Vault: Their Baby Is in Charge

Summary

The Bert Show – "Vault: Their Baby Is in Charge"

Date: June 11, 2026
Episode Theme:
This episode dives into the real parenting dilemmas faced by Tracy, a new mom, and her husband Scott, as they navigate their admitted softness and anxieties around discipline with their seven-month-old daughter, Ella Grace. The cast provides honest, humorous, and supportive commentary, and listeners call in to share practical advice and solidarity over the early stages of parenting and the fear of becoming disciplinarians.

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Main Discussion Points

Tracy's Parenting Challenge: Too Soft for Their Own Good

• [01:34] Tracy, the guest and new mom, shares her worry: Neither she nor her husband Scott is willing to be the “tough” parent, especially with discipline or letting their baby cry.
  • “I am way too soft, and Scott is just as soft as I am when it comes to everything, and I can't seem to change myself. So I keep hoping he's gonna step up and be the tough guy.” – Tracy [02:00]
• Both parents tend to rush to Ella Grace at the hint of discomfort, leading to concerns about the baby's developing manipulative behaviors.
  • “We both bolt to her bedroom... We're there within one second to make sure that she's okay because we don't want her to be the slightest bit upset.” – Tracy [02:45]

Cast Reactions: Humor and Honesty

• The cast (Bretzky, Melissa, Katie Jo) gently pokes fun at Tracy and Scott’s anxiety.
  • “You didn't marry the tough guy.” – Bretzky [02:38]
  • “You want her to feel unloved.” – Katie Jo, on fears of letting Ella cry [09:56]
• They confess their own lack of parenting expertise but offer relatable anecdotes and good-natured teasing, often likening dog-parenting to human parenting (with Melissa warning, “Do not. Do not. Do not.”).

The “Cry It Out” Controversy

• Tracy explains their struggles with sleep training and the infamous "crying it out" method.
  • “I've tried, like, I look to him to, like, you know, hold me up... but he's worse than I am. He's coming up with all these different reasons as to why we shouldn't do it.” – Tracy [04:38]
• The cast debates how long to let a baby cry and what psychological effects, if any, it might have.
  • “I'm so afraid there's gonna be some type of like psychological consequence because she didn't get my love for two minutes or something, you know, like it's gonna resurface 30 years from now and she's gonna have issues.” – Tracy [09:58]

Listener Call-Ins: Real Talk from Experienced Parents

• Andrea [05:52]: Offers practical advice, urging Tracy to start setting gentle boundaries now.
  • “If you don't start disciplining her now and making her do things that right now she doesn't like, that she's going to be the five-year-old screaming, pitching, temper tantrums and hitting you later on in life.” – Andrea [05:55]
  • Andrea explains the "cry it out" approach: check in, rub back, but don't pick up or linger, increasing intervals.
• Tisa [09:25]: Shares how her old-school pediatrician reassured her:
  • “He said, 'I have never in all my years a patient die of crying.' And from that point on I let my son cry and we slept and he's 11 and he's alive.” – Tisa [09:33]

Emotional Honesty & The Guilt of “Leaving”

• Tracy expresses anxiety about leaving Ella, even for short periods, revealing she and her husband have been out alone only once since the baby was born—and talked about Ella the whole time.
  • “You want me to go where without my baby? Whatever.” – Tracy [05:40]
• The cast encourages her, noting it’s a first-time parent struggle, and tease her (lovingly) about being over-attentive.
  • “I'm a horrible because I'm too attentive.” – Tracy [09:09]
  • “Like you're over the top into your kid.” – Melissa [09:12]

Will Their Softness Lead to Discipline Problems?

• The cast debates the long-term consequences, raising the fear that indulgence now could create a child who tantrums and manipulates in public.
  • “You're gonna be the parent who— I was at Target the other day and this child was screaming at its mom… screaming, buy this for me. You have to buy this for me.” – Bretzky [08:14]
  • Melissa reminds Tracy: “At some point, either you or Scott will have to step up and be the tough one.” [10:11]

