Vault: She's In Love With A Guy Who's Leading Her On

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: She's In Love With A Guy Who's Leading Her On
Date: January 29, 2026
Theme: The cast helps a listener, Valerie (voice disguised), navigate her complicated feelings for an ex-boyfriend who is stringing her along while being interested in another woman. The episode takes a candid and often humorous look at relationship dynamics, male vs. female perspectives, and the difficulties of letting go.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Setting Up the Dilemma (00:00–01:41)

• Host A opens with the idea that women seeking advice from other women might not always get a clear picture, joking about the differences in male/female advice-giving:
  • “Like, you can't possibly dumb it down enough to give advice like a guy. And we can't possibly make it complicated enough to give advice like a woman.” (A, 00:21)
• The cast introduces Valerie, who’s placed on a voice disguiser. Valerie reveals her situation:
  • Dated a guy for seven months
  • He broke up with her for (supposedly) school, football, and work complications
  • Three months later, he comes back saying he might want to get back together, but is also interested in another woman
  • Valerie is still in love with him and struggling with what to do

2. Untangling the Situation (01:41–03:28)

• The cast asks clarifying questions about Valerie’s relationship timeline, exclusivity, and whether she’s seeing the guy or just "in limbo."
• Host B sums it up: “He's leaving the door open for her to be hopeful that they could get back together. And you’re in love with him.” (B, 01:41)
• Valerie admits she’s tempted to wait it out despite the confusion.

3. Male Callers Weigh In (03:28–06:12)

• Jeff (Caller): Suggests the guy is “keeping you on that string just in case it doesn’t work out with this other girl.”
• Andrew (Caller): Bluntly declares, “This guy is holding her around for a booty call. As simple as that.” (G, 04:17)
• Host A and Host B reinforce this translation, noting how direct male perspectives can be.
  • “Are you still intimate with this guy?” (A, 04:54)
• Valerie clarifies they haven’t been intimate since breaking up.
• Another caller, Matt: “He just wants sex.” (G, 05:25)
• Tim (Caller): Confirms prior advice, “Here he is holding you on the side in case something happens between him and his current.” (F, 05:53)

4. Hard Truths and Emotional Complexity (06:12–07:15)

• Host A summarizes the group consensus: "You're the booty call. Or it's still so open ended with the other girl that he wants you as the safety net. That's it." (A, 06:02)
• Valerie struggles to accept this, saying multiple friends have warned her, but “I don't want to believe them so.” (C, 06:45)
• Hosts point out that being told by guys directly might make it more “real” for her.

5. A Different View (07:15–08:16)

• Mark (Caller), a self-described drill sergeant, weighs in with age and maturity perspective.
  • “The guy is in that emotional transition where he’s kind of stuck on her, but he's not really matured to the point where he can cut a relationship. So he’s trying to keep that going because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. And yet he’s ready to move on to something else.” (H, 07:49)
• Despite his different angle, he still advises: "She needs to split. It's done." (H, 08:12)

6. Discussion on Power Dynamics and Likely Outcomes (08:16–09:01)

• Hosts discuss what happens if Valerie walks away:
  • “If you make that power play and you go, look, I don’t want any part of this, he’s gonna make full court press for you . . . And you guys will go out for four weeks, and then the other chick will be back.” (A, 08:39)
• The cyclical, noncommittal dynamic is clearly laid out.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can't possibly dumb it down enough to give advice like a guy. And we can't possibly make it complicated enough to give advice like a woman.” — Host A (00:21)
• “He's leaving the door open for her to be hopeful that they could get back together. And you’re in love with him.” — Host B (01:41)
• “He’s just wanting that, all right?” — Tim (Caller) (05:42)
• “You’re the booty call. Or it’s still so open ended with the other girl that he wants you as the safety net. That’s it.” — Host A (06:02)
• “You have the full knowledge now. So the decision you make, you cannot say I was stupid. Everybody’s telling you exactly how it is. So if you want to be the booty call, then you’re the booty call. But don’t expect anything more.” — Host D (06:58)
• “What happens is when you get young people that build a relationship . . . the guy is in that emotional transition where he's kind of stuck on her, but he's not really matured to the point where he can cut a relationship.” — Mark (Drill Sergeant Caller) (07:49)
• “If you make that power play . . . he’s gonna make full court press for you . . . And you guys will go out for four weeks, and then the other chick will be back.” — Host A (08:39)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–01:41 — Opening banter, introducing Valerie and her story
• 01:41–03:28 — Breaking down timeline and current situation
• 03:28–06:12 — Male callers weigh in with blunt advice
• 06:12–07:15 — Emotional reality check; Valerie’s struggle to believe the truth
• 07:15–08:16 — Mark (Drill Sergeant) gives a maturity/age-based perspective
• 08:16–09:01 — Discussion of what happens if Valerie walks away, predicted outcomes

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Episode Tone & Style

• The conversation is frank, funny, and sometimes irreverent, balanced by supporting, genuine advice.
• Hosts and callers use straightforward language, sometimes blunt, aiming to cut through emotional fog and provide actionable clarity.

