Vault: This Bert Show intern spills all the secrets

Summary

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The Bert Show Podcast

Episode: Vault: This Bert Show intern spills all the secrets
Air Date: July 28, 2026
Summary by: The Bert Show

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Episode Overview

This episode features longtime intern Reshma as she prepares to leave the show for new opportunities in California. With nothing left to lose on her last day, Reshma is given free reign to “spill all the secrets” she’s learned while working behind the scenes at The Bert Show. The conversation is candid, comedic, and revealing, offering listeners a peek into the unfiltered reality of life as part of the show’s inner circle.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reshma’s Departure and Future Plans

• Reshma shares her plans to head to California for several internships but promises to return for the fall semester.
• The hosts place lighthearted bets on whether she’ll really come back.
  • Quote:
    • Host 3: "You're not coming back because we can use those..." (01:49)
    • Intern Reshma: "I'm telling you I am. I would, I'll bet on this, like I will put money on this that I'll be back." (01:36)

2. The Difference Between On-Air and Off-Air Life

• Reshma reflects on the striking differences between being a listener and a show insider.

• She describes how certain studio realities (and absurdities) don't translate to the air.

  Timestamps:

  • "Sad because we're only gonna play this a couple more times...This is intern Reshma's Ike music." (01:02)
  • "Once I got here, my things just changed a little bit for me." (02:12)

• Reshma reveals the kind of behind-the-scenes conversations that happen before the show goes live, such as extensive chats about "the cause of hemorrhoids and celebrity butt sweat." (02:41)

3. Studio Secrets and Antics

Outdated Technology

• The show's computers are comically slow, described as “from 1850,” leading the team to consider buying their own network.
  • Quote:
    • Intern Reshma: "The technology is from 1850...you cannot emphasize how slow the stuff is here." (02:55)
    • Host 1: "It's maddening. I mean, it's not even usable." (03:23)

Surprising Discoveries

• Reshma shares the bizarre studio reality of discovering various porn sites open on studio computers early in the morning.
  • Quote:
    • Intern Reshma: "The first thing I walk into the computers and see is, like, different sites of, like, porn, porn, porn. I'm like, oh, what a great way to start my morning." (03:43)

Fist-Pumping at "Easy Money"

• The team has a quirky ritual: every time the “Easy Money” bed plays, everyone in the studio fist pumps in unison, sometimes getting very into it.
  • Quote:
    • Intern Reshma: "Everyone, no matter what they're doing, will stop and be like, okay, ready, go. And start pumping." (04:24)

4. Individual Host Habits Exposed

• Bert: Eats a bagel and yogurt at precisely 8 a.m. every morning, without fail. (04:43)
• Wendy: Turns everything into a song, including “bagel and yogurt.”
  • Reshma sings the "Yogurt and bagel Diet" song (05:11)
• Melissa: Obsessed with winning a pedometer step competition, runs laps around the office. (05:23)
• Jen: Her facial expressions reveal everything she's feeling, especially when dealing with disagreeable listener calls. (06:03)
• Jeff: Described as addicted to his "CrackBerry" and laptop, to the point of barely looking up.
  • Quote:
    • "Jeff, like, right now, is addicted to his CrackBerry and laptop. Like, his head goes up, like, five seconds, and he claims to be working, but I can't see his laptop." (06:36)

5. In-Studio Hazards

• Bert is notorious for throwing crumpled paper at Wendy during traffic updates, causing conditioned flinching among staff.
  • Intern Reshma: "Whenever a piece of paper is crumpled, no matter where I am in the entire world, I fear that I'm gonna get a concussion." (06:51)
  • Host 1: "All you can see is my hand. The hand of danger come up over the monitor." (07:23)

6. Rule: Save Good Stories for On-Air

• The team is adamant about stopping personal or funny conversations mid-sentence off-air to preserve them for live broadcast, often yelling "shut up — save it for the air!"
  • Quote:
    • Host 1: "Whenever we have a really great conversation off the air, that's personal, and we try to recreate it on the air, it sucks." (07:56)
    • Host 2: "Shut up. Don't speak." (08:10)
• Meltdowns ensue if entertainment news stories get accidentally aired or spoiled off mic.
  • Quote:
    • Host 2: "This is a funny story. We're going to do it at 6 o' clock." (08:23)

7. The Intimacy—and Embarrassment—of Interning

• Reshma notes the unspoken rule that the more personal or embarrassing a story, the more likely it ends up on the air.
  • Quote:
    • "The more personal and intimate a story is that you don't want to talk about, the more likely you're gonna talk about on air." (09:10)
• Everyone, not just the main cast, contributes their own stories for the show’s content.

