Vault: Someone Wants Bert To Be Their Sugar Daddy?!

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Title: Vault: Someone Wants Bert To Be Their Sugar Daddy?!
Date: February 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, the cast of The Bert Show dives into a hilariously strange listener drama—Bert has been contacted by a woman from Russia, Evgenia, who ostensibly wants him to be her "sugar daddy." The team dissects the bizarre yet oddly compelling email exchange, debates its legitimacy, and draws the audience into a playful roast about online scams and internet romance gone awry. Amidst laughter, fake Russian accents, and real questions about catfishing, the segment unfolds as both a comedic narrative and a lighthearted cautionary tale about too-good-to-be-true online messages.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Mysterious Sugar Daddy Email

• Bert receives an email from a Russian woman, Evgenia, claiming she found him on "sugardaddyforme.com" and wants to build a “strong and happy family” with him.
• Bert reads the content of the email on air, using an exaggerated Russian accent, which becomes a running joke.
• Bert’s suspicions:
  • He never made an account on this website.
  • The broken English, urgent interest in correspondence, and generic compliments feel off.
  • He muses, “I don’t know if it’s a hoax… somebody’s jacking with me.” (02:23)
• The cast references past conversations about this website, leading to confusion about how Bert’s email could've been used.

2. Comedy, Skepticism, and Accents

• Kristin and the cast poke fun at Bert's accent, with quips like, “That’s pretty good, Boris.” (03:34)
• The group is both amused and distracted by Bert’s ongoing impersonation during the reading, emphasizing the comedic aspect of the segment.
• Memorable exchange:
  • Bert (on doing the accent): “It’s in me, man. Thank you.” (07:43)
  • The cast: “Like a real actor who's gonna stay in character all day, right?”

3. Breaking Down the Emails

• First email highlights:
  • Evgenia claims to have been ill and in the hospital but always remembered Bert.
  • She asks Bert to send photos and promises more details if he replies.
• Second email:
  • She thanks Bert for replying, though he never did.
  • Complains about men on the internet not appreciating her effort; wants “serious relationships.”
  • Shares personal details: city (Izhevsk), age (28), height/weight in metric, living with her sister.
  • Vows she is “not one of those” scammers and will never ask for money.
  • Uses terms like “vermins” to describe scammers—gets a laugh from the cast.
  • “I consider that it is not serious and a little absurd,” she says of professing love too soon. (10:23)

4. Is It Real or a Scam?

• Jeff reveals: He received the exact same email, addressed to him by name (11:21).
• Bert’s reaction: Realization dawns that it’s likely an automated scam, “Is Evgenia not real? Is Evania on the spot?” (11:31)
• Listener call-in:
  • Danny mentions a local consumer advocate talked about the same type of scams, explaining they ultimately ask for money for things like plane tickets.
  • Cast is mock-heartbroken: “It was Bigfoot and now Evgenia. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” (12:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert, on the email’s authenticity:
  • “Somebody's messing with me, I think. But I'm strangely intrigued…” (06:37)
• Kristin, on Bert’s accent performance:
  • “That’s pretty good, Boris.” (03:34)
• Bert, joking about Evgenia’s eagerness:
  • “She’s Russian, she’s drunk probably and she’s eager.” (06:07)
• Bert, on the second message:
  • “Wait a second. I never answered.” (06:54)
• Cast, analyzing the broken English:
  • “The broken English is really good broken English. If it were somebody who actually spoke English… it wouldn’t be that authentic.” (11:03)
• Jeff, bursting the bubble:
  • “No, I got the same email. She’s digging on you too. It’s spam.” (11:21)
• Listener Danny, on common scams:
  • “All they want you to do is send the money for the airplane ticket. Oh, that's heartbreaking.” (12:30)
• The cast, mock-despair:
  • “It was Bigfoot and now Evgenia. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” (12:40)
• Bert, reflecting on hope and skepticism:
  • “Perhaps it's just a coincidence that at the same time, Clark Howard, Jeff Dollar and Bert Weiss all became very attractive to Russian women...” (12:47)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 02:14 – Bert introduces and begins reading the Russian sugar daddy email.
• 03:34 – Cast jokes about the Russian accent.
• 06:00 – Email mentions include photo attachments and rating of Evgenia’s looks.
• 06:37 – Bert admits intrigue and desire to get “Evgenia” on air.
• 07:47 – Second email from Evgenia is analyzed for inconsistencies.
• 09:30 – Evgenia details life in Russia; cast debates legitimacy.
• 11:21 – Jeff produces the identical spam email, confirming the scam.
• 12:28 – Listener Danny calls in to confirm this is a well-known scam.
• 12:40–12:47 – Cast emotionally reeling at yet another internet disappointment.

