Vault: Should She Propose? Listeners Weigh In (Part 2)

Summary

---

The Bert Show: Vault - Should She Propose? Listeners Weigh In (Part 2)

Original Air Date: March 12, 2026

---

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around the ongoing story of Kimberly, a listener contemplating proposing marriage to her boyfriend in front of his family—the same day she first meets them in person. This sparks a spirited and multifaceted debate among Bert Show hosts and callers about gender roles, respect, communication, and the risks involved in proposing, especially in a potentially uncomfortable or public setting. Listeners weigh in passionately, offering their perspectives on Kimberly’s plan and the underlying relationship dynamics.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kimberly’s Plan and Mindset

• Kimberly’s Situation: She’s decided to propose to her boyfriend, despite his previous statements that he’s not interested in marriage; the proposal would happen in front of his family during her first in-person meeting with them.
• Confidence in the Relationship:
  • "I really feel with 100% certainty that he’s gonna say yes. He’s the love of my life and he’s terrific. I’m really excited." – Kimberly (01:13)
• First Family Meeting Context:
  • Although it’s the first in-person meeting, Kimberly insists she’s already close with his family through social media and phone, so she doesn't consider herself a “secret girlfriend.” (03:03)

2. Listener and Cast Reactions

• Caution and Concern:
  • Many voices express concern that Kimberly may be disregarding her boyfriend’s clearly communicated feelings about marriage, potentially setting herself up for disappointment or embarrassment.
  • “He’s telling you right now he’s not for marriage. That’s not him.” – Bert (06:06)
  • “To go into his family space and then for the first time, and then propose to him in public when he’s already told you that he’s not ready for marriage, that’s inconsiderate and kind of selfish and really, you’re gonna shoot yourself in the foot.” – Caller Sherry (02:22)
• Question of Respect and Privacy:
  • Strong opinions surface about whether Kimberly should propose in private rather than in front of the family, especially since the couple hasn’t discussed marriage or ring shopping in depth.
  • “My issue with Kimberly is in front of the family... It is such a dangerous thing and it should be a personal thing.” – Show Host (05:15)
• Gendered Double Standards:
  • The hosts examine if their advice would change if the roles were reversed and a man was proposing to a woman who didn’t want marriage; consensus is that the caution about public proposals remains. (05:15; 09:49)

3. Relationship Narratives and Wishful Thinking

• Ignoring Red Flags:
  • The hosts point out a recurring pattern where one partner assumes the other will ultimately change their mind about marriage or children.
  • “Guys tell you things... yet you don’t believe it.” – Bert (06:00)
  • “That goes back to what women change in guys. ...He just doesn’t know it yet.” – Abby (06:12)
• Real-Life Parallel:
  • Bert shares a cautionary anecdote of a friend whose wife assumed he’d change his mind about kids—ultimately resulting in divorce after unmet expectations. (06:20)

4. Kimberly’s Justification and Resolve

• Personal Motivation:
  • Kimberly clarifies she does not want a big wedding, just the marriage commitment—reiterating she’d go as simple as a courthouse wedding and would even sign a prenup for his comfort.
  • “I want a marriage, okay? ...I don’t need to have, like, a big, $30,000 wedding...” – Kimberly (08:43)
• Stakes and Readiness for Consequence:
  • Kimberly openly states she understands the risk and is willing to lose the relationship if her need for marriage and children is incompatible with her boyfriend’s stance. (04:51)
  • She plans to ask his father for permission—a gesture she finds meaningful, but not a deciding factor: “If his dad says yes, then of course I’m gonna do it... But... I’m gonna do it either way, to tell you the truth...” (08:02)

