The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: The Most Ridiculous 911 Call You'll Ever Hear
Date: March 24, 2026

Episode Overview

In this hilarious and lighthearted episode, The Bert Show team dives into one of the wildest and most absurd 911 calls they've ever come across. This time, it's the story of a woman who called emergency services not once, but three times—because her local McDonald's ran out of Chicken McNuggets and refused to give her a refund. The panel laughs their way through the audio, discusses the logic (or lack thereof) behind calling 911 for fast food grievances, and brings in listeners to share their thoughts, all while celebrating the kind of real-life comedy that only a morning radio show can provide.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Recent Trend of Ridiculous 911 Calls

• The crew notes a recent upswing in the circulation of comically unnecessary 911 calls, likening it to "America's Funniest Home Videos" but for emergency dispatches.
  • "It's almost like Funniest Home Videos—it's funniest 911 calls." (C, 01:15)
• The process: Many 911 calls are public record, so quirky calls can be easily requested and shared when someone finds out about them.
  • "Somebody might do is if they work there, come out and go, 'Hey, I got a call at 4:45 today,' and tell a friend... then a friend can submit a public records thing and get a copy of it, which may be what happened with this one." (C, 02:03)

2. The McNugget Incident – Call #1

• The first call is played: Latricia calls 911 because she paid for McNuggets, but McDonald's was out and the manager wouldn’t give a refund or let her substitute anything else she wanted.
  • [02:42] Latricia: "I want a chicken nugget. That's why... she didn't have that, so... just give me all my money back and I don't want anything. And she's telling me she can't refund my money now... she can't force me to eat something that I don't want."
• The panel reacts with disbelief but also some empathy for her craving:
  • "When you got your craving, you got your craving." (E, 02:42)
  • "I appreciate the 911 attendant's patience... Have you spoken with a manager? I really want to help." (C, 04:18)

3. Was the Response Justified?

• The cast wonders about the obligations of 911 call takers and whether “funny” calls like these should be dismissed or handled with caution in case there’s an underlying issue.
  • "Operators should be able to declare you an idiot and just let that be the end of it." (C, 04:05)

4. McNugget Incident Escalation – Calls #2 & #3

• Latricia calls 911 two more times, growing increasingly frustrated but repeating the same complaint.
  • [04:42] 911 Operator: "Okay, what's going on?"
  • [04:48] Latricia: (Repeats her story—wants refund, not getting it, being offered only substitutions she doesn’t want.)
• The panel jokes about police priorities and what else might get missed while dealing with a “Six-Piece Emergency.”
  • "How mad are you if your house is getting broken into... and you're researching a six piece McNugget?" (C, 05:59)
  • "The officer who gets dispatched to handle this call is the equivalent of the TV reporter who has to go stand in the rain during a hurricane." (C, 06:21)

5. The Outcome

• On the third call, the 911 operator finally disconnects while Latricia is still venting.
  • [07:26] "The 911 operator disconnected the call." (C)
• Latricia reportedly received a ticket for misuse of 911, rather than a full arrest.
  • "She got a ticket for misuse of 911 or whatever." (C, 07:44)

6. Listener Reactions & Panel Debate

• Keisha calls in, siding with Latricia, insisting she would also call 911 if a manager tried to “steal” her money.
  • [08:36] "I would call the police too. I want my money back because before I knock this manager out, I'm calling the police because I want my money back." (Keisha)
  • "I wouldn't call three times, but I would call the police and I would call 911." (Keisha, 08:50)
• The panel debates whether this is an emergency or overblown, offering more reasonable steps (walk out, get manager’s name, email corporate).
  • "You walk out of the restaurant and you... get the manager's name and you deal with it later." (C, 08:58)
  • "You send an email to corporate." (D, 09:03)

7. Public Safety Professional Opinion

• Steve, a dispatcher, calls in and shares that, while misuse is common, there is a small “validity” since technically the manager can’t keep your money without refunding it.
  • [09:20] "Yeah, I mean, 911 gets some of the wackiest calls because I work in public safety... there’s, I guess, some minute validity behind it because technically, the manager just cannot hold on to your money." (Steve)
  • Steve also shares the “most hilarious” call he’s heard: a woman phoned 911 asking to see an officer again because “she thought the officer was cute.” (09:47)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "All it takes is one [funny 911 call] and then they start looking for others." (E, 01:15)
• "I really want to help. I really want to help." (C, 04:18)
• "You're dispatching an officer for this? Seriously?" (E, 06:05)
• "She did get arrested... well, she got a ticket for misuse of 911 or whatever." (C, 07:44)
• "I would call 911 too! What are you supposed to do, call information and get the nearest police station?" (Keisha, 08:50)
• "Technically, the manager just cannot hold on to your money. If the customer's asking for a refund, they have to give it back." (Steve, 09:20)

Timestamped Highlights

• [01:09] – The show introduces the topic of viral 911 calls.
• [02:32] – The story of Latricia and the McNugget incident is summarized.
• [02:42–03:50] – The first 911 call is played in full.
• [04:42–05:59] – Second call playback; panel’s incredulous reactions.
• [06:42–07:26] – Third call ends with the operator hanging up.
• [07:44] – Latricia receives a ticket for misuse of 911.
• [08:36] – Listeners Keisha and Steve call in, siding (somewhat) with Latricia and sharing public safety insight.

Tone and Style

The episode is lighthearted, genuinely funny, and peppered with the real-life camaraderie, banter, and empathy that defines The Bert Show. The tone is playful but thoughtful, occasionally dipping into sincere conversations about what constitutes a “worthy” emergency—always with a smile.

Conclusion

Whether recounting the McNugget debacle or fielding real calls from listeners, The Bert Show masterfully balances genuine empathy with outright hilarity. This episode serves up a potent mix of laughter, relatable outrage (who hasn’t craved nuggets?), and a gentle reminder not to tie up emergency lines—unless, of course, it’s for love or something actually urgent.