... and say, ‘I want to know: why have you lied to me? Why have you lied to your parents about me?’” (10:52–10:59).
• Meg wonders if honesty about racial fears would make it forgivable; she is clear she wishes Brian had confided in her sooner (11:17–11:35).

“I just think he should have told me a long time ago.”
— Meg, 11:35

• The discussion compares this situation to closeted relationships—how a partner’s secrecy impacts self-respect and choice (12:28–12:50).
• The group concludes Meg should ask directly and choose her path with her eyes open.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “So in hindsight, yes, it worked out for her because I think she found out what kind of person she’s been with for the past year and a half.” — Krista, 08:14
• “Like, it’s the same with me dating somebody who’s in the closet. I need to know that you are not acknowledging me to your parents.” — Guest Jen, 12:28
• “Hey, Megan, will you call us back after you decide what you’re going to do, if you’re going to confront him or not?” — Jen, 13:04

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• Meg’s initial story and dilemma: 01:15–02:59
• Discovery that Brian’s mother doesn’t know Meg: 02:20–03:01
• Discussion about race as a possible issue: 04:39–04:58, 09:12–10:12
• Listeners’ reactions and red flag analysis: 07:06–08:26
• Advice for action and next steps: 10:52–11:35, 12:28–13:05

---

Summary & Takeaway
The episode explores broader issues of honesty and acceptance in relationships, especially regarding family and race. The hosts and listeners encourage Meg to value her self-respect and seek direct answers from Brian, rejecting secrecy in long-term love. Ultimately, the message is clear: honest conversations are crucial in navigating family barriers and building a truly open relationship.

Transcript

[Host]

Every day, the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome. Cool Stuff Daily takes a look at everything from mining in space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for Cool Stuff Daily as we take a quick look at science, tech and the.

[Co-host]

Wait, what?

[Host]

Stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to Cool Stuff Daily now because the future's happening fast and it's way too fun to miss.

[Alex Kanchowitz]

Hi, this is Alex Kanchowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues, and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Host]

The Bird show.

[Jen]

Meg wants to be part of the Birch Show.

[Meg]

Okay, so I've been with my boyfriend Brian for about a year and a half. We're really close.

[Krista]

You.

[Meg]

He's always over my house. We basically live together. We're actually talking about moving in together. But the thing is, I've never met his parents. They live in Colorado, and he hasn't seen his parents in two years. I want to scratch off. A couple of weeks ago, I won $2,000.

[Co-host]

Nice.

[Meg]

His birthday's coming up. So what I did was I called his mom. I got his mom's number and I called her like, hey, I'm Brian's girlfriend, and I thought it would be nice to fly you, your husband and Brian's brother down to Atlanta and put them up for a hotel.

[Co-host]

That's an awesome gift.

[Meg]

Yeah, yeah. And she was like, okay, that's really nice. Let me talk to my husband about it and I'll give you a call back. So yesterday she left me a voicemail saying she was in an awkward situation and she didn't know who I was, she never heard of my name.

[Guest Jen]

Oh, no.

[Meg]

And she's like, I'm not even sure that you're in this relationship like you say you are.

[Jen]

So how long y' all been going out for?

[Meg]

A year and a half.

[Jen]

Okay, I must have had a little ADD moment there. I must have missed something in the beginning. You have never had any communication with her before. You have had communication with her.

[Co-host]

I have not.

[Guest Jen]

Has not. And the boyfriend has not told mama about the girlfriend of a year and

[Jen]

a half for a year and a half.

[Meg]

Has boyfriend talked to mama in a

[Krista]

year and a half?

[Meg]

Yeah, they're really close all the time.

[Co-host]

They just don't visit because they're all broke.

[Meg]

Right. Oh, wow. So he says, you know, I don't know, I don't know.

[Jen]

Whoa.

[Krista]

That'd be kind of a deal breaker.

[Co-host]

So now here's.

[Meg]

Should I like call. Should I call the mom back and be like, so does he have another girlfriend in Colorado? Does he?

[Co-host]

Or she wouldn't have a girlfriend in Colorado if he's been living here for 18 months and never goes back there.

[Jen]

Hey, Meg, hold on one sec for me. Okay, y', all, seriously, I think I had an add moment in the first 60 seconds of that conversation. What did I miss?

Okay. They've been going out together for a year and a half. He basically lives at her house. She's never met his parents, cuz they live in Colorado. He lives here. He doesn't go back to visit cause he's broke.

[Krista]

Right, Right.

[Jen]

Okay.

She wins a scratch off ticket for $2,000. And as a nice thing for him, she. She calls the parents behind his back and says, I wanna fly you out, put you up in Atlanta for a weekend, take care of your airfare and hotel. Cause I'd love to meet you and I know that he'd love to see you. The mom is like, let me check with my husband and get back to you. And it's kind of awkward. Calls her back the date next day later and says, I didn't know who you were. Sorry for the awkward pause. But I don't. I have never heard of you before.

