Vault: The Call-In Confessions That Prove People Will Lie About Anything For Love

Summary

---

The Bert Show – Vault: The Call-In Confessions That Prove People Will Lie About Anything For Love

Air Date: April 13, 2026

---

Overview

In this lively, humorous episode, The Bert Show hosts invite listeners to share their wildest confessions about age discrepancies and the lies people tell for love—or in the pursuit of it. Through candid call-ins and playful banter, the cast explores stories that range from harmless fibs to more elaborate deceptions, all revolving around surprises in romantic partners’ ages. The episode playfully asks: how far will someone go to bend the truth for romance, and what happens when the truth comes out?

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Age Gaps and Dating Surprises

• Opening Discussion (01:30):

  • Host Bert kicks things off by discussing a scenario where someone lies about their age to date “Wendy," setting the stage for listeners to call in with their own stories of discovering surprise age gaps.

• Maturity Differences (01:44–02:05):

  • Callers and hosts reflect on how age differences can equate to maturity gaps, especially between early 20s and mid-20s, and particularly between men and women.

2. Listener Call-in Confessions

“Cougar Among Our Friends” (02:14–03:19)

• Caller Story: Assumed her now-husband was older, but he was actually 7 years her junior.
• Quote:
  • “When he was born, I was wearing Madonna beads, singing like a virgin, and he was just being born, brought into the world.” — Caller (02:19)
• Felt awkward at first but now embraces the age difference.

Mistaken Youth (03:30–04:21)

• Caller Steve: Believed his date was 24–25; she was actually 19. He was 29, creating a 10-year gap.
• Hosts’ Reaction:
  • Bert jokes about the dangers of the age discrepancy:
    “19 is dangerously close to 18. Eighteen is really close to 16, which is dangerous close to 14, and that's like almost not even being born yet.” — Bert (04:07)

“Hit the Lottery” with an Older Woman (04:28–05:52)

• Caller Story: During a college internship, caller (22) dated a bartender thought to be his peer, but she was 32.
• Experience:
  • He admits it was short-lived; when she learned his real age, she lost interest.
• Insight:
  • Fantasy vs. reality: “She was cool ... but when she found out that I was 22, I got dropped like a bad habit.” — Caller (05:44)

“Summer Fling” Story (06:07–06:39)

• Caller Story: Female friend (25-26) purposely sought out a 21-year-old for a brief summer romance, knowing it wouldn’t be long term.
• Memorable Moment:
  • Bert likens the fling to a cat playing with catnip:
    “She's just batting him around whenever she wanted. She's having a good time.” — Bert (06:47)

“Engaged with an 18-Year Difference” (06:56–08:37)

• Caller Paul: 26, engaged to a 44-year-old woman.
• Quote:
  • “If you love somebody ... who cares about age, looks or whatever.” — Paul, Caller (08:16)
• Both misrepresented their ages at first, but ultimately embraced their connection.

“He Was 36, Not 25” (08:41–09:18)

• Caller Jenny: At 21, she dated a man claiming to be 25, who turned out to be 36 and married.
• Quote:
  • “Especially when the other women came into the picture and all that other fun stuff ... I thought my dad was going to kill him.” — Jenny, Caller (08:56)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Maturity and Men:
  “It takes guys a lot more time to mature.” — Caller (01:56)
• On Dangerous Age Differences:
  “So you dated an embryo?” — Bert (04:19)
• On Summer Couplings:
  “Round of shots from long term goals to short term goals.” — Callers’ Banter (06:16)
• On True Love and Age:
  “If you love somebody ... who cares about age, looks or whatever.” — Paul, Caller (08:16)
• Humorous Critique of Lying:
  “Was he a married guy?” — Bert (09:12)

---

Important Timestamps

• Age and Maturity Discussion: 01:30–02:05
• Caller Shares Age Drama with Now-Husband: 02:14–03:19
• Caller Steve’s Big Age Gap Realization: 03:30–04:21
• Dating Older (Intern & Bartender): 04:28–05:52
• Summer Fling Antics: 06:07–06:39
• Engaged with 18-Year Gap: 06:56–08:37
• Dating a Lying Married Man (“He Was 36”): 08:41–09:18

