Vault: The wildest reasons Christmas got canceled

Summary

The Bert Show – "Vault: The Wildest Reasons Christmas Got Canceled"

Date: May 26, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Melissa, and The Bert Show cast
Theme: Real listener stories and personal insights into the extreme and unusual reasons why Christmas—or other holiday celebrations—were canceled in their families.

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Episode Overview

This engaging episode of The Bert Show dives deep into the chaos, drama, and occasionally the humor behind families canceling Christmas. The hosts invite callers to share their wildest stories, explore the decision-making process behind axing holiday festivities, and reflect on how parents use such drastic threats (or realities) to enforce discipline. In true Bert Show fashion, the co-hosts blend laughter with empathy, touching on generational parenting tactics, sibling rivalries, and even include shoutouts to holiday traditions from other faiths.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Parental Power to Cancel Christmas

• Who Cancels Christmas?
  The show opens with a lively debate: Is it more of a "mom move" or a "dad move" to cancel Christmas? Consensus (mostly from Melissa): moms are more likely to pull the holiday plug, as they’re seen as the household’s creative disciplinarians.

  • “I just don't think a dad... I mean, he might do the whole 'go pick your switch' thing, but to get creative and cancel Christmas? That's a mom move.” — Unnamed Co-host [02:17]

• Reasons for the Drastic Measure:
  The hosts muse that it's rarely a single bad deed but rather a build-up of bad behavior—like fighting siblings or general lack of appreciation—that tips parents over the edge.

  • “I'm assuming it's gonna be a cumulative thing... there's no appreciation for what the season's all about.” — Bert [02:42]

• What Does ‘Canceling’ Actually Mean?
  The ultimate punishment: kids wake up on December 25th to no gifts, no decorations, no special breakfast, nothing. Just “another day.”

  • “No stocking, no nothing. Nothing. Just another day.” — Bert [03:31]

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Listener Stories: When Christmas Really Was Canceled

Story 1: A Truly Extreme Case

• Caller: Allison [03:34]
  • Returns home excited from her Christmas Eve shift to find her mom crying—her father is in jail after a physical fight with her brother. Christmas is “off.”
    • “Yeah, your dad's in jail, so we’re not doing anything.” — Allison’s Mom (relayed by Allison) [03:41]
    • “That's a Jerry Springer episode ready to happen.” — Bert [04:09]

Story 2: Crime & Consequences

• Caller: Addie [04:16]

  • A friend’s 9-year-old son broke into a neighbor’s apartment. On Christmas, his siblings unwrapped gifts while he received nothing from Santa.
    • “He had to watch his brothers open up presents, and he had zero.” — Bert [04:43]
    • “He's the best son she has now.” — Addie [04:48]

• Tough Love as Effective Parenting:

  • “Santa knows if you're naughty or nice, and if you're naughty you don't get anything.” — Melissa [04:54]

Story 3: Modern Holiday Threats

• Caller: Tina [05:15]
  • Using the threat of a canceled Christmas to motivate her underperforming, misbehaving 11-year-old daughter. As the holiday approaches, the possibility looms (“I might even keep the Coach purse for myself!”).
    • “A mom who's buying designer handbags for your 11-year-old daughter is not canceling Christmas for any reason.” — Unnamed Co-host [06:50]
• Hosts agree the threat is powerful, but doubt she’ll follow through.

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Other (Non-Christmas) Holiday Cancellations

• Hanukkah's Version of Santa:
  • Caller jokes about threatening to “cancel Hanukkah” if the kids misbehave, introducing “Hanukkah Harry” and jokingly referencing “the Passover Bunny.”
    • “Hanukkah will not come to my house tomorrow if my children do not behave.” — Caller [09:04]
    • “Just so you know, if your 7-year-old's corresponding with someone on the internet calling himself Hanukkah, he is also a creeper in the corner.” — Co-host [09:46]

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Parenting Tools: Elf on the Shelf

• Elf as a Surveillance Mechanism:
  The Elf on the Shelf tradition is discussed as a parental tool to enforce good behavior in a fun, magical way.
  • “He leaves the house, he reports back to Santa how the kids were... then he shows up in a different part of the house. So he always has his eyes on the kids...” — Bert [07:54]
  • “Her dad said that his daughter is totally fine with the elf around the house, but she gets freaked out if he ever shows up in her room.” — Melissa [08:33]
  • “If he wasn't wearing a red velvet suit, he's creeper in the corner.” — Co-host [08:54]

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Notable Quotes

• On the generational impact:
  • “If Melissa and I are brother and sister and she did something, and I'm still angry Christmas got canceled... I’m 30 years old and I’m still mad.” — Co-host [02:29]
• On the threat's unique leverage:
  • “You have more leverage in your relationship with your kids right now than you will at any other point during the year.” — Bert [07:18]
• On parents and discipline:
  • “There's that Elf on the Shelf guy. He's just that second layer. Santa's spy.” — Melissa [07:44]

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Memorable Moments & Timestamps

• [03:34] – Allison’s story: Dad is jailed after a family fistfight, ending Christmas.
• [04:16] – Addie's story: Only the ‘naughty’ child gets no presents.
• [05:15] – Tina’s dilemma: Should Christmas be canceled over poor behavior and grades?
• [07:44] – Elf on the Shelf discussed as a modern “Santa spy.”
• [09:04] – Inclusion of Hanukkah: Parents threaten to “cancel Hanukkah” to keep kids in line.