[Co-host]

Okay, so now the question is, how does she proceed? Cause she can't confront her boyfriend. Cause it screws up the surprise. And then you call back mom, what do you say? Like, because there's obviously a reason he hasn't told mom about her.

[Jen]

So isn't surprise out the window at this point?

I guess I would think that. Surprised out the window.

[Co-host]

Why do you think?

[Jen]

Well, there's a bigger problem.

Go to him and say, dude, I was trying to surprise you and do this nice thing for you and you

[Guest Jen]

haven't even acknowledged me to your parents in a year and a half.

[Jen]

Your parents don't know who I am.

And you said he's really close with his. I am just Like, I don't even know how to process. So strange.

[Guest Jen]

She's confused, too.

[Meg]

I'm trying to process it too.

[Jen]

Like, is there a compelling reason why he wouldn't tell his parents about you? Are you a mixed race couple? Are you different religions? I am half black and he's white.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Do you.

Would that be an issue?

[Guest Jen]

Do you think that that would be an issue?

[Meg]

I think so.

[Guest Jen]

And we're not saying it is. I mean, but I see where Jen's coming from. Is there, you know, what is the reason he hasn't acknowledged you? Do you think that his parents maybe give him pressure and maybe if he acknowledged he had a girlfriend, then there'd be more pressure from them that you need to go ahead and get married?

[Meg]

I don't know. I mean, they know that he doesn't have any money.

[Guest Jen]

Well, my thing is I would need to know where I stand with him, you know? Is the reason you haven't told your parents about me is because you don't acknowledge me as a serious girlfriend? Or is it for. Is it because of my race? Is it because of, you know, you. I would need to know that.

[Jen]

So your advice then is forget about the surprise, go right to the boyfriend and go, look, this is what's been happening behind the scenes. Because everything you've done is honest up to this point.

[Guest Jen]

Yes.

[Jen]

And good hearted. So you're saying go right to the boyfriend at this point, go, look, this is what I was trying to do. And now we've got problems.

[Guest Jen]

Right or wrong. I would. My $2,000, I'm not spending on you right now because you can't even acknowledge me to your parents after a year and a half, then we need to reevaluate our relationship.

[Jen]

He Robert, good morning.

[Robert]

You're on Q101 way that I would think that she could determine where she stands in the relationship. Go to the boyfriend and say, hey, look, why don't we use this money to go meet your parents and see how he reacts?

[Jen]

That's a good point.

[Robert]

If he kind of is like real kind of hesitant or resentful to it, then maybe he's trying to hide her from his.

[Guest Jen]

But if he says, okay, yeah, let's go. I mean, she's already talked to the parents. How does she. I mean, because you don't want to put his parents in a situation where you're like, okay, keep this lie from your son that we ever talked about.

[Jen]

I don't know, y'. All. I think all the games are out the window at this point. Like what does she have to lose by just going straight to him?

[Meg]

And he's gonna manipulate the situation if I approach him like that?

[Guest Jen]

Yeah, I just, I. She needs to talk to him because I figured that out.

[Co-host]

Because there's also the. The mom calling him factor into the whole thing. Like, take care of it today.

[Jen]

Now, when did this call take place to mom?

[Meg]

I called her a couple of days ago. She called me back yesterday.

[Guest Jen]

Okay.

[Jen]

I am surprised that she hasn't been on the phone with your boyfriend. Well, I guess she couldn't because it was because you were trying to plan a surprise. Okay. Good morning, Krista. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Meg]

Hey.

[Krista]

I'm not trying to be cynical here, but the first mistake was in doling out a $2,000 gift to someone that you have no commitment from. And if he has not introduced you to his parents or has I even mentioned you, that in itself is a clue, regardless of your race. He's ashamed of something. So I really think you cross the line in calling the mother and presenting them with their gifts.

[Guest Jen]

I don't think so.

[Krista]

Now wait a minute. Because he has his reasons and that should tell you everything you need to know. You don't need to talk to the mother at this point because, well, she didn't know. He has not been man enough to tell your parents about you. It's not about the parents. You need to look at his actions.

[Jen]

But, Krista, you see the timing of this whole thing though, right? Krista, like, she didn't know that she was a secret until she was trying to plan this surprise for her two days ago.

Right?

[Meg]

She didn't know.

[Krista]

But she did know she was a secret because she has never had a conversation with his parents in a year and a half. That says a lot. I'm sorry. It's not about meeting her physically. The mother has no knowledge of her whatsoever. And I think she's down at everything she needs to know. I mean, she went behind his back and did all this. Now the truth is going to come out. So in hindsight, yes, it worked out for her because I think she found out what kind of person she's been with for the past year and a half.

[Guest Jen]

I think that she's putting some blame on you. And I think going behind his back, I think is harsh language for.

[Co-host]

It's not going behind your back. It's buying him a gift that you didn't want him to know about. That's not going behind his back.

