Vault: She's Going to Tell Taylor Lautner He Says His Own Name Wrong

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault – She's Going to Tell Taylor Lautner He Says His Own Name Wrong

Date: May 19, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Wendy, Jen, and other Bert Show co-hosts
Episode Focus: Wendy prepares to interview Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart at a red carpet event, and contemplates confronting Taylor about the correct pronunciation of his last name.

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Episode Overview

This lively and humorous episode follows show member Wendy as she gets ready to head to Knoxville, Tennessee to cover a red carpet appearance by Twilight stars Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart. With her assignment in mind, the team discusses strategies (and anxieties) about celebrity interviews—with a running joke that Wendy needs to inform Taylor Lautner that he’s mispronouncing his own name. The conversation is filled with playful banter, memorable moments, and shows the behind-the-scenes nerves and excitement of covering major pop culture events.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wendy’s Assignment and Pre-Interview Jitters

• Wendy's Task: Wendy is heading to Knoxville to chase an exclusive red carpet interview with Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart, along with the possibility of a coveted photo op.
• Jokes About Taylor Lautner’s Name: The team is fixated on the “right” way to say Taylor Lautner’s last name, joking that he says it as “Lautner,” while they've always said “Lautner.”
  • [01:53] Show Host: "Yeah, the first thing you gotta do is tell him that he's pronouncing his last name incorrectly."
  • [02:04] Wendy: "It's Taylor Lautner playing so I gotta tell him he's saying his name wrong. Yeah, it’s Lautner."

2. The Red Carpet Hustle

• Navigating Crowds: Wendy is reminded about the highly competitive nature of red carpet interviews and the need to assert herself among other journalists.

  • [02:52] Show Host: “It gets really competitive… You gotta somehow muscle your way up to the front.”
  • [03:18] Wendy: "Me and Jen did American Idol and we were pretty aggressive there. Got some good interviews. But yeah, I'm gonna be aggressive with this one..."

• Fan Enthusiasm: The team playfully encourages Wendy to be more aggressive to get her shot with Lautner, including the importance (jokingly) of a “legal touch” (a photo together).

  • [03:49] Co-host 1: "...if you take a picture, you slide your hand around, you can feel the rippling muscles in his back."

3. Keeping It Cool Around Celebrities

• Don’t Lose Your Cool: The team recalls a viral fan reaction to a movie trailer as a cautionary example for Wendy on how not to act.

  • [04:25] Show Host: "Let me give you an example of what you don't wanna sound like tonight..."
  • [04:50] Excited Fan Clip: "Oh my God. I can't wait. Oh my God. What the f. Has Taylor done to himself? Oh my God, he's so hot. I don't even care if he's like 17. I don't give. He's hot, okay?"

• Memorable Banter: The hosts rib each other about fan obsession and the social etiquette of celebrity crushes.

  • [04:09] Wendy: "No hyperventilating. There will be no heavy breathing."

4. Shoutouts to Kristen Stewart and Twilight Drama

• Discussing Kristen Stewart: The show doesn’t overlook Kristen Stewart’s participation, referencing her (then-rumored) relationship with Robert Pattinson.
  • [03:35] Wendy: "She's dating Robert Pattinson or she's not dating, but dating, so."

5. Pep Talk and Team Support

• Wendy gets supportive encouragement from her colleagues, with reminders to be confident and focused.
  • [04:18] Co-host 1: "Wendy, I have total faith that you are gonna get this interview with Taylor Lautner and you're gonna get a picture with him."
  • [06:18] Wendy: "No hyperventilating. No. There will be no heavy breathing."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

[01:53] Show Host:
“The first thing you gotta do is tell him that he's pronouncing his last name incorrectly.”

[02:04] Wendy:
“It's Taylor Lautner playing so I gotta tell him he's saying his name wrong. Yeah, it’s Lautner.”

[02:52] Show Host:
“It gets really competitive… you gotta keep in mind there's a whole bunch of people that are gonna be jockeying for any words at all that they can bring back...”

[03:49] Co-host 1:
“If you take a picture, you slide your hand around, you can feel the rippling muscles in his back. Try out an ab.”

[04:50] Excited Fan (fan reaction clip):
“Oh my God. Has Taylor done to himself? Oh my God, he's so hot. I don't even care if he's like 17… The boy is hot.”

[06:09] Wendy:
“I can definitely achieve more than that. I will get the interview. Getting the picture.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:31] – Wendy introduces her Knoxville assignment and Taylor Lautner hype.
• [02:52] – Discussion of red carpet competition and Wendy’s plan of attack.
• [04:25] – The infamous viral “excited fan” soundbite; advice for Wendy to stay calm.
• [06:18] – Pep talk segment; Wendy promises not to hyperventilate or lose composure.

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Tone & Style

Throughout the segment, the tone is irreverent, energetic, and filled with friendly teasing. The team is self-aware, poking fun at fan obsessions and red carpet chaos while still expressing genuine excitement for Wendy's assignment.

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Summary Takeaways

This episode perfectly encapsulates the witty, supportive, and slightly zany camaraderie of The Bert Show. Listeners get a fun behind-the-scenes look at the excitement and mild chaos that comes with covering celebrity culture, along with some good-natured ribbing over the silliest details—like the pronunciation of a movie star’s name. Whether you’re a casual Twilight fan or radio enthusiast, you’ll enjoy the blend of humor, real talk, and just enough fangirl energy to keep things interesting.

