Vault: The Condition You've Never Heard of That's Destroying Relationships

Summary

The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: The Condition You've Never Heard of That's Destroying Relationships

Date: March 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid and surprising episode, The Bert Show discusses "sexsomnia," a rare and little-known sleep disorder where individuals initiate and engage in sexual activities while asleep—without any memory of the events when they wake up. The hosts and their guest delve into personal stories, the real-world relationship challenges it causes, and the general disbelief that tends to surround the condition.

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Key Discussion Points

What is Sexsomnia?

• Host introduces a striking real-life case:
  • [01:02] The host explains how a friend's husband would initiate sex multiple times a night without recalling it in the morning.
  • After much confusion and discussion, they sought medical advice, leading to a diagnosis of sexsomnia.
  • Host: "It is a reality—sexsomnia, where you can have sex in the middle of the night and have no idea that you've done it. Just like somebody would sleepwalk…"

Personal Accounts and Relationship Impact

• Guest Testimony: Hayley's Story ([03:00]):
  • Hayley explains her ongoing experience with sexsomnia—engaging in sex during sleep up to four or five times a night, with no waking memory.
  • Hayley: "Most guys think they've hit the jackpot when I tell them about the condition from the start, but then they soon realize that it’s not great. Obviously, they're having sex with someone who's asleep and…it has caused a lot of problems in relationships before."
  • Strain on relationships: Partners become frustrated by the repeated nighttime disturbances and lack of sleep, often leading to break-ups.
  • Hayley recounts discovering her own diagnosis after an unsettling incident—being told the next day about all-night sex she had no memory of.

Hosts' Reactions

• Skepticism and Surprise:
  • Co-hosts express disbelief and try to find humor while respecting the gravity of the condition.
  • Co-host: "That is a condition that a lot of people listening right now are jealous of…That's crazy though." ([02:41])
  • They clarify the condition is genuine and isn't linked to medications like Ambien, which can cause different forms of sleep behavior but not to the same extent or frequency.

Medical Recognition and Misconceptions

• Conversation about seeking medical validation and understanding through research.
  • Host: "I found that it was real—so there are people out there, they're having sex in the middle of the night, four or five times." ([05:40])
  • Difference from behaviors induced by substances like Ambien, which typically trigger only isolated incidents, and not the repetitive, nightly events characteristic of sexsomnia.

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Memorable Quotes and Moments

• [02:19 | Host]: "If he's being honest about it, it’s a reality—sexsomnia, where you can have sex in the middle of the night and have no idea."
• [03:00 | Hayley, guest]: "I do love sex, but only when I'm aware that it's happening…"
• [03:55 | Hayley, guest]: "I explained my condition…that I suffered from sexsomnia, and he was like, 'Oh, well, I look forward to more of that.' But I knew he’d soon get fed up with it, which he did."
• [04:36 | Hayley, guest]: "…we were actually having sex until 6 o'clock in the morning, which was really scary for me because obviously I didn't know anything about it at all."
• [05:27 | Host]: "This person that I know told me about it and I didn't believe her, but she labeled it sexsomnia. And that's when I googled it. And I found that it was real."

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [01:02] – Host introduces the topic with a personal story.
• [02:11] – Decision to see a therapist; discussion of medical diagnosis.
• [02:41] – Co-host's reaction: surprise and humor, skepticism from listeners.
• [03:00] – Guest Hayley's story.
• [05:19] – Hosts react to Hayley's account, discuss legitimacy and their initial disbelief.
• [05:44] – Clarification that sexsomnia is not Ambien-induced.
• [06:03] – Recap: individuals wake up with no knowledge of what they've done.

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains the show’s signature balance of humor and real talk, blending genuine curiosity and concern with witty banter and incredulity. The hosts respect the seriousness of the condition while allowing space for surprise and levity, making for an engaging and informative discussion.

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Summary

This episode offers a rare and insightful look at sexsomnia, combining cutting-edge medical reality with the deeply personal and often misunderstood struggles it causes in relationships. Through Hayley’s firsthand account, the show illuminates the profound challenges faced by those with the condition and encourages greater empathy and awareness among listeners. The hosts’ mix of humor, skepticism, and thoughtful questioning creates a compelling entry point into a truly unusual topic.

