Vault: She's stuck in her sisters' shadows Part 1

Summary

The Bert Show — “Vault: She’s Stuck in Her Sisters’ Shadows, Part 1”

Date: July 24, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Intern Lauren, Bretzky
Episode Theme: Exploring family dynamics and feelings of favoritism, specifically through the eyes of Intern Lauren, who feels overshadowed by her sisters in her relationship with her father.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the complexities of parent-child relationships, focusing on themes of perceived favoritism and emotional distance. Intern Lauren opens up about feeling less favored by her father compared to her older sisters, sparking a panel discussion and listener calls around similar experiences. The group candidly discusses differences in parental bonds, the evolution of these relationships into adulthood, and how love can be “customized” for each child.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intern Lauren’s Family Dynamics

• Lauren describes her relationship with her parents:
  • Feels much closer to her mom, who is more like a friend:
    “I kind of see my mom as more than a friend than a mom.” — Intern Lauren [01:40]
  • Her dad is more reserved, leading to a distant relationship: “My dad is a shy type of guy, so he doesn’t really share stuff with me, so I don’t really share stuff with him in return.” — Intern Lauren [01:45]
• Perceived favoritism towards her sisters:
  • Noticed her dad lights up when seeing her sisters, particularly the one who lives out of town, sparking feelings of being overlooked. “I live at home, and you don’t get that excited when you talk to me or see me.” — Intern Lauren [02:17]

2. The Psychology of Parental Favorites

• Panelists examine the notion of favorites:
  • Host shares experience with past callers admitting to having a “favorite child” but generally doubts most parents consciously do this [02:57].
  • Lauren admits her mom jokes about favorites, but she and her siblings usually chalk it up to personality matches [03:11].
• Discussion on communication styles and similarity:
  • Conversation pivots to whether parents gravitate more toward children who remind them of themselves or their partners [02:44].
  • Panelists note that adult relationships with parents can differ based on personality and shared interests [03:28, 06:11].

3. Impact of Living Situation and Life Stages

• Listeners call in to share perspectives:
  • Heather shares a similar story: Her mom clings to her younger sister still at home due to “empty nest” feelings. “I kind of try to put a positive spin on it … a way for my mom to deal with empty nest … she just wants to pay as much attention as she can.” — Heather [05:32]
• Panelists offer perspective on changes as children move out:
  • “Once you leave the house, your dad and you may have that kind of relationship … it might change the dynamic.” — Panelist [06:11]

4. Host's Personal Reflection

• Host discusses relating differently to his own kids:
  • “I’m gonna be interested more in stuff that [my son] Hollis is into — sports and stuff like that. … My kid Hayden is into the arts … I compensate more for Hayden, knowing I naturally have more in common with Hollis.” — Host [06:25]
  • The group jokes about kids perceiving favoritism even when parents try to balance relationships [06:50].

5. Listener Valerie’s Insight on “Customized Love”

• Valerie calls in as a mom of three:
  • “You have to customize your love to each child, because they are different. … So it’s not that your parent loves this one over this one. You just have a different customized love from that parent.” — Valerie [07:32]
  • The panel agrees, finding comfort in this notion.
    “I want my parents to say that to me, ‘I customize love you!’” — Panelist [08:04]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote & Context | |-----------|------------------------|---------------------------------------------------| | 01:40 | Intern Lauren | “I kind of see my mom as more than a friend than a mom.” | | 02:17 | Intern Lauren | “I live at home, and you don’t get that excited when you talk to me or see me.” | | 03:11 | Intern Lauren | “They joke about it. Like, my mom’s like, ‘Oh, you know, you’re my favorite.’” | | 03:28 | Co-host | “Wouldn’t it be natural for you to communicate better with one [child] over the other?” | | 05:32 | Heather (Caller) | “A way for my mom to deal with empty nest … she just wants to pay as much attention as she can.” | | 06:25 | Host | “I compensate more for Hayden, knowing that naturally I have more in common with Hollis.” | | 07:32 | Valerie (Caller) | “You have to customize your love to each child, because they are different.” | | 08:04 | Co-host | “I want my parents to say that to me, ‘I customize love you!’” |

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Important Segments with Timestamps

