Vault: The Bridal Party That Fired Its Own Girls

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode Title: Vault: The Bridal Party That Fired Its Own Girls
Release Date: March 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the surprisingly common and uncomfortable reality of brides (and their families) making bridal party decisions based on looks, weight, and even pregnancies, rather than friendship or sentimentality. The hosts invite listeners to admit—anonymously, if needed—whether they’ve excluded friends from their weddings for superficial reasons. Candid stories from callers reveal a raw, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes darkly funny look into the politics of wedding parties.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Good Looking” Dilemma

• (00:01-00:36)
  • The show kicks off with a reflection on intern Joanna Rodriguez being left out of her brother’s wedding, possibly for being “too good looking” due to her Hooters background.
  • The hosts invite callers to confess if they’ve left anyone out of a wedding for being “too attractive.”
• Notable Quote:
  • “Is there anybody bold enough to admit... you purposely left somebody out of your wedding because they were either too good looking or not good looking enough?” – Co-Host (00:18)

2. Bridal Party ‘Aesthetics’: Confessions and Rationalizations

• Caller: “Brandi” (00:44-02:04)
  • Brandi openly admits to leaving out friends who didn’t fit her vision: “I wanted all of my bridesmaids to be like, between a two and a six... I left another girl out because she is way too pretty.” (00:56-01:18)
  • She says it was about how her photos would look and claims her choices weren’t public knowledge: “I didn't even tell my husband.” (01:58)
• Hosts React:
  • The hosts vacillate between laughing at the honesty and acknowledging the harshness: “They had to be skinny and average in order to get into your wedding.” (02:04)

3. Being “Kicked Out” After You’re In

• Caller: “Erin” (02:09-03:11)
  • Erin shares she removed a bridesmaid for being “a lot older and not so good looking,” but also because she was “rude... kind of a bully.” (02:16-02:29)
• Notable Quote:
  • “She’s ugly and she’s old. So I kicked her out.” – Erin (02:33)
  • The hosts joke about honesty being “a tough trifecta right there. Rude, old, and ugly.” (03:13)

4. Pregnancy as Disqualification

• Caller: “Sarah” (03:36-04:51)
  • Sarah was kicked out of a friend’s wedding party after becoming pregnant; the bride said “it just wouldn’t look right.” (03:47-04:41)
• Hosts’ Take:
  • The hosts empathize, relating similar but less harsh anecdotes, and note the cruelty: “I’ve never heard of anybody being kicked out for having a baby.” (04:36)

5. Other Rejected for Tattoos and Size

• Old Callbacks & Ongoing Stories
  • The hosts recall a previous caller disinviting a bridesmaid over a visible tattoo. (05:13-05:32)
  • “Stephanie” shares that her best friend, a size 28, dropped out because she couldn’t get the strapless dress in her size. Stephanie expresses guilt: “I feel kind of rotten because she’s been a part of every important moment in my life.” (06:20)

6. Family Pressure and “Momzillas”

• Caller: “Emily” (07:19-08:08)
  • Emily says her mother doesn’t want a heavier, less conventionally attractive friend in the bridal party, even though Emily was in that friend’s wedding.
  • “My mom just said, well, I’m paying for the pictures. I don’t want her in it because it’s so unattractive.” (07:39)
  • Emily feels powerless: “You don’t feel like you can stand up to moms because she’s paying for it, right?” (07:52)

7. Self-Doubt and Dropping Out

• Caller: “Nisa” (08:10-09:48)
  • Nisa’s maid of honor quits the wedding, feeling she can’t “stand up there beside me and my other friend” because of her own insecurities about her size.
  • Nisa’s efforts to reassure her were unsuccessful: “I told her that didn't matter...what mattered to me was that she was there.” (09:32)
  • Quote: “She’s always been very self-conscious about her weight, and so it just...it mattered too much to her.” (09:43)