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Episode Tone & Style

• Lively, playful, sarcastic, and self-aware.
  The hosts riff on romance scams, poke fun at themselves, and keep the mood upbeat despite the underlying subject of internet fraud.

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Takeaways

• Don’t trust random emails from strangers offering romance—especially with requests or promises that feel generic or too forward.
• The Bert Show leverages real scenarios to bring both comedy and subtle lessons to their audience, reminding listeners to be tech-savvy and skeptical of online advances.
• Even the hosts felt briefly “catfished,” making for an entertaining, relatable story.

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For more laughs and listener stories, check back daily with The Bert Show crew!

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hi there.

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We're looking to get to the campground.

[B]

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[A]

Great music.

[B]

I don't know how it's happened, but a woman in Russia has contacted me to be her sugar daddy. Oh yeah?

[A]

How did she find you?

[B]

I don't know. I don't know if it's A hoax. It'll start to come together a little bit as I read some of the email. Okay. And we can all follow along with what I think is going on because I think somebody's jacking with me. Okay. The first email, the subject line. And she's from Russia, so it's in broken English, so it's gonna be a little difficult to read. It says, hello, maybe my new friend. My name is Evgenia. I'm assuming that's how you pronounce it to me, 28 years old. I am from sugardaddy for me dot com. So right off the bat I'm thinking, okay, someone's jacking with me and put a profile of me up on sugar daddy for me.com and contacted this woman was my first thought because we talked

[A]

about that website and so many different conversations. For how long? I mean, it was like months a while.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, months, right.

[A]

And you never put us. You've been never put a profile yourself up there.

[B]

You sure? I'm positive. All right. Maybe I should try this in a Russian accent. Good luck. I don't know how to do one. I hope still remember me. Was that close.

[A]

That's pretty good, Boris.

[B]

Yeah, I remember you looking for women for serious relationships. That's what she writes. I had interest to you on this site more than month ago and you give me your email address. But later I get strong flu and to me was necessary lay in hospital all this time. I recover just a week ago. I'm.

[A]

I'm distracted by his accent.

[B]

But yeah, it's not hard to maintain. I sometimes thought of you in this time and I thought that you already not remember me. After my recovering I tried login sugar daddy for me but mine profile did not work there already. But I'm so glad that I saved your email in my notepad and now I can write to you this letter.

[A]

Oh my God. So this Are you sure is directly to you.

[B]

It says Bert all the hits q100.com.

[A]

Okay, so it wasn't some bulk email she sent out to everybody she could find.

[B]

Not that I know of. Now people may call call and say look, I got the same. Okay, I hope you will answer on it. Now some words about mindsearch. I looking for serious relationships here. Also I want to find my man and making strong and happy family in future.

[A]

This is so surreal with his accent, this music.

[B]

It's really hard because it long way for it. We should communicate much and long time what to come to it not so. I don't even know what the hell?

[A]

That means we should communicate long time.

[B]

We communicate long time. I know that this is difficult to find future love by so way. But I have no result in other ways and to decide to try this. I hope that you still interesting in me and will answer me back. I very much would want that you would write me more about yourselves and have sent me photos. I also shall send you mine photos and will tell more about myself if you answer. I applied my photo so you can see what I look like. Wait, your answer very much.

[A]

Nice job, dude. I gotta say nice wait till enter.

[B]

She's actually very much check her out. I'd give her, but I thought she

[A]

wanted your answer before.

[B]

She's. She's eager, man. She's Russian, she's drunk probably and she's eager. And I'm giving her an 8. 207.

[A]

Because you're married, right?

[B]

Well, I just, you know, I try to keep it American.

[A]

How old is she?

[B]

She has 28 years. The second email and I won't do this one in the really bad Russian accent. I am happy see that you answer to me. I never answered her.

[A]

Oh, somebody is messing with you.

[B]

Someone is messing with me, I think. But I'm strangely intrigued and I want to find this girl and I want to get her on the radio for us. The second email reads like this. Hello, my new friend Bert.

[A]

Okay, she calls you by name, so that's specifically to you. Yes, because you are not communicating much and long time.

[B]

That's what it says in the first one. She's mess.

[A]

I mean, somebody's messing with you.

[B]

Hello, my new friend Bert. It is Avenya. How are you? I am fine and become more better when receive your answer to my message. Wait a second. I never answered. Now I have some free time and I will answer to you simply. I get tired from men on Internet who even not read mine letters and answer on it by a couple of lines. And insulting for me because I spend usually not less than hour what to write letter.

