Vault: She's In Love With Someone Who Won't Say It Back

Summary

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Episode Overview

Title: Vault: She’s In Love With Someone Who Won’t Say It Back
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Date: February 5, 2026

In this engaging episode, the Bert Show hosts and callers unpack the emotional dilemma faced by Megan, a listener who’s deeply in love with her boyfriend of over a year—yet he refuses to say "I love you" despite expressing his affection in other ways. The conversation explores the significance of saying "I love you," differing relationship expectations, and whether words or actions matter more in love. Throughout, the tone is candid, humorous, sometimes blunt, and supportive, with hosts and callers sharing personal stories and heartfelt advice.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Megan's Situation: In Love, But Not Hearing "I Love You" (00:01–03:00)

• Megan has been with her boyfriend for a bit over a year, considers herself definitely in love, but hasn't said it because he told her he won't say it unless he truly means it.
  • “He says all the time, you know, I'm crazy about you. And… I'm not afraid of spending forever with you... He said, well, I hate the word. I hate saying it. I hate it as a nickname because it's so cheapened...” – Megan (00:52–01:23)
• The boyfriend’s rationale: He wants the words to have weight and isn’t interested in meaningless declarations.
• Hosts generally respect his stance.
  • “That premise I can buy into.” – Host 2 (01:41)
  • “There's nothing wrong with that.” – Host 1 (02:37)
• Megan’s issue is more with the superficial use of “I love you” by others, which she feels impacts her own relationship dynamic.
  • “It frustrates me every time I hear that to no end, because it's guys like him that are the reason that my perfectly healthy relationship won't say the word.” – Megan (03:01)

2. Callers’ Stories: Contrasting Experiences With “I Love You” (03:20–09:49)

• Jessica: Shares that her husband didn’t say “I love you” to a previous girlfriend for three years, but told Jessica after only a month.
  • “After we were together for a month, he told me… it just has to be the right person.” – Jessica (03:37)
• Hosts challenge and tease this, inferring that sometimes timing or motivation is suspect.
  • “It was a month and a day before you took your pants off then. Cause, I mean, that is such a move. Well done, my friend. Your husband is my hero.” – Host 1 (03:51)
• Discussion about whether Megan might be hearing the truth that her boyfriend just isn’t quite there yet emotionally.
  • “He may not be fully in love with you yet, even though you guys have been dating for a year.” – Host 2 (04:19)
• Megan insists her boyfriend’s actions consistently demonstrate love, even if he doesn’t say it.
  • “He acts that way all the time… he's always saying it in not quite so many words or, like, proving it by the way that he'll act and the way that he'll treat me.” – Megan (04:30)

3. Deeper Dive: Do Actions Speak Louder? Security vs. Hearing the Words (04:45–07:36)

• Hosts press Megan about her feelings and whether not hearing "I love you" makes her insecure.
  • Megan replies: “No, it's not really that. It's just, you know, it's nice to hear. It's like, why shouldn't I hear it?” (04:51)
• More callers share stories where partners delayed saying “I love you,” but actions made the love clear. For some, waiting to hear it made the eventual moment even more meaningful.
  • “Usually, like, I would tell him and he'd say, aw, thank you. And it was really awkward. But the one day that he finally told me, it made it so worth it.” – Caller 3 (07:00)
• Hosts advise Megan that expressing how she feels authentically, without expecting a reciprocated declaration, might not be as awkward as she fears.

4. Male Perspective and Further Experiences (08:04–09:49)

• Michael asks about how Megan feels in public and private with her boyfriend; she affirms she feels cared for and loved.
  • “Do you feel loved by this guy?” – Host 2 (06:16)
  • “I definitely do. He tells me all the time he's crazy about me. He shows it to me.” – Megan (06:19)
• More listener input stresses that every person and relationship has a different timeline and comfort level with these expressions.
  • “He would never get married again. And he would never say he loved it unless he meant it. And he actually told me about a year and a half into our relationship that he loved me. And we've been married for seven years.” – Tracy (09:08)
• Hosts note some people just take longer, and past experiences (like divorce) can deeply affect openness.