5. The Family Angle

• Potential for Embarrassment or Robbing Thunder:
  • Final commentary from the hosts questions if Kimberly’s gesture might steal her boyfriend’s “thunder” in case he ever wanted to propose, or cause embarrassment for all if the answer is no. (10:05-10:17)
  • “I have a feeling the father’s gonna say no. Come on. You know what he’s all about.” – Bert (10:17)
• Traditional vs. Modern Proposals:
  • The panel recognizes the blend of traditions in Kimberly’s approach—asking the father for permission, proposing as a woman—but cautions that public proposals are always fraught if both parties aren’t fully aligned.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kimberly’s certainty:
  • “I am positive.” (01:29)
• On being perceived as ‘crazy’:
  • “At least I found out she was crazy before I married her.” – Caller Sherry, on how her plan might backfire (02:21)
• Public vs. Private:
  • “Proposal should be in private to launch into that conversation…” – Host (05:15)
• On living personal narratives:
  • “A lot of times I think people, men and women, live their own, like, narrative... and don’t consider what the other person has for their story, you know?” – Show Host (07:05)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kimberly’s Introduction and Plan: 01:06–03:01
• First Major Listener Call (Caller Sherry’s Critique): 01:46–02:53
• Hosts Probe Deeper into the ‘Marriage Reluctance’: 03:52–04:47
• Kimberly’s Rationale, Desire for Marriage, Not Wedding: 04:51–05:13, 08:43
• Hosts Reflect on Ignored Red Flags: 06:00–07:05
• Panel Considers Gender Double Standards: 05:15, 09:49
• Kimberly on Proposing Regardless of Father’s Response: 08:02–08:43
• Final Thoughts on Family Proposal Risks: 09:44–10:37

---

Tone and Style

True to The Bert Show style, the conversation is candid, humorous, direct, and occasionally irreverent, with a blend of empathy, skepticism, and comic relief. The cast and callers keep the energy high, using personal anecdotes and real talk to dissect the situation, while rooting their comments in relatable, everyday experiences of love and miscommunication.

---

Summary prepared from 00:58–10:37 of the episode. Advertisement and outro segments omitted.

Transcript

[A]

At vrbo, we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support. So we plan for the plot twists. Every booking is automatically backed by our VRBO care guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before your stay, through the moments in between and after your trip. Because a great trip starts with peace of mind and maybe a good playlist. But we've got the peace of mind part covered.

[B]

This is the new Weight Watchers built for real life and real results no matter what mode you're in. Maddie went all in for her big day and lost 33 pounds. Emily lost 85 pounds and hit her goal while still living her life.

[C]

Weight Watchers gave me the tools and I feel amazing.

[B]

Join the millions of members and lose weight with the number one doctor recommended weight loss program. Lose [e-mail] at six months, participants in

[C]

the clinical trial of Weight Watchers program lost an average of £12.

[D]

The Birch Show. We just took this phone call from Kimberly about 10 minutes ago. She's taking matters into her own hands.

[E]

It's interesting because he had said before that he wasn't the marrying type. And, you know, if you're together, you're together, but I really feel with 100% certainty that he's gonna say yes. He's the love of my life and he's terrific. I'm really excited.

[D]

And you're that sure he's gonna say yes? You're that sure he's gonna be as excited as you are?

[E]

I am positive.

[D]

So that's Kimberly saying she's not only proposing marriage to her boyfriend at his home in front of his family, but it's the first time that she's ever gonna actually meet his family also, and

[F]

she's gonna pull his dad aside and ask his permission.

[G]

That's awesome.

[D]

Good morning, Sherry. You are on Q100. Hi. Hi.

[H]

How are you doing?

[D]

I'm okay. You got some advice here for Kimberly?

[H]

Yes. I think she is absolutely crazy. Okay. Have you considered that this might be a huge step for him considering he already has issues with marriage? Like just the fact that you're meeting his family, he's allowing you into his family presence. That's. That's probably a huge step for him. So if you turn around and do this thing, this proposal or whatever, that's going to completely scare him off and

[E]

he's going to say, well, at least

[H]

I found out she was crazy before I married her. Because that's probably why he's afraid to get married. Most men aren't afraid of the commitment part of it. They're afraid of getting committed and then realizing that the person turns out to be a nut as soon as they put the ring on the finger. So to go into his family space and then for the first time. For the first time, and then propose to him in public when he's already told you that he's not ready for marriage, that's inconsiderate and kind of selfish and really. You're gonna shoot yourself in the foot.

[D]

Have you guys actually, like, gone and looked at rings and, I mean, talked about a life together and the actual ceremony and all that?

[E]

We've not talked. We've not.

[D]

We've.

