Vault: These Post-Holiday Updates Were Worth the Wait

Summary

The Bert Show: "Vault: These Post-Holiday Updates Were Worth the Wait"

Release Date: June 1, 2026
Main Theme:
The Bert Show crew reconnects with listeners to revisit dramatic or heartwarming holiday scenarios they discussed before the break. From family surprises to Christmas celebrations gone awry, the episode delivers closure, advice, and plenty of real-life laughs.

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Key Discussion Points and Listener Updates

1. The (Almost) Affair Over the Holidays

Timestamps: [00:52]–[01:44]

• Background: "Mary" had called in before the holidays stating she was considering having an affair while her husband was overseas.
  • [01:18] D (Mary): "I am going to out of town for the holidays and for New Year's and I might have an affair."
  • She described feeling lonely, and her friend's confession of a crush sparked her contemplation.
• Host Reactions: The cast expressed collective discomfort at her giggly, light-hearted attitude toward infidelity.
• Follow-up Status: No update from Mary in the aired segment, but the show notes listeners were eager for closure due to the story’s controversial nature.

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2. Surviving the 'Monster-in-Law'

Timestamps: [01:44]–[02:46]

• Background: "Jennifer" dreaded hosting her manipulative mother-in-law for a week during Christmas.
  • [01:59] D (Jennifer): "I have a monster-in-law that's gonna be staying with me for a week."
  • Recalls a past incident where her mother-in-law forced her to wear pink to a funeral, isolating her from the rest of the family.
    • [02:26] D: "So she made me go out and buy a new outfit, which was pink. So I show up to the funeral in pink, and everyone else is wearing black."
• Host Commentary: The cast jokes about who'd rather face a week with the in-law versus other holiday 'burdens,' but no follow-up from Jennifer is given on this episode.

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3. The Double Baby Reveal

Timestamps: [03:01]–[05:07]

• Caller: "Kim"
• Background: Kim was pregnant with twins, and her husband's family, visiting for the holidays, only knew about one expected baby.
  • [03:01] E (Kim): "I'm pregnant...I'm having a C-section...they don't know that we're having twins."
• Update: Both twins (a boy and a girl) were delivered safely after Christmas.
  • [03:44] E: "I had a boy and a girl."
  • [03:48] E: "I had Jacob Alexander and Daisy May."
  • The surprise reveal brought tears of joy to the family, with Kim’s mother-in-law especially moved.
    • [03:56] E: "His mother started crying, and it was just really sweet."
    • The family stayed through New Year’s, creating cherished memories.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • [05:02] E: "Oh, I'm crying." — showing her emotional gratitude.

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4. The Christmas Swap – When Traditions Go Sideways

Timestamps: [05:11]–[09:39]

• Caller: "Jana"
• Background: Jana’s son, Zachary, was born on Christmas. To make his birthday special, her husband decided to take down all Christmas decorations overnight and celebrate the holiday a day later.
  • [05:16] E: "Our oldest, Zachary, was born on Christmas... this year, my husband wants on Christmas morning to take down all the holiday decorations."
  • [05:36] B: "That's a cool idea."
• Update: The plan backfired.
  • [06:10] E: "It did not go well."
  • All three kids woke up to no Christmas decorations and a note from Santa—and all cried.
    • [06:13] E: "When the three kids woke up, they all cried."
  • Even birthday-boy Zachary’s initial joy faded seeing his siblings’ disappointment.
  • The family improvised: Jana took the kids to their grandparents while her husband "called Santa" to restore Christmas that afternoon.
    • [07:11] E: "...asked for Christmas to come back. And...his brother and sister would really like Santa to visit today. And was there any way we could call Santa..."
  • Ultimately, the day ended positively, but Jana emphasizes not to disrupt holiday tradition.
    • [09:12] E: "Don't do it, don't do it."
    • [09:14] A (Host): "Don't mess with Santa's schedule."
  • Advice to Listeners: If you haven’t conceived your child yet, try to avoid a Christmas Day due date. The hosts joke about timing conception.
    • [09:25] A: "Just hold off in March when you're ovulating."

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5. Bonus Family Surprise Story

Timestamps: [09:37]–[10:20]

• Host Anecdote: One of the hosts shares a story about a family surprising their kids with a Disney World trip on Christmas morning, only for the kids to be disappointed because they wanted to stay home and play with their new toys.
  • [10:00] A: "They thought the kids were gonna go nuts. The kids were like, but wait, we wanna stay here and play with all of our toys that Santa brought."
  • Lesson: Don’t upend Christmas traditions with big surprises; kids cherish the familiar.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:56] E (Kim): "...his mother started crying, and it was just really sweet."
• [06:10] E (Jana): "It did not go well."
• [09:12] E (Jana): "Don't do it, don't do it."
• [09:14] A (Host): "Don't mess with Santa's schedule."
• [10:00] A (Host, on the failed Disney surprise): "The kids were like, but wait, we wanna stay here and play with all of our toys that Santa brought."

