← The Bert Show
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- [00:01]
A
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- [00:04]
B
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- [00:15]
A
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- [00:16]
B
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- [00:31]
A
The Bird Show. Let's get Jennifer back on here. Hey, Jennifer.
- [00:34]
C
Hey.
- [00:35]
A
How are you?
- [00:36]
C
I'm doing good, thanks.
- [00:37]
D
Okay, now, I know a little beat down.
- [00:39]
A
You still tired from vacation?
- [00:42]
C
You know, not so much. I. I guess you'll understand once I tell you the story because she actually. She actually ended up leaving early.
- [00:51]
A
That's a lucky break. Okay.
- [00:53]
C
Yeah. So we go into this holiday and my husband called and explained to her that we don't let. We just bought a new home, so we don't let animals sleep in the beds or anything like that. So he told her that she couldn't if she was going to bring her two small dogs, that they had to be crated at night.
- [01:10]
A
Okay, let me stop you there for one. Just one second. Is that a story that you and he devised together, knowing that she would not like those rules? And maybe she'd say, then, I can't do this.
- [01:22]
C
Well, I mean, no, we didn't come up with it. That's just our week. We have two small dogs and they don't sleep with us. But we knew that she would get there and say, oh, I don't have a crate now. So we wanted to go ahead and, you know, just let her know early on that she had to bring something to put the dogs in. I will say that that's.
- [01:38]
D
That's a great boundary that your husband's setting with his own mom, you know,
- [01:42]
C
which is really great. And I thought that it was going to turn out to be great, you know, that it was coming from him because I thought, okay, well, maybe the problem is that last. The last few years or whatever that I've had to deal with her, everything's come, you know, from me. So I look like the witch, you know, I look like the one that. The bearer of bad news. So I thought it was going to be a good idea that everything came from him. And I guess it worked to my advantage because, you know, he told her that she was like, okay, well, I can't bring one of them because he'll cry all night. Well, she has one A new little dog. And he peed on everything in my house. He'd peed on the floors. He's peeing on the carpet. He peed on my new couch.
- [02:21]
A
Did you actually see the dog peeing all the furniture, or is there a chance that it was actually your mother in law peeing on your house?
- [02:27]
C
No, I saw the dog. And so the only thing that I did was I, at one point, like, the last time I took the dog and, you know, I just pointed its nose to it and I was like, no, you don't pee in the house. And I put it in its crate. So Christmas morning we get up and I think everything's going okay. And I can't mean maybe that really just pissed her off. I'm not really sure. But she ended up packing up her stuff after breakfast, and she left and went to stay with her aunt, with her sister that lives down the road. And so I'm like, oh. And I was in the shower. Like, she waited till I got in the shower. I was getting ready. I didn't even see her. She didn't say bye. She just packed up her stuff, packed up her kids and her dog and left. And so I come out of the shower and I'm like, where's your mom? And he was like, oh, she went to go stay with Raina for a couple. And so it was just her sister. And so I was like, okay, is she coming back? And he was like, yeah, she'll be back on Sunday. She never came back. She never talked about coming back. She never even called us when she got home. So I don't really know what happened. I don't really know what the turning point was, but there was no big falling out. There was no, you know, huge drama. She just.
- [03:45]
A
Is she one of these dog people that's so sort of dog crazy that she really does feel like it's like her children and nobody disciplines her children
- [03:54]
C
except her, you know, I don't think so. She could probably use that later. I'm not letting you know that I put the dog in the cage, but I don't really think so, because there was when she was pregnant, the last was Chris's little brother. Her mother's dog jumped up on the couch, and so she pushed the dog down. And the grandmother yelled. The grandmother's like that. And the grandmother yelled at her. She was like, don't you push my dog down. And she was like, I'm pregnant and he could hurt my child. And you're telling me not to discipline your dog? She Got really upset with that. So I don't think that she is, you know, that type of a person. But I'm sure somehow later it'll come back.
- [04:34]
D
Has your husband talked to his mom since she left?
- [04:38]
C
Well, I asked him that last night when we were at dinner. I was like, you know, did you. Have you talked to your mom? Did you get home okay? And he was like, well, she called me, but I was at work, so I hadn't called her back yet.
- [04:48]
D
How does he feel about his own mom?
- [04:51]
C
They really close? She had him really young. And so for the longest time, and even now, unless it's me, like, if someone else is talking about her, he's still really defensive, but, you know, he understands the situation between the two of us now. So if I'm talking about her, he knows that it's probably something that she's really done and he doesn't try to defend her. But they have a pretty good relationship, I would say. I mean,
- [05:18]
D
I've got so many questions for you.
- [05:19]
A
Go for it.
- [05:20]
D
I've got so many questions for you. Did you know she was like this before you married him?
- [05:23]
C
Yes.
- [05:24]
D
You did. You still married him? You really love him?
- [05:28]
C
I do.
- [05:29]
D
You really love him.
- [05:30]
A
You know, we've talked about this before. We've talked about this before. How, you know, I think a lot of people go into marriage and they're like, well, it's not about the mothers and the fathers. It's about the person that I love. And you don't understand, like, how deep that relationship is and how much interaction you have to have with the in laws. So if you're not getting along with them, if you're not getting along with them, you really got to reconsider.
- [05:52]
D
Has she ever tried to break you two up?