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

True to The Bert Show’s form, the episode balances empathy and real talk with plenty of humor and levity. The hosts and callers both recognize the seriousness behind holiday cancellations while poking fun at the lengths parents will (and won't) go to for discipline. In the end, the episode leaves listeners with a fascinating look at family dynamics, discipline gone dramatic, and the strange power of holiday magic—or the lack thereof.

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For More:
Listen to the full episode at thebertshow.com for raw stories, laughter, and more stories from the vault!

Transcript

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[Bert (Show Host)]

You're on the Burt Show. If you've ever been in a family where Christmas has been canceled, like, and it's got to be the situation where it's all lined up. You guys have done it every single year. You know it's very traditional. But for whatever reason mom and dad decide we're not having Christmas this year. A, I want to know what was the straw that broke the camel's back and B, how the whole thing works. Like, who tells the family? My assumption is it's like a knee jerk decision by dad or mom.

[Melissa]

Or Mom. I think Mom.

[Co-host or Guest]

I see. Mom would do it before dad would

[Bert (Show Host)]

and that's a decision I think you Gotta come together as parents. You're not allowed to just bear that for the entire family.

[Co-host or Guest]

I don't think dad would think of that on his own. Like, I think. I just don't think a dad.

[Melissa]

Are you strict enough?

[Bert (Show Host)]

Yeah, well, he could come down, man.

[Co-host or Guest]

I mean, he might do the whole go pick your switch thing, but I think to get creative and cancel Christmas, that's a. That's a mom move. And you know who's going to be really fun to talk to?

[Bert (Show Host)]

I don't think it's going to be a mom move.

[Co-host or Guest]

The fun people to be talked to are going to be the siblings. Like, you're like, what's the straw that broke the camel's back? If Melissa and I are brother and sister and she did something, and. And I'm still angry Christmas got canceled. 30 years old. I'm still mad.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Bert (Show Host)]

I'm assuming it's going to be a cumulative thing, and we're not getting a lot of calls on it, but I'm assuming that it's the parents taking a look at the whole house. Like, they're taking a look at all three girls or both boys and girls. And there's no appreciation for. For what the season's all about. Rather than finding a cigarette burn on the couch and then one parent just saying, no Christmas this year and then calling up Santa.

[Melissa]

I think it could also be the siblings fighting with each other, because when I was growing up, that was the thing that ticked off my parents the most, was my brother and I getting into fights. So if it was like one after the other after the other, I could have seen them, because it was us fighting with each other, canceling it for both of us.

[Bert (Show Host)]

So that and literally canceling it means 25th. You wake up, there is nothing.

[Melissa]

No Christmas. Oh, man. No gifts, no decorations, no fancy breakfast or leaving cookies and milk for Santa.

[Bert (Show Host)]

No stocking, no nothing. Nothing. Just another day.

[Melissa]

Bummer.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Hey. Hey, Allison. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. About two years ago, I was, you know, I work Christmas Eve, and I go home all excited, and I get home, my mom's sitting there crying on the couch. I'm just like, what happened? She's like, yeah, your dad's in jail, so we're not doing anything.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Oh, no.

[Melissa]

Why did he get sent to jail?

[Caller]

For fighting with my brother.

[Bert (Show Host)]

For what?

[Melissa]

Fighting with her brother.

[Bert (Show Host)]

So they physically got into a fight together. The cops came over the house, and Christmas was canceled.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Wow.

[Melissa]

Well, that's extreme.

[Bert (Show Host)]

That is a Jerry Springer episode ready to happen.

[Melissa]

Right now.

[Bert (Show Host)]

That's a good reason if you're going to cancel Christmas, right?

[Melissa]

Incarceration. That's a good reason.

[Bert (Show Host)]

The felony is a good reason right there. Addie, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. I have a friend who had three sons, and one of the sons was only nine at the time, and he broke into the next door neighbor's apartment. So on Christmas morning, this was two weeks before Christmas, on Christmas morning, she said it was the hardest decision she ever made, but the other two boys had presents from Santa and he had nothing.

[Bert (Show Host)]

So he had to watch his brothers open up presents, and he had 00.

[Caller]

Wow. This was 25 years ago. But he's the best son she has now.

[Melissa]

He's shaped up.

[Bert (Show Host)]

No kidding.

[Melissa]

Well, I mean, that's what they say that. I mean, Santa knows if you're naughty, you're nice, and if you're naughty, you don't get anything.

[Co-host or Guest]

I do know somebody who got. I don't think they had any siblings, but they got coal when they for Christmas with a note that said, you have like a week to shape up

[Bert (Show Host)]

or you get nothing.

