Vault: The Things You Didn't Know About The Bert Show

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: The Things You Didn't Know About The Bert Show

Date: March 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively “vault” episode, The Bert Show cast engages in a fun and revealing group game inspired by a viral Facebook trend: "25 Random Things About Me." The hosts take turns guessing who among them authored each quirky fact, leading to personal stories, embarrassing confessions, and plenty of laughter. The segment offers listeners a genuine behind-the-scenes glimpse into the personalities of Bert, Melissa, Jen, Tracy, Jeff, Wendy, and others, delivering humor, connection, and surprising admissions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Facebook "25 Random Things" Game

(01:01 – 01:44)

• Jen explains the Facebook viral trend where people list 25 random facts about themselves and tag friends to do the same.
• The group reflects how the game spread beyond close circles and became a way to learn new things about each other.
  • Quote (Jen, 01:24): "It’s just a chain email in which you answer questions…revealing things about yourself that others might not know."
• Light banter on how this is “more intelligent than sending a fart or ninja king” on Facebook (Melissa & Jeff, 02:00-02:04).

2. Sharing and Guessing Facts

(02:05 – 09:18)

• The segment's core involves the hosts taking turns reading highlighted facts, with everyone guessing the author before the truth is revealed.
• Examples include playful confusion, teasing, and honest reactions.

Notable Facts & Moments

No Idea What My Real Hair Color Is

• [02:38 – 03:11]
  • The crew guesses which female hosts have colored their hair so long they’ve forgotten the natural color.
  • Quote (Wendy, 03:20): "No idea what’s under there!"

Elementary School Wedding Plan

• [03:23 – 04:25]
  • Melissa admits to writing out her wedding plan as a child and promises to bring the document in.
  • Quote (Melissa, 03:38): "I actually have it, kind of rolled and folded… saw it just not too long ago."
  • Humor as Jen jokes about adapting the plan when the time comes.

Meeting NSYNC on The Queen Latifah Show

• [04:25 – 05:17]
  • Tracy reveals she appeared on The Queen Latifah Show in high school to meet NSYNC, after writing to multiple shows.
  • The group demands the video be brought in for proof, laughing at Tracy’s former band concert attire.
  • Quote (Tracy, 04:52): "My parents surprised me… So I’m in this really dorky outfit."

Faking Emergency Calls at the Gym

• [05:22 – 06:10]
  • Melissa confesses to staging urgent phone calls to escape difficult gym workouts.
  • The group finds this relatable and hilarious.
  • Quote (Melissa, 05:32): "I, like, faked an emergency… Are you kidding? At the house right now? Dolvett, I gotta get out of here."

Making a Wish at 11:11 and 1:11

• [06:20 – 06:56]
  • Jeff admits to always checking the time at these moments and saying the numbers out loud.
  • Tracy notes there’s a “whole society” of folks who do the same, leading to a conversation about quirky superstitions.

Never Impulsively Splurged

• [06:56 – 07:33]
  • Jen shares she's never bought anything big on impulse, sparking gentle teasing about needing a designer purchase.
  • Quote (Wendy, 07:33): "You need to go get some designer shoes… then you can’t believe how much you love it."

Faking Love for U2

• [07:45 – 08:12]
  • Melissa reveals she exaggerated her love for U2 because her wife adores the band, though Bono now “kind of bugs” her.
  • Group finds it endearing, with Jeff calling Bono “booshy” nowadays.

Belting 'The Little Mermaid' Songs

• [08:12 – 08:56]
  • Wendy confesses she loudly sings “Part of Your World” at home, amusingly unconcerned if neighbors hear.
  • The team agrees “The Little Mermaid” soundtrack is a guilty pleasure for many adults.

Driving the Long Way to Listen to Loud Music

• [08:56 – 09:10]
  • Jeff acknowledges he’ll purposely take a longer route home just to enjoy blasting music.

Mistaking Shy People for Snobs

• [09:15 – 09:53]
  • Jen admits she sometimes confuses shyness with arrogance, recalling sorority days.
  • Wendy commiserates, describing similar assumptions and subsequent guilt.

Wishing to Look Taller with Shoe Lifts

• [09:53 – 10:14]
  • Melissa admits to considering shoes with lifts to appear taller, which everyone finds predictable and funny.

