Vault: Someone Actually Tried To Do Their Own Plastic Surgery?!

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – "Someone Actually Tried To Do Their Own Plastic Surgery?!"

Date: April 13, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode centers on some jaw-dropping stories about people resorting to do-it-yourself (DIY) plastic surgery, highlighting both the desperation caused by economic pressures and the grave dangers of attempting medical procedures at home. The hosts react with a mix of disbelief, humor, and genuine concern, discussing a viral news segment and several infamous cases.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. A Viral Glenn Beck Freak-out (01:30–05:37)

• The episode opens with the hosts sharing an audio clip of conservative talk host Glenn Beck losing his temper during a heated call-in conversation about universal health care.
• Quotes:
  • "Get off my phone, you little pinhead." — Glenn Beck (03:45)
  • "He needs to be the villain on a Disney movie. Doesn't he sound like the villain?" — Host 1 (04:49)
• The hosts find humor in the “meltdown” and Beck’s repeated outbursts, even referencing a remix of the clip.
• This segment serves as a comedic and lighthearted lead-in to the main topic.

2. DIY Plastic Surgery News Shocker (05:37–08:11)

• The hosts react to a recent news story from the Today Show about a woman who tried to perform her own facial plastic surgery because she couldn't afford a professional procedure.
  • She attempted to remove a facial scar with silicone injections and also plumped her own lips.
  • The result was severely inflamed, blistered skin and significant regret.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • "It's not on an ankle, it's not on a bicep, not on a forearm. She decided to do plastic surgery on herself, on her face." — Host 3 (05:55)
  • "One word that sums it up is a nightmare. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. I can’t believe that I did what I did." — DIY Surgery Woman (altered voice) (06:47)
  • "I felt pretty proud of myself. I thought, you know, this was a cheap way to go...By the following day, it was just completely inflamed. My whole face, it just looked like horrible blisters." — DIY Surgery Woman (07:18)
  • “What were you thinking?” — News Narrator (07:35)
  • “The hell’s wrong with you?” — Co-host (07:36)
• The hosts are shocked, expressing horror and disbelief, while also teasing the segment’s oddity.

3. Case Study: The Korean Plastic Surgery Addict (07:47–08:09)

• The news segment highlights a notorious case from Korea: a former singer and model injected herself with cooking oil, leading to grotesque disfigurement and major surgery to remove half a pound of oil from her face and neck.
• Quote:
  • “Doctors removed a half pound of oil from her face and neck.” — Narrator (07:47)
  • "She doesn’t even look human anymore." — Host 3 (08:11)
• The hosts react with sympathy and reiterate the dangers of at-home procedures.

4. Debate and Takeaways: The Risks of “Discount” Surgeries (08:11–09:06)

• The hosts agree unanimously that plastic surgery is not something to try at home or shop for “deep discounts.”
  • “There’s just some things you don’t need to get discounted. And I’m sorry, but plastic surgery or anything like that, you just. You gotta go.” — Host 1 (08:29)
  • “Any sort of surgery, deep discount, right? Doesn’t have to be cosmetic. If you need a tooth pulled…” — Co-host (08:39)
• They reference an old commercial parodying DIY surgery to further illustrate how absurd and dangerous it is.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the absurdity of the viral plastic surgery attempt:
  • "Let's just inject it, dumbass." — Host 1 (06:29)
• On economic desperation and risks:
  • "The current economy is driving people to inexpensive but dangerous do it yourself procedures." — News Narrator (07:47)
• On warnings about taking shortcuts:
  • "If you're gonna get cosmetic, if you're going there, go there." — Co-host/Host 1 (08:37)
• On disbelief at the news coverage:
  • "Sorry. Maybe she figures her face is so messed up, nobody recognizes her." — Host 1 (07:13)

---

Segment Timestamps

• 01:30–05:37: Glenn Beck’s radio meltdown, remix, and the hosts' comedic analysis.
• 05:37–06:32: Intro to DIY plastic surgery story; initial reactions.
• 06:32–07:47: Details of the woman’s DIY procedure and her regrets.
• 07:47–08:09: Korean cooking oil case and expert warnings.
• 08:11–09:06: Hosts’ opinions, broader implications, and a warning against “discount” surgeries.

