Episode Overview
Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show dives into a hilariously dramatic saga—a viral email chain sent by a girlfriend who did not realize her boyfriend had left for a two-week backpacking trip around Europe. The boyfriend, unable to communicate with her (his phone was off to avoid roaming charges), returns to a trove of emails chronicling her growing confusion, anger, and regret. The Bert Show team recounts the emails and offers their running commentary, exploring the escalating emotional rollercoaster captured in her messages.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Setting the Scene (01:02 – 03:30)
- Bert introduces the email chain as a series of on-screen texts, sometimes set to music in the viral video where the story first gained popularity.
- The story’s premise: A boyfriend travels to Europe; his girlfriend doesn’t notice he’s gone, leading to a sequence of increasingly frantic and emotional emails.
“During the summer of 2007, I had the opportunity to backpack around Europe for two weeks. ...My girlfriend, although great in many respects, was not the world’s greatest listener. I left on Friday, June 1… She never realized I left.”
— Narration, (01:30)
The Email Saga Unfolds
June 1 – Oblivious Beginnings
- 11:31 AM – Light-hearted and casual:
“Maddie, baby, smooch… Me and the girls are gonna hit up Maddie tonight. …You and the boys should come out too. Love, M.” - 4:00 PM – Slight confusion:
“Hey hon, me again. Tried calling… kept going right to voicemail. You’re not screening me, are you?”
Show commentary chuckles at the complete obliviousness and notes his phone was off for the trip. (03:40)
June 3 – Confusion Turns to Frustration
- First hint of worry and frustration:
“JD, WTF? Why are you not responding to my calls and emails?”
“I waited all night for you to get in touch with me. I'm not happy here, babe. Call me ASAP!!!” (04:00) - Empty email sent—possible accidental send in heightened state.
June 5 – Accusations & Conspiracy
- Subject: “WTF? What the expletive...”
“Why are you avoiding me? You won’t return my texts… Your friend Jeremy is such a BSer. When he said he hadn’t seen you, I could hear you in the background. I thought you were different! F***nut.”
(05:00) - Ultimatum:
“Last chance... call me tonight with the best excuse of your life, or I walk. A**hole!”
“Here’s where the crazy starts.” — Bert (04:45)
June 5 – Official Breakup Threats
- “I’ve tried calling your friends, your mom. What the f*** did I do? Was it just time to dump me?”
- “We’re through. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t bother. Now you’ll never know what you lost. I was the one. I feel so sorry for you—ha ha ha.” (06:00)
Show points out this is day five out of twelve, and her emotions are spiraling fast.
June 8 – The Rage Peaks
- All-caps, no subject:
“I HATE YOU.” (07:00)
The Bert Show laughs at the progression: “All the crazy buttons turn on hardcore.” — Bert (07:05)
June 10 – Revenge & Justification
- Subject: “F UUUUUUUUU...”
“That friend you were jealous of… I was crying to him about you… he told me how amazing I was, so I [slept with him] to show you I’m right. Now who’s the stupid one? Don’t cry for me.” (07:30)
June 12 – The Guilt-Ridden Plea
- Subject: “Read ASAP. JD call me. We need to talk.”
- Subject: “Just listen”
“I’m mad and hurt right now. I really felt something between us… You owe me a conversation. At least a chance. From M.” (08:45)
The Bert Show notes the emotional whiplash. (09:00)
June 15 – Bitterness Takes Over
- Subject: “I tried. I tried to reach out…” “I take back all those nice things I said. I’m glad we’re broken up. You’re boring as s***. I pretended so many times to like stupid things you liked… I realize now you bring out the worst in me. I’m a million times better without you. …So long, JD.” (10:00)
- Host notes the intensity: “She’s just unloading at this point!” (10:20)
June 14 – Realization & Damage Control
- Subject: “OPEN FIRST!!! DO NOT READ ANY OTHER EMAILS!!!”
“If you love me, you will delete every email I’ve sent you over the past week without reading it.”
(11:00) - The email reveals she finally learned he was in Europe after dropping off his things and running into his mom.
“Please, I’m begging you… do not read any email but this one. We’ve all made mistakes while you’ve been away. I can explain it all. Call me ASAP. I love you with all my heart and soul. From M.” (11:20)
Reflection & Lessons Learned (12:00 – 13:00)
- Wrap-up by the boyfriend:
“I read the emails. M and I are no longer together. I learned two very important lessons…- Careful when you date passionate people—passion swings both ways.
- When you go to Europe for two weeks, leave your phone on.” (12:50)
“That’s going to be a movie.” — Bert (13:00)
Memorable Quotes
- Bert: “Here’s where the crazy starts.” (04:45)
- Email from M (June 5): “Call me tonight with the best excuse of your life, or I walk. A**hole.”
- Email from M (June 10): “Now who’s the stupid one? Oh, I can get any guy I want.”
- Bert: “All the crazy buttons turn on hardcore.” (07:05)
- Email from M (June 14): “If you love me, you will delete every email I’ve sent you over the past week without reading it.” (11:05)
- Boyfriend’s Final Note: “Passion swings both ways. Sometimes they’ll love you, sometimes they’ll hate you.” (12:50)
Notable Moments & Timestamps
| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:02 | Host sets up the viral email chain story | | 03:40 | Reading first clueless messages from M | | 04:45 | “Here’s where the crazy starts”—beginning of angry emails | | 07:05 | “I HATE YOU” message—emotional peak | | 07:30–09:00 | Email about cheating for revenge; plea for reconciliation; emotional whiplash | | 11:00–11:20 | Realization and request to delete her previous emails | | 12:50 | Boyfriend’s humorous, self-aware closing lessons |
Summary
This Bert Show episode delivers a comical and sometimes cringeworthy narrative of how communication breakdowns, unchecked assumptions, and emotional extremes can create chaos in relationships. By reading and reacting to each escalation in the girlfriend’s email chain, the cast provides commentary that blends awe, disbelief, and laughter. The story is a reminder of how easily misunderstandings can spiral—and why it might be wise to leave your phone on during international trips.