[A]

Oh, she really thinks about what she's

[B]

gonna say simply I am not so good in English and sometimes simply cannot understand or not notice anything. I don't know. I thought you were gonna do this one in the Russian accent. You can't help it. It's in me, man. Thank you.

[A]

Like a real actor who's gonna stay in character all day, right?

[B]

I'm like Robert Downey right now. Yeah, that tropic thunder. Thank you for spend time to write me. So somebody wrote her back as me. I hoped that you will answer to my message and very glad to have your answer. It show that Internet really work. And then she starts to tell me a little bit about herself. Bring it on. I live in Russia, as probably you understand already. At city is Chevisk, I, Z, H, E, V, S, K. Just a couple of vowels in Russia would be awesome. I'm 28 years old. Doesn't seem right without this.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

My birthday is on 29. I have my shot of vodka in front of me. I'm ready to go. Of December. My growth is 171cm. Weight is 51kg.

[A]

Oh, metric. Damn metric. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

[B]

Ask Michael Phelps, he knows about meters and whatnot. I hope you understand how much it in centimeters and kilograms. Probably at your country you have other things to measure weight and growth. I live with my sister in apartment not far from center which we rent for us. It is she advised to me to try to search man through Internet in your country. Matter in that my sister one year ago, also using those agency acquaintances has got acquainted with one man. He live at your country, but he is Russian. He leave to your country already about five years ago. Until now he lived there. His name is Roman. Roman the Russian.

[A]

I think this is legit. I don't think anybody's messing with him.

[B]

But I never answered back.

[A]

He never answered her back. And she said that he did.

[B]

I am glad that mine sister have luck to find her soulmate. She was alone too long. Roman also was alone enough long time. He lost his wife before leaving to your country. If our correspondence will develop, we can talk by phone one day in future. I am very glad that with help of it all, we can communicate with you. And then she wraps it up. Okay, now I should finish and back to work. I hope my letter was not too boring for you. And you're still interesting in me. Probably you hear about scammers, people who use photos of girls and saying words of love and later asking for money. I hear in Internet it is a lot of similar vermins. Vermin. Vermin. So I want.

[A]

That is an underused word.

[B]

It's used in Russia way more than it is here. It's been used once. It's been used more than it's been here. So I want to say you that I am not one of them. And I would never start ask you money especially. I would never start right you that I fall in love with you. Because I consider that it is not serious and a little absurd. Said the l Word though I am here what you find right man, with which I can be happy and can develop serious relationships for real in future. Not for relationships in Internet. Signed Evanya.

[A]

I think Evan is the real deal. That's too good, Sweet Evania. Because the broken English is really good. Broken English. Do you know what I mean? If it were somebody who actually spoke English and was trying to write broken English, I don't think it would be that authentic. Jeff has a smirk on his face. Did you jack on it?

[B]

No, I got the same email. Oh, you did? She's digging on you too. It's spam. It is.

[A]

Did she say Jeff? Yes, it is. Does it say Jeff on it?

[B]

Yes. Aw.

[A]

Is Evanya not real? Is Evania on the spot?

[B]

I didn't want to break your heart. Yes, you did. You purposely just broke me in a. No, I don't. I don't know if I got ever got the second one now. There's a direct email address for her. Yeah.

[A]

@yahoo.com.

[B]

yeah, man. Yahoo all over the world.

[A]

Yahoo. Let's find her with our private investigator.

[B]

I really do. I was intrigued by it yesterday, thinking, you know what? I would really like to get her off. It's not a her. And then I thought, oh, it hurts.

[A]

It hurts that Ifani doesn't exist.

[B]

Don't. Let's see. He's pessimistic about love for me.

[A]

Though she might exist.

[B]

Here's what I thought yesterday. She accidentally emails me. I put her in touch with Trey.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Because she is fairly hot. Good morning, Q100 Burt Shop. Hey, guys, it's Danny. Hey, Danny.

[A]

Hey, Danny.

[B]

Hey, Clark Howard was just talking about the same thing yesterday on his radio show, saying that it is a hoax. All they want you to do is send the money for the airplane ticket. Oh, that's heartbreaking.

[A]

It was Bigfoot and now Ivanya. I don't know what to believe it anymore.

[B]

Is nothing real? Is nothing real?

[A]

Is nothing real?

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we're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions. Hi there. We're looking to get to the campground.

[B]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[A]

How are you getting a signal out here?

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Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

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