Vault: Someone Put Porn on In-Studio Computers

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Someone Put Porn on In-Studio Computers

Date: June 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

This classic episode recounts an eyebrow-raising start to the crew’s morning broadcast, when the studio computers became completely unusable—infected by a barrage of porn-related popups and spam. The hosts tackle the awkwardness and hilarity of discovering inappropriate content at work, speculate about how it got there, and take calls from listeners with similar embarrassing workplace stories. The tone is both lighthearted and a little exasperated, with the Bert Show cast leaning into their signature candid, real-life banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Infected Studio Computers (01:32–04:24)

• Show Chaos:
  The show started with two in-studio computers—used for essential traffic reports and call screening—completely locked up by “porn-related spam.” Wendy, who uses one of the computers, tried refreshing and rebooting, but the popups would not abate.
• Technical Details:
  The engineer traced the malware infection back to a specific timestamp: 8:52 PM the previous night. Suspicion naturally falls on whoever used the studio after the Bert Show.
• Speculation:
  Discussion about which staff member or adjacent show (“Adam Bomb Show”) may have caused the issue, especially since this wasn’t the first time the studio’s computers had to be cleaned of adult content.

Memorable moment:

"Wendy refreshed them to see if that would fix anything, and they locked up again. So she investigated and found out that it was completely bogged down with porn-related spam."
—Host (Burt), [01:32]

Humor:

"I used my iPhone for traffic this morning. No computer because it was bogged down with all this nastiness."
—Co-host 2 (Johnny O), [03:04]

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2. Reactions, Blame, and IT Paranoia (04:06–05:54)

• Blame Game:
  The group jokingly debates who might be responsible, noting that Adam Bomb (the likely candidate by schedule) isn’t answering texts to “defend himself.”
• Prior Incidents:
  References are made to historical events in the building and in sister stations, illustrating that this isn’t a rare phenomenon.
• Workplace Porn Statistics:
  The team discusses the surprising pervasiveness of the issue—citing the statistic that more porn is watched at work than at home, leading to both disgust and disbelief.
• IT’s All-Seeing Eye:
  Co-hosts express their anxiety that IT staff can see their browser histories—no matter how old, joking about the fear of being “judged” or exposed.

Quotable:

"I've turned it in and then thought, oh, Lord, what have I looked at in the past few days? Because, you know, engineers, IT guys, they can see everything."
—Host (Burt), [05:23]

Comic Hyperbole:

"I'm convinced that they can study it long enough...they can see my parents being conceived, because that's just what the technology that they have nowadays."
—Host (Burt), [05:47]

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3. Is Porn At Work a Gendered Thing? (06:16–06:32)

• Jamie wonders aloud whether this workplace habit is more common among men than women, prompting a brief roundtable of speculation.

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4. Listener Calls: Real-Life Porn-at-Work Stories (06:53–08:39)

• Crystal’s Office Drama:
  Caller Crystal explains her small office suffered the same fate—recurring computer infections leading to onscreen porn—and the embarrassment of always blaming the same coworker.
  • IT warns that even innocent clicks on shady ads or email links can unleash a deluge of explicit popups, sometimes without malicious intent.
  • Crystal admits, “...I didn’t believe it until I went over to [her] computer and I saw a couple of Hooters staring at me, and I went, hello.” ([07:18])
• Another Listener’s Wild Story:
  A second caller shares a tale of an employee being caught “giving himself some love” in the boss’s office during business hours by the CEO.
• Team’s Reaction:
  Both stories leave the crew shocked and amused—and slightly grossed out.

Notable Reactions:

"You should see this. And then they both look at it and then it goes crazy."
—Co-host 1 (Jamie), [04:07]

"There is nobody here in this office that I would ever want to see that happen."
—Co-host 2 (Johnny O), [08:29]

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5. Workplace Porn Statistics: A Wake-Up Moment (08:39–09:09)

• Crash Clark references a Newsweek article:
  “A quarter of employees who use the Internet at work...surf for porn. A quarter of the people, 25%, are looking at porn.” ([08:39]–[08:58])
• The group jokes that statistically, “one of us” in the room is guilty by percentage—leading to more suspicions, playful accusations, and denials.

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6. Final Thoughts & Studio Culture (09:13–10:01)

• Playful Probing:
  The Bert Show hosts tease each other, suggesting their own computers be investigated.
  • Burt maintains his innocence: “Internet porn weirds me out. Like, it just seems too seedy. Gross.” ([09:32])
  • He compares watching porn on a work computer to old-school peep shows, equating the experience to something skeevy and outdated.

