The Bert Show: "Vault: Suzi the World Traveler"
Date: November 3, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Guest: Suzi (the World Traveler)
Episode Overview
In this special vault episode, the Bert Show reconnects with Suzi, a former cast member who left over a year ago to travel the world solo. Suzi calls in from a crowded, chicken-filled bus in Mozambique to share insights, hardships, and funny moments from her journey through Africa. The conversation touches on culture shock, the reality of traveling in impoverished regions, Suzi’s looming return to New York, and her love-life “French guy soap opera.” The hosts and Suzi also reflect on the transformative nature of such travel and speculate about how re-entry to American life might go.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Suzi’s Current Situation in Mozambique
Timestamps: 01:05–03:14
- Suzi calls in from a crowded bus in Mozambique, painting a vivid picture of her surroundings:
- “They’re selling live chickens through the window. There’s many live chickens on board. There’s mothers and children, everyone sitting in the aisle. ... It’s a very hot and very… a lot of activity going on.” (Suzi, 01:08)
- Mozambique described as extremely poor:
- “Almost everybody here lives in, like, really a house with no plumbing, no electricity, made of, like, mud and grass. It’s definitely one of the most basic places I’ve ever been.” (Suzi, 02:17)
- On cell phones amid poverty:
- “No, the thing is, they don’t have electricity, but they have cell phones. … You can’t get your bill neatly in the mail. So… people have to go to stores to recharge their phones.” (Suzi, 02:43)
2. The Challenges and Surprises of Solo Travel in Africa
Timestamps: 03:28–05:26
- Suzi confronts safety issues and theft:
- “You get a lot of attention you don’t want. … I get off of buses and people’s hands are in my pockets. … Somebody just ran up and stole [my sunglasses].” (Suzi, 03:34)
- On the ever-increasing hardship and humility:
- “It can get harder. It can get poorer. It can get more basic, it can get more dangerous. Like everywhere I go I’m like, oh my God, more surprises.” (Suzi, 04:03)
- “Part of me is like, shut up and don’t complain. This is their life. You gotta just… deal with it.” (Suzi, 04:27)
- Travel fatigue and admiration for local resilience:
- “I was standing for most of [a 12-hour bus trip]. It’s hard. Somebody pin a medal on me. But people here do it every day.” (Suzi, 04:12)
3. Planning Her Return & Reflections on the End of the Journey
Timestamps: 04:36–06:46
- Suzi reveals she’s bought a ticket home:
- “I bought a ticket home from Johannesburg… I made it so that I’ll be gone a year, a month, a week and a day. Because I think that kind of sounds cool.” (Suzi, 04:46)
- “When I’m in a country this hard… wow, it’s going to be amazing to be home and have some comforts, you know.” (Suzi, 05:19)
- Tentative excitement about returning but also nervousness:
- “I don’t know how I’m going to adjust. … I’ll check in with you guys and let you know, but I think it’s going to be a little rough, at least in the beginning.” (Suzi, 06:24)
4. The French Guy – Romantic Subplot
Timestamps: 06:46–08:44
- Suzi recounts her brief but intense romance in Djibouti:
- “Met a French guy. We could hardly talk to each other. But something big and crazy happened for both of us. … He’s like, I’m gonna see you again. You’re my wife. I’m sure of it.” (Suzi, 08:04)
- Communication barriers add to the drama:
- “He doesn’t email. … He said he’s coming or that he wants to fly me to France when I get home. So it’s been really weird. … I don’t know what’s going on. It’s kind of a mystery.” (Suzi, 06:53)
- Would she detour to France if invited?
- “Of course I do it, no question, hands down.” (Suzi, 07:41)
5. Reentry: Transitioning Home and the Challenge Ahead
Timestamps: 08:44–11:32
- The hosts and Suzi speculate about reverse culture shock:
- “I think following you through the transition of being in New York City now… is going to be much more difficult than she thinks…” (Host, 09:36)
- “[This] is not a way of life anymore. It is my life. I’m moving all the time in crazy places, learning new things. I don’t know what’s going to happen.” (Suzi, 09:52)
- Will Suzi ever settle down in the US again?
- “I have my prediction that she will not live in this country forever. … She’ll have such a hard transition back… she won’t want to stay.” (Caller 3, 11:15)
- “We know it could be Paris but it won’t be Djibouti, that’s for sure.” (Host, 11:32)
Memorable Quotes & Moments
-
On Mozambique’s poverty and resourcefulness:
“They don’t have electricity, but they have cell phones… If somebody’s, like, not dirt poor, but just, like, sliding by, they have a cell phone.” (Suzi, 02:43) -
On cultural humility:
“Part of me is like, shut up and don’t complain. This is their life.” (Suzi, 04:27) -
On the travel grind:
“It took me a day, I’m not exaggerating you, a day to go 120 miles on a bus. That’s so crowded, so hot, so bumpy.” (Suzi, 05:10) -
On love in transit:
“We could hardly talk to each other. But something big and crazy happened for both of us… It’s just open ended. To be continued.” (Suzi, 08:10) -
On her journey’s timeline:
“I made it so that I’ll be gone a year, a month, a week and a day. Because I think that kind of sounds cool.” (Suzi, 04:49)
Important Segment Timestamps
- 01:05–02:39: Suzi describes her immediate scene and Mozambique’s living conditions
- 03:28–04:36: Hardships of travel; petty theft and daily local challenges
- 04:46–05:50: Suzi decides it’s time to go home and sets a “book-worthy” return timeline
- 06:46–08:44: The “French guy” saga & brief recap of their whirlwind romance
- 09:52–11:32: Reflections on how travel has changed her permanently and speculation about adjusting back to US life
Tone and Style
The tone throughout is candid, humorous, warm, and occasionally self-deprecating. Suzi’s storytelling is authentic, with moments of awe, laughter, and matter-of-fact grit. The hosts and callers are supportive, teasing, and curious, encouraging Suzi to share not just the glamorous side, but also the raw and real experiences of her journey.
For Listeners Who Missed the Episode
This episode is a snapshot of Suzi’s adventurous year-plus abroad, focusing on the realities (often tough, sometimes hilarious) of world travel in developing countries. Listeners get a candid look at cultural surprises, daily challenges, and an ongoing travel romance—plus thought-provoking exchanges about personal transformation and the concept of “home.” Whether you crave escapist stories or reflections on adapting to new worlds, Suzi’s journey offers plenty to relate to and be inspired by.