Vault: Should you pay your kids for good grades?

Summary

The Bert Show - Episode Summary
Vault: Should you pay your kids for good grades?
Date: May 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this engaging roundtable, Bert, Melissa, and the Bert Show cast tackle the age-old parenting debate: Should kids be paid or otherwise rewarded for getting good grades? Listeners, callers, and hosts share personal anecdotes and diverse opinions about motivation, expectations, and the value of money versus intrinsic rewards. The conversation touches on fairness, real-world incentives, and the ethics of rewarding children for what some consider basic responsibilities.
Note: This summary starts after the introductory ads.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Personal Histories & Evolving Perspectives

• Parental Pressure:
  • Melissa highlights the real parental pressure when hearing about kids who get paid for grades, questioning whether she should do the same. (01:30)
  • Bert shares a childhood perspective: “I knew guys that got paid and I thought like, man, y'all just rich guys, spoiled, blah, blah, blah. You know, you're not learning the value of education… But as I grew older… I see the payoff, I see the worth.” (01:44)
    • Bert admits his stance has softened with age and parenthood; he’d consider small rewards, but not large ones—“I wouldn't give my 8 year old 50 bucks for getting good grades, but I would give her a dollar, you know, just to kind of show her a work ethic.” (02:20)

2. The Value of Education & Reward

• Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation:

  • Melissa is adamant: “You get good grades because you're supposed to get good grades. You just do it.” (03:21)
  • Some hosts agree that education should be its own reward: “You get a degree and you get an education just because that's just what you do. That's the expectation in your house.” (Parent 1, 03:37)

• Impact of Paying for Mediocrity:

  • Debate arises when Parent 1 recounts: “Like my next door neighbor...she would make money on Cs. I'm like, I'm getting grounded if I get Cs.” (03:49)
  • Melissa: “You don't reward average and C would be an average.” (04:13)
  • Bert: “I won’t reward average. I would reward above average. All A’s, things like that.” (04:15)

3. Rewards as Motivation

• What Counts as a Reward?
  • For some, rewards weren’t always monetary. Parent 4: “It would be probably like five bucks… or a small little gift…nothing huge…just something little and minute.” (05:23)
  • Melissa’s childhood: “If I didn't get A’s and B’s, then I couldn't do anything extracurricular…my dad kicked me off the baseball team because I got a C in art.” (05:35)
    • Laughter and ribbing follow about failing art class: “How'd you get a C in art, dude?” (06:02)

4. Callers Weigh In

• Real-World Incentives:

  • Caller 1 positions rewarding as more realistic: “When you think about it as an adult, we're paid. We are paid to perform. We don't go to work for fun. We’re paid to perform.” (06:24)
  • Melissa counters: “If you're getting your master's degree, they're not paying you to do that.” (06:50)
  • Parent 3: “Payment isn’t always in a dollar.” (07:02)

• Against Rewarding for Expectations:

  • Parent 2 compares it to participation awards: “It's along the same lines of having little league baseball games where there’s no winner or no loser… you are going to do great or you're going to have a consequence.” (07:04)

• Self-Motivation vs. External Incentives:

  • Parent 1: “You're not doing it to get something from the outside. You're doing it to build yourself up.” (07:41)

5. A Differing Parenting Philosophy

• Another Caller’s System:
  • Caller 2 shares her pay structure:
    • “He gets $10 for an A and he gets $5 for a B and he gets minus $5 for a C…So he does not get paid for Cs and he gets money taken away for that.” (09:29)
    • Her rationale: “I feel like I'm investing in not having to pay for his college education thousands of dollars by giving him $10 for an A…that's an investment to me.” (08:38)
  • This introduces a debate about what kinds of effort merit monetary reward and what disciplines should always be expected—like chores. Caller 2: “I don’t pay him a dime [for chores]…he needs to do that because that's his responsibility.” (10:31)
  • Parent 2 notes the contradiction: “Okay, I'm not going to pay him for chores because…people are [not] going to pay him for chores, but I'm gonna pay him for doing well [in school] because he needs to know…” (11:04)

