Vault: The Show Roasts Jeff For Hosting A Couple's Baby Shower

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: The Show Roasts Jeff For Hosting A Couple's Baby Shower

Date: March 31, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode takes a hilarious, candid dive into team member Jeff Dollar’s recent experience hosting a couple’s baby shower—something he’s loudly criticized in the past. The rest of the Bert Show crew takes the opportunity to lovingly roast Jeff for what they see as a complete reversal of his long-held stance against men participating in or, especially, hosting such events. The episode is packed with good-natured ribbing, moments of self-reflection, and the usual humorous banter among the cast.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jeff’s “Sell-Out”: A Change of Heart or Bamboozled?

[01:30 - 04:10]

• Jeff opens by admitting he feels like he’s “gonna get an ass kicking” for his newfound involvement in a baby shower, emphasizing that he was “tricked out of [his] own ignorance.”
• The crew quickly points out Jeff’s previous hardline stance that baby showers are strictly “a girl thing to do.” Jeff quotes:

  “I think anybody who has a couple's baby shower should be hit with rocks.” (Jeff Dollar, 03:06)

• Jessica and the others remind Jeff that when Producer Tracy’s baby was discussed, Jeff had previously refused involvement, reinforcing that this was a stark reversal.
• Burt and Doug recall their own resistance to couple’s baby showers, building camaraderie but also delighting in Jeff’s hypocrisy.

2. How It Happened: The Ambush-by-Dinner

[04:19 - 06:54]

• Jeff explains the event evolved from Jessica’s suggestion of a casual dinner with expecting friends. He didn’t realize until late in the process that it was, in fact, a baby shower in disguise.
• The “invitation” didn’t explicitly say “shower,” which Jeff says was how his guard was lowered.
• Doug chimes in:

  “This is how women camouflage for you guys… they’re camouflaging and disguising these couple showers as something else.” (Doug, 05:18)

• A package at home with baby-themed cookies and a cutesy card should have been a giveaway, but Jeff missed the clues.

3. At the Event: Participation (and Decoration) Confirmed

[06:31 - 08:27]

• At the restaurant, Jeff realized the scale of the baby shower, including decorations and games.
• Confirming his “guilt,” Jeff helped hang the banner and passed around gifts during the event.

• “I had to put the banner up.” (Jeff Dollar, 07:01)

• Preston needles Jeff about participating in activities (“Did you write down the list for the thank you notes?”), and Jeff admits some involvement, though Jessica did the thank you notes.

4. The Aftermath: Roasting and Forced Confession

[08:27 - 11:50]

• Jeff describes feeling immediately “paranoid” that his friends would catch him, prompting him to flee the scene for the bar, where he comically tries to reclaim his masculinity.

  “As the ladies were hanging everything up and I was helping, it dawned on me… I became paranoid… so I immediately ran out. I went to the bar…” (Jeff Dollar, 08:29)

• He returns only to coordinate the “surprise!” portion, but is then cornered by his radio family, as well as his own dad calling in to mock him:

  “Did you check your balls at the door? … Wah.” (Jeff’s Dad, 10:43)

• The cast demands Jeff admit, on air, that he officially hosted a baby shower.
• After much resistance and more jokes from the crew (“Man up. It's your testicles. Own them.” – Doug, 11:37), Jeff relents:

  “My name is Jeff, and last night, I threw a baby shower.” (Jeff Dollar, 11:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jeff’s Hypocrisy:

  “Aren’t you the one to give Burt crap? … Didn't we just talk about this yesterday?” (Burt, 02:28)

• On Denial:

  “A baby shower takes place in the morning or at the afternoon at someone’s house. We were drinking shots of Crown. No, I mean, the mom wasn’t.” (Jeff Dollar, 11:25)

• On Forced Admission:

  “Man up. It’s your testicles. Own them.” (Doug, 11:37)
  “Not anymore. It's my vagina.” (Jeff Dollar, 11:42)

• On Dad’s Disappointment:

  “Did you check your balls at the door? … Wah. Such a baby, Jeff.” (Jeff’s Dad, 10:43)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:19] – The roasting begins; the crew prepares to "tee off" on Jeff.
• [03:06] – Jeff’s infamous line about couple’s showers and rocks.
• [04:19] – Jeff details how the dinner transformed into a baby shower.
• [06:31] – The full revelation at the restaurant: decorations, banner, and games.
• [08:29] – Jeff’s escape to the bar, feeling exposed.
• [10:43] – Jeff’s dad delivers peak mockery.
• [11:50] – Jeff’s forced on-air confession.