---

Thematic Takeaways

• Many callers say that initial assumptions about age are common, and the truth rarely comes out early (“most assume the age and then you find out later that it's not”—Bert, 09:19).
• The tone throughout is playful and confessional, with hosts and listeners alike poking fun at their own and each other’s stories.
• The episode highlights that people of all ages sometimes bend the truth about their age—sometimes for innocent reasons, other times for more questionable ones—and that, for some, love (or lust) trumps numbers.

---

This summary recaps all major themes, stories, and standout moments, capturing the fun and candid spirit of the episode for anyone who missed it.

Transcript

[Weight Loss Advertiser]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you that's F O R h e r s.com Bert Forhers.com Bert Weightlist by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go as a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s to get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi, clinical study information and restrictions.

[Energy Trust of Oregon Representative]

Visit borhers.com@energy trust of Oregon we know it isn't easy. The tremendous costs of maintaining a home, living in a house with drafty windows, poorly insulated spaces, or equipment that's running well past its prime. But we also know how to help you upgrade your systems, insulate your spaces, and replace what is old with new energy efficient solutions. Find cash [e-mail] Energy Trust of Oregon More power to you.

[Burt (Host)]

The Burt Show Today was your last day. Would you continue to lie about your age in order to hook up with Wendy? And I think the answer is probably yes to that. So Wendy goes out on this date. She's really looking forward to hanging out with this dude. She thought he was like 25. Yeah.

[Caller/Guest 1]

And he turned out to be 21

[Burt (Host)]

years old, which is really not that big a deal. But there really is like a big maturity difference, I think between like 21 and 25.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Well, he's in college, in a fraternity, and that's what he was really into.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Right.

[Caller/Guest 1]

And there's a big difference between guys, girls of that age too anyways, so. And he's younger too, so it takes guys a lot more time to mature.

[Burt (Host)]

So we're asking you guys what is the largest age discrepancy that you were surprised by when you were dating? We're gonna work our way up here. Good morning, don, you're on Q100.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Good morning. How are you?

[Caller/Guest 1]

Good.

[Burt (Host)]

How are you?

[Caller/Guest 4]

I'm good.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Love you guys.

[Burt (Host)]

Thank you.

[Caller/Guest 3]

When I met my. Now my husband, I assumed he was older. He never really lied to me about it. I just assumed he was older. When we started dating, he was still living with his mom. So I was like, oh, my God, you know, someone's living with his mom because I have a daughter. So it was a huge. It was a huge, awkward thing for me. I mean, when he was born, I was wearing Madonna beads, singing like a virgin, and he was just being born, brought into the world. I mean, it's really, really awkward. And I don't know. I can see Wendy's point. She wants someone, you know, that's stable, but 25 is.

[Burt (Host)]

Did I miss this? What was the age discrepancy? How many years?

[Caller/Guest 3]

I'm the cougar amongst our friends because I'm in a totally different decade than him now.

[Caller/Guest 5]

How old did he.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Seven years younger than me.

[Burt (Host)]

Seven.

[Caller/Guest 6]

Okay.

[Burt (Host)]

You thought he was how old?

[Caller/Guest 3]

I thought he was in his 30s.

[Caller/Guest 5]

And he turned out to be how old?

[Caller/Guest 3]

And he turned out to be 25. I was like, oh, my God.

[Burt (Host)]

I think that's on the wind side right there. Yeah, that's on the wind side. Good morning, Q100. Hey, Steve.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Hey. Yeah, actually, the discrepancy here is nine years.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay, nine years. Which way?

[Caller/Guest 6]

Yeah. She told you she was how old at first?

[Caller/Guest 4]

Well, she didn't say. I honestly assumed that she was a little bit older. Then it came out probably third date.

[Caller/Guest 5]

So how old did you think she was?

