The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: The Show Sends Phil To Bootcamp
Podcast: The Bert Show
Date: December 12, 2025
Host/Panel: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Emily (Intern), Co-hosts, Corey Waller (Fitness Trainer), Phil Turana, Intern Jen
Special Guest: Corey Waller, Eclipse One on One Fitness

Overview

This episode revolves around the show’s ongoing and humor-tinged efforts to help team member Phil Turana overcome his struggles with self-confidence, particularly regarding dating and body image. The central event: the show sends Phil to a rigorous “boot camp” program with fitness trainer Corey Waller, hoping to give him both a physical and emotional transformation. The episode contains friendly ribbing, personal confessions, expert fitness advice, and plenty of comedic commentary from the crew.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Phil’s Lack of “Game” & Confidence Struggles

[01:34–02:37]

• Bert and the team discuss (and tease) Phil's long-acknowledged inability to confidently ask women out.
• Phil admits he has never directly asked a woman on a date; his relationships have started because women asked him out:

  “I am so uncomfortable with rejection that I will push, push, push until she asks me out.” – Phil Turana [02:13]

• The team jokes about Phil’s nervousness, emphasizing how visibly uncomfortable he gets just discussing women.

2. Body Image & Insecurity

[03:29–04:27]

• Phil has never been intimate with a woman without wearing a T-shirt, a vulnerability the team unpacks with care—and playful jabs.
• Emily (Intern) and others link this to Phil’s insecurities from being overweight during his youth.

  “He’s still not comfortable enough with his body to be able to shed all clothes when he’s intimate.” – Emily (Intern) [04:27]

• Phil shares his background in theater as the “funny guy,” not the romantic lead, shaping his social approach.

  “I always had to be the fun guy or the big brother…” – Phil Turana [04:11]

3. Attempts at Professional Help

[05:18–05:36]

• The team had tried to get Phil a motivational coach, but, humorously, even life coaches wouldn't take his case:

  “His case was too hard and they’re like, I can’t help that guy.” – Bert [05:28]
  (Laughter ensues)

4. Enter Corey Waller: The Bootcamp Solution

[05:48–07:07]

• Fitness trainer Corey Waller is introduced. The crew half-jokingly describes him as the embodiment of fitness:

  “He smells like protein shakes… Hasn’t had a freaking Cheeto in 31 years.” – Co-host 1 [06:07]

• Corey’s mission: get Phil into a pair of jeans that are a size too small ("bring your jeans" challenge).

5. Bootcamp Structure & Philosophy

[07:19–09:46]

• Corey explains the bootcamp approach, meant for all demographics, pursuing tough but fun workouts.
• The “bring your jeans” concept: use aspirational clothing as a motivational tool.
• Corey on attitude:

  “If it’s not hurting, it’s not working, right, Phil? That’s gonna be your motto for the next eight weeks…” – Corey Waller [09:35]

• Corey adopts the authoritative and slightly playful title “Burn Daddy”:

  “Let me hear you say that, Phil.”
  “You’re my burn daddy.” – Phil [09:53]

6. Bootcamp Details & Incentives

[10:16–11:07]

• No fancy gym equipment; focus on basics—push-ups, running, outdoor workouts.
• Incentives for participants: spa visits, shoes, water, and more.

  “Water is an incentive.” – Co-host 1 (sarcastically) [10:56]

7. First Taste: Phil’s Bootcamp Initiation

[12:01–13:46]

• Corey and two bootcamp regulars put Phil through a mini-session: lunges, squats, pushups, running, and stairs.
• The show gets on-the-ground updates via phone, with the cast cheering Phil on and savoring his struggle:

  “I’m gonna cry on the first workout.” – Phil [12:24] “Yeah, burn daddy’s bitch.” – Bert [12:26]

8. Will Phil Survive? The Over/Under Game

[15:30–16:16]

• The team bets on when Phil will "yak" (vomit) from the workout:

  “What’s the over under on Phil yakking this morning?” – Bert [15:36]

  • Emily bets 7:16, Co-host 1 goes with 7:30.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Phil’s approach to dating:

  “Imagine that. Just never, ever asking a girl out.” – Bert [02:27]

• On former life as “the fat kid”:

  “I never got to play the good looking guy. So I had to learn how to be fun and not so much charming…” – Phil Turana [04:11]

• On fitness trainer’s aura:

  “He smells like protein shakes, flaxseed oil. Hasn’t had a freaking Cheeto in 31 years.” – Co-host 1 [06:07]

• On bootcamp reality:

  “Boot camp is the polite way of saying they beat the hell out of you.” – Co-host 1 [12:48]

• On motivation:

  “If it’s not hurting, it’s not working, right Phil?” – Corey Waller [09:35]

• On incentives:

  “Water is an incentive.” – Co-host 1 [10:56]

• On Phil’s trepidation:

  “I’m gonna cry on the first workout.” – Phil Turana [12:24]

• On the honest stakes:

  “Is it rude… to ask him to swing by Goldberg’s and get us some carbohydrates?” – Co-host 1 [16:16]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Phil’s “No Game” Confession: 01:34 – 02:37
• Intimacy with T-shirt & Body Image: 03:29 – 04:27
• Professional Help Rejection (Life Coach): 05:18 – 05:36
• Corey Waller’s Introduction: 05:48 – 07:07
• Bootcamp Details: 07:19 – 09:46
• Phil’s First Bootcamp Challenge: 12:01 – 13:46
• Over/Under Betting on Phil Vomiting: 15:36 – 16:16

Tone and Style

The episode is a blend of playful sabotage, genuine concern, and sharp-witted humor. The cast uses frank language, teasing each other while also uncovering some real vulnerabilities, particularly about self-esteem and body image. Corey brings an energetic, determined approach, while Phil’s mix of dry wit and self-deprecation keeps everyone entertained.

For New Listeners

This episode delivers a hilarious but heartfelt group intervention for Phil, spotlighting both the emotional hurdles of self-image and the very real struggle of starting a new fitness journey. It's packed with honest conversations, inside jokes, and the infectious spirit that keeps listeners coming back to The Bert Show.