• [01:17] — Introduction of Intern Lauren’s story
• [01:40-03:11] — Lauren discusses her relationships and feelings of favoritism
• [03:28] — Panel reflects on how personality impacts parental closeness
• [05:26-06:11] — Listeners Heather and panelists weigh in on “empty nest” and changing family dynamics
• [06:25-06:59] — Host relates his own family experience with his children’s differing interests
• [07:32-08:04] — Valerie shares concept of “customized love” for each child

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Takeaways

• Parental relationships often differ between siblings due to personality, shared interests, and changing circumstances like “empty nest syndrome.”
• Feelings of favoritism can have a lasting emotional impact, but are often more complex than they seem.
• The “customized love” idea resonated deeply with the hosts and listeners, suggesting a way for parents to communicate care tailored to each child’s needs.

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Tone & Style

Authentic, vulnerable, and interspersed with wit, self-awareness, and light-hearted jokes. The show’s signature balance of real talk and encouragement was present throughout, offering listeners both empathy and practical wisdom.

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Note: This summary covers all key content while skipping ad reads and promotional segments.

Transcript

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[Host (possibly Burt)]

So normally what we do is we have our interns send us a couple of things that are going on in their lives and we'll focus on one, you know, probably per week. Right. But intern Lauren here, I think has two that go hand in hand with each other.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

And the first one had to do with her parents and their attitudes towards her. She really, she was getting real real with this email.

[Intern Lauren]

Right. Well, I'm the youngest and I feel like my mom always gravitates towards me. I don't know if it's because I'm the youngest or because I do tell her a lot of stuff, basically everything in my life. And I don't know, I kind of see my mom as more than a friend than a mom. So then when I have my relationship with my dad, I just feel like he's kind of jealous about that. I mean, I don't know if he is or not, but my dad is a shy type of guy, so he doesn't really share stuff with me, so I don't really share stuff with him in return. And I just feel like we have a. Not an awkward relationship, but a different relationship than I do with my mom.

[Co-host or Panelist]

And you were saying that you feel like your dad favors your older sisters?

[Intern Lauren]

Yes, it's like my sister. One of my sisters, Liz, M.O. and the other one lives here in Atlanta. And every time she comes over to visit, he, like, it's so excited. I'm like, I live at home, and you don't get that excited when you talk to me or see me. And it's just. His face just lights up. He's like, oh, yeah, she's coming over. I'm like, cool.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah.

[Panelist or Guest]

I think that could be in part because your sister's away and he doesn't see her that often. Whereas he would see you every day,

[Bretzky]

because every single day you are.

[Intern Lauren]

He actually works with her, too, so he does see her every day.

[Panelist or Guest]

Oh.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I'm always curious, like, do you personality wise and looks wise? Who are you more like?

[Intern Lauren]

I would say my mom. People always say I look like her.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Okay. Because I just didn't know if parents gravitate toward children that remind them of them or remind them of their partners.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

We've taken calls before from people that will go on the Voice Disguiser and confess that they have a favorite. Like a favorite child. Yeah. But I think, for the most part, I don't know that that's true or not. I don't think that's true.

[Intern Lauren]

I don't know. I mean, they joke about it. Like, my mom's like, oh, you know, you're my favorite. But then she's like, I love all my kids equally. I'm like, yeah, I know you do. And my dad, the same way. He's like, no, I would never say that anyone's my favorite. But you can totally tell that his face just, like, lights up when he sees both my sisters.

[Co-host or Panelist]

It may not be a favorite, but as adults, when you have adult children, there's. I'm. I mean, wouldn't it be natural for you to be able to communicate better with one over the other? You know, if they're all different personalities,

[Intern Lauren]

well, then I also was thinking that maybe they have more in common. Cause they work together and whatnot. But, I mean, I still talk to him about certain stuff, and he's just like, oh, cool.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Hurts your feelings, huh? Like you look at the brink of tears.

[Intern Lauren]

I mean, I don't know. I just wish that I was more. I was closer with him too, as well. Not just singling out one parent versus the other.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Do you see Lauren?

[Intern Lauren]

But you see that you're hearing Hayden

[Bretzky]

talking to you about Hollis.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Is that what's happening right now?

[Panelist or Guest]

Have you tried to open up to your dad before about the things that you usually talk to your mom about?

