Vault: She's not used to checking in with her parents

Summary

The Bert Show “Vault: She's Not Used to Checking in with Her Parents” (July 29, 2026)

Main Theme:
This episode focuses on producer Joanna’s experience moving back in with her parents at age 26 due to financial pressure caused by the recession. The conversation explores how family dynamics shift, especially around independence, privacy, and the expectations parents hold for their adult children. The panel offers real talk and relatable humor about generational norms and adapting to unexpected life changes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Joanna Moves Back Home Due to the Recession

• Joanna explains she moved back with her parents for financial reasons:
  • “I think we have had this conversation before. It was, like, right when I was making the decision to move back home with my parents, because financially, I cannot afford to live on my own.” (C, 00:20)
  • She had tried the roommate route but found it unsustainable: “I was, like, constantly having to find a new roommate every year. So I decided, you know what? I’m going to rent my house and move back home…” (C, 00:27)
• She is 26 and feels self-conscious about her situation:
  • “Yes, that was a. I shouldn’t be in this position at 26. You know, maybe if I was 23, just out of college…” (C, 00:53)

2. Social Stigma and the Changing Economy

• The group reflects on how the recession has altered previously accepted norms, making moving back in more common and necessary for some:
  • “The recession is not being prejudiced against one, you know, gender or one income level or another. And so you have to do what you have to do to survive, you know?” (D, 01:38)

3. Living at Home as an Adult—Changing Family Dynamics

• Joanna describes limited interaction with her parents due to different schedules, but a key incident created tension:
  • She left for the weekend to visit her fiancé Jason without informing her parents. After she failed to answer her phone, her mother called Jason, worried:
    • “She was calling. She was like, where’s Joanna?...Next time she needs to call me, because I don’t know where she is, and I worry about her. I just love her so much.” (C, 03:07)
• Joanna’s frustration:
  • “I am 26. Like, I don’t know, have to tell you where I’m going or what I’m doing. ...I had to calm down before I called her back because I was so pissed off about it.” (C, 03:44)
  • She admits to understanding her mom’s worry but struggles to adjust to this new arrangement.

4. Rules and Expectations—Who Needs to Check In?

• The panel discusses how expectations shift when an adult child moves back home:
  • “So the rules have changed since you’ve moved back home?” (D, 04:15)
  • Joanna confirms: “Yes.” (C, 04:16)
• Others note that communication is a sign of respect and safety, regardless of age:
  • Michelle, a caller: “I’m 50 years old and I still tell a family member when I’m leaving town…If you disappear for a weekend or you disappear for a week, somebody should know where you are.” (E, 05:58-06:27)
• The hosts reflect that this expectation is about care, not control.

5. Shifting Household Norms

• The group discusses “adult” rules at home and managing boundaries:
  • “If the child is moving back in, then you can’t be their parent, you know, like you were when they were a teenager anymore.” (D, 06:29)
  • Moving back doesn’t mean reverting to old parent-child roles.
• It’s a temporary situation, and tolerance is required on all sides:
  • “I think it’s short term. I think you’ve got to just like hang out and deal with it for a little while until you get married.” (F, 07:09)

6. Relatable Experiences and Solution-Oriented Humor

• Callers and cohosts share similar stories and humorous coping suggestions:
  • Rosemary: “I’m gonna be 26 and I moved home with my parents too…No shame at all.” (E, 05:09)
  • The hosts joke about switching parents to escape the problem.

7. Concluding Reflections

• The crew frames checking in as a sign of respect and changing relationships:
  • “I think when Mother’s Day rolls around, you need to gift wrap your mom some respect.” (A, 08:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I shouldn’t be in this position at 26. You know, maybe if I was 23, just out of college.” (Joanna, 00:53)
• “The recession…you have to do what you have to do to survive, you know?” (D, 01:38)
• “She was calling. She was like, where’s Joanna?...Next time she needs to call me, because I don’t know where she is, and I worry about her. I just love her so much.” (Joanna’s mom, recounted by Joanna, 03:07)
• “I am 26. Like, I don’t know, have to tell you where I’m going or what I’m doing.” (Joanna, 03:44)
• “I’m 50 years old and I still tell a family member when I’m leaving town...” (Michelle, call-in, 05:58)
• “If the child is moving back in, then you can’t be their parent, you know, like you were when they were a teenager anymore.” (D, 06:29)
• “I think it’s short term. I think you’ve got to just like hang out and deal with it for a little while until you get married.” (F, 07:09)
• “I think when Mother’s Day rolls around, you need to gift wrap your mom some respect.” (A, 08:07)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:20–01:06: Joanna discusses moving home and the stigma of doing so at 26
• 01:34–01:38: Panel reflects on recession-driven returns to the family home
• 02:54–03:44: Joanna shares the conflict with her mom over not checking in
• 04:15–04:16: Rules and expectations for adults living at home
• 05:09–05:27: Caller Rosemary's story; destigmatizing the move home
• 05:58–06:27: Caller Michelle on always letting family know your whereabouts
• 06:29–07:09: Balancing roles and boundaries when adult children return home
• 07:09–07:34: Panel reassures Joanna this scenario is temporary
• 08:07: Final quip about giving “respect” for Mother’s Day