Full House Reruns Obsession

• [10:17 – 10:21]
  • Wendy sheepishly confesses to watching “Full House” every weekday at noon.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I have no idea what my real hair color is.”
  (Melissa’s confession, 02:45)

• “My wedding. I would have to bring that in, just to show you.”
  (Melissa, on her childhood wedding plan, 03:38 – 04:09)

• “I was on the Queen Latifah Show to meet NSYNC.”
  (Tracy, story leading to group mock excitement, 04:25 – 04:52)

• “I, like, faked an emergency. …Are you kidding? At the house right now?”
  (Melissa, describing her treadmill escape, 05:32)

• “I always look at the clock at 11:11 and 1:11. …I have to do that.”
  (Jeff, 06:20 – 06:35)

• “Don’t think I’ve ever impulsively splurged on anything.”
  (Jen, sparking debate on responsible spending, 06:56 – 07:33)

• “In a personal life, I’ve falsely exaggerated my love for U2 to my wife…”
  (Melissa, 07:45)

• “I sing out loud the Little Mermaid song when I’m home alone.”
  (Wendy, 08:12 – 08:41)

• “I often mistake shy people for being snobby.”
  (Jen, 09:15)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:01 – Intro to Facebook “25 Random Things” game
• 02:38 – “No idea what my real hair color is”
• 03:23 – Written wedding plan from elementary school
• 04:25 – On the Queen Latifah show to meet NSYNC
• 05:22 – Faking emergency calls to leave the gym
• 06:20 – Obsessive clock-checking/wishes at 11:11, 1:11
• 06:56 – “Never impulsively splurged” confession
• 07:45 – Pretending to love U2
• 08:12 – Singing “The Little Mermaid” songs alone
• 08:56 – Taking the long way to listen to music
• 09:15 – Mistaking shyness for snobbishness
• 09:53 – Shoe lifts for height
• 10:17 – “Full House” reruns confession

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is casual, playful, and filled with good-natured teasing. The cast’s authentic camaraderie shines, making listeners feel included in their inner circle and perhaps encouraging them to ponder their own “random facts.”

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Takeaway

This episode delivers exactly what dedicated Bert Show fans love: warmth, humor, and an intimate peek at the personalities behind the microphones. You’ll laugh, relate, and maybe even feel inspired to share your own quirky secrets with friends.

Transcript

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[Melissa]

This is the Birch Show. Hi, Melissa. You're on Facebook. Explain what this group is.

[Jen]

Well, I mean, it's almost like I first got it from a close friend of mine and I have to say, I didn't expect it from her, and I was a little disappointed. But no, it's 25 things. Random things about yourself. So basically, you answer these 25 questions and then you pass it on to your friends. The person who sent it to you, you send it back to them, and then you send it on to other people with your list and ask them to go ahead and fill it out for themselves. So really, amongst Little Friend Group is kind of a fun game to where you learn about each other. And as you know, just like a chain mail. It's just a chain email in which you've answer questions.

[Melissa]

Yeah. You're revealing things about yourself that others might not know.

[Jen]

But because Facebook is, I mean, you know, so many people are on Facebook, this has just become so popular and you see it so much and you get all these requests now to do the 25 things that I mean is, you know, it's come outside of the Facebook circle and a lot of other people are doing it.

[Melissa]

It's more intelligent than sending somebody a fart.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Or a ninja king.

[Melissa]

Or a ninja king.

[Jeff]

Hey, watch your list. Hey, Burke, give me your list because you won't think that the stuff on yours is exciting.

[Melissa]

Well, Tracy highlighted them, but you can have it if you want.

[Jeff]

Well, I was gonna say I want to pick yours out because you. You probably think some of yours are boring them.

[Wendy]

We know who they are.

[Melissa]

Yeah, some of them are pretty obvious.

[Jeff]

What do you mean?

[Jen]

If you're. Anything you read is.

[Wendy]

Anything you read is Burt's.

[Jeff]

Oh, well, I think that's. I just want to pick his out because I don't think he'll pick out the interesting ones for himself.

[Wendy]

So you'll make him read them?

[Melissa]

Tracy's already highlighted him, so it's already done.

[Wendy]

Okay. I thought you were gonna say you were gonna read Burt's.

[Jeff]

Oh, no, no.

[Wendy]

Then we would know if you were reading it. It was Bert.

[Jeff]

Yeah. No, no, no.

[Melissa]

Tracey's got him already highlighted. Okay. I love this one. I have no idea what my real hair color is.

[Jeff]

That's funny.

[Melissa]

And that one's Jeff, right?

[Jeff]

Yeah. It's not me.

[Melissa]

Anybody want to try to guess who that is?

[Tracy]

I'm gonna say Jen.

[Jen]

Melissa, I guess Jen. Because it's not me.

[Jeff]

Is it you?

[Melissa]

That is really great.