8. Interns and Hangovers

• It’s not uncommon for staff—especially interns—to roll in "super drunk from the night before."
  • Intern Reshma: "There's been several occasions where people of the Bert Show...show up super drunk from the night before." (09:29)
  • The team jokes that an internship may even require it: "Yeah, it's fair. We have to drink to put up with you gu." (10:05)

9. Why There’s No Webcam in the Studio

• The hosts openly admit that the unfiltered, off-air conversations would be far too incriminating if broadcast.
  • Host 1: "There's a reason why we've never put a webcam up in here...the stuff that we talk about that you guys don't hear would get us fired in a minute." (10:26-10:36)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Studio Secrets:
  • Intern Reshma: "This morning alone, off the air...the two conversations were the cause of hemorrhoids and celebrity butt sweat." (02:41)
• On Office Rituals:
  • Intern Reshma: "Bert eats the exact same thing at the exact same time." (04:40)
  • Host 1: "Eight o'clock every morning." (04:43)
  • Host 2: "Eight o'clock every morning, without fail." (04:44)
• On the Show’s Culture:
  • Host 1: "It really is [the reason people tune in]. And you know, there's a reason why we've never put a webcam up in here." (10:26)
• On Intern Life:
  • Intern Reshma: "If I got nothing else at the internship... just to be in here and listen to this every single morning. The conversations people can have from 5 to 10am astound me." (10:05)

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Memorable Segment Timestamps

• Reshma’s future and bets about returning: 01:16–01:39
• Off-air conversations revealed: 02:41–03:01
• Computers with porn: 03:31–03:46
• The “Easy Money” fist pump ritual: 04:07–04:24
• Bagel and yogurt song: 05:08–05:18
• Melissa’s pedometer competition: 05:23–06:03
• Bert’s paper-throwing: 06:49–07:27
• Shutting down off-air stories: 07:32–08:14
• Lack of studio webcam insight: 10:26–10:46

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Tone & Atmosphere

The mood is playful, honest, and irreverent, full of inside jokes, self-deprecation, and observational humor. The show’s signature camaraderie is on display as Reshma “roasts” everyone with affection and the team embraces the chaos behind their polished radio presence. The episode delivers a revealing, often hilarious, behind-the-scenes look at the quirks and bonds that shape The Bert Show.

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Transcript

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[Bubba Wallace]

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[Spin Quest Announcer]

It's the virt show.

[Host 1]

Sad because we're only gonna play this a couple more times.

[Host 2]

I know.

[Host 1]

This is intern Reshma's Ike music right here. She's leaving us, but she's going to California.

[Intern Reshma]

I am, I am.

[Host 1]

Congratulations.

[Host 2]

Thank you.

[Host 1]

You got a job all lined up out there.

[Intern Reshma]

I do. I got a couple internships out there. So I'm originally from California. So I'm gonna go out there for the summer and try it out and see if I like it, see if it works out. But I will be back in the fall for finish up school.

[Host 1]

Can we all take a side right now? Yeah, can we take a side bit now? Because Reshma says she's coming back to hang out with us. She gets back.

[Bluff]

No, you're not.

[Host 3]

No, you're not.

[Intern Reshma]

I'm telling you I am.

[Host 1]

No, you're not.

[Intern Reshma]

I would, I'll bet on this, like I will put money on this that I'll be back.

[Host 3]

Well, you're, I mean, an intern. We can't put money on it, but yeah. Yeah, but you're not coming back from California. Seriously.

[Host 2]

Really?

[Host 1]

We'll bet you both credits that you're earning right now, right?

[Host 3]

You're not coming back because we can use those.

[Host 1]

So intern Reshma is like anybody else that walks in here that listens to the show for a certain amount of time, has an impression in their head. But then you get to be part of the family and you're hanging out here in studio and you gotta realize that off the air things sometimes are a little different than they are on the air. And I think Reshma has a. Has had an education in that.

[Intern Reshma]

Yeah. I feel like in my almost year here that I've gained a little bit more insight than the average listener, because I was a listener before I joined the show. And once I got here, my things just changed a little bit for me. A little or a lot? Just a little bit for me. I mean, there's certain things that are about the building, but there's certain things being on the show. Example number one.

[Host 2]

And then.

[Host 1]

This is dangerous today. This is her last day. She got into this. She has nothing to lose.

[Intern Reshma]

She'll sell us out.

[Host 2]

I know.

[Intern Reshma]

I went to Joanna to check something out, and she was like, do it. And I was like, all right, I'm gonna do it.

[Host 2]

Okay.

[Intern Reshma]

This morning alone, off the air. I know listeners love knowing what we talk about off the air this morning, the two conversations were the cause of hemorrhoids and celebrity butt sweat.

[Host 3]

Butt sweat. Butt sweat.

[Intern Reshma]

Butt sweat.