6. Non-Monetary Rewards

• Bert explains he hasn’t paid his kids per se, but does reward them: “Taking them to a professional game…That's cool.” (11:18)
• Parent 1: “I used to get, good grades, we’re going to the Hawks game on Friday night.” (11:27)
• Melissa jokes: “That's more for Daddy than…” (11:31)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert: “I’m walking the fence… I’ve come to grow to think it’s just necessary to do hard work regardless of a payoff at all. But people that I know, they expect. It’s like they have an expectation, you know, and I didn’t have that growing up, so I want to…instill that.” (04:15-05:00)
• Parent 4: “It just made you strive harder to get those better grades…Seeing your parents really appreciate all the hard work you’re doing.” (05:00)
• Melissa: “My dad kicked me off the baseball team because I got a C in art…We had to forfeit the last two games of the season.” (05:35)
• Caller 1: “When you think about it as an adult…we’re paid to perform.” (06:24)
• Caller 2: “If you pay for those A’s now…you have a scholarship or…all of these opportunities that a higher GPA affords you. That’s an investment to me.” (08:38)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:30 – Melissa introduces the debate about paying for good grades.
• 01:44–03:00 – Bert reflects on his evolving views.
• 03:16–04:15 – Discussion on intrinsic motivation vs. extrinsic rewards and not rewarding average performance.
• 05:00–06:17 – Recollections of childhood rewards, consequences for grades, and a humorous story about getting kicked off the baseball team for a C in art.
• 06:24–07:52 – Callers debate if paying for grades prepares kids for the real world and discuss intrinsic motivation.
• 08:38–10:31 – Caller 2 shares her reward and penalty system tied to grades and scholarships.
• 11:18–11:34 – Bert and others discuss non-monetary rewards (sports games, outings).

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Tone and Style Highlights

The discussion is candid, fun, and lively, true to The Bert Show’s inviting and sometimes cheeky style. Stories toggle between heartfelt and hilarious, with spirited debate and gentle ribbing among hosts and callers alike.

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Takeaways

• The Bert Show cast and callers represent a wide spectrum of philosophies on incentivizing academic performance—from strict intrinsic value to carefully-calibrated extrinsic rewards.
• Monetary rewards are seen by some as an investment or a necessary motivator, and by others as undercutting essential self-motivation.
• Consistency, fairness, and the lasting lessons parents hope to impart are at the heart of the debate—one that, as the show makes clear, has no one-size-fits-all solution.

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Transcript

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[Melissa]

The Birch Show. I think most parents go through this. If you have have kids and some of the kids of some of your friends get paid for good grades, it puts pressure on you as a parent to start paying your kids off.

[Bert]

Right? And I was, it actually came from when I was a kid, I had friends. Well, not friend. I knew guys that got paid and I thought like, man, y' all just rich guys, spoiled, blah, blah, blah. You know, you're not learning the value of education. You know, I thought like that because that's what I learned from my mom and dad. But as I grew older and the same thing. Melissa, you mentioned something about brain freeze. Anyway, but I had a. When I was younger, I used to think that I would never do that. You mentioned something about leashes, having your children.

[Melissa]

Oh, leash, yes.

[Parent 1]

That's right.

[Bert]

And that's something I would never do now. I won't do it now, but I understand now.

[Melissa]

I know, right?

[Radio Host]

I get it.

[Bert]

Yeah, I get it. Same thing about getting paid. I used to think that I would never do that. I mean, you don't get paid if you get good grades. That's expected. Now that I'm old and I have children, I see the payoff, I see the twinkle, I see the worth. Now according to the level of maturity, definitely I wouldn't give my 8 year old 50 bucks for getting good grades, but I would give her a dollar, you know, just to kind of show her a work ethic.

[Parent 2]

Is dollar a big deal to her? Like would she be like, I got

[Bert]

a dollar from daddy and I make sure they understand the value? You know, I'm trying to teach the value of money first of all. And I'm trying to teach that if you work hard, you could get some sort of payoff that means something to you.

[Melissa]

See, I like that, that line of thinking. I just don't like when it comes to school that. Because they're never going to get paid to go to school unless you are a quarterback for Tennessee, but for the rest are probably not going to get paid to go to school.

[Parent 3]

But you know what I'm saying, he don't know nothing about that.

[Parent 1]

Right.