[Jen]

That's funny.

[Wendy]

No idea. And I thought that if we revealed that, that everyone could think it would be any of the girls.

[Jen]

Well, yeah, I just know I didn't put it that. But I think that. That I think a lot of girls. Probably because you start coloring your hair young, so you don't know how it's changed.

[Wendy]

No idea what's under there.

[Melissa]

Have a written wedding plan from when I was in elementary school.

[Jeff]

Wendy.

[Wendy]

Yeah, definitely Wendy.

[Melissa]

I would have gone with Wendy.

[Tracy]

Say, Jeff, it's not me.

[Melissa]

It's not Wendy.

[Tracy]

It's not me.

[Melissa]

Jen, is it you?

[Jen]

No, it is actually Melissa Cargill. And I need to bring it in because I was going through some. You know, because I moved last year and going through a box, and I actually haven't undo. It was kind of rolled and fold. Folded or whatever. And I saw it just not too long ago when I was unpacking a box, and it said my wedding. And I thought, oh, my God, I did this in elementary school. And I thought, no, you know what? And I put it aside and didn't open it up. So I'm gonna have to bring that in just to show you.

[Melissa]

What?

[Jen]

My wedding.

[Melissa]

Love to see that.

[Jen]

Yeah. So that's actually how much of it

[Wendy]

that you could actually put into place if you get married, you know?

[Jen]

Well, yeah.

[Melissa]

Still might happen.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

When and if it becomes legal. We all know you're gonna wait till then.

[Jen]

I'm sure that, you know, in there talks about you Know what? The guys are gonna have to adapt it just a little bit.

[Melissa]

So this one. Some of these are great. I can't believe we haven't talked about some of this stuff. Or maybe we haven't. I've just forgotten. I was on the Queen Latifah show to meet. An interview in sync.

[Wendy]

The Queen Latifah show to meet.

[Jeff]

I didn't even know Queen Latifah had a show, so. That's not me.

[Melissa]

It's me.

[Jen]

Is it really?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Tracy]

Wendy, that's in high school.

[Melissa]

Do you have the video of that?

[Jen]

Aw.

[Tracy]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

But I'm not gonna.

[Melissa]

We gotta put that. Are you out of your mind?

[Tracy]

It's because, I mean, I was. I mean, I was kind of a nerd. And they made me wear. Because I was on my way to a band concert. So my parents came out of nowhere and surprised me that I was gonna go meet NSYNC on this talk show. Cause I wrote every talk show back then to meet NSync and try to meet NSync. So I'm in this really dorky outfit.

[Melissa]

Oh, you gotta bring that in. We gotta put that online.

[Wendy]

So cute.

[Melissa]

What did you ask them?

[Tracy]

I don't know. I don't even remember. I haven't seen the video since back then.

[Melissa]

Bring it in. Let's put it online.

[Wendy]

That is adorable.

[Tracy]

It's embarrassing.

[Melissa]

I have faked getting an emergency phone call so I could get off the treadmill.

[Jeff]

Well, that's not me.

[Jen]

That's not me, Bird.

[Wendy]

It's gotta be you.

[Melissa]

Yeah, that's me.

[Jeff]

I think that was so awesome. Can you reenact that for us?

[Melissa]

Yeah. Well, I knew it was gonna be cardio and leg day in the gym with Dolvett. And I was just tired, so I kept my cell phone on really, really, really loud. And I knew what time I'd be doing cardio and he'd be busting my ass. So I just said that. I think I heard my phone ring. And then I went over to my backpack and I, like, faked an emergency. Like, oh, my God, Are you kidding? At the house right now? Dolvett. I gotta get out of here. Cause I didn't wanna do any more cardio.

[Wendy]

That is hysterical.

[Melissa]

That's awesome.

[Jeff]

Just so you know.

[Wendy]

I wonder who's gonna use that today.

[Melissa]

I know.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Just so you know, if when he hears about this and you finally get back in the gym, it's today.

[Melissa]

Today's the first day vet.

[Jeff]

He's going to rip tendons from your bone.

[Melissa]

I always look at the clock at 11:11 and 1:11. And when I do that, I say 1:11 or 11:11 out loud. I have to do that.

[Jen]

Jeff.

[Wendy]

Yeah, I would go with Jeff.

[Jen]

This isn't Jeff or Wendy.

[Jeff]

But it's mine. It's Jeff every single day. 111 or 1111.

[Wendy]

I have 1222.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Have we talked about that before? And there's a whole society of people who have the same thing with 111 and 1111. It's weird.