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Conclusion

This episode offers a revealing look into a common relationship dilemma, with the cast and callers using humor and tough love to help Valerie see her worth and the need for clarity in romantic relationships. The consensus is clear: Valerie is being led on, and she deserves more than to be someone’s backup plan. The real challenge, as the cast empathizes, is following through with what she already knows in her heart.

Transcript

[A]

The Birch show. I think the problem here is this. When you're a woman and you're looking for advice and you're going to other women, I think that's a bad move right there.

[B]

Sometimes we need guy translators. Like, what does this behavior really mean? Like, he's not saying anything here. So the absence of words means what? Or he's actually said this, this, and this. Translate that into girl speak.

[A]

Like, you can't possibly dumb it down enough to give advice like a guy. And we can't possibly make it complicated enough to give advice like a woman.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

We just can't. So we're gonna put Valerie on the voice disguiser here, and I'm gonna open up the phones just for guys. Cause we're gonna try to get into her boyfriend's head here just a little bit. Hey, Valerie, you're on the voice disguiser.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Hey. What's happening?

[C]

He's actually not my boyfriend right now.

[A]

Okay, when did that stop?

[C]

About five months ago.

[A]

Okay, give us the whole story here.

[C]

We dated for a while. He broke up with me and came back three months later and says he wants me back, but also doesn't know because he has feelings for another girl at the same time and has been trying to make this decision for a couple months now and just hasn't gotten anywhere.

[A]

All right, we're fast forwarding a little bit too much here.

[D]

How long did y' all date? Initially?

[C]

Around seven months.

[A]

Okay, seven months. And then who broke up with who?

[C]

He broke up with me.

[A]

And then how many months go by before he. He calls you back saying, that was a stupid thing I just did?

[C]

Around three.

[A]

Three months. Okay, and then you guys start dating exclusively?

[C]

No, we haven't even gone back out. He's just saying that he possibly wants to get back together and stuff like that, but he's.

[B]

He's leaving the door open for her to be hopeful that they could get back together. And you're in love with him.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And he's telling you that he's interested in another woman also.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

And you're tempted to go back?

[B]

Well, you've been waiting all this time.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Okay, well, let's hear from guys. 404-741. Q100.

[E]

Little obvious.

[A]

I don't think this is gonna take long.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I said off air. I said, so what you're telling me is that you are trying to decide between me and another woman. And. And then I said, you know what? I can make that decision easy for you, but you want to go Back?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Not necessarily even asking for resolution. She's just like, tell me what he's thinking. Okay, so the basic facts are this. They go out for seven months. He breaks up with her. For what reason, by the way?

[C]

School. Football. We actually work together.

[A]

Football.

[C]

Football, yeah.

[D]

School and football.

[C]

And we work together, and people were getting involved.

[A]

It was just too complicated. He needed. We didn't. He didn't have time to dedicate to the relationship. Is that it?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So he bails on you. Couple of months go by, then he starts calling back on. That was ridiculous. We got to make this work. However, I also got this other girl that I'm kind of seeing also, and, man, I just can't make a decision on who I want to see. Is that about right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I don't mean to lie. I know this is your. And I know that it hurts you, but.

[E]

And what do you really like? You really don't. You're really, really needing advice on this. Like, you really don't know.

[C]

Yeah, Like, I would love to just cut him out of my life and go on, but he's in our group of friends. I work with him, stuff like that, so.

[E]

All right, listener.

[A]

Jeff, what's going on? Hey.

[F]

I was gonna say, what kind of relationship is she having with him right now? I mean, is she. Is she still kind of going out and doing stuff with him?

[C]

We hang out. Yeah.

[F]

All right. He's probably keeping background, keeping you on that string just in case it doesn't work out with this other girl he has come back to.

[A]

So he. She is sort of the safety net. So if it doesn't work out with the other girl, then he for sure will say, I want to go with you.

[F]

Well, yeah, maybe not even a safety net. Maybe just maybe. Just so he could. He could always have that option in case he changes his mind. Bottom line is, he doesn't know what he wants. He should move on.