5. Annie’s “Tough Love” Advice (10:28–11:42)

• Annie, a recurring advice giver, drops in with blunt, comedic feedback.
  • “You are annoying me. He's gonna say it when he's ready. And you're complaining about this. I feel like you complain about everything…” – Annie (10:35)
• Annie encourages Megan to be bold and say “I love you” if she feels it, regardless of whether it’s reciprocated immediately.
  • “Well, if she loves him, then, yeah. Like, really have some guts here. Like, okay, so you say he doesn't say it back. Big deal. He'll say it to you when he's ready.” – Annie (11:02–11:09)
• She asserts that perhaps the boyfriend isn't fully in love yet—and that's okay, as actions can show growing love.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On meaningful declarations:

  "He says... I'm crazy about you... but he said he won’t say [I love you] unless he really means it."
  – Megan (01:23)

• On skepticism about men’s motives:

  "It was a month and a day before you took your pants off then. Cause, I mean, that is such a move. Well done, my friend. Your husband is my hero."
  – Host 1 (03:51)

• On balancing words and actions:

  "He acts that way all the time... he's always saying it in not quite so many words or, like, proving it by the way that he'll act and the way that he'll treat me."
  – Megan (04:30)

• On patience and perspective:

  "When he does say it, then you know that it's true. He's not gonna say it just because you wanna hear it."
  – Jessica (04:09)

• Tough love:

  "If she loves him, then, yeah. Like, really have some guts here... He’ll say it to you when he's ready."
  – Annie (11:02)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:01–03:00 – Megan introduces her situation; boyfriend’s reasoning for not saying “I love you.”
• 03:20–04:45 – Jessica and hosts debate what not saying "I love you" might mean; stories of people who waited or never said it.
• 04:45–07:36 – Emotional impact of not hearing "I love you;" callers discuss actions vs. words.
• 08:56–09:49 – Tracy shares encouragement from her own patient, now-successful marriage.
• 10:28–11:42 – Annie gives her signature tough love advice, pushing Megan to act on her feelings.

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Conclusion

The episode wraps without a perfectly clear answer, reflecting the real complexity of relationships and the diversity of comfort levels with emotional vulnerability. The hosts, Annie, and the callers drive home that in love, words are important—but for some, actions speak just as loudly. Megan's story resonates with anyone who's ever anxiously waited for "I love you," offering both empathy and practical perspectives on patience, honesty, and self-expression.

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Transcript

[Host 1]

The Bird Show.

[Host 2]

Hey, Megan.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Host 2]

Good morning. How are you?

[Megan]

Good.

[Host 2]

Now, we've done this before. It was in the past where we've talked about guys. It's just the words can't come out of their mouth for whatever reason. The I love you.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. And you've been with your boyfriend for how long?

[Megan]

A little over a year.

[Caller 1]

Over a year. Okay. And you feel like you are definitely in love with him?

[Megan]

Yes, definitely. And you've told him no, Because I don't want to say it if he's not gonna say it and bring up the whole awkward situation.

[Host 1]

How do you know he's not gonna say it then?

[Megan]

Cause he's already told me he's not gonna say it.

[Host 1]

He's told you?

[Caller 2]

Yeah. How did that come up? Because I know that usually in a relationship before the official I love you is always the little. I guess I'm gonna tell you.

[Host 2]

If you say this to me, will you say.

[Caller 2]

If I said. Yeah, if I said I love you?

[Megan]

Kinda like, he's my best friend, too, so we talk all the time, and we were just talking in general about things like that. And he says all the time, you know, I'm crazy about you. And I don't. You know, I don't. I'm not afraid of spending forever with, you know, we were talking about love and just that kind of stuff. And he said, well, I hate the word. I hate saying it. I hate it. I hate it as a nickname because it's. It's so cheapened by guys that don't really mean it and girls that just think they have to say it because they're in a relationship and I don't want to say it and come across as the same kind of a guy that says, I love you, I love you, and then goes and cheats on you. He said he won't say it unless he really means it.