8. Intentionally Selecting for ‘Comparison’

• Caller: “Melissa” (09:49-10:20)
  • Melissa openly confesses to choosing bridesmaids who were heavier than her so she’d look better by comparison: “I actually made them. Made sure that they were bigger than me and I looked better.” (09:56)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On ‘Rating’ Bridesmaids:
  • “I wanted all of my bridesmaids to be like, between a two and a six ... and I left another girl out because she is way too pretty.” – Brandi (00:56-01:18)
• Kicking Out for Age and Looks:
  • “She was kind of a bully ... And she's ugly and she's old. So I kicked her out.” – Erin (02:29-02:33)
• Pregnancy Disinvitation:
  • “She told me ... it just wouldn’t look right.” – Sarah (04:41)
• Mother's Influence:
  • “My mom just said, well, I'm paying for the pictures. I don't want her in it because it's so unattractive.” – Emily (07:39)
• Self-Exclusion:
  • “She couldn’t stand the thought of having to stand up there beside me and my other friend.” – Nisa (09:07)
• Blunt Admission:
  • “I actually made them. Made sure they were bigger than me and I looked better.” – Melissa (09:56)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |-------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:01–00:36 | Intro: Intern Joanna skipped from her brother’s wedding and speculation about her looks | | 00:44–02:04 | Brandi’s confession: Excluding too-pretty/too-plain friends | | 02:09–03:11 | Erin: Kicking out a bridesmaid for being “old, ugly, and rude” | | 03:36–04:51 | Sarah: Getting kicked out for being pregnant | | 05:13–05:32 | Previous call: Excluding a friend for having a visible tattoo | | 05:39–07:00 | Stephanie: Best friend drops out because she can’t fit the dress | | 07:19–08:08 | Emily: Mom forbids heavier friend from being a bridesmaid | | 08:08–09:48 | Nisa: Maid of honor feels too self-conscious, opts out | | 09:49–10:20 | Melissa: Picking heavier bridesmaids for self-comparison |

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Episode Tone & Style

• Open, Candid, and Darkly Humorous:
  The hosts keep the mood light even as the callers reveal uncomfortable, sometimes heartbreaking truths. There’s a mix of empathy, banter, and shock, with the cast and callers participating in very raw honesty.
• No Shaming, but No Sugarcoating:
  The hosts don’t judge, but they do highlight the superficiality and pain inherent in these choices.
• Engaging, Relatable Radio:
  Lots of personal anecdotes, willingness to laugh at the “awful,” and an open door for the audience to share their stories.

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Final Word

The Bert Show’s episode exposes the harsh reality and behind-the-scenes politics of wedding party selection—a blend of sincere confessions, societal beauty standards, family pressures, and personal insecurities. The resonating message: behind every “perfect” bridal party photo may be a not-so-perfect story.

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Transcript

[Show Host]

The Burch show.

[Co-Host]

Intern Joanna Rodriguez. She's not at her brother's wedding. And somebody called up and made an interesting observation that intern Joanna, as we told you guys earlier, used to be a Hooters girl. And general. I think the general statement is if you're a Hooters girl, you got to be pretty good looking.

Well into. Joanna is beautiful girl.

She's a very beautiful girl. So the accusation was maybe she was left out because she's too good looking. So I'm asking the question, is there anybody bold enough to admit. We'll put you on the voice disguiser. That you purposely left somebody out of your wedding because they were either too good looking or not good looking enough.

The phone lines are lit up sad.

We will call her. Brandi, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Co-Host]

Good morning.

Good morning.

[Caller]

How are you all today?

[Co-Host]

Good. We're looking for some honesty. You about to give it to us?

[Caller]

I do. I have a little bit. It sounds so superficial, but it's. I mean, well, it kind of is a little superficial.

[Co-Host]

It's very superficial, actually.

[Caller]

I left one girl out called love her to death, but I wanted all of my bridesmaids to be like, between a two and a six. You mean brides wise, who the hell

[Co-Host]

is in two to six? Sorry.

[Caller]

And then I left another girl out because she is way too pretty.

[Co-Host]

So you did both?

[Caller]

I did both.

[Co-Host]

One was too pretty and one was too ugly for you.

[Caller]

I mean, I didn't want to look back at my pictures and think like, oh, my gosh, she totally signed. You know, overshined me.

[Co-Host]

So you literally in the process of thinking who was gonna be in your wedding? It wasn't who am I closest to? Who will I know for the next 20 years? It was literally, they've gotta be be between a two and a six. And they have to be. They have to look a certain way.

[Show Host]

They can't look too good, can't be too fat, can't look too good.

[Caller]

Exactly.

[Co-Host]

Are you friends still with any of the women that are. Were in your bridal party?

[Caller]

Yes. Mm.

[Co-Host]

All of them.

What about the. What about the two that you left out?

[Caller]

Still? I mean, it wasn't like it was public knowledge. It was just. I didn't even tell my husband.

[Co-Host]

Sure.

They had to be skinny and average in order to get into your wedding.

