Vault: She's married to a man with a double life

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: She's Married to a Man with a Double Life

Date: July 24, 2026

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Overview

This gripping episode of The Bert Show features a listener, Ashley, who shares her shocking real-life story of discovering her husband’s secret double life. What seemed to be a typical family with two kids and financial struggles rapidly unravels when Ashley finds out through a news report that her husband is not only unfaithful but has been involved in serious criminal activities. The episode’s main theme is the importance of trusting one’s instincts and the powerful reminder that appearances can be fatally deceiving.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ashley’s Relationship and Early Warning Signs

• How They Met:
  • Ashley met her husband while performing CPR on a friend of his outside a bar (01:30).
  • Relationship moved very quickly, especially as she was vulnerable after a previous breakup.
• Initial Red Flags:
  • Verbal abuse began about a year in; relationship became rocky but she tried to make it work for their daughter (01:30 - 02:30).
  • Noted that “deep in my heart, I knew always that I wasn’t quite happy” (08:34).

2. The Husband’s Increasingly Suspicious Behavior

• Recent Behavior Changes:
  • Husband lost his job, Ashley had to work long hours (often night shifts), leaving her daughter with him (02:45 - 03:30).
  • He claimed to have a new job, withdrew money frequently for alleged work expenses, but was often absent and eventually disappeared (03:45).
• The Disappearance:
  • “One day, he just didn’t come home … That was two Fridays ago” (04:12).
  • Ashley panics trying to locate her husband; no calls or messages received.

3. The Shocking News Revelation

• Discovering the Truth:
  • Through a friend’s tip and watching Fox 5 News, Ashley learns her husband was arrested for kidnapping a woman at gunpoint, involvement with multiple drugs, and trafficking (05:00 - 06:29).
  • “I found out Friday night … he had bound and gagged a woman in her home, at gunpoint. With stolen weapons, crystal meth, cocaine, marijuana on him.” (04:55)

4. Betrayal and Fallout

• The Double Life Unveiled:
  • Ashley is contacted by his friends after the arrest, who reveal he’s been cheating on her with at least ten women and was trafficking drugs for years (05:30, 06:58).
  • Family and friends suddenly share warnings and secrets they’d kept (07:51).
  • “Why are you telling me this now? Why did you let this go this far?” (07:51)
• Health and Safety Concerns:
  • As a nurse and pregnant woman, Ashley panics over possible health risks to her and her children due to her husband’s lifestyle (06:58).

5. Emotional Impact & Support Structures

• Immediate Emotional Response:
  • “I got physically sick … I threw up, actually … I could not handle it …” (06:58)
  • “I mean, I’ve been going through anger, crying, growing up physically, you know, distress manifesting itself physically … just a roller coaster.” (11:36)
• Family’s Reaction:
  • Ashley’s mother is frustrated, criticizing her for not leaving sooner due to family history of abuse and crime (12:16 - 12:26).
  • “My mom … said, you deserve everything you’re getting because you’ve put up with him for so long.” (12:00)
  • “She just said, you didn’t learn from me, so I don’t have any sympathy for you.” (12:26)
  • Co-hosts disagree, noting “Nobody deserves this.” (12:03)