[E]

No. We've never gone to, you know, to, like, look at rings, but we've definitely talked about a lifetime together, and both of us really want children. That much I know for sure. And it isn't really. I mean, it is. The caller was right in the fact that it's the first time that physically I've met his parents. But I know, like I said, I talked to. You know, we're friends, like his sister and I. You know, like, we're friends on Facebook and stuff like that. So we talk and we chat. So his family knows me. They're just so far that I've never actually been there, and he's met my family and, you know, and we've gone on vacations together, you know, so it's not like I was like this secret girlfriend, and now this is the. It's like this. The first moment I'm being revealed. You know, it's not like that at all. Like, they know that we're serious.

[D]

Yeah, I'm not concerned about that part. I mean, I wish I was in the room or I've been in the room where I've seen his attitude about marriage. Because if it's a flippant, like, oh, honey, you know what marriage is. Yeah. I mean, yes, but we don't have to do that. That's one thing. Or there's the I'm just not for marriage. It's just a piece of paper, and our relationship is our relationship, and I don't ever see myself getting married. Is it different?

[E]

It's so funny because that's scarily accurate. That's almost like, verbatim what he says.

[D]

Which time? The first example or the second one?

[E]

The second one where he said, you know, marriage is just a piece of paper, and I don't really know if it's for me. But also, too, like the lady had said, who Just called, you know, that most men are afraid because they're going to, I don't know, marry some nutjob or whatever. But he knows, you know, I'm not like that. I mean, he doesn't want to come with him.

[D]

He's telling you, if he doesn't want

[F]

to get married at all, why put yourself in the position to be embarrassed in front of his family?

[E]

Well, you know, the way I figure it, I really. I honestly, I don't have anything to lose because I. Other than, like this. Other than this relationship. I want to get married. I want to have children, but I don't want my children not to have a legal father. So if it does come down to that, I mean, I'm not saying we'll break up immediately, but I really want to want to be married if we're going to have children.

[D]

All right. It's that important to you? Okay.

[I]

Yeah. I'm not. I don't want to give you any advice that's hypocritical. If you were a guy, would I say that? Would I say the same thing? You know, so there's plenty of women out there who make a stink about marriage, and then the guy still proposes because he wants to propose. So that's not my issue with Kimberly. My issue with Kimberly is in front of the family, and especially the first time, Regardless of if you've known the family for the whole time, we say it is such a dangerous thing and it should be a personal thing. And especially since you and he have to have a serious conversation about your future. I think your proposal should be in private to launch into that conversation you just told us about. I want to be a mother. I want to have a legal husband, or I'm not going to pick up my life and move.

[D]

I see this with women all the time.

[A]

We.

[D]

Where guys tell you things that they tell you how they're feeling, yet you don't believe it.

[G]

You ignore it.

[D]

You choose to ignore it. He's telling you right now he's not for marriage. That's not him.

[G]

But that goes back to what women change in guys. They're like, oh, he says he's not into marriage, but he just doesn't know it yet.

[D]

Look, one of my really good friends ended up getting divorced a couple of months ago. He told his girlfriend at the time, I just want to let you know, if you're going to sign up, for me, that means no kids. I do not want to have children. It's just not part of my makeup. I don't Want to be a dad, but if you want to be with me, we can be with each other. So she said, okay, I get it. Let's get married. They get married. He's a year into the relationship. She starts pressuring him to have kids. He gets a vasectomy and says, look, I told you, this is where I'm at. Never having kids. Never, never, never. She's living across the country now. He's living here. They're divorced. But he told her right off the bat, but she thought, well, once he gets into marriage, change a little bit, be in love. He'll see, you know, he'll start hanging around other family. He told her, yeah, a lot of

[F]

times I think people, men and women, live their own, like, narrative. You know, you have the narrative you want to tell for your life, and you just kind of move on living it and don't consider what the other person has for their story, you know?

[I]

Right. But I also think that to be serious about a marriage, you can't be so stickler on every. Now, kids is very important. I mean, absolutely. That's a make or break. I know a couple, same situation. But I think also if this, this is how I am, this is how I'm always going to be. Whatever you. I don't think you're a great candidate for marriage in general if you have that kind of attitude.

[D]

I mean, there's like, you'll never change. Hey, Mandy. Go ahead.

[E]

I tell her to go for it because there's nothing wrong, I don't think, with taking a chance. But if he says no, at least she'll know he's not going to marry her. I mean, I tell her to go

[D]

for it, so what is the harm then? I mean, if you're really using this to see if he's at all open to marriage, then what is the harm in doing it in private rather than in front of the family?