---

Overall Tone & Takeaway

• The Bert Show crew uses a blend of humor, shock, and candid discussion to explore real, dangerous trends in cosmetic procedures, punctuated by memorable soundbites and a genuine sense of concern. They repeatedly stress:
  • Plastic surgery—and indeed all surgery—should always be left to professionals.
  • Economic hardship is driving some to take unacceptable risks with their health.
  • DIY procedures can result in life-altering damage, and viral stories hold important cautionary lessons.

---

For listeners who missed the episode, this summary captures the intense, bizarre, and sobering mix of stories the show is known for, wrapping real-life cautionary tales in lively banter and irreverence.

Transcript

[Main Host]

At vrbo, we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support. So we plan for the plot twists. Every booking is automatically backed by our VRBO Care Guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before your stay, through the moments in between and after your trip. Because a great trip starts with peace of mind and maybe a good playlist. But we've got the peace of mind part covered.

[Sponsor Announcer]

This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. Last year I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself. When you're navigating life's changes, Talkspace can help. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatry providers that you can access anytime, anywhere. Living a busy life, navigating a long distance relationship, becoming a first stepfather, Talkspace made all of those journeys possible. I could speak with my therapist in the office. I could speak of my therapist in the comfort of my home. I was never alone. Talkspace works with most major insurers and most insured members have a $0 copay. No insurance, no problem. Now get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 when you go to talkspace.com match with a licensed therapist today at talkspace.com save $80 with code SPACE80 at talk.

[Co-Host Burt]

This is the Burt Show.

[Jeff]

I want to play a couple of things for you late Burt show listeners. We played this yesterday. I don't know if you heard this last week, but Glenn Beck, conservative talker, just flipped out on one of his callers last week. I mean, he had a breakdown.

[Main Host]

I don't ever listen to him. But Jeff, you said he's normally combative, but he goes over the top on this one.

[Co-Host 1]

Well, you'll hear in this he gets a little. And Bert said it perfectly because he gets, you hear him get high pitched. So he's definitely passionate during his debates and passionate with his callers. And I think what probably happened is this high pitched sentence came out. I mean, he's entertaining to watch. It's like Michael Savage. He's a lunatic, you know, so what makes him fun to watch. But his friends are going to give him a lot of grief for this one line in here.

[Jeff]

It's about a minute and 20 second clip and the good stuff happens in the last 30 seconds. But then we will play the follow up because somebody made his freak out, his breakdown into a Remix that's about a minute long, which is really funny to listen to, but this is last week on his show and he has one of his listeners call up that wants to talk about universal health care.

[Caller/Guest]

How about France and Italy where you just go in and sign a paper fight with the insurance companies.

[Co-Host Burt]

Tell me, Kathy, about the insurance program that they do have in France. Tell me about it.

[Caller/Guest]

You.

There are people that go over there and they are on vacation. If they have a problem, all they have to do is walk into the clinics or the hospitals and sign their name. The doctors do not have to be bothered signing insurance for.

[Co-Host Burt]

Hang on. I want to make sure I understand. So a non citizen can go over to a hospital and walk in and get emergency treatment. That never happens here.

[Jeff]

Okay, the crazy plane now is starting to taxi.

[Co-Host Burt]

Giving you a logical answer.

[Caller/Guest]

You don't have logic.

[Co-Host 1]

Oh, boy, you're right.

[Caller/Guest]

Where's your logic? What would you do? Change this health care system for the better? After all, every time you people bring up costs, you don't care about the trillions of dollars to bal the banks and all the the credit card companies.

[Co-Host Burt]

Kathy. Get off my phone. Oh, get off my phone, you little pinhead.

[Main Host]

Pinhead.

[Co-Host Burt]

I don't care. You people don't care about the trillions. Get off my phone. I'm gonna lose my mind today.

[Main Host]

Already done.

[Interviewee]

Wow.

[Jeff]

All right, that was fun, Part one. But it gets way better than this.

[Co-Host Burt]

Get off my phone. Get off my phone, you little pinhead. You love it all. I don't care. You people don't care about the trillions. Get off my phone. Get off my phone. Get off my phone, you little pinhead. Get off my phone. Get off my phone. Get off my phone, you little pinhead. Get off my phone, you little pinhead.

[Main Host]

He needs to be the villain on a Disney movie. Doesn't he sound like the villain?

[Jeff]

He didn't know he was trying out auditioning.