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Episode Takeaways

• Don't Disrupt Traditions Lightly: Holiday traditions, especially for children, provide comfort and joy. Even well-intentioned surprises can go sideways.
• Family Dynamics Are Complicated: Whether dealing with in-laws or holiday logistics, communication and empathy are critical.
• Cherish the Real Moments: The episode’s warmth came from authentic family stories—joys and messes alike.

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Useful Timestamps

• [00:52] — Start of listener updates on post-holiday drama
• [03:01] — Kim's twin baby update
• [05:11] — Jana’s attempt at moving Christmas
• [09:37] — Bonus host story about Christmas and Disney surprise

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Overall Tone

Playful, light-hearted, and genuine, with moments of empathy and wisdom from both the hosts and listeners. The Bert Show crew keeps it real, laughs through the awkwardness, and supports listeners even when holiday plans don't go as intended.

Transcript

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Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Bird show why do we want to talk to you after New Year's? Got a bunch of calls before we took off and we're trying to track everybody down right now. Here's the one that upset most people before we left because she was so callous about this. You guys remember Mary, who was about to have an affair?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I am going to out of town for the holidays and for New Year's and I might have an affair.

[B]

You might have an affair for Christmas.

[D]

The thing is that my husband isn't here. He's overseas. I've been a little lonely here and a friend of mine told me that he had a crush on me. Now I'm going to his sister's wedding and we might hook up.

[B]

It's a longer call than that, but she was so, like, almost like laughing about it. Giggly, giggly about it. Like so excited by the prospect of the whole thing. Turned a lot of people off. We wanted to get an update from her. Then there was Jennifer, who was concerned about her monster in law.

[D]

Well, I have a monster in law that's gonna be staying with me for a week.

[A]

Did you say monster?

[D]

She decided to move to Florida and my husband decided not to go with her. And so when that happened and he chose me over her, it was on. His great aunt had died. It was her aunt. And so I drove him down there. I used my money, my gas to go take him down there to be with his family. So I get there and she's like, aunt Ruby Lane wouldn't have wanted us to wear black to her funeral. She would want us to celebrate her life.

[A]

So.

[D]

So she made me go out and buy a new outfit, which was pink. So I show up to the funeral in pink, and everyone else is wearing black.

[A]

Oh, stop it. Oh, that's right. You missed this.

[B]

You aren't here for that.

[E]

No.

[A]

That is a must say. Yeah. This woman was so manipulative. Yes.

[B]

And that monster in law was gonna be in her house for seven days.

[A]

Seven days. As long as Bert was on the Disney cruise with, when he sees her

[B]

kids, I would take the monster in law. I don't know. So we're trying to catch up with them. We do have Kim ready to go. This was why we wanted to check back with her today.

[E]

Well, I'm pregnant, and my husband's family is coming here for Nashville for Christmas, and I'm having a C section on the Monday after Christmas on the 28th. And they don't know it that we're having twins. So when they get here, they think that they're just going to be here for the birth of one child. And actually it's going to be two.

[B]

Okay. So nice surprise. This one can't go wrong, right? Hey, Kim. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[D]

Good morning.

[B]

Good morning. How did it go?

[E]

Everything went great. I'm just a little tired, but everything is fine.

[B]

You have new mommy voice.

[E]

I think so. I'm so tired. I sleep like an hour if that at a time.

[A]

Wow.

[E]

I had a boy and a girl.

[B]

Congratulations.

[E]

Thank you. Thank you. I had Jacob Alexander and Daisy May.

[B]

And how did the surprise go with the rest of the family?

[E]

They were completely surprised. My husband went out of the delivery room. I had a C section. And he had the video camera in his hand. And he said, well, we have a boy. And as soon as he said that, his parents went to hug him. He said, wait a minute. And a girl. And they just stepped back and both of them kind of looked at each other and his mother started crying, and it was just really sweet. I watched it a couple of days ago and it was really sweet. And they ended up staying through the new year. They were so sleep on New Year's Eve. And they've been such a great help, and it was wonderful.

[A]

Oh, that sounds so great.

[B]

Congratulations. Did you guys hear about those twins that were born in separate decades?

[A]

Yes. How does that work?

[B]

Same thing. Twins. And they perform the C section. But the timing of it was. One was born in 2009. Oh, yeah. And the other one came out in 2010.

[A]

Since we're in a new decade now, that's gonna be bragging rights for the first kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For forever.

[B]

I was born first. A different decade.

[A]

Different decade in this.

[E]

Dude.

[A]

I'm your older sibling.

[B]

Congratulations, Kim.

[E]

Thank you so much.

[B]

All right, bye. Bye. Go get some rest.