Solutions and Support from the Team

• The cast offers to babysit Ella Grace to give Tracy and Scott a much-needed night out as “tough love” for the parents, not the baby.
  • “There is an open invitation that Katie and I will babysit Ella for one hour while y’all go to dinner.” – Melissa [12:16]
  • “It's one hour. It doesn't even have to be dinner. You walk down, you have a glass of wine and get an ice cream cone. Done. You're back.” – Bretzky [12:21]
• The idea is met with both intrigue and anxiety by Tracy: “We'll talk about it.” [12:28]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Tracy [02:40]: “If she doesn't want to eat her food, we're like, okay, well, she doesn't like it, we're not gonna make her eat it.”
• Bretzky [03:27]: “Six months from now, when she'll be walking... that kid is gonna lose its mind the minute you guys put one foot on the porch together.”
• Tracy [04:06]: “I'm always looking to him to be the one to say, no, we can do this. We really need to do this... but he's worse than I am.”
• Melissa [07:01]: “How long, how old should it be when they start sleeping through the night?”
• Tracy [09:58]: “I'm so afraid there's gonna be some type of like psychological consequence because she didn't get my love for two minutes or something...”
• Andrea (Listener) [10:28]: “Did her and her husband talk about parenting styles before Ella Grace got here?”
• Tracy [10:53]: “Yeah, I mean, we talked about it in the sense that like, we know that neither one of us are spankers...more timeout people... but now that I'm a parent, I know exactly how they let it get that bad.”
• Bretzky [12:21]: “It's one hour. It doesn't even have to be dinner. You walk down, you have a glass of wine and get an ice cream cone. Done. You're back.”

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Key Timestamps

• [01:34] Tracy introduces dilemma about being overly soft parents
• [02:45] Confession about watching baby monitor obsessively
• [03:27] Cast predicts trouble when Ella's older and more mobile
• [05:52] Andrea calls in with real-life advice about discipline
• [09:25] Tisa's story on letting her son cry it out and surviving
• [12:16] Cast offers practical babysitting solution to push Tracy and Scott out of their shell

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Tone & Style

The conversation balances vulnerability and humor, capturing the authentic anxieties of new parenting while showcasing the cast’s signature witty banter. Tracy’s heartfelt confessions are met with empathy, light teasing, and actionable advice, both from the show’s cast and from listener call-ins.

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Summary

This episode offers a candid, often comedic look at early parenthood’s challenges, centering on new mom Tracy’s admission that her baby “runs the house” due to both parents’ inability to set boundaries. Through supportive group banter and real advice from listeners, the show explores the delicate balance between offering love and establishing independence and discipline in children. The episode closes with the cast encouraging baby steps for the parents—setting up a trial date night sans baby, with plenty of laughter and understanding.

Transcript

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[Tracy]

Yes, adorable.

[Bretzky]

Tracy has come in here seeking parenting advice. And we can people who have no

[Katie Jo]

kids in the room, right?

[Bretzky]

No, but we all have dogs and we've had dogs longer than she's had kids.

[Melissa]

Do not. Do not. Do not.

[Bretzky]

What's wrong with you? So, Tracy, we are here to help. How can we do it? Just rub her nose in it.

[Tracy]

Well, here's the thing. I'm kind of worried because in most parenting situations you've got one person. Like it's usually the dad, I think, but it's like one parent that's a little bit tougher. You know, that can the disciplinarian yes, the disciplinarian. Or the one that, like, you know, we talked about how I was having a hard time getting her to sleep. Jeff, I think you were out. But, you know, because we constantly race in, like when she's crying. And in most situations, typically, I think it's the husband in the situation is the strong one that can say no, hold out. You know, we're going to wait three minutes and let her cry. But in our situation, I am way too soft, and Scott is just as soft as I am when it comes to everything, and I can't seem to change myself. So I keep hoping he's gonna step up and be the tough guy.

[Melissa]

That's not happening either.

[Bretzky]

No, you didn't marry the tough guy.

[Tracy]

Every little thing. I mean, if she's, you know, if she doesn't want to eat her food, we're like, okay, well, she's uncle. You know, she doesn't like it, we're not gonna make her eat it. You know, if she cries. Because I mean this, I kid you not. We watch the baby monitor, and if we're sitting in the living room and she even so much as squirms, we both bolt to her bedroom, which is like, you know, 20ft away. And we're there within one second to make sure that she's okay because we don't want her to be the slightest bit upset.

[Bretzky]

You know, it's not a problem right now. You know, it's not gonna be a problem for, like, six more months.

[Melissa]

Why do you say that?

[Bretzky]

Because right now, everything's cool. She's just hanging out. You guys are home all the time. You know, you're still feeding her. So Tracy has to be around every few hours. Like, there's a need for them to be there.

[Melissa]

And she's seven months now.

[Tracy]

She'll be seven months on the 30th.

[Bretzky]

So six months from now, when she'll be walking. Yeah. And there's less of a need for you guys to both be there. And maybe you want to go out on a date night. That kid is gonna lose its mind the minute you guys put one foot on the porch together.

[Tracy]

Well, that's the other problem, too, is you would think. Cause we've also talked about how I have a hard time leaving her, even for 30 minutes at a time, just to go out. I mean, and I did it one time. And the entire time, Scott and I talked about her for the entire 60 minutes that we managed to be out

[Bretzky]

of the house from her, there's only been One time that you and Scott have been alone together in the seven months since Ella's been born?

[Tracy]

Yes.

[Katie Jo]

And you talked about Ella the whole time.