[A]

Andrew, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[G]

Hey, question. Does Mike Tyson and Bill Bellamy come to Murray? I said this guy is holding her around for a booty call. As simple as that. He still loves her and he wants her back, but he's still in love with another woman. This sounds like. This sounds like one of those jokes that you hear on the back of a milk carton or something. It's simple. She should know this right off the bat, Valerie.

[B]

But sometimes we try. We complicate it too much. We need guy advice like that. Like what he just said. You have to really listen to that. Valerie. He said you are the booty call.

[A]

Are you still intimate with this guy?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay, come on.

[E]

When's the last. When's the last time you guys were naked together? And don't lie.

[C]

I don't even know you're lying.

[E]

Yeah, you do.

[A]

Yes, you are.

[D]

When was the last time you kissed him?

[C]

Two weeks before we broke up around there.

[D]

Two weeks before you broke up.

[A]

So months ago is what you're saying.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Good morning, Q100.

[G]

Hi.

[A]

What's up, Matt?

[G]

Hey. Have you guys been intimate before?

[C]

Valerie? Yes, kind of.

[G]

Okay, well, that's all he's wanting. He ain't been laid in three months. He's just wanting sex.

[C]

No, we never slept together.

[G]

Okay, well, he hasn't had whatever you've given him in three months.

[F]

He's just wanting that, all right?

[A]

And I think you're pretty much going to hear the same thing over and over again. That's why this is not going to take long. Tim, go ahead.

[F]

Hey. Yeah. Everybody is exactly right.

[G]

Here he is holding you on the side in case something happens between him and his current.

[A]

And that's it. Game's over. You're the booty call. Or it's still so open ended with the other girl that he wants you as the safety net. That's it.

[B]

Does it make it more real? All right, I was just gonna say, does it make it more real to hear it from guys?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

You're not gonna change anything, are you?

[C]

No, I am.

[E]

No, you're not. Calls back in a week, you're still gonna be waiting for this guy. It's okay. Nobody changes, Jeff.

[D]

It's different. Because they're in love. Come on.

[A]

Just the suggestion to you is so disrespectful. You know, like I want to get back to you with you. However, there's this other girl that I'm sort of into also, so I can't really commit to you. Let's see how it all plays out. That's so disrespectful. Like he's not telling you you're number one.

[C]

Yeah, I have friends telling me the same thing, but I. I don't know. I don't want to believe them so.

[D]

Well now.

[E]

But you're gonna believe us?

[D]

Yeah. You've been get. I don't think she will. I agree with you, Jeff.

[A]

I think she will.

[D]

I think that you have the full knowledge now. So the decision you make, you cannot say I was stupid. Everybody's telling you exactly how it is. So if you want to be the booty call, Then you're the booty call. But don't expect anything more.

[A]

I do want to put Mark on. Cause he says we're giving her awful advice, and we're all wrong.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Mark, good morning. You're on Q100.

[H]

Hey, good morning, Bert. I. We need to ask her a quick question. How old is she and how old is the guy?

[C]

I'm in my early 20s. And he's a couple years younger.

[H]

Exactly.

[F]

Okay.

[H]

Due to my extensive experience with young people being a soldier, I can tell you what happens is this.

[A]

You do have a drill sergeant.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You sure?

[A]

You will listen to my advice and you will take it.

[D]

I'm about to drop.

[H]

Yeah, actually, I'm the drill sergeant guy that recorded that clip for you.

[F]

Thank you.

[H]

What happens is when you get young people that build a relationship, and since they haven't gotten busy, basically what happens is the guy is in that emotional transition where he's kind of stuck on her, but he's not really matured to the point where he can cut a relationship. So he's trying to keep that going because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. And yet he's ready to move on to something else.

[A]

So either way, the bottom line is she's not number one.

[H]

And, oh, yeah, she needs to split. It's done.

[D]

You gotta listen to the drill sergeant.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Make you do 50 if you don't, man. I mean, everybody's saying the same thing, right? So I don't know. I don't know that we gotta spend any more time on that.

[B]

All right, now, is it possible if she drops him right now like a bad habit, that he could freak out and start and come back?

[A]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[E]

He probably will.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

How long till she gives in on that?

[A]

If you just know this, if you do, like, make that power play and you go, look, I don't want any part of this, he's gonna make full court press for you. I mean, he's gonna pressure you hard, and you're probably gonna fall for it, and you'll go, okay, you know what? He has seen my ways. And you guys will go out for four weeks, and then the other chick will be back.

[D]

It'll end the same. It's just gonna. One's gonna delay the ending.

[B]

Good luck.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

The bird.