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Visit borhears.com navigating/military challenges can be tough Regardless of when you served, you are not alone. Connect with fellow Oregon veterans and find activities, navigate resources and join a community to help support your journey or challenges after military service. From mental health support to veteran community groups and activities, discover what's possible for you at BeyondTheMilitaryUniform.com that's BeyondTheMilitaryUniform.com the first show.
Jess
So I was, you know, Thanksgiving weekend making the phone calls, catching up with people, talking to people, you know, friends from Arizona, friends from Syracuse, just seeing how everybody's doing. And one particular guy I spoke to was explaining to me what he was going to be doing the next morning. I was speaking to him on Saturday. He was explaining to me that on Sunday morning They have twin 1 year olds. I think baby, little babies. They are getting up. They don't go to church regularly, but they're getting up, they're getting dressed up, they're dressing the babies up and they're getting in a car and going to finger quotes church because the people who have been staying at their house over Thanksgiving are so annoying and we're supposed to leave on Saturday and, and didn't so they made up going to church on Sunday morning. And then from church they had to do some church related, oh, we're gonna be gone all day, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So to them, it was worth it to get up in the morning, dress up the two one year old twins, put them in the car seat, get dressed up in church clothes themselves, load up the car, say goodbye, and take off rather than risk those people spending another full day at the house.
Danisha
That's funny.
Jess
And that's. That's impressive. I was impressed.
Amber
Yeah, well, I think this is gonna be pretty common around Christmas also. It's like, how do you get the guests out of the house? They said they were gonna be there for three or four days. So what do you do? Like, I mean, do you sit them down, you don't want to offend them, or do you set the border, the parameters, before they get to the house and say, okay, great, you're gonna be here till Sunday. That sounds fantastic.
Jess
Well, you know what?
Amber
What if they just decide not to? Like, okay, you know what? Let's forget that we had that conversation. Stay on Monday and Tuesday.
Jess
But here's the deal. And this is a. Jess. So I don't know, you guys can. I don't know if I buy into it yet, but the problem with these people, where they drove in on Thanksgiving, the plan was for them to drive in on Thanksgiving and drive out on Saturday, because then you're missing the traffic. You know, Wednesday's the bad traffic day and Sunday's the bad traffic day. But when they drove in on. Drove home from work or whatever on Wednesday, it wasn't too bad. So after they got there, they decided to extend it till Sunday.
Caller 1
But.
Jess
But it wasn't really an ask. It was just, hey, we're gonna stay until Sunday. Guess what, we got an extra night. Blah, blah, blah. And there were other. Yeah, and I guess there were other things that were, like, borderline rude and invasive that were just kind of odd that my friend didn't know how to deal with. And this is something that Jessica and I have talked about. Jessica says in situations like that, people don't have a scale of rude. So you can say to them, hey, can you do me a favor and not drink all of the Diet Coke? Because that's all I drink. And you're giving it to your kids and they're drinking it all.
Amber
Wow.
Jess
Don't give. She thinks that's acceptable to people who behave like that. Whereas I think that if you say that to someone, then they'll turn around and give you the. Oh, my God, it's only Diet Coke. What do you want me. You know what? I'm gonna drive to the store. Hey, everybody, I'm driving to the store for Jeff because he can only have his Diet Coke. Like, I think, how come when somebody's
Amber
being rude to you, if you call them out on it, you're worried about being rude?
Jess
They can flip it back.
Caller 2
Why?
Amber
Like, if they're staying there too long or what have you. Why all of a sudden is the pressure on you to be nice about it?
Jess
Because some people don't.
Danisha
Because they don't realize they're being rude. And you know you're being rude. I think that's. Internally. That may be the difference where you.
Caller 2
I don't think they realize.
Danisha
They don't realize that they're. They're making you mad.
Caller 2
They're uncomfortable. I assume that it is a joy to you to have them for two more nights than what you were expecting. Like, oh, we get to bond more. We get to spend more time together. You don't really have a life that you need to attend to. You need to attend to me as your house guest.