[Tracy]

Make a wish on any of those. If it's like 11 11, 222, I don't know, 333, you make a wish.

[Melissa]

This one won't be surprising. Don't think I've ever impulsively splurged on anything, Melissa. Yep.

[Jen]

And you know what? I know it's not surprising, but when I thought about it last night, I thought. And Kate and I were talking about. I said, oh, my God. She goes, yeah, I could tell you that. She said, I would love for to come home one day and you just have, like a flat screen or you have a whole, like, new furniture set or you, like, do something crazy. And I realized I have never gone impulsively splurging. I have not gone and spent a bunch of money on one thing. Never.

[Melissa]

I'm not shocked by that.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Ameca Insurance Representative]

Yeah.

[Jen]

I just never done it.

[Wendy]

You need to go get some designer shoes or designer handbag or something because it's a jeans. Ridiculous amount of money that you spend on something like that. And then you can't believe how much you love it.

[Tracy]

You keep doing it.

[Melissa]

This one's gonna be obvious and it may change things a little bit. In a personal life, I've falsely exaggerated my love for U2 to my wife because she loves the band so much.

[Wendy]

That's you.

[Jen]

Oh, my gosh.

[Melissa]

I mean, I like them, but I sort of have faked how much I like them because she loves them so much.

[Jeff]

That's awesome.

[Wendy]

It's kind of cute.

[Melissa]

Sweet Bono kind of bugs me.

[Jeff]

Is that recent, though? Because he's.

[Melissa]

He's the last couple of years.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he's getting pretty booshy.

[Melissa]

I sing out loud the Little Mermaid song When I'm home alone Wendy. Wendy. Holy Wendy.

[Tracy]

My cat's there and I have to sing it out. I don't know why. That song.

[Wendy]

Which one?

[Tracy]

It's where she's under the water.

[Jeff]

She's like under the sea. That one.

[Tracy]

A whole. Wait, what? I don't even know.

[Jen]

Didn't the crab sing that one?

[Tracy]

It's her and Flounder, and she wants to be a part of their world. There you go.

[Wendy]

Part of this world or whatever.

[Melissa]

You'll sing that one out loud.

[Tracy]

Like, I'll belt it out. I'm surprised my neighbors haven't complained. Like, just belt it out.

[Jen]

But it's a Little Mermaid.

[Tracy]

Who can be mad about that?

[Jen]

Terrible.

[Wendy]

It's a happy little.

[Jen]

That is a guilty pleasure for a lot of adults. Is the Little Mermaid soundtrack.

[Wendy]

Yes, it is. A good sound soundtrack.

[Jen]

Good soundtrack.

[Melissa]

Sometimes I drive the long way home just to listen to loud music in my car.

[Jen]

Jeff.

[Tracy]

Jen, it's Jeff.

[Wendy]

Alyssa, me. Jeff, it's you.

[Melissa]

You go out of your way to listen to loud music, huh?

[Wendy]

Yeah, that wouldn't be me, because I do already have a long way home.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

All the rest of you being Conyers,

[Wendy]

live within two minutes of this place.

[Melissa]

I often mistake shy people for being snobby.

[Jen]

Jen.

[Tracy]

Jen,

[Melissa]

why were you so.

[Jeff]

God, Melissa is like. Is it just me, or is Melissa saying these things, like, almost passing judgment?

[Melissa]

Yeah. Oh, it's Jen. Let's see who's the most judgmental person in the room.

[Jeff]

Jen.

[Wendy]

No, but I. I recognize.

[Melissa]

You were right.

[Jen]

I've heard her say that before, though.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

Shy people. I think that you're a snob. And I think you don't want to talk to me because you're snooty. And then I realize you're shy, and I feel bad for thinking you're a snot. I used to do that in my sorority all the time.

[Ameca Insurance Representative]

God, that girl is such a. Mmm.

[Wendy]

And then be like, oh, no, she's just quiet.

[Melissa]

I've done that, too. I have done that. This one's not going to be a surprise. Have had thoughts of purchasing shoes with a lift in them to make me appear taller.

[Wendy]

That's you. You can't keep saying it's not a surprise when it's yours.

[Melissa]

Well, I mean, that's easy. Who else in here would be insecure about that?

[Wendy]

Maybe Wendy.

[Melissa]

That's what high heels are.

[Wendy]

Oh, that's true.

[Melissa]

I watch Full House reruns Monday through Friday at noon.

[Wendy]

Shut up, Wendy.

[Tyler Redick]

Wendy.

[Melissa]

This is the Virt show.

[Tyler Redick]

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