6. The Aftermath

• Personal Safety:
  • Ashley relocates immediately, deeply afraid for her and her daughter’s safety.
  • Reports cars circling her house, and lack of police support as the case is an “ongoing investigation” (10:47).
• Financial Hardship:
  • Husband empties bank accounts before his arrest; Ashley is left with only $20 (10:35).
• Long-term Impact:
  • Bert notes: “For you, I mean, your whole life changes in one day, in one news report. Everything that you know is different.” (11:28)
• Support:
  • Relatives step in to provide financial and emotional support (10:47).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ashley (On the realization):
  • “He had the face of my husband, the name of my husband, but nothing like I thought he was.” (07:11)
  • “I mean, I’m just so glad nobody got hurt … it just really has rocked my world for the last 10 days.” (09:23)
• On being let down by others:
  • “Why are you telling me this now? Why did you let this go this far? … I’m so mad at everybody … I’m mad at myself.” (07:51)
• Emotional reaction:
  • “I got physically sick … I threw up, actually.” (06:58)
• A message to listeners:
  • “If somebody out there is wondering if they should get out of a relationship that’s not good for them, nobody liked my husband … deep in my heart, I knew always that I wasn’t quite happy, but I think I just wanted the relationship to work so much.” (07:57)
• Bert, closing the theme:
  • “The reason why we’re putting Ashley on here, she’s telling you, look, follow your gut here. She was getting those little messages in the back of her head all the time, and she was ignoring them… wakes up one morning and finds out that her husband is a drug dealer and basically kidnapped a woman.” (12:30)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:30 – Ashley recounts how she met her husband, describes the early romance.
• 03:45 – Signs of trouble: suspicious behavior, disappearance.
• 04:55 – The news breaks: Ashley finds out about her husband’s arrest and crimes.
• 06:29 – Ashley describes her reaction to seeing the news report.
• 06:58 – Emotional and physical toll is revealed.
• 07:51 – Friends and family finally share what they knew; Ashley expresses anger and betrayal.
• 09:23 – Hindsight and the realization of long-ignored red flags.
• 10:35 – Ashley details the financial devastation.
• 10:47 – Safety concerns and moving out for protection.
• 11:28 – Acknowledging the total upheaval of Ashley’s life.

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Final Thoughts

• Resonant Takeaway:
  • The episode starkly illustrates the importance of listening to your intuition and the devastating consequences of ignoring red flags.
  • Listeners are left with a powerful call to consider their own relationships and wellbeing.

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Show Tone

The conversation is raw, sympathetic, and occasionally incredulous given the unbelievable twists. Ashley is candid and vulnerable, while the hosts respond with support, reality checks, and a touch of humor to lighten the tension at the close. This emotional authenticity is both comforting and sobering for listeners.

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Transcript

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[D]

Here is Ashley, y'.

[E]

All.

[D]

This is, this is a jaw dropping story right here and her message really is pretty clear. Look, if your gut is telling you there's something wrong, there's probably something wrong. And nobody knows better than she does. Hey, Ashley.

[C]

Hey, Bert. How are you doing?

[D]

Good. Okay, you're on the voice disguiser now. I don't want to have to question you through this story because in reading of your emails there are so many twists and turns to this thing that I think if I try to interrupt you with questions, it'll mess it all up. So tell your story.

[C]

Okay? Hey guys. I love your show. For a long time I don't thought I'd be a crazy person calling up and telling you something like this, but anyway, it all started I met my husband four years ago. I actually am a registered nurse down in Atlanta and I was performing CPR on his friend who fell out drunk outside a bar in his head. So that's how I met him. And that's a great story. Like, you know, just progressed pretty fast and you know, we just kind of fell hard for each other and told me everything I wanted to hear. I had just come out of a two year relationship before that, so I was pretty vulnerable when I met him. But you know, it was like a whirlwind romance. Everything was good. And then probably about a year into the relationship, the, you know, the name calling started, you know, the verbal abuse started and it just kind of got progressively worse. You know, I got pregnant with my daughter in 2008 and at that time, I had broken up with him and I just thought I owed it to her to try to make a family work. So, you know, and I didn't know anything at this point. And so anyway, you know, I got back with him and, you know, I had my daughter and just. Let's see, he's been acting kind of strange the last few weeks. I've been working a lot of hours. I'm pregnant again. We got married back in. Back in last May, so we've been married almost a year. And I've been with him since 06, so, you know, it's been a while. But anyway, I noticed that he's been kind of acting funny the last few months, but I've been working a lot of hours. I work at night, so. So I'm not there a lot. I've been working 60 hours a week trying to make ends meet because the recession kind of hit us hard. He lost his job last September and, you know, it's just been hard. So anyway, I wasn't there a lot. Left my daughter with him, thinking she was safe at night, went off to work. And he told me he got this great new job doing cable and that he was going to be starting soon. This was like a couple months ago. And so, you know, he. Every time I come home in the morning, he would leave and I would think that he was going to his job, his new job that he was training to do. And he would take money out of the account here and there saying, oh, I need to buy a tool for my work. Oh, I need to purchase this. Oh, I just needed so much money for work. And, you know, so I didn't think anything of it. And one day he just didn't come home. And that was the 16th, about two Fridays ago. And, you know, I just. I was wondering where the hell he was. Yeah, sorry, sorry. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that on the radio. But anyway, I was just wondering where he was. Didn't come home. Nobody I. Nobody called me. Nobody, you know, text me, nothing. And I finally panicked and called a friend of ours, like, right before I had to go to work that night because he was supposed to watch my daughter. And I went over there and nobody knew where he was. And that night I found out Friday night that he was from the news. Fox 5 News. He had bound and gagged a woman in her home. Oh, my God. At gunpoint. With stolen weapons. No, with crystal meth, cocaine, marijuana on him. Apparently her son owed him drug money. Her son was only 17 years old with another one. He was caught with a girl with him, and he had stolen weapons in the car. I mean, just completely. He had been trafficking drugs. What I found out from later, he cheated on me with at least 10 different women dating back to 2007. I had no idea. I mean, his parents have told me things. I mean, I'm just like, why is everybody coming out now saying these things? They made me look like a fool for so long. And I've known for a while that something was up. I just didn't know what. And a few months ago, I had contemplating divorce because things have just gotten back. He was verbally abusive to me. You know, just my opinion didn't matter. I felt like it didn't matter, but I didn't really have a good reason other than the fact that we just didn't get along, you know, I mean, I just. And I really feel good about myself, you know, so abusive parents, too. And I just didn't really feel very good about myself my whole life. So, you know, I guess I was attracted to, like, a little bad boy who told me what I wanted to hear. And, you know, it's just. Yeah, I found all this out and, like, physically got sick because I was wondering, what in the heck has my daughter been around?