[Main Host]

He was.

[Co-Host Burt]

I'm gonna lose my mind today. I don't care. You people don't care about the trillions. Get off my phone. Get, get off my phone, you little pinhead. I'm gonna lose my mind today. I'm gonna lose my mind today. Get off my phone.

[Jeff]

Nuke has gotta use that.

[Co-Host 2]

Oh, yes.

[Jeff]

He's doing his club thing.

[Interviewee]

Get some gloves.

[Main Host]

Let's go.

[Jeff]

All right, so that was from yesterday and this was from this morning on the Today show where you're not gonna believe this is real. And this is not the only case where this has happened. But a woman, I guess, based on the recession, decided that she would try to perform her own plastic surgery.

[Co-Host Burt]

Oh, my.

[Jeff]

It's not on an ankle, it's not on a bicep, not on a forearm. She decided to do plastic surgery on herself, on her face.

[Co-Host Burt]

Why?

[Jeff]

And injected stuff in her lips also.

[Co-Host 2]

God, I never heard of that. Never even thought that somebody would think of that.

[Jeff]

And it didn't go well. Didn't go real well at all. But, I mean, you'll hear towards the end of this piece, it's only minute long. She's not the only one. Not by a long shot. One woman put like a half a pound of. What was it? Cooking oil?

[Co-Host 2]

That's so stupid.

[Jeff]

In her own face.

[Co-Host 2]

She was like butter margarine parquet.

[Main Host]

I don't know. Let's just inject it, dumbass.

[Narrator]

It all started with a tiny facial scar she wanted to get rid of, but she couldn't afford a plastic surgeon. So she literally took matters into her own hands, or in this case, a needle and silicone. And she decided while she was at it, she might as well plump up her lips, too.

[Interviewee]

One word that sums it up is a nightmare. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. I can't believe that I did what I did. I actually.

[Jeff]

I told these guys earlier this morning, too. Another sidebar. Funny part of this whole thing is that they had the Today show alter her voice so it's higher, but they don't do anything to her face on tv. I mean, it's in its natural state. So she must have said, yeah, I'll agree to it, but you have to alter my voice so people don't know who I am.

[Co-Host 2]

What? Sorry.

[Main Host]

Huh. Maybe she figures her face is so messed up, nobody recognizes her.

[Interviewee]

I felt pretty proud of myself. I thought, you know, this was a cheap way to go. It looks good. This one particular website had it for $10 for a bottle. By the following day, it was just completely inflamed. My whole face, it just looked like horrible blisters.

[Narrator]

With all due respect, what were you thinking?

[Co-Host 1]

The hell's wrong with you?

[Interviewee]

At the time, I really thought that it would be okay. I thought that most of it would just come out of the lips and that very little of it would actually stay in there.

[Narrator]

Williams says the current economy is driving people to inexpensive but dangerous do it yourself procedures. One of the most shocking is this Korean plastic surgery addict who was once a beautiful singer and model. She injected herself with cooking oil. The results were disastrous. Doctors removed a half pound of oil from her face and neck.

[Co-Host 2]

Oh, my God, gross.

[Jeff]

I mean, that's a five minute piece that we have edited down to a minute. And the whole version is up on my screen. Facebook page. Or I think we'll get to it at q100atlanta.com. But the Korean woman that they're talking about there, she looks completely different. I mean, she was a good looking singer. And she injected half a pound of cooking oil into her face. She doesn't even look human anymore.

[Main Host]

There's just some things you don't need to get discounted. And I'm sorry, but plastic surgery or anything like that, you just. You gotta go.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Co-Host 1]

If you're gonna get cosmetic, if you're

[Main Host]

going there, go there.

[Co-Host 1]

Any sort of surgery, deep discount, right? Doesn't have to be cosmetic if you need a tooth pulled.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Co-Host 2]

There was a commercial a long time ago, and I forgot what it was for, but it was a guy that was sitting at his kitchen table and he had a knife in his hand to his chest. And he was calling his surgeon, asking how to do it. And it was a joke, right? Because he couldn't afford, you know, talking about not being able, I guess, afford healthcare or something. But, you know, this woman, these women actually did that.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Co-Host Burt]

Stupid.

[Co-Host 2]

Crazy.

[Co-Host Burt]

This is the Birch Show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable. Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl. Love ya.

[Narrator]

So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.