Vault: These Women Confess To Having Backup Boyfriends

Summary

The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: These Women Confess To Having Backup Boyfriends
Airdate: January 7, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)

---

Overview

In this lively and candid episode, The Bert Show tackles the somewhat taboo and often misunderstood topic of "backup boyfriends." Inspired by a listener's real-life confession, the hosts open up a heartfelt, funny, and sometimes brutally honest discussion about whether women commonly keep a "backup plan" in their dating lives—be it a mental shortlist, a guy friend, or even an ex. Listeners chime in with their own stories, revealing a mix of perspectives and plenty of memorable, laugh-out-loud moments.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining the “Backup Guy” (01:24 – 03:16)

• The hosts react to Tracy’s story about her friend being distressed over another man—not her boyfriend—moving away.
• Tracy shares:

  "She's all bummed out because he's leaving...she said, 'Well, he's my backup guy.'...I laughed because I did the same thing for my first year with Scott. In the back of my mind, I would always have a if-things-don't-work-out guy." (02:05)

• The conversation explores whether this is a Tracy-only phenomenon or something most women do.
• The hosts tease Tracy, pressing her to confess who her backup was (jokingly suggesting fellow host Jeff Dollar).

2. Honesty Levels and Relationship Security (03:16 – 03:55)

• Tracy clarifies:

  "I think in general girls just always have to have somebody that they like...so if things don't work out with your boyfriend, then you have the guy you could like. Or...an ex boyfriend that they could fall back on if things don't work out." (03:16)

• The panel debates if this is true for most women and whether men do the same.
• Tracy distinguishes between actually dating backups versus just mentally "bookmarking" someone.

3. Listeners Call In: Real Stories of Backup Guys

Michelle’s Story (03:50 – 04:34)

• Michelle (via voice disguiser):

  "I do have a backup guy. Well, actually I have two...the first time [my boyfriend] broke my heart, so I have a 23-year-old that comes up and sees me, and I have my ex boyfriend that I see from time to time—I just keep them on the back burner just in case he decides to act like an ass again." (03:56)

Amy’s Take (06:30 – 07:22)

• Amy (calling from South Florida):

  "Let me just tell you, all the guys down there suck. And so you have to have a backup line at all times because you never know what's going to happen with the one you're with." (06:41) "I have a fiancé I'm getting ready to get married to that I love very much. But I have to be in the same type of position… it just makes you mentally, in case something goes wrong, you have some backup." (07:04)

“Sarah” Uses a Guy Friend as Backup (07:49 – 08:32)

• Sarah (with voice disguiser):

  "Yeah, I got a backup guy. He's one of my close guy friends that we've known each other for four or five years...It's always been some tension there, but we never pursue anything because it's always an awkward time and I'm openly in relationships right now...I always know if my boyfriend and I don't work out...I always live for my best guy friend." (07:56)

4. Host and Co-host Reactions: Gender Differences & Stereotypes (04:50 – 06:29)

• The male hosts compare backup guys to the "booty call" for men, but the women argue the motives are different.

  "Like, no, guys don't think that far ahead." (04:55, male co-host) "For women, it's like the backup guy is like, oh, maybe somebody I date and really fell in love with...for you guys, it's like, oh, we'll string them along just so we can do them again." (04:57, female co-host)

• They also joke about women having wedding plans ready, with only the groom’s name missing, poking fun at gendered approaches to relationships and commitment.

5. Notable Themes & Relationship Psychology

• The idea that women often feel lost without someone to be interested in or “daydream about.”
• The difference between emotional/romantic “backups” (women) versus physical “backups” (men).

  "I do think a woman is lost if she's not interested in somebody...she has to be attached or thinking, daydreaming about somebody." (07:27, female co-host)

6. Clarifying the “Backup”: Does it Have to Be a Friend or Ex? (08:32 – End)

• Tracy notes her backup was sometimes just “a guy on my radar,” not necessarily a friend or ex.