[Tracy]

Oh, my Lord. And you would think that. I mean, I'm always looking to him to be the one to say, no, we can do this. We really need to do this. We're gonna call your parents, and we're gonna go out, and we're gonna leave her there, make it through the three hours. But he's worse than I am.

[Melissa]

He is.

[Tracy]

Yes.

[Melissa]

So he's like, I don't want to leave her either.

[Tracy]

He has a harder time with it than I do.

[Melissa]

Oh, wow.

[Tracy]

I mean, I've tried. We've talked about the doing the crying it out thing to get her to sleep. And I've tried, like, I look to him to, like, you know, hold me up and, you know, stand by me, you know, talk me through this.

[Bretzky]

And that's where the crying to sleep thing is, where you just chill out for five minutes and see.

[Tracy]

Let him cry for a few minutes, and then you go in and you check on him and let him cry for a little bit longer, and you go in and check on him or check on her. But he's worse than I am. He's like. He's coming up with all these different reasons as to why we shouldn't do it. And I'm like, no, you can't talk me out of this. I need you to be tough here.

[Katie Jo]

Do you think that once she is needing to be disciplined in the future,

[Tracy]

that she already knows that she has us wrapped around her finger? She's already getting to the point where she's manipulative, and right now we just think it's the cutest thing ever. But I know a year from now, it's gonna be a problem.

[Bretzky]

I said to Tracy a couple months ago, she was like, yeah, we've only been out on one date thing or whatever. And I said, you know, if you ever want to go, Jessica loves babies. Jessica will be over there in a heartbeat. She'll be over there for 30 minutes or three hours. Whatever you need. Totally. You know? And Tracy looked at me like I was speaking Korean. She's like, what? You want me to go where without my baby? Whatever.

[Tracy]

I know. And I don't know if it's because I'm a new mom and this is eventually gonna wear off or this is just our parenting style, and we need to be tough on ourselves, because I think it's going to be an issue, and I can't seem to break It.

[Bretzky]

Hey, Whitney, welcome to the show.

[Andrea]

Hey, how are you?

[Bretzky]

Good, how are you?

[Andrea]

I am good. I just wanted to tell Tracy I have two kids. I'm actually still buying diapers right now. But if you don't start disciplining her now and making her do things that right now she doesn't like, that she's going to be the five year old screaming, pitching, temper tantrums and hitting you later on in life because the earlier you start, they just kind of mold.

[Melissa]

How do you discipline a seven month old though? It's not, I don't really understand that.

[Katie Jo]

Are you talking about like when, when Ella doesn't want to take food? I mean like.

[Andrea]

Yeah, you just keep on trying it.

[Bretzky]

Or the crying it out thing.

[Andrea]

Like right now, you give her five minutes. You go and you check on her, you rub her back, pacifier, try the bottle, only try for about a minute or two. Rub her back, walk out, give her five more minutes. She will learn. It is a tough couple of months. Trust me, it will be tough. But once you do it, it's no problem. They become more independent. You will be able to lay her down at her bedtime, walk away and she'll go to sleep on her own.

[Melissa]

And then it'll be through the night.

[Andrea]

And it'll be through the night. It takes a few months and once she starts teasing, then all bets are off.

[Tracy]

Yes.

[Melissa]

How long, how old should it be when they start sleeping through the night?

[Andrea]

Mine started. One of them started at four weeks and the other one started at about, I want to say like 9 or

[Katie Jo]

10 because I nod like I know what everybody's talking about. But when it comes to parenting thing, I have no freaking idea.

[Tracy]

Every baby's different. Ella was sleeping through the night at three weeks old, but then a month later she wasn't.

[Bretzky]

So it just because she realized she could get a back rub. I'd wake up at 2am if I knew.

[Melissa]

Massage every night. You'd get up for that?

[Tracy]

You do.

[Katie Jo]

You get a head rub every night, don't you?

[Bretzky]

Yeah, but if I knew that if I Woke up at 2 in the

[Katie Jo]

morning, I always have to bring that up.

[Bretzky]

Yeah. If I Woke up at 2 in the morning and knew that if I just went hey and somebody would come in and rub my back, I would wake up every night.

[Tracy]

It's worse than that. She doesn't even have to say hey. She just has to roll over and we're like, oh, she's awake and she's lonely. We've got to go in there.

[Andrea]

Lonely.

[Melissa]

Oh, no, no, it's gonna be problem. Well, you know what? I'm proud of you for admitting it. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of crazy new parent behavior, but at least you're willing to open yourself up and admit it.

[Katie Jo]

You are. I do think it's a first time parent thing.

[Tracy]

I'm a horrible because I'm too attentive.

[Melissa]

Like you're over the top into your kid.

