The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: These Women Confess To Having Backup Boyfriends
Airdate: January 7, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)

Overview

In this lively and candid episode, The Bert Show tackles the somewhat taboo and often misunderstood topic of "backup boyfriends." Inspired by a listener's real-life confession, the hosts open up a heartfelt, funny, and sometimes brutally honest discussion about whether women commonly keep a "backup plan" in their dating lives—be it a mental shortlist, a guy friend, or even an ex. Listeners chime in with their own stories, revealing a mix of perspectives and plenty of memorable, laugh-out-loud moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining the “Backup Guy” (01:24 – 03:16)

• The hosts react to Tracy’s story about her friend being distressed over another man—not her boyfriend—moving away.
• Tracy shares:

  "She's all bummed out because he's leaving...she said, 'Well, he's my backup guy.'...I laughed because I did the same thing for my first year with Scott. In the back of my mind, I would always have a if-things-don't-work-out guy." (02:05)

• The conversation explores whether this is a Tracy-only phenomenon or something most women do.
• The hosts tease Tracy, pressing her to confess who her backup was (jokingly suggesting fellow host Jeff Dollar).

2. Honesty Levels and Relationship Security (03:16 – 03:55)

• Tracy clarifies:

  "I think in general girls just always have to have somebody that they like...so if things don't work out with your boyfriend, then you have the guy you could like. Or...an ex boyfriend that they could fall back on if things don't work out." (03:16)

• The panel debates if this is true for most women and whether men do the same.
• Tracy distinguishes between actually dating backups versus just mentally "bookmarking" someone.

3. Listeners Call In: Real Stories of Backup Guys

Michelle’s Story (03:50 – 04:34)

• Michelle (via voice disguiser):

  "I do have a backup guy. Well, actually I have two...the first time [my boyfriend] broke my heart, so I have a 23-year-old that comes up and sees me, and I have my ex boyfriend that I see from time to time—I just keep them on the back burner just in case he decides to act like an ass again." (03:56)

Amy’s Take (06:30 – 07:22)

• Amy (calling from South Florida):

  "Let me just tell you, all the guys down there suck. And so you have to have a backup line at all times because you never know what's going to happen with the one you're with." (06:41) "I have a fiancé I'm getting ready to get married to that I love very much. But I have to be in the same type of position… it just makes you mentally, in case something goes wrong, you have some backup." (07:04)

“Sarah” Uses a Guy Friend as Backup (07:49 – 08:32)

• Sarah (with voice disguiser):

  "Yeah, I got a backup guy. He's one of my close guy friends that we've known each other for four or five years...It's always been some tension there, but we never pursue anything because it's always an awkward time and I'm openly in relationships right now...I always know if my boyfriend and I don't work out...I always live for my best guy friend." (07:56)

4. Host and Co-host Reactions: Gender Differences & Stereotypes (04:50 – 06:29)

• The male hosts compare backup guys to the "booty call" for men, but the women argue the motives are different.

  "Like, no, guys don't think that far ahead." (04:55, male co-host) "For women, it's like the backup guy is like, oh, maybe somebody I date and really fell in love with...for you guys, it's like, oh, we'll string them along just so we can do them again." (04:57, female co-host)

• They also joke about women having wedding plans ready, with only the groom’s name missing, poking fun at gendered approaches to relationships and commitment.

5. Notable Themes & Relationship Psychology

• The idea that women often feel lost without someone to be interested in or “daydream about.”
• The difference between emotional/romantic “backups” (women) versus physical “backups” (men).

  "I do think a woman is lost if she's not interested in somebody...she has to be attached or thinking, daydreaming about somebody." (07:27, female co-host)

6. Clarifying the “Backup”: Does it Have to Be a Friend or Ex? (08:32 – End)

• Tracy notes her backup was sometimes just “a guy on my radar,” not necessarily a friend or ex.

  "I remember my backup guy wasn't even anybody I really talked to. It was just somebody on my radar..." (08:46, Tracy)

• Other hosts discuss whether the “backup guy” is a good friend, a coworker, or just someone you occasionally flirt with.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tracy:

  "I'm not crazy. I'm just honest." (01:53)

• Host (to Tracy):

  "What happened to honesty?"
  Tracy: "No, I'm honest to a point." (02:55)

• Amy (caller):

  "All the guys down there suck. And so you have to have a backup line at all times." (06:41)

• Co-host (male):

  "You guys are looking back to get in some other way." (05:48)

• Co-host (female):

  "I do think a woman is lost if she's not interested in somebody...she has to be attached or thinking, daydreaming about somebody." (07:27)

• Host (to Tracy and panel):

  "Should we be hearing this going, okay, if she has a close guy friend, then if she breaks up with me, she's thinking about the close guy friend as her backup guy?" (08:32)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:24 – 02:46: Tracy’s friend and the definition of the backup guy
• 03:50 – 04:34: Michelle shares her real-life “back burners”
• 06:30 – 07:22: Amy’s logic on always having a backup in South Florida
• 07:49 – 08:32: “Sarah” describes using her best guy friend as backup
• 04:55 – 06:29: Gender differences/Jokes about wedding plans and relationship approaches
• 08:32 – End: Clarifying whether a backup can be anyone—even just a coworker on your “radar”

Tone and Style

The episode balances humor, honesty, and occasional mock-battle between the genders, with plentiful teasing and a breezy, self-aware style. The hosts aren’t afraid to poke fun at themselves, each other, and the generalizations they toss around. Listener stories add authenticity and relatability, revealing that the phenomenon of the “backup boyfriend” is more nuanced and widespread than many might think.

TL;DR:
The Bert Show dives deep (and with lots of laughs) into the “backup boyfriend” phenomenon, hearing confessions from listeners and debating whether it’s emotional insurance, a survival tactic, or just plain crazy. For many women—and more than a few men—keeping a “plan B” on the romantic front isn’t as rare as some might like to think!