[Host 2]

That premise I can buy into. How old is this guy, though?

[Megan]

23.

[Host 2]

23.

[Caller 2]

23. Do you mind if I ask if he is from a divorced family?

[Megan]

No, he's not.

[Caller 2]

Okay. The only reason I say that is because there's times where we've talked to listeners who felt like they, you know, they saw their parents divorce and there's, you know, an association with the I love you from that, so.

[Host 2]

And you're afraid that if you say it first, then he's not going to say it, then things are really going to be awkward.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

How long ago did he tell you he wasn't going to say it?

[Megan]

Probably about five or six months. Ago.

[Host 2]

So he. Did he say that? When I say those words to you, you're. You're going to know that I really mean it, or did he say, don't ever expect those words to come out of my mouth.

[Megan]

He said, when he says them, I can know that he really, without a doubt, means it in a forever kind of way.

[Host 2]

I got no beef with this guy.

[Host 1]

There's nothing wrong with that.

[Host 2]

I got zero beef with this guy.

[Host 1]

What's your issue then?

[Megan]

No, my issue isn't so much with that guy. It's just with him. I mean, obviously, if I had a huge issue with it, we wouldn't still be going out. It's. It's more an issue with guys. Like, the topic came up because of the guy that called who was talking about how he maybe got his best friend, his girlfriend's best friend, pregnant.

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Megan]

Oh, I love my girlfriend. And it's like, it frustrates me every time I hear that to no end, because it's guys like him that are the reason that my perfectly healthy relationship won't say the word.

[Host 2]

I think that's completely legit. Completely. Jessica, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Jessica]

Hi. My husband, when he dated his last girlfriend before me, was with her for three years and never told her that he loved her. And he explained it to me, like, because I didn't, so I wasn't going to say it when I didn't feel it.

[Megan]

And.

[Jessica]

And after we were together for a month, he told me, and he was, you know, just have to be the right person.

[Host 1]

God, you got so played. Seriously.

[Host 2]

What do you mean?

[Caller 2]

That doesn't make any money.

[Host 1]

He would never tell his girlfriend that. He never said that.

[Host 2]

That's what he said.

[Jessica]

She would say it to him and he wouldn't say it back.

[Host 1]

It was a month and a day before you took your pants off then. Cause, I mean, that is such a move. Well done, my friend. Your husband is my hero.

[Caller 2]

But I'm also thinking of her telling this. You're telling Megan, like, oh, well, he's not telling you because he really doesn't love you, but the next girl he's with, it'll only take a month.

[Host 2]

Well, she's being honest here. So, Jessica, what you're saying to me is that this guy's being so honest with you that he really doesn't feel it yet.

[Jessica]

Exactly. And he's not gonna say it when he feels it. And that way, when you. Like you were saying before, when he does say it, then you know that it's true. He's not gonna say it just because you wanna hear it.

[Host 2]

Now, that's harsh to hear there, Megan, but that might be completely true. He may not be fully in love with you yet, even though you guys have been dating for a year. Does it take. I mean, some people are gonna call up and go, look, you're gonna know in a year.

[Megan]

He acts that way all the time. I mean, I think I know without it being said. He's always saying it in not quite so many words or, like, proving it by the way that he'll act and the way that he'll treat me. I mean.

[Caller 1]

So do you feel insecure that he doesn't love you unless you hear it?

[Megan]

No, it's not really that. It's just, you know, it's nice to hear. It's like, why shouldn't I hear it? Because of all these other guys that are church.

[Host 2]

Well, I think because he's holding it to a different standard. I think the guy's being great about it.

[Host 1]

I don't think he loves you.