[F]

Right. Well, I want. I actually want to go to the moment that you're watching Fox 5. Like, you were home and you're in your house and you were just kind of casually watching the news.

[C]

Well, I had gotten wind from a friend when I dropped my daughter off that he might be in jail. And I said, for what? And then they said, well, apparently it's coming on Fox or something. Somebody had tipped somebody off. I don't know how they knew, but I turned on the news and there it was. Wow.

[D]

So you're sitting there. I mean, I think Melissa. What Melissa's trying to get at is pretty amazing. So you're sitting there and you're watching television, and you must have just broke down crying like this.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I got physically sick. Like, I threw up, actually. Like, I mean, I could not handle it. I mean, I'm 20 weeks pregnant, you know, with my second child. Got physically sick. You know, his friends are calling me up in the next day telling me, oh, yeah, he's been cheating on you. On top of that, I'm worried about my health. You know, I'm like, oh, my God, he exposed me and my own child to diseases. You know, I mean, I'm an. I'm an rn, you Know, that's what you think about. And then I just couldn't handle the fact that my daughter wasn't safe. I mean, you know, I just. I just thought that I was just leaving. I mean, he had the face of my husband, the name of my husband, but nothing like I thought he was. I mean, I knew he was like, you know, he had had a past with drugs and stuff in high school, but I thought that was over, you know, and I thought he had, you know, straightened his life out.

[G]

But did anybody in his life know who he was?

[C]

Yes.

[F]

Who?

[C]

Yeah, his friends have been telling me things all now that, you know, everything's come out. They said, oh, yeah, he was over here this day doing this and this and this. When he told you he was at work, like, why are you telling me this now? Why didn't. Why did you let this go this far? Like, you know, I'm so mad at everybody. Like, I bet. And I'm out of myself because I put up with this for so long, and I just wanted to come on and say that if somebody out there is wondering if they should get out of a relationship, that's not good for them. Nobody liked my husband. None of my friends did. My mother didn't. My family didn't. My sister didn't. Nobody liked them. And I just thought, you know, oh, they just don't like him, you know, just because he's different, you know, because he was from the country, you know, and he was raised differently than me. And, you know, I mean, I just thought that, oh, they just didn't like him because of that, you know, But, I mean, deep in my heart, I knew always that I wasn't quite happy, but I think I just wanted the relationship to work so much. And as screwed up as I found,

[D]

you know that movie the Sixth Sense, where you see the very last scene and then all of a sudden, everything in the whole movie makes sense to you?

[E]

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[D]

Has it been like that for you the last couple of weeks? Now that you know what he's really like in this other life? Are you putting everything.