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Tone and Vibe

Lively, irreverent, and unmistakably authentic, the episode is filled with playful shaming and camaraderie. The humor is good-natured, occasionally teasing, but always in the spirit of the show’s trademark realness and relatability.

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Conclusion

This episode captures The Bert Show’s strength in blending personal storytelling, group dynamics, and sharp, relatable comedy. Jeff’s baby shower “sell-out” serves as the perfect lightning rod for laughs, honesty, and, in the end, mutual understanding—reminding listeners that sometimes, even the most stubborn stances will bend for friends and loved ones.

Transcript

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[Doug]

All right, so you tweet last night that we're going to be able to tee off on you today.

[Jeff Dollar]

Oh, yeah, I'm definitely gonna get an ass kicking.

[Preston]

All right, let's focus, everybody. Focus.

[Jeff Dollar]

And it's only because I've come and I've publicly been very strong on something and I. I'm going into this letting you know that I think I was a little bit tricked, but I was. I was tricked out of my own ignorance. Like, I wasn't.

[Doug]

Dude, you sound like one of our women callers right now. That's just.

[Preston]

You're making a 30 second story and

[Doug]

you're clouding it with excuses before you even get to the details. Yeah, you're justifying too many words. Come on, let's do this.

[Hallmarkies Podcast Host]

Let's get to the problem.

[Doug]

Man up.

[Burt]

What'd you do,

[Jeff Dollar]

cut a couple showers?

[Burt]

You went to a couple shower last night?

[Jessica]

A couple's baby shower?

[Jeff Dollar]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Oh, you have got.

[Burt]

Well, I think. I think we should clear the floor for Bert.

[Preston]

Well, let's let Jeff hand him over.

[Doug]

I think it's only important that I was the host.

[Preston]

You hosted?

[Jessica]

You hosted a baby shower?

[Preston]

What?

[Doug]

I don't even know who you are. Anymore.

[Jessica]

Jeff dolls, hand him over.

[Burt]

Aren't you the one to give Burt crap? We just talked about. Didn't we just talk about this yesterday?

[Doug]

I don't know. Did we?

[Burt]

What was it for yesterday in the. In the post show you hosted.

[Doug]

And so you must have known for a while that you were hosting this. You just don't spontaneously say to Jessica, you know what we should do today?

[Preston]

You should host the baby shower. It was in it.

[Jeff Dollar]

It was like, really?

[Doug]

Okay, before we even start, what has your position been on couples baby showers up until this very point?

[Jeff Dollar]

And it remains, like, what has your

[Preston]

position been about couples baby showers up

[Doug]

until you selling out?

[Preston]

I think. What has it been? I think anybody who has a couple's

[Jeff Dollar]

baby shower should be hit with rocks.

[Jessica]

Oh, yeah, and guess what happened just about a month ago when I brought up, hey, producer, Tracy's expecting. Shouldn't we do something, like, all of us? And Jeff goes, well, it's a baby shower. I'm not gonna be involved in that.

[Jeff Dollar]

For the girls.

[Jessica]

That's a girl thing to do.

[Preston]

Okay, can I explain?

[Jessica]

And so condescendingly scoffed me off.

[Burt]

Well, I. Ridiculous idea, Jeff. Even back further than that, because Burt was talking about something.

[Preston]

Stacy.

[Burt]

And you were the biggest critic.

[Doug]

Remember how I didn't want to do it? Stacy wanted to have this, and I thought it was just. I think it's cruel and unusual punishment to invite guys to something like this. Like, I mean, I know women get excited about this, but having your men there, they have zero desire to be there at all. So Stacy wanted to do one of these, and I have been as strong as Jeff has, And we got a big old fight on. Stacy and I got in a big old fight on the radio about it.

[Jessica]

It was uncomfortable.

[Doug]

It was really uncomfortable. But then, you know, she. I realized that she's. She was really serious about it, so I was willing to sell out. And then we got lucky and had a Hollis prematurely.