  "I remember my backup guy wasn't even anybody I really talked to. It was just somebody on my radar..." (08:46, Tracy)

• Other hosts discuss whether the “backup guy” is a good friend, a coworker, or just someone you occasionally flirt with.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tracy:

  "I'm not crazy. I'm just honest." (01:53)

• Host (to Tracy):

  "What happened to honesty?"
  Tracy: "No, I'm honest to a point." (02:55)

• Amy (caller):

  "All the guys down there suck. And so you have to have a backup line at all times." (06:41)

• Co-host (male):

  "You guys are looking back to get in some other way." (05:48)

• Co-host (female):

  "I do think a woman is lost if she's not interested in somebody...she has to be attached or thinking, daydreaming about somebody." (07:27)

• Host (to Tracy and panel):

  "Should we be hearing this going, okay, if she has a close guy friend, then if she breaks up with me, she's thinking about the close guy friend as her backup guy?" (08:32)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:24 – 02:46: Tracy’s friend and the definition of the backup guy
• 03:50 – 04:34: Michelle shares her real-life “back burners”
• 06:30 – 07:22: Amy’s logic on always having a backup in South Florida
• 07:49 – 08:32: “Sarah” describes using her best guy friend as backup
• 04:55 – 06:29: Gender differences/Jokes about wedding plans and relationship approaches
• 08:32 – End: Clarifying whether a backup can be anyone—even just a coworker on your “radar”

---

Tone and Style

The episode balances humor, honesty, and occasional mock-battle between the genders, with plentiful teasing and a breezy, self-aware style. The hosts aren’t afraid to poke fun at themselves, each other, and the generalizations they toss around. Listener stories add authenticity and relatability, revealing that the phenomenon of the “backup boyfriend” is more nuanced and widespread than many might think.

---

TL;DR:
The Bert Show dives deep (and with lots of laughs) into the “backup boyfriend” phenomenon, hearing confessions from listeners and debating whether it’s emotional insurance, a survival tactic, or just plain crazy. For many women—and more than a few men—keeping a “plan B” on the romantic front isn’t as rare as some might like to think!

Transcript

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Weight Loss by Hers Advertiser]

I feel like this time of year everybody wants to feel like their best self. If weight loss is one of your goals in 2026 and you're ready to make progress, then you might want to check out weight loss by hers. Through her, you're connected with a licensed medical provider who actually looks at your goals and decides if treatment is right for you.

[Tracy]

And if it is.

[Weight Loss by Hers Advertiser]

Your plan is personalized, whether that's oral medication kits or GLP1 injectables, plus ongoing care, adjustments and support along the way. I mean, it goes beyond medication. There's nutrition tips, lifestyle guidance and tools to track things like movement, hydration and sleep. Everything's 100% online. There's no hidden fees and options. Start at just $69 a month with a 10 month plan paid up front. Feel like your best self again. Visit borders.combert to get a pur personalized, affordable plan that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R S.com Bert for hers.com Bert Alice by hers is not available everywhere. Compounded drug products are not approved or evaluated for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescriptions required. See website for full details, important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

The Birch show all right, looking for.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

A little honesty here with women. We may find out here Tracy's friends are just as crazy as Tracy. Or we may find out that all women, again, as Jeff would say, are pretty much nuts.

[Co-host (male)]

Yeah, I mean every woman has a level of crazy. I mean, very few are so deep into the crazy pool is crazy. But you know, I mean, usually she's.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

The lifeguard at the crazy pool, right?

[Co-host (male)]

Usually when.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Right.

[Co-host (male)]

Usually when you're swimming, the people you're swimming with are, you know, similar. So this will be fun.

[Tracy]

I'm not crazy. I'm just honest.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Now, we need some honesty from women here because from time to time we ask these questions and if you really want it, we'll put you on the voice disguiser here. But this may just be a Tracy's clique of friends is crazy also.

[Tracy]

Yeah, one of my really good friends called me the other day and she's all distraught because this guy she works with is moving and my first reaction was, so, because she has a boyfriend. She's had a boyfriend for about nine months now. I've never heard of this guy that's moving. And she's all bummed out because he's leaving. And I said so? And she said, well, he's my backup guy. I'm like, what do you mean he's your backup guy? And she goes, you know, if things don't work out with. I don't want to say her boyfriend's name because I don't think he'd be too thrilled about this. But if things don't work out with John, then I'm gonna like this guy. And I laughed because I did the same thing for my first year with Scott. In the back of my mind, I would always have a if things don't work out guy.