[Caller/Guest 4]

24, 25. Somewhere around there.

[Caller/Guest 5]

And how old was she?

[Caller/Guest 4]

19.

[Caller/Guest 1]

So she was way younger.

[Caller/Guest 5]

Hey, just for the future, when you're doing Math, that's only five.

[Caller/Guest 7]

Yeah, right.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Well, I'm 29, so he's saying their

[Caller/Guest 6]

age difference is nine years.

[Burt (Host)]

But still, that is a. That's a big one right there. Especially when you go down. 19 is dangerously close to 18. 18 is really close to 16, which is dangerous. Close to 14, and that's like almost not even being born yet. So you dated an embryo?

[Caller/Guest 5]

Yeah. Not to mention a felon. Not to mention a felony.

[Burt (Host)]

Good morning, Danielle, you're on Q100.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Hey, guys. I was down in Montgomery, Alabama, doing an internship my senior year of college and met a bartender down there, thought she was around my age. We hit it off, went on a couple dates, ended up hooking up and found out later. We just kind of scrubbed the issue of the age. Never really brought it up. Found out later she was 32 years old and I was 22.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay, that's hitting the lottery there at that age now were you excited about that?

[Caller/Guest 4]

Yeah, I was actually kind of. Like I told my buddies about, they're like, I can't believe that.

[Caller/Guest 2]

That's awesome.

[Caller/Guest 4]

I mean, she was cool and you know, I've always been told that I'm, I look a lot older than I, than my age. I'm 25 right now and people think I'm in my 30s.

[Burt (Host)]

So be totally honest with us because I think the, the stereotype or the fantasy is this. If you're 22 years old and you end up with a much more experienced woman, that she teaches you things in that whatever, six months or that year that you're with her that you can carry on into other relationships. Have you, have you found that to be true?

[Caller/Guest 4]

Not really. Okay.

[Burt (Host)]

Because I was trying to live out a fantasy week.

[Caller/Guest 4]

It was a pretty short lived thing that when she found out that I was 22, I got dropped like a bad habit.

[Caller/Guest 6]

I just wonder like. Yeah. Where the conversation goes. Like once she finds out you're 22, she's like, oh, so I don't know, I would just.

[Caller/Guest 5]

So how does it feel to be drinking legally for a year?

[Caller/Guest 6]

Yeah. I just think your interests are so different and your level of life experience is so different.

[Burt (Host)]

What do you talk about at that point? I think it probably changes instantly. It's like, okay, this isn't going to be long term, but maybe tonight we can get through this.

[Caller/Guest 6]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest 2]

It'd be a great story to tell.

[Caller/Guest 5]

Yeah. Here's how you get through it. Round of shots from long term goals

[Burt (Host)]

to short term goals.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Perhaps immediately living in the moment instead of thinking about a plan.

[Caller/Guest 6]

Yeah, a friend of mine did that for one summer. She was like, that was like her mission. She was like maybe 25 at the time, 26, something like that. She's like, I'm gonna have a youngin summer fling. And she full on met this 21 year old. They were together for two months over the summer and that was it. That was enough. Thank you very much.

[Burt (Host)]

Bye.

[Caller/Guest 8]

Bye.

[Burt (Host)]

And she was happy with the way it all ended. Totally happy with it, Loved it, thought

[Caller/Guest 6]

it was so much fun. But it was definitely from the beginning going to be short term.

[Burt (Host)]

You explained it like it's a cat with catnip. She's just Batting him around whenever she wanted. She's having a good time. She's sniffing from time to time.

[Caller/Guest 6]

Oh, he'll get over it. He was 21.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey, Paul. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Hey, good morning, guys.

[Burt (Host)]

What's happening?

[Caller/Guest 7]

My fiance is about 18 years. There's an 18 years difference. I'm 26 and she's 44. I think I did the math right. Help me out. But that's right at the same rate. You know, at first, when we first met, you know, I seen her at a club and, you know, doubt that she was at least 30. And she thought that I was. Well, she thought I was in my 30s.

