"Vault: The Psycho Hall Of Fame" – The Bert Show

Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Date: December 18, 2025
Cast Featured: Jen, Melissa, Kerry, Amy, with several listener call-ins

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives deep into the wild and humorous tradition of inducting new members into the show's "Psycho Hall of Fame." In this tongue-in-cheek segment, hosts and listeners recount outlandish and over-the-top stories of relationship-induced "psycho" behavior—from stalking and elaborate ruses to property damage and police involvement. With a lighthearted, self-deprecating tone, the cast and callers celebrate infamous moments of romantic obsession, ultimately selecting a new inductee into this dubious—and hilarious—hall of fame.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins of the Psycho Hall of Fame

• Jen sets the stage by recalling Stacy, the show's original and most notorious inductee:
  • "She's the model on the trophy... She's got that Heisman pose going on. Except for a football in her hand, she's got a knife, right?" (01:16–01:21)
• Melissa and Jen discuss how the hall grew to include more extreme—and comical—tales of romantic obsession.

2. Legendary Psycho Stories from Past Inductees

• Caller Tina’s classic tale:
  • Obsessed with an unattainable bachelor, she:
    • Bought a second cell phone with a different number.
    • Had a friend record a greeting as "Nicole" (the woman her crush talked about).
    • Secretly switched contact numbers in her crush’s phone, rerouting his calls intended for Nicole to this new number.
    • "Every time he would call her and leave her voicemails... I would just happen to be outside the restaurant or happen to be by the bar." – Amy recounting Tina’s actions (02:33–02:50)
  • Jen: "That's what gets you into the Psycho hall of Fame, right there." (02:50–02:56)

3. This Year’s Nominations: Listener Stories

Nominee #1: Kimberly – The Paint Roller Window Incident

• Kimberly shares:
  • At age 20, after her boyfriend locked her out during an argument, she smashed two of his windows with a paint roller.
  • Despite this, she later married him.
  • "I don't lose my temper very often, but it was bad." – Kimberly (03:49–03:56)
  • Jen: "Serious anger management classes." (03:56)

Nominee #2: Amy – Faking a Panic Attack in the Hospital

• Amy confesses:
  • Suspecting her now-husband was with someone else, she enlisted her roommate to fake a medical emergency.
  • She staged severe hyperventilation in the ER, and had her roommate inform her boyfriend she was in the hospital.
  • "I went completely through with this, went to the emergency room, acted like I couldn't breathe... and to this day, still claim that I was having a panic attack." (04:11–04:49)

Nominee #3: Kerry – The Police Intervention Hoax

• Kerry’s story:
  • Long-distance fight: boyfriend unplugs the phone to avoid her calls.
  • She calls the local police and fakes a story about a knock at his door, prompting police to visit and tell him to call her.
  • "The police went over to his apartment, knocked on the door and said, you need to call Kerry back." (06:11–06:42)

4. Enabler Stories and Group Reflection

• The hosts and listeners also reflect on the enablers—friends who fuel these antics:
  • Melissa:
    • Helped a friend slash an ex’s tires to keep him from another date.
    • "Her thought was that he's gonna have to spend all of his money to replace those tires rather than spend his money on the other girl he was dating." (05:51–05:58)
  • Group discusses how women sometimes rally around each other for these "psycho" missions.
    • Kerry: "It's frightening." (05:07)
    • Jen: "There should be another hall for the friends that enable this kind of thing." (05:20)

5. Voting and Induction into the Hall of Fame

• Recap of nominees:
  • Kimberly: Paint roller through two windows.
  • Amy: Faked panic attack and ER visit.
  • Kerry: Called police with a fake emergency.
• Melissa and Jen vote for Amy (the hospital faker) due to time invested and the friend/accomplice angle.
  • Kerry casts a dissenting (but admiring) vote for the cop-caller, calling Kerry’s effort "felonious."
    • "I respect the fact that Kerry was willing to commit a felony filing a false police report... My vote is for felonious Kerry." (07:44–08:02)
• Amy is inducted as the winner (08:06–08:09).
• Jen: "Congratulations, you have been inducted into the virtual Psycho hall of Fame." (08:07–08:09)

6. Insights and Running Themes

• Nearly all nominees married the men involved in their "psycho" tales.
  • "The good news is, is that if you go psycho on a guy, he's gonna end up being your husband." – Jen (08:32–08:36)
• Joking advice from hosts:
  • Melissa: "As a woman, I think…the theme through all of this is guys, don't cut your girlfriends off when you're talking to them. That's what happened in all three of these incidents." (08:14–08:26)
  • Kerry: "Decided there's gotta be a limit. Like, can it be four hours?" (08:26–08:29)
• Event ends with a mock "Psycho Hall of Fame Oath," recited with glee and self-awareness, swearing off further infractions. (08:45–09:52)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jen (on the original inductee):
  "She's the model on the trophy... She's got that Heisman pose going on. Except for a football in her hand, she's got a knife, right?" (01:16–01:21)

• Amy (ER faker):
  "I went completely through with this, went to the emergency room, acted like I couldn't breathe, hyperventilated for three hours, and to this day, still claim that I was having a panic attack." (04:39–04:49)

• Melissa (theme reflection):
  "As a woman, I think…the theme through all of this is guys, don't cut your girlfriends off when you're talking to them." (08:14–08:26)

• Jen (tongue-in-cheek wisdom):
  "The good news is, is that if you go psycho on a guy, he's gonna end up being your husband." (08:32–08:36)

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:04: Launch of Psycho Hall of Fame segment
• 01:16–01:32: Recap of original Hall of Famer, "Psycho Stacy"
• 02:29–02:50: The "Tina" cell phone sabotage story
• 03:11–03:56: Kimberly’s window-breaking confession
• 04:11–04:49: Amy’s ER panic attack ruse
• 06:12–06:42: Kerry’s prank-police call on her boyfriend
• 07:31–08:09: Voting and winner announcement
• 08:45–09:52: The Psycho Hall of Fame Oath

Tone and Style

True to The Bert Show’s signature energy, the tone is lively, irreverent, and self-mocking. Stories are told with a blend of embarrassment, giddy nostalgia, and communal laughter. The hosts mix sharp one-liners, teasing, and "real talk" as they explore the extreme lengths people go to for love—or at least, for relationship attention.

Summary Takeaway

The "Vault: The Psycho Hall Of Fame" episode is a laugh-out-loud confessional where everyone—hosts and listeners—own up to their wildest, most irrational romantic antics. By voting in the queen of elaborate hospital schemes, the show cheekily salutes the unpredictable, passionate, and occasionally "crazy" side of love, all while reminding listeners that every psycho has their day… and sometimes even a husband at the end of it.