[Preston]

Can I. And it didn't happen to have the party.

[Burt]

I can't.

[Jeff Dollar]

It's funny. Can I just say. Can I at least explain?

[Burt]

Well, just tell what happened. I mean, you could try to explain, but we're still gonna give you crap.

[Jeff Dollar]

Here's how it came down, is we have. Some of our very close friends are expecting a baby around the same time. Tracy. It's about a month after Tracy, actually. So they have a baby boy on the way. And Jessica and I. Jessica said to me, like, two months ago, six weeks ago, however long you plan something like this out, that, hey, we should have dinner with, you know, this couple and invite a bunch of people.

[Burt]

Look us in the eye when you're

[Jeff Dollar]

telling the story, right? And it should be like, and we'll have. And we'll all take them to dinner. And I said, oh, that'd be really cool. I said, I think what you need to do is. Because it's a couple really hard to pin down, like, schedule wise. So I think you need to make it a surprise. You know, you have a surprise. And she goes, okay, cool. So she calls one of her friends, who is another close friend of this couple, and the two of them organize this dinner. This surprise dinner. Right? Surprise dinner. You guys following? Yeah. Surprise dinner.

[Doug]

This is how she camouflage. This is how women camouflage for you guys, right? Now listen to this. Because women are bamboozling you. They're camouflaging. And disguising. These couple showers is something else. And that Stacey did, too.

[Burt]

It sounds like you're defending Jeff right now.

[Jeff Dollar]

And they're banking on the. The not paying attention as of guys. Because when we got back to remember, we went to that long weekend in Las Vegas a couple weeks back, and we came back, there was a package at our door. And we open it up, and in there is a little blue card and a little box of cookies. And the cookies say it's a boy. And the little blue card has got really like sorority girl handwriting. You know, it's very professionally done. But the bottom line says, Sarah and Jesse and Jeff and Jessica invite you to. My name was on there, but it still didn't process because it didn't say shower on that, but it was an

[Doug]

invitation to a couple shower at that point.

[Jeff Dollar]

It didn't say shower on it.

[Jessica]

What did it say? Cause everybody has to know it's a

[Burt]

shower to bring a gift.

[Jessica]

It said shower in your mom.

[Jeff Dollar]

It says, in celebration of your new baby boy.

[Burt]

That's a shower.

[Preston]

I didn't say shower. Did not say shower. You said shower. You're smarter than me. I didn't even think about it.

[Doug]

You're smart.

[Jeff Dollar]

So then last night we got to the restaurant, and it was at a restaurant. We went into the back room, and Jessica and the girl who was throwing it with her were there early. And so there was a table set up. There are 12 people total. And on the table there were blue and silver sparklies.

[Doug]

Did you help?

[Cool Stuff Daily Announcer]

Sparkly.

[Burt]

Did you realize it was a shower?

[Jeff Dollar]

Yeah. And then there was.

[Burt]

Did you help? I did want to hear that. Did you help put it out?

[Hallmarkies Podcast Host]

Yeah. You did?

[Jeff Dollar]

I had to put the banner Up.

[Preston]

Oh, you put the banner up. You helped in the decorating of a couple showers. But here's the deal. They needed somebody to hold it up

[Jeff Dollar]

because it was,

[Preston]

Who are you? And they like.

[Jessica]

To do the diaper changing competition.

[Jeff Dollar]

No, we did the one where everybody writes a name and puts it in a basket.

[Preston]

Wow.

[Jessica]

Cause you're guessing the name.

[Doug]

And were you the one that was carrying the basket around from couple to couple so they could put their names into it?

[Jeff Dollar]

No, that would have been. No, I didn't.

[Burt]

What'd you do? What'd you do? What game did you help with?

[Jessica]

Yeah, what did you play?

[Jeff Dollar]

I passed the gifts so they could open them.

[Preston]

And then you shut up. Did you write down.

[Jessica]

You write down the list for the thank you notes? You did.

[Jeff Dollar]

So anyway.

[Preston]

Wait a second. You were the person in the corner. You were the person in the corner keeping the notes. Jessica mainly did it, but as she needed help because she was at the end. Thank you note guy. You are a baby shower bitch. And I didn't realize. I realized as I was hanging up. As I was hanging up the banner

[Jeff Dollar]

because it was me and girls. So as I was hanging up, it

[Burt]

says the ladies were hanging up the.