Amber
That's my belief that A little close to home for you. You connected on some level there.
Danisha
Maybe that's why I believe in cyber Christmas. Because that way you just get your little laptop cameras out and say, hey, you know what? We're going to spend Christmas together online.
Amber
If we were doing a birch show, Guinness Book of worlds records, I wonder what. What number we could find as the agreed upon amount of days that your guests were gonna be there turned into. How many days did they end up staying?
Caller 2
I think about this with my friends that have had babies on their first babies. The mom of the mom of the mom.
Amber
So the grandmother.
Caller 2
Yes, the brand new grandmother comes and moves in for, like, weeks.
Amber
I'm cool. See, I was totally cool with that. Like, some moms want it, but other moms want to start, like, being on their own without the grandmother's help there. For me, it was like, stay as long as you want. We were begging Gigi to stay when she took.
Caller 2
I don't know, from the outside looking in. I'm like, a couple of weeks. But then after that, you're cramping my style. Like, I don't know. You gotta get out from the outside looking in. I mean, I have a friend who's about to have a baby. It's her. I think it's her first, and it's like a family friend and her Mom's moving in for a month and.
Amber
But they said that in the beginning, right? Totally cool with that.
Caller 2
This is before the baby's even born. A month.
Amber
Stay six months if you want. We were so scared.
Caller 2
But what would the different.
Jess
What would the timeline be? One year.
Amber
That's way too much.
Jess
That didn't take long to get burnt, I'd say.
Amber
You know, what? With Hayden, it was so different. We were so freaked out that she could have been in that house probably for the first six weeks to two months, and we'd have been cool with it. Living there, living there, no problem.
Caller 2
Every day.
Amber
I don't care. I don't care.
Jess
Every damn day.
Amber
As soon as she left the house, I knew that we were gonna kill the baby. So stay as long as you want.
Danisha
Yeah. As long as Mom's there, the baby's alive.
Amber
Danisha. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller 1
Hello? Hello?
Caller 2
Hello?
Caller 1
So I had. I've heard this saying that friends, family, and fish are only good for four days, and after that, they gotta go.
Amber
Friends, family, and fish.
Danisha
That's what the fish do.
Caller 1
Things start getting really bad after four days.
Danisha
Fish poops in its own water. That's what a fish does.
Jess
I don't think she's referring to goldfish.
Caller 2
Like the fish you eat.
Jess
Yeah.
Caller 2
Like if you put it in your fridge, it's.
Danisha
I mean, the fish in the bowl.
Amber
Kind of gross to me.
Jess
They all start to stink after four days.
Danisha
Yeah, I agree with the. I don't know. But the family, for sure. Especially if you're all together in the same house. Is three for us.
Caller 2
It's all three.
Amber
Really, for you.
Caller 2
Two family, four days for you in your own house.
Danisha
Yeah, yeah.
Caller 2
Hosting them. Yeah.
Danisha
Yeah.
Caller 2
It's about the. That's about the expiration, really. Now I always feel like. And it. It always seemed this way to me, like whoever's family was coming to visit is. It's always the questions of the. Hey, where do you keep the fill in the blank here? Do you mind if I go and find the fill in the blank there? Where do you put your. Blah, blah, blah? Why don't you guys do this over? It was the questions. It was like, okay, just somebody just relax. Like, stop asking me.
Jess
Stop looking for stuff.
Danisha
Family will rearrange it on their own. Without you asking. Without asking.
Caller 2
Silverware is to the left of the stove.
Amber
I told you that. Four straight days. Hey, Brooke. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller 1
Hey, I was calling because I have had the exact problem y' all are talking about with my mother in law. She came when we had our first child and was gonna leave after two weeks and it turned into six weeks and my husband finally had to tell her, you know, why don't you go home and spend some time with dad, he needs you. And then I just had to have surgery, a hysterectomy, and couldn't even ask for help because I was afraid she would stay too long.
Caller 2
She's like, I'd rather see.