[Caller/Guest 5]

And so you guys both worked it in opposite directions.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Yes.

[Caller/Guest 2]

So is it. Oh, sorry.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Go ahead now. Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest 2]

No, I was just going to ask if it. If it's short term, is it not creepy? Because, I mean, just again, to stay consistent, we always get criticized for, you know, how are we celebrating the big age difference if it's short term?

[Caller/Guest 7]

Yeah. Well, the thing is, is, you know, with the age difference, you know, me personally, girls my age, they just seem, you know, immature. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a little bit more mature for my age. Might be, you know, that's why I always dated older women. But, you know, on her end, she's like, age is just a number. Because at first it was a problem, you know, she was like, whoa, I've got a son that's a few years younger than you. But, you know, if you love somebody and, you know, who cares about age, looks or whatever.

[Caller/Guest 6]

And y' all are getting married?

[Caller/Guest 7]

Yes. We haven't set an exact date, but, you know, it's in the future.

[Burt (Host)]

Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you for coming. Bye. Bye.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Take care.

[Burt (Host)]

I'll take one more on this.

[Caller/Guest 6]

He did not sound 26.

[Caller/Guest 3]

No, he did.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Not at all.

[Burt (Host)]

Good morning. Jenny, you're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Hi.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey.

[Caller/Guest 8]

Okay, so I was 21, just turned 21, and started dating this guy who told me he was 25, and it turned out he was 36 years old.

[Burt (Host)]

That's large right there. So how long did it last after that?

[Caller/Guest 8]

Oh, not very long. Especially when the other women came into the picture and all that other fun stuff. But, yeah, 36 years old. My parents. I thought my dad was going to kill him. I bet he lied to everybody.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest 8]

Not fun, was it?

[Burt (Host)]

Was he a married guy?

[Caller/Guest 8]

Yes, he was a married guy.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay, that ends fun. Thank you.

[Caller/Guest 8]

Thank you.

[Burt (Host)]

I think what we learned in the Beginning there is most assume the age and then you find out later that it's not. You better know immediately.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

The Burt Show Weight Watchers now offers access to affordable GLP1s.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Weight Watchers has everything I need from weight loss medications to nutrition support and

[Weight Watchers Member/Testimonial]

help with my side effects.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

With our program, our members are losing more weight with expert nutrition and side effects.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Support weight watchers prescribing GLP1 medications. It's been life changing.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Better results, expert support Lose more weight, make it last get started for as low as $[e-mail] all medications require eligibility

[Weight Watchers Member/Testimonial]

and prescription first month. As low as $25 for the 12 month plus plan does not include the cost of GLP1 medications.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

This is the new Weight Watchers built for real life and real results no matter what mode you're in. Maddie went all in for her big day and lost 33 pounds. Emily lost 85 pounds and hit her goal while still living her life.

[Weight Loss Advertiser]

Weight Watchers gave me the tools and I feel amazing.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Join the millions of members and lose weight with the number one doctor recommended weight loss program. Lose [e-mail] at six months, participants in

[Weight Watchers Member/Testimonial]

the clinical trial of Weight Watchers program lost an average of £12.

[The RealReal Advertiser]

The most sustainable way to love fashion isn't to stop shopping. It's to simply change the way you shop. So change the way you shop with the RealReal. The RealReal is the world's largest, most trusted source for authenticated luxury resale. Every item kept in motion extends the life cycle of luxury and keeps it out of landfills. So whether you shop second hand on therealreal.com or exclusively purchase pieces you can

[Weight Watchers Member/Testimonial]

sell back into rotation later.

[The RealReal Advertiser]

Pass it on when you're done. By selling it with the RealReal you'll get money to shop. Loewe, Celine, Prada and more new to you finds. Then repeat the cycle guilt free. Sell to shop Shop to sell with the RealReal and only for the month of April. Earn $100 extra when you sell with the RealReal. Go to therealreal.com to get started and earn $100 extra this Earth month at therealreal.com terms applied.