[C]

Like, all Hindsight is always 2020 and, like, I mean, all the signs, like, were there along the way that I just decided to just not go with my gut and just. Oh, he's. It's easy to come up with excuses when you're in it, you know, and, oh, he's just doing this. Oh, you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, you know, and then I Mean, at this point, it's just like, oh, my gosh. I mean, I'm just so glad nobody got hurt. Like, I mean, I just. Oh, I'm so glad, like, everybody's okay. But it just. It just really has rocked my world for the last 10 days.

[G]

I would imagine, as a nurse, though, you could recognize if somebody was on drugs. Was he on drug? Now that you look back, was he on drugs this whole time?

[C]

I have no idea. I don't know. You know, he had been acting. The last probably two weeks, he's been acting like he just real distant. So I would say that if I had any inkling that he was on anything, it was really hitting him hard the last couple weeks. But I had no clue at all. I mean, you would think that I would recognize that, but I've never really been around that kind of stuff, so, I mean, I guess I'm just pretty naive to it. He knows that. He knows he can take advantage of me. And I just thought I was working a lot of hours. I hadn't really spent a lot of time with him, and I just thought it was just that, you know, and he was working hard and, you know, he drained my bank account the day that he got arrested. And he's in with $20 to take care of me and my daughter for two weeks because I didn't get paid for two weeks.

[G]

Are you okay? I mean, do you need help?

[C]

Oh, no. My relatives have come through for me and gave me money, and I actually moved out of my house because I didn't know if he owed anybody else money. I didn't know who knew where I lived. And so I, like, just picked up my stuff and left because I was so afraid for my life and my daughter. I mean, cars have been coming by my house, slowing down and then, you know, speeding off. I mean, it just really has freaked me out. And the police won't help me because they. They said it's an ongoing investigation. And they don't really. I mean, that nobody's come and talk to me or anything, but.

[D]

So he's in jail now, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They denied him bonds and everything. And I'm glad because I don't. He's where he belongs. I mean, so he can't hurt anybody else and he can't come and hurt us.

[D]

Man, for you, I mean, your whole life changes in one day, in one news report. Everything that you know is different.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I've been going through anger, crying, growing up physically, you know, distress manifesting itself physically. I mean, I just shaking, can't deal with things, then just going back to being mad. I mean, it's just been a roller coaster. But I've got some really good people around me. And you know, my mom, the one thing she said to me was, you deserve everything you're getting because you've put up with him for so long.

[D]

Oh, I don't think. Yeah, that's not.

[C]

I mean, I don't expect people to feel sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for myself, But I don't think anybody deserves it.

[F]

Well, she. Nobody deserves it. But she probably was just frustrated because she had been trying to tell you for so long.

[C]

Yeah. Like, when I was about a year and a half old, she left my dad because he was into drugs and alcohol and while he killed somebody and went to jail.

[G]

Oh, geez.

[C]

So, I mean, she's just said, you didn't learn from me, so I don't have any sympathy for you.

[D]

It's just keep on company. Well, thank you for sharing your story here. And if you're listening to this, I mean, the reason why we're putting Ashley on here, she's telling you, look, follow your gut here. She was getting those little messages in the back of her head all the time, and she was ignoring them. And then she wakes up one morning and finds out that her husband is a drug dealer and basically kidnapped a woman.

[A]

Insane.

[E]

And also, keep this in mind. If you're running after the MARTA and you miss it by a minute and a half, your day really isn't that bad. Another bus is gonna come along in 10 minutes. At least your significant other isn't in jail for bounding and gagging so many.

[D]

Hey, Ashley, give us a call if you need anything over the next couple of months or whatever. Okay?

[C]

Thanks, guys. Love you.

[D]

All right. Thanks for telling the story. Bye. Bye. Unbelievable, huh?

[F]

Wild.

[G]

It just reminds you you never know what somebody's going through. Somebody cuts you off in traffic, somebody's in a bad mood at the grocery store. Somebody's looking disheveled, having a bad, like, you just don't know what's going on in people's lives.

[D]

Why is that woman being such a bitch?

[G]

Right.

[D]

Well, she just found out her husband is a drug dealer for the last five years.

[B]

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