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• [01:32]
  “Wendy refreshed them to see if that would fix anything and they locked up again. So she investigated and found out that it was completely bogged down with porn related spam.”
  —Host (Burt)

• [03:04]
  “I used my iPhone for traffic this morning. No computer because it was bogged down with all this nastiness.”
  —Co-host 2 (Johnny O)

• [05:23]
  “I've turned it in and then thought, oh, Lord, what have I looked at in the past few days? Because, you know, engineers, IT guys, they can see everything.”
  —Host (Burt)

• [05:47]
  “I'm convinced that they can study it long enough...they can see my parents being conceived, because that's just what the technology that they have nowadays.”
  —Host (Burt)

• [07:18]
  “I didn’t believe it until I went over to [her] computer and I saw a couple of Hooters staring at me, and I went, hello.”
  —Caller 1 (Crystal)

• [08:39]
  “I knew I'd seen a statistic about porn at work. And I just pulled up an article that Newsweek had done about a year ago, talking about one quarter of employees who use the Internet at work surf for porn.”
  —Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)

• [09:32]
  “Internet porn weirds me out. Like, it just seems too seedy. Gross. Like it seems like going to the peep show... I gotta be honest with you.”
  —Host (Burt)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:32 – Discovery of the infected computers & immediate reactions
• 03:09 – Diagnosis and history of similar issues at the station
• 05:23 – IT paranoia and jokes about “all-seeing” engineers
• 06:53 – Listener call: Crystal’s story of porn popups in her office
• 08:18 – Second listener call: employee caught in the act in boss’s office
• 08:39 – Workplace porn statistic shared
• 09:13 – Playful accusations and group reactions
• 09:32 – Burt expresses his personal discomfort with online porn

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Final Notes

This episode is classic Bert Show—funny, self-deprecating, and unafraid to tackle awkward watercooler topics with honesty and laughter. The crew’s vulnerability and willingness to air their own workplace mishaps (and invite listeners to do the same) makes for an engaging, relatable segment that balances humor with a real caution about digital boundaries at work.

Transcript

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[Host (Burt)]

If we have a printer that doesn't work, for example, or a computer that goes down, that's a headache on a normal day. But if something like that happens on a day when one of us is out, it's an even bigger problem in the beginning of the show. Our show started off at 5:30 this morning with a problem and it's a problem that could be prevented. And it's a problem that we're going to have to investigate. And it's a problem I think we did, didn't we, that we're gonna have to take phone calls on because I know there's other people who have discovered this type of Stuff at their workplace. But Wendy came in and the computer that she uses to get traffic and also the computer that sits next to the board that I use and Tracy used to talk back and forth to Burt during the show. That allows us to answer phone calls and communicate with each other. Both of those computers were locked up bad locked up. So Wendy refreshed them to see if that would fix anything and they locked up again. So she investigated and found out that it was completely bogged down with porn related spam.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Ew.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

It's not that I had to investigate very much. It's the fact that a pop up times 10 popped up with porn websites like all over the place. And I restarted, went more porn websites popped up and had zero clue on where the porn came from.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

So you couldn't even like pull up the Internet Explorer link without it being like all over all porn.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

When I pulled up the Internet, I

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

tried to go to the traffic dirty web sticky computer.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

I used my iPhone for traffic this morning. No computer because it was bogged down with all this nastiness.

[Host (Burt)]

Our engineer finally got it freed up at 8am this morning. So he's got. So it's working now and both of them are fixed. But during that process he was able to learn that the infection occurred at 8:52 last night.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

PM.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

Uh oh, Boston.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

So me and Johnny O get out of here at 7:00pm And Adam.

[Host (Burt)]

So it's the Adam Bomb show.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

So it was either Adam Bomb. Well, the computer faces the other way.

[Host (Burt)]

There's two of them.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

There's two of them.

[Host (Burt)]

One faces bomb.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

And this isn't the first infraction. This is not the first time Tim's had to come in here. Engineer Tim has to come in here and fix the computer because there has been porn on the other computer before that had to come in here and fix. Not just today.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

Well, this once before this has been historical. And I'm trying to figure out if it's been in the studio or not. Or maybe in our old building. But years ago with one of our sister stations, they literally had to take the computer out of the studio because there was so many violations when it comes to downloading porn.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

That's gross.

[Host (Burt)]

Now what are you doing with it in the studio?

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Now if it was one of those computers last night, could they have been looking at one thing crazy like, oh my gosh, I got a crazy email. You should see this. And then they both look at it and then it goes crazy. Or can they tell if it's like one weird email was open or can they tell if it's like, surfing lots of different sites to get you to that point?

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

All that he said was that somebody downloaded something at 8:52 that made the computers do this, so he had to

[Host (Burt)]

reset it to, like, before 8:52.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

But didn't we see a statistic?

[Host (Burt)]

I don't want to wake him up. He's probably looking at porn.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Oh, come on.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

But didn't we see a statistic at one point talking about how there's more porn watched at work than there is at home?

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Disgusting.

[Host (Burt)]

How is that? What do people do with that?

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

Cause you can't do anything with it at work.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Right.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

I mean, I used to share an office with Crash Clark years ago, and, yeah, he'd look at it, but I don't even think.

[Host (Burt)]

I don't even think he was on the network. Like, I mean, they built a special firewall.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

I'm just saying he's at work doing this. I mean, like, it's more common than people think.

[Host (Burt)]

I would love to hear from, like, IT people or HR people who've actually had to have that meeting, like, the

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

easy meeting or just not even the meeting. I'd love to hear from IT People say, look, this is how often it happens at our workplace, because the IT person can tell where everybody's been.