[Bretzky]

You're gonna be the parent who. I was at Target the other day and there was, I don't know how far away from me this child was, but it was screaming at its mom and I don't know what it wanted, but it was screaming, buy this for me. You have to buy this for me.

[Katie Jo]

So then you felt sympathetic to that Walmart guy screaming.

[Bretzky]

I actually understood why. The Walmart dude.

[Katie Jo]

Yeah, that dude slapped the kid, elbowed the kid.

[Bretzky]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

No, I don't think you guys will be those kind of parents.

[Tracy]

Yeah, I don't think we will.

[Bretzky]

Because you'll never take your child out of the house.

[Melissa]

No, I think they will, but I don't think that they will want to have an impolite child because you guys are both very like manner conscious and polite people. So your daughter will follow suit with that.

[Tracy]

Yeah, I mean, I think when she starts like when she gets the nasty behavior, like if she's acting bratty, I think I'd have a problem with it, but.

[Melissa]

Or the no. Or the hitting you. That's really fun. When they go through that phase, when my goddaughter went through that phase, when she would hit her mother in the face.

[Tracy]

What phase is that? How old?

[Melissa]

I want to say like I can't remember. Maybe like 14 months. Ish or something.

[Bretzky]

It was like,

[Melissa]

no, Mommy, that's not what I want.

[Bretzky]

Oh, can you be 100% sure? Mommy didn't deserve it. Hey, Tisa, welcome to the show.

[Andrea]

Hey. I was exactly at the same point you are, Tracy. And I had a seven month old little boy and I thought I was beside myself, I was so tired. And I had a very old school pediatrician and he said he totally set me free. He said, I have never in all my years a patient die of crying. And from that point on I let my son cry and we slept and he's 11 and he's alive.

[Tracy]

Yeah, I don't think I'm afraid that she's going to die. If I don't race into her room or if I don't, that's discomfort. I just don't.

[Bretzky]

I'm sorry.

[Katie Jo]

You Want her to feel unloved.

[Tracy]

Yes. And I'm so afraid there's gonna be some type of like psychological consequence because she didn't get my love for two minutes or something, you know, like it's gonna resurface 30 years from now and she's gonna have issues.

[Melissa]

But at some point, either you or Scott will have to step up and be the tough one.

[Tracy]

I want it to be him, but he won't.

[Melissa]

Have you told him that?

[Tracy]

Yes.

[Bretzky]

Hey, Andrea. Or is it Andrea or Andre Drea?

[Andrea]

Andrea.

[Katie Jo]

Andrea. Normally the non pretentious one. Yes.

[Andrea]

Right. I wanted to ask Tracy, did her and her husband talk about parenting styles before Ella Grace got here? Because I have a 10 month old son and my husband was always like, I know that you're going to be the one spanking him in Walmart or putting him in timeout and I'm going to be the one running behind you. And so I was just curious about that.

[Tracy]

Yeah, I mean, we talked about it in the sense that like, we know that neither one of us are spankers, you know, that we're more, we're going to be more timeout people and stuff like that. And we've talked about it like, you know, watching Super Nanny and wondering, oh God, how did the parents let it get that bad? But now that I'm a parent, I know exactly how they let it get that bad.

[Bretzky]

Because your child is perfect and there's no reason to discipline them or not run to their every need because they're so helpless right now.

[Tracy]

So I just need you guys to tell Scott to toughen up.

[Bretzky]

Okay, Well, I actually have, I have an idea. I think you guys both need tough love, you know, So I think, I

[Tracy]

mean, we're going to swap and I'm going to take Sasha for a week.

[Bretzky]

No, it doesn't have to be that extreme. But I think you need to sometime in the next week or so, next seven days or, you know, we might have to extend it. Cause we do have a health issue here. But Melissa has been doing a lot of baby talk. Katie Jo loves babies. Tracy, you live walking distance to some great restaurants. I think at some point Melissa and Katie Jo come to your house at dinner.

[Katie Jo]

I'd be happy to do that.

[Bretzky]

They'll bring a pizza, they'll sit in the house once I'm well with Ella, eat their pizza. And you and Scott have to leave the house for one hour. No phone call, no check in one hour.

[Tracy]

Oh, I don't know.

[Melissa]

And the topic of Ella Grace is off of the table.

[Bretzky]

No, that won't happen. There's zero chance of that happening. Baby steps.

[Melissa]

Baby steps.

[Katie Jo]

There is an open invitation that Katie and I will babysit Ella for one hour while y' all go to dinner.

[Bretzky]

It's one hour. It doesn't even have to be dinner. You walk down, you have a glass of wine and get an ice cream cone. Done. You're back.

[Tracy]

We'll talk about it.

[Bretzky]

The Burt Show. What's up, everybody? It's Bretzky. And America is turning 250. And I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games, live craft bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play for free and win real cash prizes. Spinquest.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Boyd. Where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.