[Melissa]

They're not going to get paid in any time of their life for a, for doing hard work in school, maybe at the end of the day when they graduate, but if they do chores around the house, I'm way cool about giving them a buck for that. But for me, good grades is like, you get good grades because you're supposed to get good grades. You just do it.

[Parent 1]

Yeah. You get a degree and you get an education just because that's just what you do. That's the expectation in your house.

[Bert]

Exactly.

[Parent 1]

And I think that that's okay to keep it that way even though the other parents are doing something different.

[Parent 2]

Right.

[Parent 1]

Cause I know that the kids that I grew up with, like my next door neighbor growing up, she got paid for grades. Like she would make money on Cs. I'm like, I'm getting grounded if I get Cs. Yeah, she would get like a certain level for like C's, B's and A's and all this other kind of stuff. Well, I mean she, you know, eventually barely graduated high school and definitely didn't go to college and you know what I'm saying? So it didn't really work out for them and we Were the household that. That was just the expectation.

[Melissa]

You don't reward average and C would be an average.

[Bert]

In my house right now, I won't reward average. I would reward above average. All A's, things like that, like real good satisfaction. I mean, you know, I think they're still getting maybe satisfactory, unsatisfactory right now, But I would reward A pluses. A pluses. I mean, nothing's average, anything like that. But I understand what you're saying, though, because I'm walking a real. I'm walking the fence on with that, you know. And another thing is, when I was raised like that, I've come to grow to think that it's just necessary to do hard work regardless of a payoff at all. But people that I know, they expect. It's like they have an expectation, you know, And I don't. I didn't have that growing up, so I want to kind of try to instill that. Yeah, it's like a fine line I can say when.

[Parent 4]

I mean, I grew up getting rewarded for good stuff. But it wasn't. I mean, I didn't think about it, but I mean, it just made you strive harder to get those better grades. I didn't get paid for Cs. I didn't get paid for Ds. Expectations in my house were A's. So if you didn't get A's, then you didn't get rewarded. But if you got A's and you worked hard and you put forth forth the effort, it was kind of a nice thing to get something. Seeing your parents really appreciate all the hard work you're doing.

[Melissa]

How much did you get for an A?

[Parent 4]

It would be probably like five bucks. Like not per A. It was probably just like five bucks. Or they would just give me like a small little gift like it wasn't anything huge. It's not like a hundred bucks for a good report card. It's just something little and minute.

[Melissa]

But mine was more that if I didn't get A's and B's, then I couldn't do anything extracurricular. So baseball was out of the equation. So I had to keep. I got kicked off of my baseball team by my dad with two games left in the season, man. And we were in the playoff hunt and we only had 10 dudes on the team, and one of the kids was sick and he kicked me off the team because I got a C in art and we had to forfeit the last two games of the season.

[Radio Host]

Art.

[Parent 1]

How'd you get a C in art?

[Parent 2]

How'd you get a C in art, dude?

[Melissa]

It's like, I didn't want anything to do with that kiln. Come on, man. Anybody can pass C. That's your own fault right there.

[Parent 3]

It's art, man.

[Parent 1]

I would have yanked you from the dude.

[Melissa]

Eight kids coming to school on Monday. Like, we had a 4th of May because of you.

[Parent 1]

If it was algebra, he would have understood it was art. That's why you were in trouble.

[Melissa]

Good morning, Laura. You're on Q100.

[Parent 2]

Hey.

[Caller 1]

Hey there. I was just think, listening to you guys talk about, you know, paying and rewarding your children for making good grades, right? You know, I really don't have a problem with that as long as. As long as the reward is reasonable. But when you think about it as an adult, we're paid. We are paid to perform. When we go to work, we don't go to do it for fun. We're paid to perform. We. To make a living.

[Parent 3]

Get your grades.

[Caller 1]

I don't have any problem with that.

[Melissa]

But that. See, to me, like, it would be the equivalent, like, if you went to. If you're going to. I don't know, if you're getting your master's degree. They're not paying you to do that.

[Parent 3]

Well, the grades are the payment.

[Parent 1]

It's just.

[Parent 3]

Payment isn't always in a dollar.