[E]

Oh, I'm crying.

[A]

Goodbye. She's like, yeah, whatever, Bert.

[B]

This was Jana, who was moving Christmas for her son's birthday.

[E]

We have three kids, and our oldest, Zachary, was born on Christmas 12 years ago. Being a Christmas baby, he. He kind of gets the shaft. Well, this year, my husband wants on Christmas morning to take down all of the holiday decorations for Zachary.

[B]

That's a cool idea.

[E]

With a note from Santa that reads, happy birthday, Zachary. Hope you enjoy your day. Christmas will be here tomorrow.

[B]

Okay, that's cute.

[A]

I forgot about that.

[B]

What was the controversy about that?

[A]

I didn't really love that because there were other siblings that were gonna have to postpone it. I didn't love the idea, but that's okay. It was a birthday Christmas, so she was moving it.

[B]

Hey, Jana. Good morning.

[E]

Hi there. Hey.

[B]

How are you?

[E]

I'm okay. Happy New Year.

[A]

Happy New Year.

[B]

How did things go? How was this received by the rest of the family?

[E]

It did not go well.

[B]

No.

[E]

We went with my husband's plan and we left the note. He took down all the Christmas decorations overnight, left the note from Santa, and when the three kids woke up, they all cried. Well, my four year old and my six year old started crying first. And then Zachary, the oldest, whose birthday it is on Christmas Day, he was really excited at first, but then once he saw his siblings start to cry, that was it.

[B]

Oh, no. So he wasn't happy. The siblings weren't happy. Dad, did you guys do. Did you do Christmas like on Christmas Eve the same exact way you would do it on Christmas morning?

[E]

No, we left a note. The note from Santa said that Christmas will be here tomorrow. So we were planning on doing Christmas the next day, resuming Christmas, basically.

[B]

So this was Santa's orders. Okay. Just because we do have kids listening right now. Okay. Yeah, I got you.

[E]

So. Well, Zachary, again, the oldest, being so upset, asked for Christmas to come back. And, you know, he was really sweet and just, you know, he kind of said to us, well, he's a little old for Santa, but, you know, his brother and sister would really like Santa to visit today. And was there any way we could call Santa and have Santa come on Christmas Tree. So I packed up the kids and went to my in laws for lunch and they had some presents to open over there which was really nice. And explained to them that daddy was going to stay behind and call Santa to come while we were at our grandparents house and tell Santa to deliver Christmas while we were at lunch. So my husband stayed behind and took Santa Zachary's birthday decorations down and prepared for Santa's visit. And Santa came that afternoon. So after, after lunch we went back and had Christmas. And Zachary, you know, really was so sweet and I can't believe, you know, 12 years old, he explained to us that he didn't mind, he didn't mind having a birthday and Christmas on the same day.

[B]

I'm more concerned with Santa here than anything else. Cause his day is finally done. I mean he's gone around the world house to house.

[A]

He's probably already.

[B]

And he's tremendously relieved. The last, I mean, the last name is crossed off the list and then he gets a call from your husband going, I'm sorry, you gotta be back in Atlanta. And he's like, come on man, I'm already packing. He's like, I'm in the Caribbean, Caribbean Grand Cayman in four hours. And I think it was cool of him to show back up.

[E]

Me too. Santa really, really went out of his way for us this year.

[A]

That is pretty cool.

[B]

Santa clutches up. So at the end of the day everybody was happy with it. But if you were going to give advice to others, you would say, no,

[E]

don't do it, don't do it.

[A]

Don't mess with Santa's schedule. Let him come on schedule. If you haven't conceived your child yet, just be sure and try to plan it so that they're not born on Christmas Day. It just means hold off in March when you're ovulating in March. Right. Isn't it, Isn't that it?

[B]

I don't endorse that.

[A]

I say February or March. Yeah, just hold off one month.

[B]

So it all ended up working out in the end of the day, but definitely not the kind of advice you would give to other parents.

[E]

Exactly.

[B]

Okay, thank you for the.

[A]

Aw. I had some friends, I had some friends of friends over the holidays that tried to do this with their kids. They have three kids in Florida and woke up, did the whole, you know, Santa came, did the Christmas thing, whatever. And they said their big surprise was going to Disney World. So the final present that the kids opened was Mickey Mouse ears. And they said, all right kids, the car's already packed.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

We're going to Disney today. And they thought the kids were gonna go nuts. The kids were like, but wait, we wanna stay here and play with all of our toys that Santa brought. So it was a little deflating for the parents who had put together this whole plan that was a big thing for the Christmas. But they said once they got to Disney it was all good and the kids forgot about it.

[B]

Just don't mess with that. Just that's not a day for surprises.

[A]

Yeah, mess up the tradition and didn't really come up the same thing. Talk about him being a people pleaser from now on.

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