[Host 2]

You might be right. I mean, you're being kind of funny and kind of harsh. He might not feel that yet.

[Caller 2]

I mean, I am concerned about the time. I mean, I get about, oh, he's being honorable. And he doesn't want to say it, but they've been together over a year.

[Host 2]

Yeah. Like, normally you would know within a year if you're in love with somebody or not. Right.

[Caller 2]

Six months. I'd be like, well.

[Megan]

But, like, we started out as being just the best friends. I was in a relationship with a really abusive guy. And we had been together for two and a half or three years. So at first I think it was because he knew that I wasn't ready to hear it. And now it's just like. I don't know. I mean, I can tell that he does just by how he treats me. He doesn't treat anybody I know much less, especially not any females the same way.

[Host 2]

Hey, Michael. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Michael]

Yeah, all I was gonna say was, I mean, I heard her mention it already, but, I mean, it depends on how his actions are around you. You say he's a real good friend of yours and stuff. Then how does he treat you out and about when you're in public than when you're by yourself?

[Host 2]

Yeah. Do you feel loved by this guy?

[Megan]

I really. I mean, I definitely do. He tells me all the time he's crazy about me. He shows it to me.

[Host 2]

He.

[Megan]

He protects me. He lets other people know, hey, you know, I don't want you to look at her that way because she's not going out with you. She's going out with me.

[Host 2]

Andrea, you got some advice for Megan? Andrea, Go ahead.

[Annie]

I'm sorry.

[Caller 3]

I just wanted to tell her. I actually live in a similar situation. My boyfriend is mainly because of the one time that he was in love with, but I told him I loved him three months before he told me. And usually, like, I would tell him and he'd say, aw, thank you. And it was really awkward. But the one day that he finally told me, it made it so worth it.

[Caller 1]

So you say that she should just say how she feels. Regardless of what the response is gonna be.

[Host 2]

She's already gone.

[Caller 1]

I think that's what she did. Would you be comfortable doing that, Megan?

[Megan]

Ooh, I don't know.

[Caller 1]

I mean, just telling him that you're in love with him, even if the.

[Host 2]

Response is that I might freak him.

[Caller 1]

Out, he might say thank you.

[Megan]

It might just be really weird. Like, I don't want it to be pushy or anything like that.

[Caller 1]

But if you're saying it, I tell.

[Megan]

Him that I'm crazy about him a little bit.

[Caller 1]

But if you're saying it because you feel it and you truly are not expecting a response, then it doesn't have to be awkward.

[Host 2]

Hey, Tyler. You've been in the same situation?

[Annie]

Well, sort of.

[Caller 4]

I dated a guy for three years, and it took him. Took us over a year to see say I love you. And even after that, we wouldn't say I love you every day. You know, when you get off the phone, it wasn't, oh, I love you, goodbye, because he wanted to say it, you know, when he was truly feeling.

[Caller 3]

Not.

[Caller 4]

Not that he didn't feel it every day, but, you know, he just didn't want to throw the word around lightly. Every guy.

[Host 1]

That is such bs, ladies.

[Caller 1]

Like.

[Caller 2]

It sounds like an expanded.

[Host 2]

Though.

[Host 1]

I understand it at the beginning. Like, at the beginning of the relationship, if the guy doesn't want to say it right away. Like, didn't you, you Heisman Stacey, Right when she first said it to you, you were like, I'm not ready for it right now. And you kept with, that is admirable and respectable. Right? But now when you're. When you get a couple years into it, it's too much and they're still not saying it. Or he's like, I'm not gonna say it every day because I don't wanna.

[Host 2]

Just throw it around.

[Host 1]

Cause I just don't wanna throw it out.

[Caller 1]

Whatever.

[Caller 4]

I mean, that was not the demise of the relationship. But that did end up being an issue. Saying. I do wanna say that more.

[Host 1]

There you go.