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Summary Takeaway

This lively, candid episode delves into how recession-era economics have forced even accomplished, independent adults to revisit their living arrangements—and the sometimes awkward, often humorous negotiation of privacy, care, and boundaries that follows. The cast and callers highlight that checking in is more about love than limitation and that adaptation (with a sense of humor!) is key.

Transcript

[A]

The Bird Show.

[B]

Here is producer Joanna.

[C]

Hi, everyone. How are you guys doing?

[B]

As soon as I turn her mic on, Sickening.

[A]

Myers over. Joanna gets no respect.

[B]

We've had this talk on the air before. Not with Joanna, but the recession, man, is making you do things right now that you normally would not do.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

And adjusts in a way that you normally would not have to adjust. And Joanna's right in the thick of it right now.

[C]

I am. And I think we have had this conversation before. It was, like, right when I was making the decision to move back home with my parents, because financially, I cannot afford to live on my own. And, yeah, I had the roommate for a while, but I was, like, constantly having to find a new roommate every year. So I decided, you know what? I'm going to rent my house and I'm going to move back home with my parents for the time being.

[B]

You're how old?

[C]

I'm 26.

[B]

I'll say it like that.

[A]

She say it like somebody punched her in the chest?

[D]

No, I think she thinks I should be financially secure by 26. Is that what that was from?

[C]

Yes, that was a. I shouldn't be in this position at 26. You know, maybe if I was 23, just out of college.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Move back home for a little while. You know, figure out life. I should have life figured out at 26. Somewhat.

[B]

But recession's changed everything.

[A]

Well, you did. I think you've done a good job. I think you've got it figured out. You're about to marry a guy who's going to Emory. Like, you're pretty set.

[B]

You're good.

[C]

I'm waiting for him to get his MBA so that I can just sit at home.

[A]

So you can get your Mrs. He gets his mba, you get your Mrs. Everybody's happy.

[C]

I'm pretending to be ambitious. So he's like, oh, baby, you're just ambitious. If you want to stay at home for a little while, fine.

[B]

But the recession really has changed everything. Like Melissa's stance on the whole thing. Because you know how Melissa loves consistency.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

Is that, you know, once you leave, bye, bye, that's it, there's no coming back.

[D]

But, yeah, well, during a recession, no. I mean, all bets are off. I mean, my sister is laid off in having to find a job. And so. And I have several friends who are trying to find a job. I mean, and so it's all ages, it's all backgrounds. It's, you know, the recession is not being prejudiced against one, you know, gender or one income level or another. And so you have to do what you have to do to survive, you know?

[C]

Well, and so that's what I did. I had to move back home. I moved back in January, and I. It's been fine. You know, my parents don't really bother me. We barely see each other, really, because our schedules are so different. And I probably see them just in passing sometimes. But last week, they did something that I made me realize that I need to either get a third job or just, you know, figure something out, because I don't know how much longer I can put up with this, especially. Especially if Jason and I aren't gonna live together until we're married. So I sometimes. Occasionally I go to Columbus to see Jason on the weekends. My fiance, he lives two hours from here, so that's the only time we see each other, is on the weekends. I've never had to tell anybody where I'm going or what I'm doing. So I just packed my things that morning and left and went to Columbus. Got there, and I was so exhausted that day. When I got to his house, I fell asleep.

[A]

Is this on a Friday?

[C]

This was on a Friday.

[A]

You did the show then. You didn't work your other job?

[C]

No, I went straight to Columbus.

[A]

So you were there by what time?

[C]

I was there at, like, 2.

[A]

You left this house at what time?

[C]

I left the house at five in the morning.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So fell asleep and didn't, you know, didn't think much of it. Well, all of a sudden, my phone just starts to blow up, and I didn't answer because I was asleep. Then Jason's phone starts to blow up, and he. After maybe the fourth or fifth time someone called, he. He answered. And I heard him in the other room, and it was my mom, and she was calling. She was like, where's Joanna? She didn't call me, and I'm worried about her. And he's, like, telling her, like, whoa, sorry. You know, she's here. And she's like, well, next time she needs to call me, because I don't know where she is, and I worry about her. I just love her so much.

[B]

Is that your mom's accent right there

[E]

that she put on?

[B]

Yeah, I love it. Yeah.