Transcript

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[Show Host]

Wendy's gonna be ducking out of here a little early. She is on assignment for the next 24 hours.

[Wendy]

On assignment to Knoxville, Tennessee, where Taylor Lautner. Lautner and Kristen Stewart are going to be doing a red carpet thing. And I have the assignment of going to get the Taylor Lautner interview and make out session.

[Show Host]

Yeah, the first thing you got to do is tell him that he's pronouncing his last name incorrectly.

[Wendy]

Yeah, he says it Lautner on the interview we just had with him. But we've been saying Lautner.

[Show Host]

Let's hear how he pronounces it.

[Co-host 1]

Lautner.

[Show Host]

He's messing it all up.

[Co-host 2]

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[Co-host 3]

Hey, what's up?

[Wendy]

It's Taylor Lautner playing so I gotta tell him he's saying his name wrong. Yeah, it's Lautner.

[Show Host]

That's the first, that's your first impression right there. So, yeah, they're gonna be up in Knoxville. So you've got, you gotta be able to control yourself tonight here because you're all excited about Lautner and all that, but you got an assignment you need to bring back. You speaking, you doing an interview with Taylor?

[Wendy]

I think I can handle it. I'm a little nervous right now because, I mean, the drive up there, all I'm gonna be thinking, what do I ask, what do I ask? What do I do when I see him? How am I gonna do my hair? How's my outfit gonna look? I hope I look alright. Is he gonna come to me? I don't know.

[Co-host 3]

You should just sing him. You belong with me.

[Wendy]

Oh, I mean, bring my guitar and be Taylor Swift.

[Show Host]

Or this one, just sing him a little Justin Bieber.

[Wendy]

No. I'm so excited.

[Show Host]

Say, Taylor, this is my ringtone for you. The thing about these red carpet deals also here, Wendy, that you're gonna have to keep in mind is that it gets really competitive. I mean, you gotta keep in mind there's a whole bunch of people that, that are gonna be jockeying for any words at all that they can bring back to their TV station or a radio station. You're gonna have to somehow, some way muscle your way up to the front of that line and it gets vicious in some of the, it does get pretty aggressive.

[Co-host 1]

Wendy and I both experienced it at American Idol.

[Wendy]

Yeah, me and Jen did American Idol and we were pretty aggressive there. Got some good interviews. But yeah, I'm gonna be aggressive with this one if this is my one. To be this close to Taylor Lautner, it's gonna happen.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, definitely.

[Show Host]

And we can't forget that Kristen Stewart's gonna be up there also.

[Co-host 3]

Yes. You know who that is, right, Wendy?

[Excited Fan]

Yes.

[Wendy]

She's dating Robert Pattinson or she's not dating, but dating, so.

[Co-host 3]

And also, I mean, I think you have to try to get a picture with Lautner because that. Lautner, Lautner.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, absolutely.

[Co-host 3]

You have to try to get a picture with him because I mean, that

[Co-host 1]

right there, that way you touch that is legal touching. If you take a picture, you slide your hand around, you can feel the rippling muscles in his back. Try out an ab. Yes. Yeah. Legal touching during the show.

[Co-host 3]

You know what Bert always says at the end of every show as soon as we get off the air. Remember kids, if you're Gonna commit pedophilia. Document it.

[Excited Fan]

What?

[Co-host 3]

So that's what you need to do. Just take a picture.

[Co-host 1]

Exactly.

[Show Host]

Yeah. And then we all, like, put our hands on top of each other like we're in a huddle and.

[Lowe's Announcer]

Yeah, we know this man.

[Co-host 1]

The hell is. Anyway, Wendy, I have total faith that you are gonna get this interview with Taylor Lautner and you're gonna get a picture with him.

[Show Host]

Let me give you an example of what you don't wanna sound like tonight, okay? This is you. Remember we played this for you a couple of months ago. This is the woman in England that was watching the new movie trailer for the very first time. It had just come out. She opens up her laptop, she turns the camera on, and then she starts watching the trailer and she just loses her mind. This is how you don't want to sound like this tonight, okay?

[Excited Fan]

Oh, my God. I can't wait. I can't wait. I almost. I almost don't want to watch it so that I can, you know, watch it again later. Deep breath. Okay, Here we go. Play the beach. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I need to pause it right there. Oh, my God. What the f. Has Taylor done to himself? Oh, my God, he's so hot. I don't even care if he's like 17. I don't give. He's hot, okay? The boy is hot.

[Co-host 3]

She needs to take the pair of dice out of her mouth.

[Excited Fan]

And the wolf. The wolf. It's a proper wolf. It's like a poof and it's a wolf. It's a proper wolf. It's not a little wolf. It's a wolf.

[Wendy]

Should I say that? I'm gonna say that.

[Show Host]

Okay. Try not to sound like that. Your bar is set very low for now.

[Wendy]

I can definitely achieve more than that. I will get the interview. Getting the picture.

[Co-host 1]

Profile picture.

[Show Host]

Go get Taylor. Go get Kristen. Come back.

[Wendy]

No hyperventilating. No. There will be no heavy breathing.

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