She is not the only one. Wow. Good morning, Erin. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller]

Hello.

[Co-Host]

Hello.

[Caller]

I actually had a girl in our wedding, but then I kicked her out after I thought about it some. Cause she was a lot older and not so good looking and was kind of not nice, so I kicked her out.

[Show Host]

Well, the nice conversation.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

You invited her and then disinvited her.

[Caller]

I did. She was really, really kind of a. You ever met women that are just kind of bullish? She was kind of a bully. And after I thought about it some more, I was like, I just don't like her. And she's ugly and she's old. So I kicked her out. Oh, geez.

[Show Host]

Wow.

[Co-Host]

How did she react to that? And what did. What did you use as the excuse?

[Caller]

I just told her there was an incident where I had just. She's been rude, Rude, rude, rude, rude. So there was finally like a straw that broke the camel's back, or however you say it. And I just got enough. And I just told her. I was like, you're really mean and I don't want you around me on my special day.

[Co-Host]

Well, okay. At least there was something a little bit more than just her being old and ugly.

It had something to do with her personality.

[Caller]

Like that helped it a little bit.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, that's a tough trifecta right there. Rude, old, and ugly.

[Show Host]

Sorry, you can't be at my wedding. How come? Well, I've noticed that you're a little rude. Oh, all right, I'm sorry.

[Co-Host]

I can correct you.

[Show Host]

You're also old. Okay, I get it. I'm not gonna be normal and you're ugly. Oh, my God.

[Caller]

Stop.

[Show Host]

Where is there a bridge I can jump off?

[Co-Host]

And you smell.

[Show Host]

Yeah.

[Co-Host]

Good morning. Sarah will call you. You were on the voice disguiser. Hi.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Co-Host]

Hey. You sound like a dog would look with his tail between his legs like, oh, no, I'm in trouble.

[Caller]

No, this has been. Got to have been almost. Almost 20 years. This girl was my best friend. Supposedly we'd known each other for about five years, and I was asked to be in the wedding party and the dresses were being picked out and everything. And then I got pregnant and she told me that it would not look right and kicked me out of the wedding party.

[Co-Host]

So you got pregnant and then got kicked out of the wedding party?

And she told her. Oof. See, I know women that have ducked out when they got pregnant because it was going to be too close to their due date. And if the baby came, then they might have missed the wedding anyway. So I know women that have done that, but never. And I also know another woman who had to buy two bridesmaids dresses because she bought one in a small size and she got Pregnant. While they were planning the wedding, she had to buy a second one with more material. But I've never heard of anybody being kicked out for having a baby.

Sarah, what were the exact words she used?

[Caller]

Well, she was crying and she told me how much she cared about me and what a good friend I was and said that it just wouldn't look right.

[Show Host]

I mean, we get a phone call

[Co-Host]

for all intents and purposes. Isn't that why you get married? To eventually have a family?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Show Host]

Yeah, but not at the altar. I don't want any fat girls up at the altar. I get married. So I got good looking wedding pictures.

[Co-Host]

We've got a whole bunch of these to go through, including one call that I'll take from somebody. We're gonna call Emily in a second. Whose mom is keeping the ugly ones out of her wedding.

[Show Host]

We got a phone call years ago. I don't know if y' all remember this. Remember the girl wanted to kick somebody out of her wedding because she got a tattoo on her shoulder. Or she learned of the tattoo on her shoulder. And the way the wedding dress was cut, it was like, whatever it's called, where it goes like that.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Show Host]

And it would expose the tattoo and she's like, ah, that's a little too rad for me.

[Co-Host]

So bye. Bye for that.

[Show Host]

And called us up to find out the proper way to boot her friend out of the wedding.

[Co-Host]

Hey, Stephanie. Good morning. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller]

Good morning. Good morning. I had all my bridesmaids made who are pretty thin. So was I. Designer gowns, all strapless, and the one girl was a size 28. They didn't make the gown in her size. And the other girls were unwilling to change it. And I was, too. But she's still one of my best friends. I love her to death. But I was really relieved she backed out of the wedding.

[Co-Host]

Oh, she backed out?

Why? Because of the.

[Caller]

She couldn't find the dress in her.

[Co-Host]

That must have been so embarrassing for her. What a hurtful day.

[Caller]

Seriously, I feel horrible.

[Co-Host]

Still, you're lucky that she backed out, I guess. And you didn't have to have.