[Co-host or Guest]

No. Or then you'll get your gifts if you can pull yourself together.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Hey, Tina, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

We're in a similar situation with our oldest child is 11 and hasn't been performing well at school and has been lying to us and is actually potentially going to fail. And so we are using it as a threat. But. And you know, her dad and I discussed. And of course, it'll be me the one who actually has to pull the trigger on it. So it would be the mom decision to cancel Christmas. Fortunately, our other two children are small enough they won't really know because they're only 16 months old. So.

[Bert (Show Host)]

So you're teetering right now. So over the course of the next week, if he's great, then you'll give Santa a call and say, hey, everything's cool. And if he's not, then you call Santa and go, hey, I'll bets off right now.

[Caller]

Fortunately, we kind of spoil our children a little, so I might actually keep some of the cool presents myself. For yourself? That's awesome.

[Bert (Show Host)]

What do you mean you're going to keep some of the cool presents?

[Caller]

Well, I mean, a coach purse would be nice and.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Oh, I see. So you're going to spend the money on yourself.

[Caller]

Well, no, it's actually a gift for her, but if she

[Melissa]

11.

[Bert (Show Host)]

She's 11 years old. Getting a coach purse.

[Melissa]

Are you kidding me?

[Bert (Show Host)]

You do need to cancel Christmas. Wow.

[Caller]

Well, it was. It's not a big purse, but it's

[Melissa]

just a little, you know, just a $300 change purse.

[Commercial Narrator]

Wow.

[Caller]

Yeah, just. Just to have something with the name on it.

[Bert (Show Host)]

I don't think you have it in you. I don't think you have it in you to cancel it.

[Caller]

No way.

[Melissa]

You're not canceling.

[Co-host or Guest]

A mom who's buying designer handbags for your 11 year old daughter is not canceling Christmas for any reason because that

[Bert (Show Host)]

would mean less presents for you and you're not going to have that, Tina.

[Caller]

Well, I've got to do something. It's important that she go through school and she.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Of course, maybe not.

[Caller]

Right. I don't know what other option. If she's lying to us and not doing her work, then.

[Melissa]

What grade is your daughter in?

[Caller]

She's sixth grade.

[Melissa]

Sixth grade.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Okay. I mean, this is the time we said this before that you know, you have more leverage in your relationship with your kids right now than you will at any other point during the year.

[Melissa]

That's true.

[Bert (Show Host)]

So take advantage of it. Hey, Tina, I want to put you on hold and I want to talk to you. Right, sure. Okay. Wow. I'm almost guaranteeing. Guaranteeing it. And now the pressure is off. Parents and stuff to call Santa because there is that. There's the elf on the shelf guy.

[Melissa]

Yeah, he's just that second layer. Yeah. I've seen two parents, friends of mine that are parents in the last week that said that elf on the shelf is a really big deal Santa spy.

[Bert (Show Host)]

And our house is huge. Kids love it. If you're not aware of what it is, this was created by a woman in Marietta here. And our elf is Walter, who comes in every single night. He's about, I don't know, 7 inches tall, 8 inches tall or whatever, and he looks just like an elf. And he pops up at different places in the house every morning. Because what he does is he leaves the house, he reports back to Santa how the kids were, how their behavior was for 24 hours, then he shows up in another part of the house. So he always has his eyes on the kids for the weeks leading up to Christmas, and they actually wake up and they look forward to seeing where he ended up in the morning.

[Melissa]

My friends that were telling me about having this elf on the shelf in their house, the dad said that his daughter is totally fine with the elf around the house, but she gets freaked out if he ever shows up in her room.

[Bert (Show Host)]

So he's allowed everywhere with the room.

[Melissa]

The elf is allowed everywhere except for his daughter's room because she will freak out about that. She's like, I'm okay with that thing being like in the living room, but not in my room. I get it.

[Co-host or Guest]

Just for the record, I mean, he is. If he wasn't wearing a red velvet suit, he's creeper in the Corner.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Good morning, Q100.

[Caller]

Hey. Hi, Bert. Where's your Hanukkah spirit man? Hanukkah will not come to my house tomorrow if my children do not behave.

[Bert (Show Host)]

I don't know what Hanukkah Harry is.

[Caller]

He's seeing his cousin.

[Melissa]

Oh, really?

[Caller]

Did you not know? He's right up there with the passover bunny.

[Bert (Show Host)]

I do not know this story. No.

[Caller]

Yes, Hanukkah Harry. How did the Hanukkah gifts get there?

[Bert (Show Host)]

Okay, okay, so you can technically call Hanukkah to cancel Hanukkah.

[Caller]

Yes, he emails.

[Bert (Show Host)]

He emails.

[Caller]

Yes, he emails. My 7 year old informed me that she emailed Hanukkah. And yeah, yeah, just so you know,

[Co-host or Guest]

if your 7 year old's corresponding with someone on the Internet calling himself Hanukkah, he is also a creeper in the corner.

[Bert (Show Host)]

Chris Hansen is going to end up in that house quickly. Listen, it's the vert show.

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