[Host 2]

Others are calling and saying that it took their husbands or boyfriends way longer than that even. Hey, Tracy, you're on Q100.

[Megan]

Hey, how are you?

[Host 2]

Good, thank you.

[Caller 4]

I just wanted to let her know that my husband. I'm currently married right now, the marriage, for seven years, to not give up. He actually said the same thing.

[Megan]

He didn't.

[Caller 4]

He would never get married again. And he would never say he loved it unless he meant it. And he actually told me about a year and a half into our relationship that he loved me. And we've been married for seven years.

[Caller 3]

So.

[Host 2]

Year and a half.

[Caller 1]

Did you say it first?

[Caller 4]

He said it first.

[Caller 1]

So you waited a year and a half because you wouldn't go there first.

[Caller 3]

Right.

[Host 2]

And how long into dating him did you know that you were in love with him?

[Caller 4]

Probably about six months.

[Megan]

Six months? Maybe.

[Caller 4]

I just held out. We had both come from a bad divorce, so we were both divorced and. But yeah, we're happily married for seven years now. So don't give up.

[Host 2]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

Good for you.

[Caller 2]

All right.

[Host 2]

Jeff, you missed a segment on. On Friday. We had Ask Annie on.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Boy, did she keep it real.

[Host 1]

She's good.

[Host 2]

Uncomfortably real.

[Caller 1]

She's straight.

[Host 2]

Yes.

[Host 1]

We were kids talking to her.

[Host 2]

Yes. But she was talking about very adult material.

[Host 1]

Who's she talking about?

[Host 2]

Lewinsky's. Shut up. Yes.

[Caller 2]

No.

[Host 1]

Get out of here.

[Host 2]

Yeah. It was shock. I was silent. I had no response.

[Caller 1]

She said they were so gross that she never planned to do that even when she got married, because that's gross.

[Host 1]

Really?

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Good for her. And her parents definitely bought her a drink this weekend.

[Host 2]

13 patron all the way around for the 13.

[Caller 1]

Isn't today her birthday?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Happy birthday, Annie.

[Host 2]

She's back.

[Annie]

Oh, thank you.

[Host 2]

Hey, Aska, Annie. How are you?

[Megan]

Good.

[Host 2]

All right, you've got some tough love advice here for Megan.

[Megan]

Oh, of course.

[Host 2]

Okay, go ahead.

[Annie]

You are annoying me. He's gonna say it when he's ready. And you're complaining about this. I feel like you complain about everything because he's gonna say when he's ready and you're complaining like that's.

[Megan]

Stop. I felt like you're judging me pretty quickly there to say. I complained about absolutely everything. I was more complaining about other men than him.

[Annie]

Okay, well, this is him, not other men.

[Caller 1]

Annie, do you think that she should tell him that she loves him?

[Annie]

Well, if she loves him, then, yeah. Like, really have some guts here. Like, okay, so you say he doesn't say it back.

[Megan]

Big deal.

[Annie]

He'll say it to you when he's ready.

[Caller 1]

And how should she find out if he really loves her or not? Like, if he doesn't say it for another six months?

[Annie]

Well, when he says it, it's not like you have to be sneaky and.

[Caller 4]

Find out if he loves you or not.

[Annie]

He either loves you or he doesn't. Obviously, he doesn't love you fully right now, so he's not going to say it.

[Host 2]

But he is showing her that he loves her, but he's just not saying it. You say that's okay so long as he's showing it.

[Annie]

Well, really, like, is he really showing it that he loves her or just that he's beginning to love her? Like, really?

[Host 1]

Maybe Megan should show up by doing some of those things that Annie would never do.

[Annie]

Yeah, how about not.

[Megan]

Happy birthday, Annie.

[Host 2]

Thirteen years old today, which today are 30th. It's just like one of those Dominican Republic baseball players say that they're 16, but they're really 32.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Host 2]

All right, Megan, hopefully you have something there to chew on.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Okay.

[Host 1]

The bird show.