[Parent 2]

It's. It's along the same lines of having little league baseball games where there's no winner or no loser. You know what I mean? Like, it's kind of like, yeah, it seems. I don't think you should be rewarded for doing what you should be doing anyways. Like, you should be getting A's and B's. Like, I used to get the same thing Burke got. Like, if I didn't get A's and B's, then I got in trouble. So I never got rewarded because the expectation was, dude, you're a smart kid.

[Parent 3]

Well, your reward was not getting in trouble, right?

[Parent 2]

So it was the same way. I think it's the same way with. When they don't let little league teams win or lose. There is going to be a winner and there is going to be a loser. You are gonna do great or you're gonna have a consequence.

[Parent 1]

And it's also, like, you're getting the value of it for yourself. You're not doing it to get something from the outside. You're doing it to build yourself up. Does that make sense?

[Parent 3]

I'm getting paid for what I got in trouble for. I mean, cause controls talking was always X, X. I Mean, it got unsatisfactory in controls talking throughout elementary school. And I'm getting paid today.

[Parent 2]

Now I'll get paid for this one day.

[Melissa]

You're rewarded for that.

[Parent 3]

That's what I told the teacher. I said, Ms. Hudson, one day this is gon. And here I am.

[Melissa]

And Hayden's getting too good at grades right now. That cost me too much money. Frankly, too cheap to go on that plan. Hey, Mary. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 1]

Good morning.

[Melissa]

Good morning.

[Caller 2]

You know, I always agree with Bert 99% of the time, but this is the 1%, Bert, that I just have to say.

[Melissa]

So this is the 1% you're wrong. Huh?

[Caller 2]

This is the 1% of the time that Bert is wrong.

[Melissa]

All right, bring it on. Let's go.

[Caller 2]

I pay my son for as, and the reason is because he's in high school. And if you pay for those as now, I mean, if that's an incentive to make them, instead of settling for the C or settling for the B, just to graduate for going for the A. And then at the end of the day, you have a scholarship or, you know, you have all of these opportunities that a higher GPA affords you. That's an investment to me. I mean, I feel like I'm investing in not having to pay for his college education thousands of dollars by giving him $10 for an A. And he likes it. And I'm happy because he brings home the A.

[Parent 2]

Now, why would. Why is that A? Why is that to you more acceptable than punishing him for C's?

[Caller 2]

Oh, well, the pay scale goes. He gets $10 for an A and he gets $5 for a B and he gets minus $5 for a C. So A A and a B C would negate, you know, would make it come down to only $5. So he does not get paid for Cs and he gets money taken away for that.

[Parent 2]

Didn't answer my question. My question was why.

[Caller 2]

Why would average. A C is average. A child can graduate high school with a C. I mean, you. You tell a child graduate from high school, and every child is not a scholar, Every child is not super hyper intelligent, and every child is not going to bring home an A because some coursework is more difficult than others and some subjects are not that child's forte.

[Parent 1]

That's the level of expectation you're setting up for your kid, though.

[Melissa]

Yeah. And here's where I think your plan is flawed. At least in my house, you'll be flawed that the payment is getting the scholarships to go to college. That is what he's earned. That's what he's working towards. Not the $10.

[Caller 2]

Right. And he understands why I give him that extra incentive for the A's. He understands that. I feel like it's an investment into his college education. And as far as chores, I don't pay him a dime because he needs to know that he has to keep his, you know, keep his butt clean and keep his environment clean. Because when he's an adult, nobody's gonna pay him for washing his dishes when he's in college or doing his laundry. He needs to do that because that's his responsibility. I'm not paying him for that.

[Melissa]

I'm on totally the other end of the fence.

[Parent 2]

That's a contradiction.

[Caller 2]

Of what?

[Parent 2]

Like, okay, I'm not gonna pay him for chores because he needs to know when he grows up, people are gonna pay him for church, but I'm gonna pay him for doing well. Because he needs to know when you grow up. Yeah.

[Melissa]

Have you started to pay the kids yet for the grades?

[Bert]

No, I haven't. I've rewarded them. When I say pay, not just monetary money. I reward them. Taking. Taking them to a professional game, you know, things like that. So they can see the.

[Parent 1]

That's cool.

[Parent 2]

Or let them pick out.

[Parent 1]

I used to get them good grades. We're going to the Hawks game on Friday night.

[Melissa]

That's more for Daddy than.

[Bert]

Hey.

[Melissa]

The Birch show

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