Amber
I would have taken advantage of her being there and had the operations at that time because she's gonna be there, she's gonna help out hand and foot,
Danisha
get your food, you get your medicine.
Amber
If you're gonna be here, you gotta work.
Caller 2
But that's not even your mom. Your mother in law.
Amber
Hey Amber, Good morning. You're on Q100.
Caller 1
Good morning. I had a good family overstaying their welcome story. We, my dad and three baby brothers came down from New York to visit this past summer and looking for fun, affordable things to do with three little kids. We went roller skating where dad fell and broke his leg.
Jess
Oh no.
Caller 1
And they were in my little two bedroom, one bath condo for five weeks.
Caller 2
Oh my God.
Amber
And initially they were supposed to be there for how long?
Caller 1
Like 10 days.
Amber
Oh wow. Five weeks.
Caller 1
Where we had all sorts of activities planned and things to do and five weeks of basically it was like being single and happy and then marrying an invalid in his 3 eating mach.
Danisha
Those walls just get smaller and smaller. Yes.
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Radio Host
The Birch Show Navigating post military challenges can be tough. Regardless of when you served, you are not alone. Connect with fellow Oregon veterans and find activities, navigate resources and join a community to help support your journey or challenges after military service. From mental health support to veteran community groups and activities, discover what's possible for you at BeyondTheMilitaryUniform.com that's BeyondTheMilitaryUniform.com youm know what?
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Jan from Toyota
Hey campers, it's Jan from Toyota. This summer we're headed to Camp Toyota and the fun starts now. We're kicking things off by kicking up mud. Jump in, campers. We're going off roading in a 4Runner. Next, we're heading to the hot springs in Arav 4. And finally, park your Tundras and Tacomas around the campfire because we're roasting marshmallows. There's dumber start here.
Amber
Dealer inventory may vary, so your participating
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Toyota dealer for details.
Jess
Event ends June 1st.
Amber
Toyota. Let's go places.
Episode: Vault: They Pretended to Go to Church to Escape Houseguests
Date: May 22, 2026
This episode dives into the relatable chaos of houseguests who overstay their welcome during the holidays. The hosts and callers share hilarious and sometimes exasperated stories about creative strategies to politely (or not so politely) nudge lingering guests out, setting boundaries with family, and the social etiquette challenges that come with hosting—especially during high-stress, family-centric times like Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Jess on Fake Church (01:45):
“Rather than risk those people spending another full day at the house.”
(Describing the extreme lengths hosts will go to regain their privacy.)
Amber on Calling Out Rude Behavior (04:49):
“How come when somebody's being rude to you, if you call them out on it, you're worried about being rude?”
(Capturing the core dilemma of hosts everywhere.)
Danisha on Virtual Holidays (05:28):
“Maybe that's why I believe in cyber Christmas. Because that way you just get your little laptop cameras out and say, hey, you know what? We're going to spend Christmas together online.”
(A tongue-in-cheek solution to avoid houseguest overload.)
Caller 1 on the 4-Day Rule (07:19):
“I've heard this saying that friends, family, and fish are only good for four days, and after that, they gotta go.”
Caller’s Dad’s Accident (09:29):
“We went roller skating where dad fell and broke his leg. And they were in my little two bedroom, one bath condo for five weeks.”
Amber on Houseguests Staying to Help (06:51):
“Living there, living there, no problem... As soon as she left the house, I knew that we were gonna kill the baby. So stay as long as you want.”
The episode is fast-paced, witty, and candid, filled with authentic, sometimes self-deprecating humor as hosts and listeners exchange stories and advice. The show maintains a light, relatable tone throughout, with moments of empathy for both beleaguered hosts and well-intentioned but oblivious guests.
Summary Prepared for Busy Listeners:
If you've ever agonized over how to get houseguests to take a hint or laughed at the lengths people will go (think: fake church services!) to reclaim their homes, this episode is not to be missed. From callers’ real-life sagas to the cast’s own battles with boundary-challenged relatives, it’s a goldmine of holiday hospitality horror stories—with plenty of laughs and takeaways for your next family gathering.