[Intern Lauren]

Yeah, like when he had his heart surgery, we were becoming close because he was at home, so I would, like, help him out. But other than that, I mean, it's still been the same. Like, I'm just like, hey, what's up? And he's like, hey. So it's nothing really.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Do you think if you asked your sister. Because we went through this with Wendy also, do you think if you asked your sister who your dad favors, do you think she'd immediately say me, or do you think she'd say you?

[Intern Lauren]

No, they would totally say them. And they're like, well, mom gravitates towards you. Like, it's always like this little jokey thing. But still, like, when I think about it, I'm like, I mean, that's. I mean, it's kind of awful.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, I mean, it is. I don't know what else to say. You don't, you know that you don't have the same. I think it's okay not to have the same relationship, but the fact that you feel like you're only close to your mom and your dad sort of isn't interested in you, like, that's.

[Intern Lauren]

I mean, I did.

[Co-host or Panelist]

That's a bummer. I don't know what else to say that would make you feel bummy. That sucks for you.

[Intern Lauren]

I mean, it's not. I'm not like totally emotional about it, but I just. The more I think about it, I'm like, well, my mom's kind of like a really good friend of mine, and my dad's just, hey, what's up, guys?

[Co-host or Panelist]

I mean. But usually don't talk that much, do they? Mine didn't talk about personal things that often.

[Panelist or Guest]

Yeah. Depending on if it's a Southern dad. I would never share the things that I share with my mom with my dad. Sort of that closed off relationship that it's supposed to be. And that's just how it is.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Here's Heather. Hey, Heather. Good morning. You're part of the Burt Show.

[Heather]

Good morning, guys. Hey, I was just thinking about. This is kind of the same in my family, too. Not to a certain extent, but my mom is so much closer to my little sister. They are friends, they are buddies, they do this together, they know this about each other's lives. And I'm closer to my dad. I don't think it's, you know, to an extreme where my dad just kind of blows off my little sister or that my mom doesn't pay any attention to me. But I think my mom's really suffering with, like, the whole empty Nest thing. So she's clinging to my little sister as much as she can to be buddies and to be friends kind of keep her around longer. So I kind of try to put a positive spin on it that it's, you know, a way for my mom to deal with empty nest, as opposed. Because I've been gone for years. So my sister still being around, she's just want to pay as much attention as she can. Cause, you know, she's the last one in the house.

[Panelist or Guest]

And I think once you leave the house, your dad and you may have that kind of relationship, because he does see you every day. He kind of still supports you as the kid of the house. So I think when you move on and get your own place and your own life together, it might change the dynamic. That's how it was in my family.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

It can. It can go the other way. Also, like with Hollis, I can tell that he is more like me in that I'm gonna be interested more in stuff that he's into, sports and stuff like that. And my kid Hayden, is into the arts, and I'm really not all that into it. But I feel like I compensate more for Hayden, knowing that naturally I have more in common with Hollis. Does that make any sense?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, he does overcompensate the other way.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

Yeah, he'd compensate the other way. So Hollis is probably gonna grow up.

[Bretzky]

Oh, dad like Hayden way better.

[Host (possibly Burt)]

It's really not. It's just that I think I'm compensating because I'm just more connected with his interests than I am with Hayden's.

[Co-host or Panelist]

And I think you can't. You can't dismiss personalities. I mean, my mother. I would say that my mother and I are closer. And my sister and my father were closer. My brother gets along with everybody. And I think that's personality, because we're opposites. Like, my sister and my mother are very much alike, and my father and I were very much alike. So we just kind of gravitated to, you know, naturally, it wasn't. I don't think it was a purposeful thing on either one of their parts. But my father, my sister certainly did more solo things together. And same with me and my mom. And it's just, you know, because we're opposites.

[Intern Lauren]

Right?

[Host (possibly Burt)]

You know. Hey, Valerie. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[Valerie]

Hey. I just wanted to state that I have three children. And as a child, I always wondered how parents, they say, oh, I don't love you more. I don't love him more. But with three children I notice that each of your children are different and you have to customize your love to each child because they are different. They have different needs, they have different personalities and you have that customized love for each one of your children. So it's not that your parent loves this one over this one. You just have a different customized love from that parent.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I think that's a great point. I want my parents to say that to me. You know what? I customize. Love u right

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[Bretzky]

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