The Bert Show: "Vault: The Greatest Revenge Stories"

Release Date: January 7, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Episode Theme: Listeners and hosts share their wildest, most over-the-top revenge stories, ranging from petty to outright criminal, often with an unfiltered and comedic approach.

Episode Overview

On this episode of The Bert Show, the team dives headfirst into jaw-dropping tales of relationship revenge. With the main theme centered on the lengths people will go to get back at an ex, hosts and listeners recount stories that vary in seriousness—from unforgettable pranks to acts with life-altering consequences. The show maintains its signature real talk, humor, and a touch of dark laughter as the crew oscillates between shock and incredulity at what some people will do for payback.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening: The Classic "Cut Up His Wallet" Revenge

Timestamps: 01:46–02:59

• Host kicks off with a "friend of a friend" story: a woman, after discovering her boyfriend’s infidelity, cuts up all his identification—credit cards, Social Security card, driver's license—so he faces headaches at the DMV.
  • "She wanted every minute he had to work on those projects to be thinking about how he screwed around on her." – Host (02:01)
• Panel discussion leans into how annoying and time-consuming replacing these documents is, adding a relatable, comedic spin.

2. Story Escalates: The FBI Terrorist Tip-Off Revenge

Timestamps: 03:27–07:46

• Co-host shares a "revenge gone psycho" tale: Annie, after being dumped, reports her ex-boyfriend to the FBI as a terrorist. She goes to great lengths—using his multiple alarm clocks and new flight lessons as "evidence"—to convince authorities.
  • “She convinced the FBI that those alarm clocks were set ... for different terrorist attacks that were going to happen around the world.” – Co-host (04:32)
• The FBI investigates the innocent ex, staked out his house, questioned neighbors, and appeared at his workplace.
• Discussion acknowledges the depth of damage and danger of this escalation, with the crew unequivocally condemning it as "totally over the top" and "absolutely wrong."
  • "I mean, seriously, seriously mess with this guy's life just because she was a bitter ex girlfriend. Can you believe that?" – Co-host (06:44)
• Panel debates whether the ex ever found out about Annie’s involvement; it’s revealed she told him herself, bragging about her actions.

3. Listener Calls: True-Life Revenge Confessions

a. Michelle’s Call: False Abuse Allegation

Timestamps: 08:19–10:50

• Michelle (with voice disguiser) recounts her freshman-year revenge: after her boyfriend cheated, she falsely reported him to police for physical abuse, then involved local TV. He spent months in jail, eventually taking a plea bargain to get released.
  • “I went to the police and I said he had been physically abusing me...he ended up spending a year in jail.” – Caller Michelle (09:04, 09:12)
• Show hosts react with shock, questioning how she can live with the guilt.
  • "How do you live with yourself, though? This dude spent a year in jail." – Host (09:25)
• Michelle expresses regret now, sharing, “I do feel bad. And I even at one point tried to contact him...But I never did.” (09:48)
• Hosts emphatically declare this crossed the line, especially compared to prior stories.

b. Christina’s Call: The “Soft Prank” Approach

Timestamps: 10:57–11:37

• Christina shares a less extreme, classic prank: after breakup, she orders dozens of pizzas, flowers, and liquor deliveries for her ex—“all on the same day”—just to annoy him.
  • “I called all the pizza shops for about 30 blocks, ordered as many pizzas as I could have delivered to his address.” – Caller Christina (10:57)
• Hosts and co-hosts cheer this as the right kind of revenge—funny, not truly harmful.
  • "See, now those are the calls I thought we would end up getting." – Host (11:32)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the "cut up his wallet" revenge:
  "She wanted every minute he had to work on those projects to be thinking about how he screwed around on her." – Host (02:01)
• On the FBI/terrorist tip-off:
  "She convinced the FBI that those alarm clocks were set ... for different terrorist attacks that were going to happen around the world." – Co-host (04:32)
• Moral shock at escalations:
  "I mean, seriously, seriously mess with this guy's life just because she was a bitter ex girlfriend. Can you believe that?" – Co-host (06:44)
• On calling the police with a false accusation:
  "How do you live with yourself, though? This dude spent a year in jail." – Host (09:25) "You took six months out of this guy's life over this?" – Host (10:20)
• On the pizza prank:
  "See, now those are the calls I thought we would end up getting." – Host (11:32)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:46 — Host tells the "cut up his wallet" revenge story
• 03:27 — "Annie" reports her ex to the FBI as a terrorist
• 08:19 — Michelle calls in with her false abuse allegation revenge
• 10:57 — Christina calls in with her prank pizza/flowers revenge

Conclusion & Tone

The episode is a roller coaster of shocking, sometimes disturbing, but often hilarious stories. The hosts balance their signature playful banter with moments of moral reckoning, especially when stories cross ethical or legal lines. There’s clear appreciation for the lighter, prankish efforts—but horror and discomfort when revenge devolves into criminality or life-altering harm.

The show closes with a consensus that while revenge stories can be funny or cathartic to hear, there are real consequences when boundaries are crossed—both for the victims and, in the long run, for the perpetrators themselves.