[C]

And I just get so mad because I was like, I am 26. Like, I don't know, have to tell you where I'm going or what I'm doing. And so she. And I. And I had to calm down before I called her back because I was so pissed off about it. But then I Realized she's still my mom. She still worries about me.

[D]

You've talked, I mean, before you had to move back in with your parents, you had talked before about, you know, Jason being in Columbus and you going down there often. So in the times in the past that you've gone to see him, have you called them and told them where you're going and I'm leaving and I'll call you when I get down there and all that? So the rules have changed since you've moved back home?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah, I think that's okay, though, is the case.

[A]

Did you inadvertently tell them, like you would say, jason and I are going out in Columbus this weekend, or without realizing it, that you communicated to them. So your expectation is, well, they know I go to Columbus after I work on the bird show every Friday. It's what I do. And their expectation is you've told them every week before.

[E]

Right.

[C]

Well, the thing is, it's not consistent. It's not every Friday. It's like sometime he comes to Columbus and sometimes they'll ask me like, oh, is Jason coming up this weekend? Or things like that. And I guess I just. It slipped my mind and I just. It irritates me. And then, you know, now every time I go somewhere, my mom's calling me now, and she's like, hey, are you coming home to have dinner? And it's weird because I'm like, I shouldn't be going through this. I think your parents now know your schedule, though, so when you're not there, they're gonna obviously get worried about you, like a roommate would.

[B]

Here's Rosemary. Good morning, Rosemary. You're on Q100.

[E]

Hi. I was just gonna tell you that I'm gonna be 26 and I moved home with my parents too. I work full time, I'm in school full time. So there's no shame at all.

[B]

We can take these calls for the next two hours.

[A]

I think the answer is, I think Rosemary and Joanna talked. I think Rosemary moves into your parents house and you move into Rosemary's parents house. Then they don't really care.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

They totally won't care.

[D]

But the thing is, your parents haven't done this, right?

[C]

No, this is not their usual life. No, they've never done. I mean, I've lived on my own since I was 19 years old. I showed up at the house with a U Haul truck, put all my stuff in the U Haul and moved out and I never came home until January of this year.

[B]

Were y' all cocky too, about it at 19. I am never coming back here.

[C]

No, I'm not under your.

[D]

I'm not under your rape and your control anymore. You can't tell me what's there.

[E]

Shut up on me all the time.

[B]

Hey, Michelle, good morning. You're on the bird show.

[E]

Good morning. I'm 50 years old and I still tell a family member when I'm leaving town.

[B]

Really?

[E]

Or when I'm going someplace. And I have a 23 year old who lives on her own. And if she goes out of town, she calls me. Not because she has to, but because she needs to have somebody know where she is. And then that way when I'm trying to reach her, I know that she's safe. I know she's someplace where she's supposed to be. If you disappear for a weekend or you disappear for a week, somebody should know where you are.

[B]

You just got chewed up by your mind.

[D]

But the thing is, it's a change in behavior. We've talked before about moving back in at home. And my argument in the past, when it's not in recession and when the recession's over, I'll be right back in the same place, is that if you move back in home, it's your responsibility to take care of your stuff around the house. Like there's some people that non recession that would move back in home and expect foods to be cooked for them, their laundry be done for them and all this stuff. But on the same token, your parents, you also have to know that if the child is moving back in, then you can't be their parent, you know, like you were when they were a teenager anymore. You have to kind of hold yourself back. So I think, I mean, I think as we're saying, this is a change in behavior. This is not, you know, a common thing that her mom has done.

[F]

And I think it's short term. I think you've got to just like hang out and deal with it for a little while until you get married. I don't think that they'll do that.

[B]

It's only four times when you get

[F]

married and when you live with your husband, they're gonna be sticking out for you.

[C]

I know.

[F]

And that he's checking on you and that he's gonna be the one that's worried about you and knows your whereabouts and all that kind of stuff. I don't think it's gonna continue when you move out and are married with your husband. It's only gonna be this short period of time.

[C]

Right. And I don't think so either. It's just the fact that this is gonna start happening and that I am like, I'm going to New York next week. I'm gonna have to tell them, oh, I'm leaving for New York, you know, like what'? I think had the answer to any little girl.

[A]

Yeah, but wouldn't you have the same conversation? Like, when I'm traveling, like, I still tell my parents not out of they need to know where I am.

[E]

I do, too.

[A]

But if I'm having a conversation with my parents.

[B]

Do you, Melissa?

[D]

I do, but I keep reiterating this is a change in behavior. Like, this is not Joanna and her mother's relationship up to this point. She hasn't been telling her every time she goes out of town. I do.

[A]

I think when Mother's Day rolls around, you need to gift wrap your mom some respect. The Burt show.