[E]

Well, that's part of the reason is that's why I'm asking his dad, you know, the night before, because he's always talking about his dad, you know, like he's really, really close to him. Even though I talk to his mom on the telephone, I figure, you know, if his dad says yes, then of course I'm going to do it, you know. But if he. I mean, I'm going to do it either way, to tell you the truth, whether or not he, you know, gives me my. The approval.

[D]

So even if the father says. Even if the father says, look, you know, that whatever his name is, Andy is anti marriage. You know that. You know, this is not part of his future, right? So, no, I can't really give my blessing. You're still gonna go for it in front of the family?

[E]

I still will, yes. And let me. I want to be really, really, really, really clear, okay? I don't want a wedding. I want a marriage. Okay? I don't need to have, like, if it's. If it's the big, you know, like, $30,000 wedding and all that. I don't. I don't need that. Okay? We can just go to the courthouse. Like, nobody else even has to. Well, I guess. Well, his parents. Yeah. And his family. I say nobody has to know but his family. You know? I mean, it's just something personal for me. And like I said, I'll sign any prenup. I'll do whatever I need to do on my end to help him feel comfortable with that. Like I said, I'm not doing it to get this big, lavish wedding. And look at me. Look at me. I want a big engagement ring. That's exactly why I'm doing it the opposite. Because I want him to know that it's about that commitment for me and not some pageantry, you know? Not like, oh, I want 15 bridesmaids, you know?

[D]

I understand. I understand. Okay, well, we have got to get in touch with you to find out exactly what happens. And we'll find out if the dad said, yeah, go for it.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

And if your boyfriend said, yeah, and how the proposed. The public proposal went in front of the family.

[E]

Good luck.

[I]

Good luck. I think it still should. I think it's cool that you're trying to do it the traditional route. I think that's fantastic. I just be cautious about doing it in front of the entire family. That's all.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

All right. Hold on one second. I will talk to her after the holiday. Stealing his thunder in what way?

[G]

In case he wants to do it.

[F]

In case he did want to do it. Maybe he knows how important it is to her. And then he wants to propose. Like she's kind of robbing him of the chance to do something cool for her.

[D]

Could be.

[F]

You know what I mean?

[D]

I have a feeling the father's gonna say no. Come on. You know what he's all about.

[I]

But would that stop a guy?

[G]

It's not stopping her.

[D]

She already said no.

[I]

If a guy asks for the father's hand in marriage and he said no, would that stop him?

[D]

It would stop me from doing it publicly in front of the rest of the family, for sure. This is something I'll handle after the

[I]

holiday in front of the family of anybody doing it.

[D]

But I'm just saying not a good idea.

[B]

The Bird Show Weight Watchers now offers access to affordable GLP1s. It works for members like I'm Haley and I've lost 100 pounds. Weight Watchers has everything I need from

[E]

weight loss medications to nutrition support and help with my side effects. It's all in one place.

[B]

Weight Watchers handles the insurance for you and offers affordable cash pay options. With our program, our members are losing more weight with expert nutrition and side effects support.

[G]

I'm Mike and I've lost 135 pounds. Weight Watchers prescribing GLP1 medications it's been life changing.

[A]

I'm Sharia and I lost 80 pounds on Weight Watchers. I realized that it would take more

[E]

than a prescription to lose weight and feel good on a GLP1.

[B]

Better results, expert support, lose more weight, make it last.

[G]

I can't imagine doing a GLP1 without Weight Watchers.

[B]

Get started for as low as $25 at weightwatchers.com New medications require eligibility and prescription.

[C]

Patients on 15 milligrams of parasepatide had an average of 21% weight loss in a 72 week clinical trial. Impaired with diet and exercise first month this little $25 for the 12 month plus plan does not include the cost of GLP1 medications.

[B]

This is the new Weight Watchers. It works for members like JoJo, who's learning simple, healthy habits, Sharia, who's making progress with meds, and Kim who still gets to eat what she loves. For over 60 years, we've helped millions of members find what works for them. Now it's your turn. Watch your life open up. Watch your story shift. Watch what you're capable of. Watch it work. Get started today at weightwatchers. Com.