[Host 1]

Those were actual conversations that we had

[Intern Reshma]

on, and they were extensive, intense conversations. Like, they weren't just, like, side conversations. They went on and on and on. And then there's some other things, like Q100. Great radio station and everything. The technology is from 1850. Like, nothing gets done. I know they talk about it all the time, but you cannot emphasize how slow the stuff is here. I mean, we get here early to try and get the computers going and going and going if they work.

[Host 1]

It's maddening. I mean, it's not even usable. Like, we're buying our own network, so the morning show can use it because the computers are so slow here.

[Host 2]

Serious. Yeah.

[Intern Reshma]

And then sometimes you want to blame it on this, but I've been in the studio on numerous occasions. Numerous occasions at 6am when there is porn on all of these computers. And the first thing I walk into the computers and see is, like, different sites of, like, porn, porn, porn. I'm like, oh, what a great way to start my morning.

[Host 4]

Seriously, that hasn't happened in, like, eight weeks. Interestingly, Enabom hasn't been here in, like, eight weeks.

[Intern Reshma]

And then during the.

[Host 4]

Who would have thought Annenbaum looks more porn than Billy Bush?

[Intern Reshma]

During the Easy Money, the new music that producer Josh has put in, everyone in the studio simultaneously. Fist pumps.

[Host 1]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Intern Reshma]

And on and on, which cracks me up.

[Host 1]

It's the actual winter bed, and there's

[Host 3]

a certain time at which we fist pump.

[Host 1]

It's.

[Intern Reshma]

It's synchronizing 100.

[Host 5]

You want to tell them when we start?

[Intern Reshma]

Yeah. Say it.

[Bluff]

It's the bird shows.

[Host 2]

Easy money.

[Host 1]

Yeah, that's a piss pump.

[Intern Reshma]

Everyone pumps sometimes they get really into it and they keep going, but everyone, no matter what they're doing, will stop and be like, okay, ready, go. And start pumping. And then I'm going to personal pick a little bit on each of you. Every single day, without fail, Bert eats the exact same thing at the exact same time.

[Host 2]

Every day.

[Intern Reshma]

Every day.

[Host 1]

What is it?

[Intern Reshma]

A bagel and yogurt.

[Host 1]

Eight o' clock every morning.

[Host 2]

Eight o' clock every morning, without fail.

[Intern Reshma]

Eight o', clock. Rocks around yogurt, cups peels open. He looks for a spoon, gets the bagel and wants to start going without fail. Yogurt, yogurt, bagel, yogurt. And ever since ever. Well, going on to this, Wendy, I don't know if she realizes this turns everything into a song on and off the air. And it's so funny because she'll sit there, like the other day we're talking about Bert opens up his bagel and yogurt, and Wendy starts singing a bagel and yogurt song.

[Host 3]

It's just funny.

[Host 1]

It's every day. What is the bagel and yogurt song?

[Intern Reshma]

Yeah, Yogurt and bagel Diet. Yogurt and bagel Diet. It's a country tune.

[Host 1]

We are idiots. You are such idiots.

[Intern Reshma]

Okay, so Melissa, now that she's got her bet going on with Katie Jo, is never in the studio unless she needs to be. She is running laps around the office so she doesn't lose his bet with Katie Jo.

[Host 1]

Now, I'm not sure that's really the reason why she's leaving the studio every single time.

[Host 4]

Now.

[Host 3]

It has a lot to do with it now. Yeah. Katie Jo and I have this bet because Katie got us pedometers and so we have a pedometer off. So like every night we. It's almost like gun slinging. When you see those old westerns, when you pull out the pistols and shoot, we pull up our pedometers and press the button and see who got the more steps in during the day. So, yeah, so I'm doing laps because this studio is much bigger than where Katie works, so I can get more steps in before I go.

[Intern Reshma]

Okay, so, Jen, it's so worth being an intern. And I love where I sit just to watch Jen's face during the morning show. She gets so, like. She's one of those people that, like, wears her emotions on her face. So whenever she's upset about something, she'll like. If a listener calls and she disagrees, she will have, like, the most stank face in the entire world. Or if she's, like, super sad, she'll start dancing around. And it literally makes my day to watch Jen during the show.

[Host 4]

Oh, just a quick heads up. We did play the thousand dollar music. We're not giving anything away right now.

[Host 1]

Is that my pretty Scarlet?

[Host 4]

So apologies to Joanna for that. Good job, Reshma. Way to go out with a bang.

[Intern Reshma]

It's my last day. I don't care. And then Jeff, like, right now, is addicted to his CrackBerry and laptop. Like, his head goes up, like, five seconds, and he claims to be working, but I can't see his laptop, so I don't know about that.

[Host 4]

Well, how do you think the porn gets on all the computers on the Internet?

