Vault: Shirtless husband helps with her lactation process.

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Shirtless Husband Helps with Her Lactation Process"

Air Date: June 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and candid segment, The Bert Show cast dives into a hilarious and somewhat bewildering story recounted by the main storyteller about a shirtless husband’s involvement in his wife’s breastfeeding process at the advice of a hospital staff member. The team unpacks the tale’s absurdity, discusses the real role of lactation specialists, and debates the possibility of male lactation, all while maintaining the show’s signature blend of humor and authenticity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Shirtless Husband Story

• [01:00–03:00]

  • The main storyteller describes meeting a show listener at Taco Mac who shared a wild story about his experience at the hospital after the birth of his child.

  • The conversation turns to newborns, breastfeeding, and the role of lactation specialists.

  • The listener recounts how, during their hospital stay, a lactation consultant tried to involve him (the dad) in the process, leading to him being shirtless in the hospital room, holding the baby to support his wife’s comfort during her own breastfeeding process.

    "Dad is naked from the waist up, standing in the delivery room or in the hospital room holding the baby with no shirt on just to make the mom feel more comfortable about the whole process."
    — Main Storyteller [02:37]

2. The Team's Skepticism

• [03:00–03:32]

  • The cast jokes that perhaps the nurse was “jacking with him” either as a practical joke or a playful retaliation if the patient had been particularly difficult or condescending.

  • They speculate about the motives behind the story, questioning whether this is actually standard hospital practice.

    “That’s one of those things that, you know, like maybe you get this guy back. Retaliation.”
    — Commentator 2 [03:06]

3. Can Men Actually Lactate?

• [03:24–03:52]

  • A surprising side conversation emerges about whether it’s technically possible for men to breastfeed. One commentator claims to have read that it’s biologically possible, though not common.

    "I thought what you were going to say is that it is possible for a man to breastfeed. Which I have read it is."
    — Commentator [03:24]

    “Try it enough or something. I think it is possible for a man to breastfeed, to lactate.”
    — Commentator [03:45]

  • The group is skeptical but amused, and quickly clarifies that they aren’t offering medical advice.

    “But I think, look into it. I think it is humanly possible…”
    — Commentator [03:58]

4. Outlandish Scenarios & Further Laughter

• [04:01–04:50]

  • The host jokes about the aftermath (“Guy emails Tracy in six weeks and is like, look how chafed my nipples are.”)

  • Listeners and commentators have a laugh about what it would be like for a woman to come home and catch her partner attempting to breastfeed, and the scenario of the nurse potentially taking photos.

  • The main storyteller explains the original reason for the discussion—offering a warning to friends with pregnant partners not to fall for such practical jokes.

    "Make sure you let him know that he doesn't have to take your shirt off in the delivery room."
    — Main Storyteller [04:41]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dad’s Shirtless Moment:

  "Dad is naked from the waist up, standing in the delivery room or in the hospital room holding the baby with no shirt on just to make the mom feel more comfortable about the whole process."
  — Main Storyteller [02:37]

• Skepticism on Nurse's Motives:

  “Because that's one of those things that, you know, like maybe you get this guy back. Retaliation.”
  — Commentator 2 [03:06]

• On Male Breastfeeding:

  "I thought what you were going to say is that it is possible for a man to breastfeed. Which I have read it is."
  — Commentator [03:24]
  “Try it enough... I think it is possible for a man to breastfeed, to lactate.”
  — Commentator [03:45]

• Imagining the Aftermath:

  "Look how chafed my nipples are."
  — Main Storyteller (joking as a hypothetical email) [04:01]

• On the Possibility of a Handsome Dad:

  "Because then like, what if the nurse just wanted to see him with his shirt off?"
  — Commentator [04:54]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:00 – 02:37 | Main storyteller begins the recounting of the shirtless husband story
• 02:37 – 03:17 | Speculation about the nurse’s motives and practical jokes
• 03:24 – 03:58 | Discussion on the (remote) possibility of male lactation
• 04:01 – 04:50 | Joking about consequences and sharing the story as a warning for others

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Summary

This episode embodies The Bert Show’s appeal: turning a bizarre, borderline-absurd slice of real life into a group therapy session packed with laughter, camaraderie, and relatable confusion about modern parenting. Between the group’s jokey skepticism and side tangents about male lactation, it’s a spirited reminder that, sometimes, the best tool for navigating parenthood (and wild advice from unexpected places) is a sense of humor.