[Co-host (male)]

Who was it?

[Tracy]

I'm not telling you that.

[Co-host (male)]

Come on. No, give it up.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

It was Jeff Dollar.

[Co-host (female)]

It was Jeff because he wasn't married at the time. That's right.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

It was Jeff Dollar, wasn't it?

[Co-host (male)]

I thought you were honest. What happened to honesty?

[Tracy]

No, I'm honest to a point.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Honest to the point of argument.

[Co-host (male)]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Once there's an argument on the line, game over. So 404-741-1005 now, does this person have to be an ex boyfriend or is this just a person that you have in your mind that if things don't work out with the guy you're currently seeing that you can fall back on?

[Tracy]

Yeah, I think in general girls just always have to have somebody that they like or that they're interested in or that they could possibly get somewhere with. So if things don't work out with your boyfriend, then you have the guy that you could like. Or I would also say that most girls in the back of their head have an ex boyfriend that they could fall back on if things don't work out.

[Co-host (male)]

If not an ex boyfriend, I would agree on the guy friend. Like, you know, kind of keeping like a guy friend around in the pool where, you know, they know they're just your friend.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

But if things don't work out, you could fall back and hang out with this other guy.

[Co-host (male)]

Some gray area.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

We're going to call this listener Michelle and you are on the voice disguiser. Good morning. Good morning.

[Caller]

I do have a backup guy. Well, actually I have two. I'm currently dating the father of my child and we just got back together after a long time. But the first time he really broke my heart. So I have a 23 year old that Comes up and sees me, and he's immobile. And then I have my ex boyfriend that I see from time to time, and I just keep them on the back burner just in case he decides to act like an ass again.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

So now the difference here is that these.

[Co-host (male)]

That's a back burner guy.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

These are two guys, right, that you. That you're still around, that you're actually kind of dating, whereas producer Tracy's talking about just the thought of a guy.

[Tracy]

Yeah.

[Co-host (male)]

And I don't.

[Tracy]

I think there gets to be a point in your relationship, though, where you're comfortable and you're confident that things are gonna work out so you lose the backup guy. But just in case, for the first nine, 10 months, you have to have somebody that if things don't work out, I'm gonna. Like, so and so see, And I.

[Co-host (male)]

Think this is the guy's. The guy's version of this is the booty call.

Like, no, guys don't think that far ahead.

Like, no, y' all do. Y' all keep some women on the back burner just in case you need to go. But for. And yours, it's more for physical. It's like, for women, it's like the backup guy is like, oh, maybe somebody I date and really fell in love with and, you know, live happily ever after with. For you guys, it's like, oh, we'll string them along just so we can do them again.

You know how you.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Yeah. Like, I don't disagree with that.

[Co-host (male)]

But guys, see, it's totally different because it's not a backup anything. Like, guys aren't looking for a replacement, because when a guy gets out of a relationship for whatever reason, like, let's say the woman goes, you know, crazy and sees him talking to another girl, so punches him in the head and throws a lamp at him. Like. Like, guys. Guys don't, like, once that relationship's over, they're not looking to get back into that. Like, that's not like, they're not trying to find.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

But they swear off women. We're like, man, it's gonna be so long until I get in a relationship again. Until, like, two weeks. No, I know.

[Co-host (male)]

It's totally different. I know it's totally different, but you guys are looking back to get in some other way.

But, like, the women. You guys have your folder with all the wedding stuff. And the only thing that's not determined by, you know, May 18, 2007, the day I'm gonna get married. I've had a plan since I was 11. The only thing that's not planned is the groom. The dress is picked out, the flowers are picked out, the ring, the engagement.

[Co-host (female)]

Listen to what you just said though. Guys don't think that far ahead. So somebody's gotta do it. So the woman has. A woman has planned stuff.

[Co-host (male)]

She just hung.

Oh, Burns.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Burns, dang.

[Co-host (male)]

Thank you know what? They should just abolish marriage. That'd be so much easier.