[Caller]

I guess so. But I feel kind of rotten because she's been a part of every important moment in my life. 3. Three kids later and everything. And she's still there. And the other ones kind of aren't.

[Co-Host]

Would you have told her that she couldn't be part of the wedding had she not backed out?

[Caller]

I wouldn't have told her. I would have, I don't know, figured out A way to change the dress or something. I was trying to talk to the boutique that carried gown to see if they could have it made for her in time. She was going to lose weight and everything, and she just finally said, I don't think it's going to happen. I can't lose the weight. And she hasn't ever lost weight. And, I don't know.

[Co-Host]

Much sad because that must have been, like, one of the lowest days of her life, too. And I have to call my best friend and say, look, they just don't make the dress in my size. I can't be part of this.

That must be terrible.

All right, how about Emily here, whose mom is. Is filtering out, who can be in the wedding and who can't be in the wedding? Hey, Emily.

[Caller]

Hello. Yes, she is. I recently got engaged, and I haven't set a wedding date yet, but I've got three best friends. Two from high school and one from college. One. Two of the girls favor each other. They're both tall and thin and long blonde hair. And my other friend, I've known her the longest. She's real short on the heavier side. And my mom just said, well, I'm paying for the pictures. I don't want her in it because it's so attractive. The bad part about it is the girl that she wants to kick out, I was in her wedding. Oh, my.

[Co-Host]

And you don't feel like you can stand up to moms because she's paying for it, right?

[Caller]

No, I mean, I understand what she's saying. She's like, I'm paying for them. It's gonna be a moment in time that's, you know, forever. But I just feel so terrible, I don't even know where to start.

[Co-Host]

You have a momzilla on your hands.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Co-Host]

Serious.

[Show Host]

That is what it is.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

So many different angles on this man. How about somebody that drops out like volunteers because she doesn't think she's attractive enough? Oh, Nisa, go ahead. You're on Q100 to get her to

[Show Host]

send us a picture.

[Caller]

Yeah, I got married a few years back, and it was a Small Wayne, so I only had two bridesmaids, and I'm kind of petite figure. And one of my bridesmaids was also. I mean, she's, like, beautiful. She's like 5 11, blonde hair. She's a knockout. But then I had one other friend who is actually my maid of honor, who is very heavyset. She's not anymore, actually, but at the time she was. And she came to me crying a few Days after, we all went shopping for bridesmaids dresses and told me how she just. She couldn't stand the thought of having to stand up there beside me and my other friend.

[Co-Host]

And she's the maid of honor.

[Caller]

Yeah, she was. So she ended up dropping out. I felt so horrible. And of course, she was still a guest at the wedding, but, yeah, it was. It was very sad. I felt so horrible for her, but I didn't harbor any hard feelings or anything because, you know, I wanted her to want to be in it, so she's gonna feel bad about herself.

[Co-Host]

Did you try to convince her to stay in it when she told you?

[Caller]

Oh, of course I did. Yes. I told her that didn't matter, that I thought she was. I thought she was beautiful. And what mattered to me was that, you know, she was there. And she's just like. This is just.

She's.

She's always been very self conscious about her weight, and so it just. It mattered too much to her.

[Co-Host]

Wow.

That's so sad.

It is, man. And here's Melissa. Good morning, Melissa, you're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Co-Host]

Hey.

[Caller]

I was. This is years back. I've been divorced since working on my second one. But first wedding I had, I actually made them. Made sure that they were bigger than me and I looked better.

[Co-Host]

So you purposely chose the women that were larger than you to be in your wedding party?

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah, because I was, like, real skinny. See, I'm from Florida, so I know that they ain't gonna hear this, but. Yeah.

[Co-Host]

Oh, you know, they won't hear you. I'm real skinny, see, so I'm from Florida.

[Caller]

George.

[Co-Host]

Girls are fat.

Land of nothing but skinny people.

So then everybody got in their cars and are driving south.

If you're fat and you're from Florida, give us a call right now. We won't get one call. We finally found the one topic. Man, we seriously could have done this for days. I was kicked out of the wedding because I'm not attractive enough.

[Caller]

Oh, man.

[Co-Host]

I was kicked out of the wedding photo because they said I was too big. We could have done this forever. Sucks, man.

[Show Host]

Well, it's a bummer for them. But the good news is for our intern, Joanna, she's too hot to be in her brother's wedding.

[Co-Host]

Congratulations. So that's your story. And stick to it.

[Show Host]

Nicely done. The Birch Show.

[Co-Host]

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