[Jeff Dollar]

Yeah. As the ladies were hanging everything up and I was helping, including you, all of a sudden, it dawned on me. It seriously, like, I felt like I was in the polar bear club and I just jumped into a cold lake. All of a sudden, it dawned on me, and I became paranoid that, like, one of you guys would walk into the restaurant or, like, somebody would see me or something like that. So I immediately ran out. I went to the bar of the restaurant. I'm like, okay.

[Preston]

I get banners up. I gotta go. I gotta go get a whiskey.

[Jeff Dollar]

I go to the bar of the restaurant, and they're. Rand happens to be a guy there that I know, but I haven't seen him in, I don't know, six months probably. He became my immediate best friend.

[Preston]

Hey, Drew. What's up? Sitting there, hanging out.

[Jeff Dollar]

People are walking in. I refuse to go back into the room.

[Burt]

And then he's like, I cannot get

[Jessica]

rid of Jeff Dollars.

[Preston]

Yeah.

[Jeff Dollar]

He's like, dude, seriously, there's a reason we haven't talked in six months. I don't really like you, but it didn't matter. He was my best friend. Then one of the guy, another guy who's coming to the party, he came in.

[Preston]

You know, anything to stay out.

[Jeff Dollar]

It was like. And then because it was a surprise, I had to go back there and coordinate the hiding. So everybody could hide and yell surprise. And it turned. It was a. It was a good.

[Burt]

It was a successful shower. Did you have a good shower you decorated for and hosted.

[Jeff Dollar]

It was a good dinner among friends, celebrating the fact that two of them have a new joy coming into their lives.

[Burt]

Baby shower.

[Jessica]

Baby shower. Bundle of joy.

[Doug]

Good morning, Preston.

[Jeff's Dad]

Jeff, I'm just.

[Preston]

I know you're not mad.

[Jeff's Dad]

Jessica's got one over on you for the rest of your life, buddy.

[Jessica]

I mean, because now that you've done

[Jeff's Dad]

one, we expect more. We expect more, Jeff. I mean, it's just. Wow.

[Jessica]

It's like she's gonna take a mile now. You can't say that you don't do baby showers, because guess what?

[Bleacher Report Announcer]

You just did.

[Jeff Dollar]

Never again. I know. I know how the trick is.

[Burt]

I know Jiffy Webby did a baby shower. Was your banner straight, or did you have to look at it and then readjust it?

[Doug]

Hey, Doug.

[Preston]

Good morning.

[Jeff Dollar]

I was scared because it was that mylar ma was real shiny and.

[Doug]

Yeah. Hey, Doug.

[Jeff's Dad]

Morning.

[Jeff Dollar]

Good morning,

[Jeff's Dad]

Jeff.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Jeff's Dad]

I want to ask you something, and then I want to make a statement.

[Jessica]

He is furious.

[Jeff's Dad]

Did you check your balls at the door? And the thing I wanted to say was, wah.

[Jeff Dollar]

Yeah.

[Jeff's Dad]

Such a baby, Jeff.

[Jeff Dollar]

I know, dad.

[Jessica]

Bitch.

[Doug]

So, Jeff, I mean, I would really love to hear you publicly say, I'm Jeff Dollar.

[Preston]

I'm not giving you a face. And I hosted.

[Burt]

Cause you had a stance.

[Doug]

A baby shower.

[Preston]

I cannot just speak the truth.

[Burt]

Don't do anything until he's done.

[Jeff Dollar]

I had a dinner.

[Preston]

I am Jeff Dollar and I hosted in celebration.

[Jeff Dollar]

A baby shower takes place in the morning or at the afternoon at someone's house. We were drinking shots of crown. No, I mean, the mom wasn't.

[Preston]

Just say it. Say it.

[Doug]

Man up. It's. Own it. It's your testicles. Own them.

[Jeff Dollar]

Not anymore. It's my vagina.

[Hallmarkies Podcast Host]

Say that.

[Jeff's Dad]

Say that.

[Burt]

Come on, Jeffrey. Come on, baby.

[Jeff Dollar]

My name is Jeff, and last night, I threw a baby shower.

[Preston]

The third show.

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[Jeff Dollar]

Wait, what?

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