[Co-host (female)]

Some circles they have.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Yeah. Hey Amy, you're on all the hits Q100. No, Amy doesn't need it. Hey Amy.

[Caller]

Hi, how are you?

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Good, thank you.

[Caller]

I was gonna call and say that she's definitely not crazy. Her friend because I'm from South Florida. Let me just tell you, all the guys down there suck. And so you have to have a backup line at all times because you never know what's going to happen with the one you're with.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Now again, we're not talking about somebody that you're kind of currently hooking up with while you're with your boyfriend. This is just somebody mentally, you know, that you're going to start dating if your boyfriend breaks up with you.

[Caller]

Yeah, of course, exactly. I understand that. And I would say I'd probably be in the same position as that girl as well. But I have a 9 month old and I have a fiance I'm getting ready to get married to that I love very much. But I have to be in the same type of position to have someone in the background as well. It just makes you mentally, in case something goes wrong, you have some backup.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Yeah. The difference here is that like men aren't looking to relationship hop. Women are looking to relationship hop.

[Co-host (female)]

I think a woman is. I mean it goes with what Tracy said. I mean because in my case I don't even think it's somebody that I'm gonna date. It's somebody I'm gonna pursue for sure because it's not always the case where I'm actually gonna be with that person. But I do think a woman is lost if she's not interested in somebody, if she's not in a situation, if she's not in a relationship and she's not interested in somebody, she's lost. She has to be attached or thinking, daydreaming about somebody.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

We will need the voice disguiser for this call and we will call this virtual listener. Sarah. Good morning.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Hello.

[Caller]

Hi. How are you guys doing today?

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Good, how are you?

[Caller]

I'm pretty good looking. Kind of weird going in here talking about my backup guy, but. Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

Uh huh. You've got one.

[Caller]

Yeah. I got a backup guy. He's one of my close guy friends that we've. We've known each other for like four or five years now. And it's always been some tension there. But we never pursue anything because it's always an awkward time and I'm busy open relationships right now. But it's always been playful. And it's like in the back of my mind where I was like, I always know if my boyfriend I don't work out. And we've been together for two years now. I always live for my best guy friend.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

So there's a kind of a reoccurring theme that I'm hearing here as a guy. Should we be hearing this going, okay, if she has a close guy friend, then if she breaks up with me, she's thinking about the close guy friend as her backup guy.

[Tracy]

I remember my backup guy wasn't even anybody I really talked to. It was just somebody that was on my radar, that was about my age, that was attractive, that if things didn't work out, I was gonna like him.

[Co-host (male)]

Jordan, you're gonna pursue him. I think that Tracy's right. I don't think it's necessarily a good guy friend. I think it could be just like her friends, which is just a co worker that she probably flirts with here and there, you know, when she sees him at the copy machine. Like somebody that she hadn't even gone there with yet. I think a good guy friend is probably not that person. Like Tracy would never have, like Phil as her backup guy. But Tracy and Phil are really good friends.

[Tracy]

Oh, but for so many reasons.

[Host (possibly Jeff)]

The Burt Show.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Big news. Boost mobile is now sending experts nationwide to deliver and set up customers new phones at home or work.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Wait, we're going on tour?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Not a tour. We're delivering and setting up customers phones so it's easier to upgrade.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Let's get in the tour bus and hit the road.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

No, not a tour bus. It's a regular car we use to deliver and set up customers phones at home or work.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Are you a groupie on this tour?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

We deliver and set up phones. It's not a tour.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Oh, you're definitely a groupie.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Introducing store to door. Switch and get a new device with expert setup and delivery wherever you're at.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Delivery available for select devices [e-mail] knock knock. Ooh, who's there?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

A Boost mobile expert here to deliver and set up Your all new iPhone 17 Pro. Designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

You call that a knock knock joke?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

This isn't a joke. Boost Mobile really sends experts to deliver and set up your phone at home or work.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Okay, it's just that when people say knock knock, there's usually a joke to go with it.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Like I said, this isn't a joke.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

So the knock knock was just you knocking?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah, that's how doors work.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro delivered and set up by an expert wherever you are. Delivery available for select devices purchased at boostmobile.com, terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.