The Bert Show: "Vault: The Worst Bit We Ever Tried To Do"

Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Air Date: November 17, 2025
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more

Episode Overview

In this throwback episode, the Bert Show crew revisits what they unanimously agree may be "the worst bit we've ever tried to do." The segment centers on reading and riffing on submissions from "The Vent"—a column in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (AJC) featuring readers' one-liners and petty gripes. What begins as an attempt at live comedy, complete with laugh tracks and improvised “ambiance,” quickly devolves into a hilariously awkward meta-commentary on failed radio ideas, creative desperation, and the agony of bombing on air. The team's self-deprecating banter, willingness to roast themselves, and participation from listeners make for an honest (and very funny) behind-the-scenes look at the art—and perils—of live broadcast comedy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Up "The Vent" Bit

• [01:32 - 02:19] The bit is explained: "The Vent" lets Atlantans submit anonymous one-liners about the city and life. The cast intends to read and perform these as stand-up, with laugh tracks and ambiance.
  • “It's basically this place where you can send in your commentary about Atlanta, the world around us, something that's bugging you...they pick the cream of the crop and print them in there.” — Co-host ([01:39])

2. Live Comedy in a Faux Diner

• [02:47 - 03:44] The crew builds a "restaurant" ambiance for their stand-up bit, poking fun at each other with made-up MC introductions as if they're at TGI Fridays or the Golden Corral.
  • “We're in a busy restaurant.” — Host ([02:54])
  • “Really good to be at the Golden Corral here tonight with you guys.” — Co-host ([04:30])

3. Reading and Reacting to AJC Vent Lines

• [04:28 - 06:32] The hosts take turns reading actual Vent submissions, often groaning or mocking the lack of humor, and blaming the city’s wit.
  • “You know, the Pandas must have hired Seger's public relations guy…” — Co-host ([04:44])
  • “I think we just evacuated the crowd at Piccadilly.” — Co-host ([04:58])
  • “But it's not Bert's lines. It's the vent lines.” — Co-host ([05:16])
  • “It's Atlanta's fault for this.” — Co-host ([05:20])

4. Meta-Reflection on Bad Content

• [05:20 - 07:11] The team openly doubts their own segment, debating if it's salvageable or just bad radio. They reminisce about previous failed "Vent" bits and joke about the pressure to fill airtime.
  • “I don't know if what we're doing right now is considered good radio.” — Host ([05:34])
  • “That's a failed bit right there.” — Co-host ([07:04])
  • “We need to work a little bit harder in the post show meeting, people. This is the reason right here.” — Co-host ([07:11])

5. Improvising Vent Punchlines: Game Segment

• [07:22 - 10:34] The segment pivots. The host reads the first half of a Vent submission, and others guess the punchline. Awkward attempts and riffs ensue. Callers get in on the action, with both cast and listeners missing the intended punchlines.
  • “It's amazing how those tiny panda cubs grow into such huge bears.” — Host ([07:54])
  • “Can'T even get through 400 traffic.” — Co-host ([08:36])
  • “Everybody ends up where they're supposed to be. Except for those who don't.” — Host ([10:37])

6. Listener Calls: Roasting the Bit

• [09:23 - 09:59 & 12:09 - 12:36] Listeners call in to say that the hosts’ attempts and self-mocking are the funniest part, drawing analogies to trainwrecks you can’t look away from.
  • “No, not the lines. Just the way y’ all are making fun of it. That's hilarious.” — Caller ([09:31])
  • “You know, when you're on 400...you can't stop looking at it. That's what I'm feeling right now...my radio stay right on Q100.” — Caller ([12:11])

7. Self-Awareness and On-Air Recovery

• [11:53 - 12:07] The team leans in, adopting a tone of weary resignation and self-mockery about “good radio.”
  • “You people need to know that sometimes it's just really, really hard to put in quality entertainment every minute of this show.” — Co-host ([11:53])
  • “Well, it was funny yesterday in the post show.” — Co-host ([12:01])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On The Nature of a Bad Radio Bit:
  • “I don't know if what we're doing right now is considered good radio.” — Host ([05:34])
• On Blaming Atlanta for the Jokes:
  • “It's Atlanta's fault for this.” — Co-host ([05:20])
• On the Bit's Origins:
  • “We were sitting in the meeting yesterday, and Bert looked at the calendar, and he goes, God, Wednesday is a gaping hole. We don't have a lot of material. And somehow this idea came up...” — Host ([05:22])
• Listener's Take:
  • “That's funny...not the lines. Just the way y’all are making fun of it.” — Caller ([09:31])
  • “That's kind of what I'm feeling right now. But don't worry. My radio stay right on Q100.” — Caller ([12:11])
• Perfect Summary of the Segment:
  • “You people need to know that sometimes it's just really, really hard to put in quality entertainment every minute of this show.” — Co-host ([11:53])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:35 - 02:20] Explanation of “The Vent” and premise of the bit
• [03:44 - 05:08] The “restaurant” stand-up and first failed jokes
• [05:20 - 07:11] Hosts debate the quality of their own segment
• [07:22 - 10:37] Game: Guess the punchline of Vent submissions
• [09:23 - 09:59] Listener call: Enjoying the trainwreck
• [10:34 - 11:45] Laugh-track punchlines, continued riffing on failure
• [12:09 - 12:41] Listener calls again, analogizes segment to a car accident: “Can’t look away”
• [11:53 - 12:07] Hosts’ self-aware sign-off on “bad radio”

Tone, Language, and Atmosphere

The episode is marked by:

• Self-deprecation: The hosts are unfiltered and unafraid to call out their own flops in real time.
• Casual Banter: The tone is laid-back, honest, and filled with playful sarcasm.
• Meta-humor: Much of the laughter comes not from the “Vent” lines themselves, but from the cast’s reactions to bombing and the shared experience of creative misfires.
• Listener Engagement: Callers join in, making the best of a bad bit, highlighting the inclusive and authentic community vibe of The Bert Show.

Summary for New Listeners

If you’ve ever wondered what happens when a morning show idea spectacularly flops, this episode is a front-row seat. Starting with the best intentions—turning anonymous one-liners from a local paper into comedic gold—the show slowly realizes that not every experiment works out. Instead of covering it up, they double down, joke about it, and even bring in their loyal listeners to laugh along with their misadventure. By the end, you’re rooting for them not because the bit is funny, but because they are.