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Transcript

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[Main Storyteller]

I want to tell you guys a story that and I wish Tracy was in here. Can you run somebody run and grab Tracy because she may be able to verify this or not. But I spoke to, I met a new person this weekend, Saturday night, randomly at Taco Mac, came over and started talking to us. And part of.

[Listener/Interjector]

Is it a listener or just somebody random who was sitting near you?

[Main Storyteller]

It was a listener to the show. Definitely knew about the show. But somehow we got on the subject of, oh, I know how we started talking about new babies and breastfeeding came up.

[Spinquest Announcer]

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[Main Storyteller]

And he told this story and Tracy, maybe you can verify this or you will just laugh at it.

[Commentator]

Okay.

[Main Storyteller]

Because I think the possibility exists that one of the nurses at the hospital where he had his baby was jacking with him.

[Commentator 2]

Okay.

[Main Storyteller]

Apparently when you know, when you have a baby, if you're gonna breastfeed the baby, they got that specialist who comes by.

[Commentator]

The lactation specialist?

[Main Storyteller]

Yes, that person. And is that a nurse? I'm assuming.

[Commentator]

I mean they can be, but not always.

[Main Storyteller]

Just somebody who goes to lactation school. So this person or has breastfed a

[Listener/Interjector]

lot of babies, one or the other.

[Main Storyteller]

So this person comes in the room, right. And says, is talking to the mom about how to breastfeed the baby and how to get the baby to latch on for the first time and all those important things and at some point wants to get the dad involved in the process.

[Listener/Interjector]

So, uh, oh, I'm nervous.

[Main Storyteller]

The end of the story is there's some yada yada in the middle. But at the end of the story. Dad is naked from the waist up, standing in the delivery room or in the hospital room holding the baby with no shirt on just to make the mom feel more comfortable about the whole process.

[Listener/Interjector]

Weird.

[Main Storyteller]

Jessica started, she had tears in her eyes. I think the nurse was jacking with

[Commentator 2]

this because I could see if he was like, had been kind of. I don't know, I mean, how did he treat the staff when they got there? Because that's one of those things that, you know, like maybe you get this guy back.

[Main Storyteller]

Just a pain in the ass patient or something like that.

[Commentator 2]

Retaliation.

[Listener/Interjector]

Yeah. Or condescending or something. And they were like, uh huh.

[Commentator 2]

I get you, buddy.

[Commentator]

That's weird. But I thought what you were going to say is that it is possible for a man to breastfeed. Which I have read it is.

[Listener/Interjector]

What?

[Commentator]

Yeah. How is that possible? I'm not exactly sure, but I've read it before. No, Scott wouldn't try it. But yeah, I think that if you

[Listener/Interjector]

really do it enough.

[Commentator]

Try it enough or something. I think it is possible for a man to breastfeed to lactate.

[Listener/Interjector]

Uh huh. Weird.

[Commentator]

I mean, I'm not an expert, so don't try it and then blame me.

[Listener/Interjector]

Yeah.

[Commentator]

But I think, look into it. I think it is humanly possible some

[Main Storyteller]

guy emails Tracy in six weeks and is like, look how chafed my nipples are.

[Commentator]

Or some woman who comes home to find her man doing that.

[Listener/Interjector]

Right.

[Commentator 2]

Like honey, what are you doing?

[Listener/Interjector]

So this guy had to be standing in the hospital room with his shirt off to make her more comfortable with her shirt off.

[Main Storyteller]

Apparently there's actually photographs of him doing that. Oh no, because his other buddy. His other buddy.

[Commentator 2]

Did the nurse take the pictures? Because then she's definitely jacking with him

[Main Storyteller]

because his other buddy was making fun of him for it. Because we were just talking about our friend who wasn't there, whose wife had started contractions and it's probably. If she didn't have a baby last night, it's probably today or is within 24 hours. So that's how the whole discussion of being in the hospital and everything came up. And then he said, well, make sure you let him know that he doesn't have to take your shirt off in the delivery room.

[Listener/Interjector]

And it became, oh my gosh, that is awesome.

[Commentator]

Was this guy a good looking guy?

[Main Storyteller]

Yeah, I think so.

[Commentator]

Because then like, what if the nurse just wanted to see him with his shirt off?

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