[Guest Jen]

But I do. Yeah. Now what? How? I. But just to follow through with what she was saying. I think her blame on you or her, your responsibility is the fact that in a year and a half you've never had a conversation with the parents. Has that ever crossed your mind as odd?

[Meg]

Well, he, like, when he gets off the phone with his mom, he'll. He would lie and be like, yeah, my mom said hi to tell you I said hi, or whatever.

[Jen]

Like, oh, wow. Yeah, that's a big problem.

[Guest Jen]

Yeah, he's. He's covering something.

[Jen]

I think he's embarrassed to talk to them about race.

Keisha thinks so too, I think. Hey, Keisha.

[Keisha]

Yes, I'm totally with Jen. I think we're beating around the bush and missing the elephant in the room. It's because she's half black. And I have a couple of friends where they thought their parents would be cool and their parents were cool with black friends, but the minute they brought home a girlfriend that was half black or black, things just went berserk. His parents even said, what's wrong with you? So this is a situation. I'm sure he loves her, cares about her, but he's afraid of how his parents will react. I don't think he's not committed. And he was at her house every day. He loves this girl. He's afraid mom and dad will be like, who's this?

[Jen]

Yeah. I've relayed this message too many times, this story too many times on the show before. But that's the exact same thing that happened with my mom, Myra, is that she raised me to be very open minded and we're all 1, 1, 1, 1. And then I brought Chandra home, who's black, and my mom cornered me and said, I just want you to be aware of what you're doing. You're about to change our bloodline forever. And she was. She didn't want me to date a black girl. So it was cool so long as it wasn't in our apartment.

[Guest Jen]

Change our bloodline forever.

[Jen]

Can you believe the word?

[Guest Jen]

I mean, no, I think a lot of people.

[Co-host]

I want you to say, you say it like Myra. Melissa.

[Guest Jen]

I can't.

[Jen]

I can't even do Myra anymore.

[Co-host]

But, yeah, can she write a haiku about that?

[Jen]

Look, Meg, I don't think that you can assume that that's the reason. I think you gotta go right to him at this point.

I think you can.

I mean, you can't like, break up with a guy over assuming.

No, I mean, she's kind of talked to him about it, but I think she can assume going into the conversation, it's exactly why his parents don't know about her.

[Meg]

That's crazy.

[Guest Jen]

Well, I think that.

[Jen]

I know it sounds crazy, but I still think that.

[Co-host]

So what's the question? Is the question, did she sit down with him and go, do your parents know about me?

[Guest Jen]

My thing is, I would tell them the story. Why not tell them what happened? This is exactly what happened. And I'm shocked.

[Jen]

And.

[Guest Jen]

And I want to know, why have you lied to me? Why have you lied to your parents about me? And then just have him answer the question.

[Jen]

Is there anything he can say that would make it all right?

[Co-host]

If he's honest about the race issue, would that make it all right? Like he says?

[Meg]

Yeah, if he says my parents tail.

[Co-host]

And you know, what if he says, I don't know how open my parents would be to me being in a relationship with you? Like, what if he's honest about that and says. And so I have been hesitant to tell him about this so maybe we can tackle it together.

[Meg]

I just think he should have told me a long time ago.

[Guest Jen]

No, I. Yeah, I think that this is all on him.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Guest Jen]

I would be so hurt and mad.

[Co-host]

I'm not blaming him as much as you guys are. Oh, yeah, yeah. But here's the. Like, I feel absolutely.

[Jen]

I don't know, I mean, honest with

[Guest Jen]

her about it then.

[Co-host]

But.

[Jen]

But we're assuming that we don't even know. You got to have the conversation with. First thing if it's the race morning is you got to have a. You have. Have a tough conversation with the person that's close to you. Yeah.

[Co-host]

If it's one of those things, like if it's the race issue that is bothering him because he thinks his parents are going to be affected by it, at what point is the appropriate time to bring that up? And when you realize that it's probably the appropriate time. The appropriate time was three months ago. So what ends up happening is now you're like, oh my God, I should have told her three months ago and blah, blah, blah. Now she's asking how my mom's doing and all this other stuff.

[Guest Jen]

It's not fair to her. It's not fair to her. Like, it's the same with me dating somebody who's in the closet. I need to know that you are not acknowledging me to your parents. I need to know that I'm in that situation and I can make a choice whether I want to stay in this situation or not. So if you have any black jeans in your body and somebody is telling you whether you're half black or all black or whatever and says, you know what? My parents have a problem with any part of that. She needs to know that.

[Co-host]

But he might not know if his parents have a problem with it. Like, that might be why he delighted

[Jen]

motivation, but you just don't know that yet. So the first step is having the conversation with him about it. Hey, Megan, will you call us back after you decide what you're going to do, if you're going to confront him or not?

[Meg]

Yes.

[Jen]

Okay. Give us an update and let us know why he hasn't told his mom about you.

[Meg]

Okay.

[Jen]

All right.

[Meg]

Thank you so much.

[Host]

The bird show.