Transcript

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[Podcast Host]

So this is not a friend of a friend of mine. And this is purely coincidence that she told me about this a couple of weeks ago. And then I, for whatever reason, was doing some show prep and linked from there to there to there to there to this story on sex omnia. And this isn't a friend of hers. This is. This happens in her home that her husband will start fondling her in the middle of the night. And this, it was going on time and time again. I mean, just. He was getting all frisky and she's like, all right, let's do this thing. So they get the freak on pretty good. And then like three hours later, it starts happening again. She's like, okay, all right. And then third time in the middle of the night, okay, that's really what you want, but Christ, I'd like to

[Podcast Co-host]

get some sleep, right?

[Podcast Host]

But you know, she's does her duty and she gets it done, right? And it was happening like three or four times a week before they both realized that, I guess they had a conversation in the morning one time about how much sex they were having in the middle of the night. And he had zero idea, Zero, zero idea. And I don't want to give out too many questions.

[Podcast Co-host]

He wasn't trying to, you know.

[Podcast Host]

Well, they went to it. They went to a doctor about it

[Podcast Co-host]

though, okay, because let's say it's a guy. You think, oh, honey, I don't remember any of those.

[Podcast Host]

They went to a therapist about it and they said if he's Being honest about it is it's a reality sex omnia where you can have sex in the middle of the night and have no idea that you've done it. Just like somebody would sleepwalk and walk downstairs and make a sandwich or whatever and then go back up and sleep and have no idea about it the next day. It is real.

[Podcast Co-host]

That is a condition that a lot of people listening right now are jealous of. No kidding. That's crazy though. And it's not caused by anything.

[Podcast Host]

Well, here is a story that was online. It was a news story about a week ago, and it's from a woman that claims she has it and it's not nearly as good as everybody thinks it is.

[Guest with Sexsomnia]

Hi, I'm Hayley and I suffer from a condition called sexobnia. This means that I can have sex in my sleep four or five times a night and not know anything about it until the next day when I wake up. I do love sex, but only when I'm aware that it's happening. Yeah, most guys think they've hit the jackpot when I tell them about the condition from the start, but then they soon realize that it's not great. Obviously they're having sex with someone who's asleep and it becomes a little cause. It has caused a lot of problems in relationships before. My last boyfriend left me because of the condition. We'd been together for about a month when he moved in with me, and the first night we slept together, he said that I was rampant all night all over him. I explained my condition, that I suffered from sexsomnia, and he was like, oh, well, I look forward to more of that. But I knew he'd soon get fed up with it, which he did. And a matter of weeks later he moved back out and that was the end of it. About a year ago, I was seeing another guy, told him about my condition from the start, but again, he soon got fed up with it. I was waking him up virtually every night for sex, up to four, five times, and he soon got fed up with it as well and couldn't cope with it. Weren't getting any sleep and he left again. I later found out that there was a medical term for my condition, which was sexsomnia. After looking it up on the Internet, I had a silly one night stand when I was younger with a guy who we had sex, went to sleep, and the next day he said, why, you're not tired? And I was like, well, we've had a good night's sleep as far as I was concerned. And he said, that we were actually having sex until 6 o' clock in the morning, which was really scary for me because obviously I didn't know anything about it at all. So that really freaked me out. That's when I started looking on the Internet, reading kiss studies about other people, and then obviously found out that I'd got this condition, sexsomnia.

[Podcast Co-host]

Believe that?

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[Podcast Co-host]

Four or five times. She sounds so serious about it. It's like you can take her serious. You know what I mean?

[Podcast Host]

I got my facts mixed up in the setup of the whole thing. This person that I know told me about it and I didn't believe her, but she labeled it sexomnia. And that's when I googled it. And I found that. And I found that it was real.

[Guest with Sexsomnia]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

So there are people out there, they're having sex in the middle of the night, four or five times.

[Podcast Co-host]

It's not Ambien.

[Podcast Host]

It's not Ambien. Now, we've talked to those people too,

[Podcast Co-host]

talked about that before, but that's not even five, six times a night. That's usually like once.

[Podcast Host]

Now what that will do is like turn like a very conservative person into like some sex kitten. And they have zero idea that that was inside of them. That's what Ambien does. This is people have no idea.

[Podcast Co-host]

Wow.

[Podcast Host]

Wake up. And have zero idea that they just had sex.

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[Guest with Sexsomnia]

Kyle again?

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[Alex Kanchwitz]

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