[Host (Burt)]

And you know what else? The IT person, too. Because I've done this before. Where, like, where I've had, like, on my laptop, my personal laptop. I've had, you know, I want to configure it to work with the wireless here in the station or do something at home. And I've turned it in and then thought, oh, Lord, what have I looked at in the past few days? Because, you know, engineers, IT guys, they can see everything.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

And they're judging you.

[Host (Burt)]

Yep. I convinced. I'm convinced that they can study it long enough. And look at my grandparents having sex.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

What?

[Host (Burt)]

Like somehow on.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

That's one of the videos on your computer?

[Host (Burt)]

No, I'm just. I'm just afraid that they can go so far back in my history that they can see my parents being conceived, because that's just what the technology that they have nowadays.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

But again, I'm just disturbed. I mean, not just sometimes I'm always shocked about porn at work, you know, because, I mean, here's the case. And this is not the first time since we've been on the Burch show that this has happened in the studio.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Right.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

You know, and like I said, in my experience here at the station, that is certainly not the first and Second time it's happened, you know?

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

So my question is, I mean, I know that men and women both watch it, but at work, is that a typically just male thing?

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

I don't know.

[Host (Burt)]

The I cannot get a response from Adam bomb.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

Well, he's probably not a shocker.

[Host (Burt)]

Send him a text message, but I

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

just thought we should give him a chance to defend himself if it was like, oh, yeah, my buddy sent me an email that said Chelsea Handler. And I opened it, and that's what it was. Then I wanted to give him the chance to send that.

[Host (Burt)]

Well, of course that's what he's gonna say. Hey, Jamie, welcome to the show.

[Caller 1 (Crystal)]

Hi. How are you guys?

[Host (Burt)]

What's going on?

[Caller 1 (Crystal)]

Hey. Well, this has happened to our computers at work. We just have a little small office with like, 11 of us or so, and one of the girls here, her computer just keeps getting bogged down with viruses, and we've just popped up, and there's porn on her computer. So of course, she'll never live that down. But we had the IT guy come in and what he has, because he had to basically, like, redo her whole computer because it was everywhere. He said if you go on Google, and sometimes if you click on certain advertisements or links, it automatically will send a virus in and it pops up to the porn sites and things like that. I didn't believe it until I went over to computer and I saw a couple of Hooters staring at me, and I went, hello.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

But I mean, but I've never. I've never, you know, clicked on one of those advertisements. Like, there's just a part of me that feels like most people kind of know that. So I think that so many people will. I'm not saying that Case will use that as an excuse, but I do think that. Come on. I think we need to hear from people owning up that there are people that are downloading porn for sure at work on their computers.

[Host (Burt)]

Hey, Crystal. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller 2 (Unknown Female)]

Hey. My sister, her. Her boss was out of town, and the CEO of the company happened to walk into the boss's office to get something and caught a employee giving himself some love while looking at porn in the boss office.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Wow. Boss's office?

[Caller 1 (Crystal)]

Yes.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Not in their own office?

[Caller 2 (Unknown Female)]

No, it was the owner's office.

[Host (Burt)]

Was this her own office? Was this during business hours?

[Caller 2 (Unknown Female)]

Yes.

[Caller 1 (Crystal)]

No way.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

There is nobody here in this office that I would ever want to see that happen.

[Caller 2 (Unknown Female)]

So I don't think there's anyone I'd ever want to see it happen with anyway, whether I Work with them or not.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

I knew I'd seen a statistic about porn at work. And I just pulled up an article that Newsweek had done about a year ago, talking about one quarter of employees who use the Internet at work. Surfer porn. A quarter of employees who have Internet at work, which is pretty much everybody.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Anybody in sort of a white collar office setting.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

A quarter of the people, 25%, are looking at porn.

[Host (Burt)]

So that means out of the four of us here in the room.

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[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

Well, obviously one of the computers is bogged by porn.

[Host (Burt)]

One of us. And Wendy's the one who discovered it.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Yeah, I'm just saying.

[Host (Burt)]

Wendy, Wendy, I think you know what, you need to check yourself. Come on. It's okay. Tiger woods admitted a problem and went to Mississippi. And you can go be with him.

[Co-host 3 (Crash Clark)]

Can we have our. Can we have our IT guy come and check your computer? Jeff?

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, there's nothing on mine.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Liar.

[Host (Burt)]

I'm serious. You can pull it up right now.

[Co-host 2 (Johnny O)]

Cause you already hit it.

[Host (Burt)]

Internet. I gotta be honest with you. Internet porn weirds me out. Like, it just seems too seedy. Gross. Like it seems like going to the peep show. Things behind the, you know, behind a store where they have the little holes in the walls and you can watch the girl through the hole in the wall. Like if you're gonna cash in, you're gonna watch porn. Spend $19.95 and get Playboy TV on cable. Like to watch it on a computer screen too. Chris Hansen.

[Co-host 1 (Jamie)]

Creepy.

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