- [05:55]
C
You know, maybe all of that. Maybe the funeral thing, and maybe, you know, all the falling outs that we've had before, maybe that was an attempt to. Maybe she was trying to show him, you know, how bad of a person I was or something. But it really all came. It blew up in her face. And so it all came back to her. I don't really know. It was trying to break us up. It could have been. I know that whenever we got engaged, she was living out in Arizona, so I called her last because I knew that she was gonna, you know, we both knew that she was going to do something to upset me or something like that, you know, try to ruin the engagement. So when we called her, I was like, hey, you know, are you busy? And she was like, no, no, what's up? And, you know, they're obviously a couple of hours behind us, and she was still at work. And I was like, well, you know, I just wanted to call you and know. You know, she was on speaker phone. I said, kristen, I just wanted to let you know that we are engaged. And she was like, oh, no, actually. Actually, yeah, I am busy. I have to call you back. Click.
- [06:59]
D
What was she like on your wedding day?
- [07:01]
C
Well, she. During the wedding planning, Chris uninvited her. He was like, you know what? This is Jennifer's day. This is about us. You're ruining it for us. She's trying to plan it. She's trying to involve you. Even though you're so far away, just don't come. And so that really upset her, and she ended up calling and apologizing to me. So she knew coming into the wedding that if she wasn't on her best behavior, like, Chris wasn't hitting up with it anymore.
- [07:26]
A
Good for you for having a husband that does that, though. Like, I mean, we've talked to so many Birchell listeners that are in the same situation, and their husband never stands up to mom or never stands up to dad. At least you've got one that's got your back.
- [07:39]
C
Well, to my advantage, I have a really strong mom. And so whenever I have an issue like this, my mom's always been the one that's like, be a better person, and this is what you need to do. And you don't have to answer for her. You know, you have to answer for you. So when all this is going on, of course my mom, like, is trying not to laugh about all the stories. And I'm telling her, you know, she's trying not to laugh at me. But, yeah, she's like, write down everything that you feel like. Don't make it angry. You know, like you're cursing or anything like that. Just write it down. Because I do express my feelings better when I write. And so I did. I pretended as if I was writing her a letter to send it to her, and I called her to talk about it. You know, like, this is what I feel like, you know, you don't like me or that you are trying to sabotage me. And so I was trying. I made my best friend sit in the room. Because who knows? You like your best friend. You know, if I was going to get out of hand or with an attitude, I knew that my best friend would be like, listen. So I made her sit in the room with me while I read this letter to her over the phone and she wouldn't even let me get through it. She really, she bad talks My, my husband's dad, obviously they're divorced and he's remarried, so she badmouthed him a lot. And his wife and I'm very close to them, very close. And so, you know, like you talk about, you talk about my in law, my other in laws and I don't want you to do that anymore because if you can't say anything nice about them, I don't want you to say anything about them at all. Eventually I'm going to have grandkids and if you're talking about them bad to me, you're going to talk to them about like, you know, to my children. And I don't want that. So you won't be able to be around them. I'm sure you're going to talk about me around our kids. So she ended up blowing up on me and she was like hussing me out and stuff. And so Chris sees all of that. You know, he sees that I've made several attempts to make this positive and I don't know there's much I can do, so. Wow. Wow.
- [09:32]
A
Yeah. At this point, probably not. Hey Laura, good morning. You're on Q100. Good morning.
- [09:36]
E
I think this woman and I have the same mother in law. My mother in law never pulled a pink trick at the funeral or anything. But my mother in law, when I, when I got engaged, I was last. We were the told her last and she busted out tears and was like, oh, really great. Like she had a complete meltdown. And in my wedding when we said I do, all your hairs are busted out. Crying, she was like crying and I was like, I said my I do really loud. But she is trying to conquered several times. And I'm here to tell you I will be married seven years and I have two children and she is no longer a part of our life.
- [10:10]
A
Really?
- [10:11]
E
Wow. What do you do? I mean, you can't have somebody who's going to try to divide their family and thank God I have a good husband who's like, no, that's my wife. You're gonna, you're gonna respect her.
- [10:21]
C
If you can't respect her, you can't
- [10:23]
E
respect me and you can't respect the mother of my children. You can't do that.
- [10:25]
A
Yeah, Jennifer, that very well could be your future also, like eventually your husband may just have to say, yeah, cut the cord.
- [10:31]
C
Yeah. And I hope it doesn't come to that because, you know, like I said, I'm very close to my mom. And so I really want him to be able to have that relationship with his mom. But I. At the same time, you can only put up with so much.
- [10:44]
D
It sounds to me like she's just really unhappy in her own life. She's still bitter over the divorce, bitter that her ex husband's moved on, bitter about, you know, her son moving on and having a life and she doesn't have one, you know.
- [10:57]
C
Yeah.
- [10:58]
D
She needs to get a life.
- [10:59]
A
Yeah. And at this point, there's nothing you can do about it. You're handling it great, though. There's so many I bet that were listening to that going, huh, you know what? I'm gonna try to sit down and write a letter. Cause maybe if you're better at writing than you are, actually the face to face maybe a good option.
- [11:11]
D
And I bet there's a whole bunch listening that go, God, my mother in law's not so bad, right.
- [11:16]
A
All right, Jennifer, thanks a lot. Appreciate the update.
- [11:19]
C
Thank you.
- [11:20]
A
All right, bye. Bye. The Birch Show.