The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: The Condition You've Never Heard of That's Destroying Relationships

Date: March 27, 2026

Episode Overview

In this candid and surprising episode, The Bert Show discusses "sexsomnia," a rare and little-known sleep disorder where individuals initiate and engage in sexual activities while asleep—without any memory of the events when they wake up. The hosts and their guest delve into personal stories, the real-world relationship challenges it causes, and the general disbelief that tends to surround the condition.

Key Discussion Points

What is Sexsomnia?

• Host introduces a striking real-life case:
  • [01:02] The host explains how a friend's husband would initiate sex multiple times a night without recalling it in the morning.
  • After much confusion and discussion, they sought medical advice, leading to a diagnosis of sexsomnia.
  • Host: "It is a reality—sexsomnia, where you can have sex in the middle of the night and have no idea that you've done it. Just like somebody would sleepwalk…"

Personal Accounts and Relationship Impact

• Guest Testimony: Hayley's Story ([03:00]):
  • Hayley explains her ongoing experience with sexsomnia—engaging in sex during sleep up to four or five times a night, with no waking memory.
  • Hayley: "Most guys think they've hit the jackpot when I tell them about the condition from the start, but then they soon realize that it’s not great. Obviously, they're having sex with someone who's asleep and…it has caused a lot of problems in relationships before."
  • Strain on relationships: Partners become frustrated by the repeated nighttime disturbances and lack of sleep, often leading to break-ups.
  • Hayley recounts discovering her own diagnosis after an unsettling incident—being told the next day about all-night sex she had no memory of.

Hosts' Reactions

• Skepticism and Surprise:
  • Co-hosts express disbelief and try to find humor while respecting the gravity of the condition.
  • Co-host: "That is a condition that a lot of people listening right now are jealous of…That's crazy though." ([02:41])
  • They clarify the condition is genuine and isn't linked to medications like Ambien, which can cause different forms of sleep behavior but not to the same extent or frequency.

Medical Recognition and Misconceptions

• Conversation about seeking medical validation and understanding through research.
  • Host: "I found that it was real—so there are people out there, they're having sex in the middle of the night, four or five times." ([05:40])
  • Difference from behaviors induced by substances like Ambien, which typically trigger only isolated incidents, and not the repetitive, nightly events characteristic of sexsomnia.

Memorable Quotes and Moments

• [02:19 | Host]: "If he's being honest about it, it’s a reality—sexsomnia, where you can have sex in the middle of the night and have no idea."
• [03:00 | Hayley, guest]: "I do love sex, but only when I'm aware that it's happening…"
• [03:55 | Hayley, guest]: "I explained my condition…that I suffered from sexsomnia, and he was like, 'Oh, well, I look forward to more of that.' But I knew he’d soon get fed up with it, which he did."
• [04:36 | Hayley, guest]: "…we were actually having sex until 6 o'clock in the morning, which was really scary for me because obviously I didn't know anything about it at all."
• [05:27 | Host]: "This person that I know told me about it and I didn't believe her, but she labeled it sexsomnia. And that's when I googled it. And I found that it was real."

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [01:02] – Host introduces the topic with a personal story.
• [02:11] – Decision to see a therapist; discussion of medical diagnosis.
• [02:41] – Co-host's reaction: surprise and humor, skepticism from listeners.
• [03:00] – Guest Hayley's story.
• [05:19] – Hosts react to Hayley's account, discuss legitimacy and their initial disbelief.
• [05:44] – Clarification that sexsomnia is not Ambien-induced.
• [06:03] – Recap: individuals wake up with no knowledge of what they've done.

Tone and Style

The episode maintains the show’s signature balance of humor and real talk, blending genuine curiosity and concern with witty banter and incredulity. The hosts respect the seriousness of the condition while allowing space for surprise and levity, making for an engaging and informative discussion.

Summary

This episode offers a rare and insightful look at sexsomnia, combining cutting-edge medical reality with the deeply personal and often misunderstood struggles it causes in relationships. Through Hayley’s firsthand account, the show illuminates the profound challenges faced by those with the condition and encourages greater empathy and awareness among listeners. The hosts’ mix of humor, skepticism, and thoughtful questioning creates a compelling entry point into a truly unusual topic.