[Intern Reshma]

That would make sense. Okay. Whenever a piece of paper is crumpled, no matter where I am in the entire world, I fear that I'm gonna get a concussion. I know. People know that Burt hits Wendy in the face during traffic. If Wendy pauses, it's not her fault. Burt hits her in the face with

[Host 3]

a paperwash just like that.

[Intern Reshma]

And from where we sit, we can't see what, like, Bert's doing. So if he hits us, we have no way to defend ourselves. Wendy has, like, you know, there's nothing she can do. We get hit from, like, the most random times, and it scares me.

[Host 4]

Bert's a little guy already, and he's behind computer monitors, so he's, like, in a foxhole.

[Host 1]

All you can see is my hand. The hand of danger come up over the monitor.

[Host 5]

It's like an instinct reaction. When you hear people crumble, you start flinching.

[Host 3]

Yes, it is.

[Intern Reshma]

It makes me so uncomfortable. And every time they'll be talking off air, for some reason or not for some reason, they let. Everyone on the show shares personal stories with actual reactions on air. So whenever someone starts talking and starts sharing their opinion or something, everyone screams on the air. And it is stuck in my mind whenever someone says on the air. Even in real life now, I'm like, okay, Rashmo, shut up. Don't.

[Host 1]

Because whenever we try to. Whenever we have a really great conversation off the air, that's personal, and we try to recreate it on the air, it sucks.

[Host 5]

You can't have the conversation twice.

[Host 1]

So now if Jen starts to give us something really personal, we'll all start yelling,

[Host 2]

Shut up. Don't speak.

[Host 3]

You're an idiot.

[Host 2]

Hush. The air.

[Host 3]

The air.

[Host 5]

I get really mad, too, when people start talking about entertainment news stories in here off the air.

[Intern Reshma]

I'm like, shut up.

[Host 2]

This is a funny story. We're going to do it at 6 o'. Clock.

[Host 4]

Were you in here yesterday when Bert accidentally took one of Melissa's news stories?

[Spin Quest Announcer]

No.

[Host 1]

Oh. She almost killed me with her fire beam eyes.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Oh my God.

[Host 2]

On the air, Darn it. My segment and I mean it's. I got three times an hour, did the spotlight. That's all I get to be giving me that. Five things you need to know today. You did one. I'm down to 80% good. You know what? I'm gonna walk around this building, double time.

[Intern Reshma]

And it's crazy because as interns, we put our own personal stories in and as well as you guys put your own personal stories I'm working on.

[Bluff]

Yeah.

[Intern Reshma]

And so it's crazy cause as an intern, I've learned that the more personal and intimate a story is that you don't want to talk about, the more likely you're gonna talk about on air. That breath's gonna be like, reshma, come over here. Let's talk about this. Let's discuss this really intimate thing that you don't wanna mention something today.

[Host 1]

Today is graduation day.

[Intern Reshma]

Here's my final. That is. Well, actually, I have two things. One, there's been several occasions where people of the bird show, not just the immediate cast, but people in general, show up super drunk from the night before. And it always cracks me up like interns, whoever.

[Host 1]

But it is when he is not an intern anymore. I can't insult her like that.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 4]

Wait, who are you talking about?

[Intern Reshma]

But I am telling everyone out there.

[Host 4]

Who are you talking about?

[Intern Reshma]

Yeah, I want to know people in general who.

[Host 1]

Yeah, call them out last day.

[Intern Reshma]

Who's gonna hear that?

[Host 4]

Lauren.

[Intern Reshma]

I can't do that.

[Host 4]

You talking about Lauren?

[Intern Reshma]

Well, most of the interns. Most of the interns at one point

[Host 1]

or another have been.

[Host 3]

That's an internship.

[Intern Reshma]

Yeah, it's fair. We have to drink to put up with you gu. But I will say to college people out college students out there who can get credit, it is totally worth being in the internship to hear the personal stories on the show. If I got nothing else at the internship, nothing else, just to be in here and listen to this every single morning. The conversations people can have from 5 to 10am Astound me.

[Host 1]

It's the reason. It really is. And you know, there's a reason why we've never put a webcam up in here. Also, it's because the stuff that we talk about that you guys don't hear would get us fired in a minute.

[Host 5]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 4]

We can't even do our burns Big adventure broadcast without having a few slip ups.

[Host 5]

Oh, I know. With all those families and kids around, I realize how awful we are.

[Host 4]

Typically the webcam. Who had the conversation? What?

[Host 1]

You and I dropped the S bomb a couple of times?

[Host 4]

No, you had a conversation about someone talking crap about somebody.

[Host 3]

Right?

[Host 1]

That's right. And it was live on the webcam.

[Host 4]

Hey, let's not stream this after the fact. Let's just let the people who saw it live enjoy it here.

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