Vault: This Couple Is At Odds Over Their Wedding Guest List

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: This Couple Is At Odds Over Their Wedding Guest List
Date: December 30, 2025
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast (including Kristen, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)

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Overview

In this lively and relatable episode, The Bert Show hosts a special “Couples Court” centered on Howard and Karen, an engaged couple caught in a passionate debate over their wedding guest list. The discussion touches on family expectations, wedding etiquette, budgetary constraints, and the emotional minefield of building a guest list. Listeners are invited to weigh in and ultimately settle the dispute.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Ground Rules (01:34–02:27)

• Bert sets the tone: once the Burt Show listeners decide who’s right, the argument is officially over between Howard and Karen.
• Howard’s confident: “You guys are gonna agree with me, so I have no problem with it at all.” – Howard (02:24)

2. The Core Disagreement: Who Gets Invited? (02:35–05:14)

• Howard wants a large wedding (up to 300 guests from his side) due to his extensive family, church ties, fraternity, and friends, arguing, “I mean, these are people that have supported me my entire life...” (02:49)
• Karen favors a 200-person guest cap, split evenly: “If it’s somebody that you don’t talk to at least once a month, then they really don’t need to be there.” – Karen (03:41)
• Gendered friendship differences discussed: men consider people friends even without regular contact; women want to know all names. “Your friendships are just so different than ours are.” – Jen (04:17)

3. The Etiquette Dilemma: Wedding Vs. Reception (04:20–05:36)

• Karen objects to inviting guests to the ceremony only, especially if they are traveling, calling it rude: “We can’t ask people to travel from another state and tell them to come to a half hour wedding but don’t come to the reception.” (04:31)
• Jen and others agree—logistics and etiquette demand feeding guests who travel.

4. Creative Solutions & Listener Advice (05:36–09:42)

• Suggestions arise: “You could have, like, a separate, like, fellowship reception after your wedding...then ask everybody to stay afterwards for, like, a little thing in the parish hall...” – Jen (05:36)
• Howard resists, wanting everyone present for the main event.
• Listener Amy calls in, saying she sides with Howard and that it's fine etiquette to have some guests only attend the ceremony (06:27–06:58), but Karen highlights the issue of guests traveling long distances.

5. Budget & Venue Challenges (07:44–08:15)

• Karen points out venue limitations: “A lot of these places won’t hold more than 200 people.” (07:49)
• The question, “Who’s paying for this wedding?” arises (08:07), revealing both will contribute.

6. Expert Opinion: The Event Planner's Take (08:40–09:16)

• Miranda, an event planner, labels Howard’s approach “very tacky,” arguing: “...you’re basically saying, you can come and buy me a present, but I’m not going to thank you for that.” (08:54)
• Howard jokes: “We’ll give them like a packet of bubbles or something...” (09:07)

7. The Family Perspective: Howard’s Mom Calls In (09:58–13:09)

• Howard’s mother reveals their immediate family is nearly 100 people and their church is very involved (10:16–10:32).
• She’s diplomatic and supportive—emphasizing budget, togetherness, and perhaps additional celebrations in Nashville or Pittsburgh (12:02–12:15): “Whatever we decide is going to be together because we do have a budget and we have to work on it.”
• When prompted on whether Karen will “forsake the church,” she laughs it off, and both families are acknowledged.

8. The Verdict: Listener Vote Determines the Outcome (13:21–14:32)

• Tension builds as Howard and Karen vote for themselves.
• Results: Karen wins with 337 votes; Howard gets 181 (14:01–14:08)
• “She did exactly what you should do as a married couple when there’s a fight that ends, put your hands in the air and scream, I won.” – Bert (14:13)
• The decision: the guest list will be limited to 200 people.

9. Final Thoughts & Takeaways (14:32–14:57)

• The hosts advise the couple to use the Burt Show as an arbitrator for future disputes, tongue-in-cheek.
• A closing reminder: “You’ve learned a very valuable lesson. She’s the bride.” – Jen (14:52)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On wedding guest criteria:
  “If it’s somebody that you don’t talk to at least once a month, then they really don’t need to be there.”
  – Karen (03:41)

• On male friendships:
  “We can go months without talking to each other. And then I could call you and we’ll pick up right where we left off. And we’re best friends.”
  – Bert (03:54)

• On out-of-town guests:
  “We can’t ask people to travel from another state and tell them to come to a half hour wedding but don’t come to the reception.”
  – Karen (04:31)

• On etiquette:
  “It is very tacky to invite people to the wedding and then not to the reception because you’re asking them to buy a present... and then you’re basically saying, you can come and buy me a present, but I’m not going to thank you for that.”
  – Miranda, event planner (08:54)

• On family size:
  “Howard, immediate family is almost 100 people...I have a family of 12 children and 12 children plus their children, plus their children.”
  – Howard’s mom (10:16–10:32)

• After Karen’s win:
  “And you know what? She did exactly what you should do as a married couple when there’s a fight that ends, put your hands in the air and scream, I won.”
  – Bert (14:13)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:34] Couples Court introduction and guest list stakes
• [02:35] Howard and Karen explain their positions
• [03:32] Karen’s preferred guest-list approach
• [04:31] Debate on etiquette for out-of-town guests
• [05:36] Suggestions for alternative celebrations
• [06:27] Listener Amy’s input
• [08:40] Event planner Miranda’s professional take
• [09:58] Howard’s mom offers family insight
• [13:41] The vote and results
• [14:52] Final lesson: “She’s the bride.”

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Tone & Style

The episode is energetic, good-natured, and filled with the playful banter characteristic of The Bert Show. The hosts inject humor and authenticity into what could easily become a stressful topic, making the dilemma relatable to anyone who has planned a wedding or attended a heated family discussion.

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Summary Takeaway

Ultimately, the Burt Show listeners sided with Karen (and wedding etiquette experts): keeping the guest list to 200, evenly split, is the fairest and most gracious solution. The episode closes with laughter, practical wisdom, and the acknowledgment that, in marriage (and guest lists), some battles are best left for the group to decide.

Transcript

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[D]

This is probably a situation that I have very little to add to because I know when it came to my wedding, I had like nine people on my side and Stacy had like 120 people on her side. But in the case here of Howard and of it's pretty split down the middle and it's kind of starting to cause a little friction between the two. They're gonna be married in September. And Howard, hey, how are you today?

[C]

Doing pretty well. How about yourself?

[D]

Karen, you there also?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Hey, how are you today?

[E]

Good.

[F]

How are you?

[D]

Good. Thank you for joining us for couples court.

[C]

Hey, no problem, man.

[D]

Even before we launch into the details here, let's just set the groundwork and say this that you guys have agreed that if we do a couples court with you. And you let the Burt show community kind of settle this for you. That the argument will be absolutely over after this, Right?

[C]

That's right.

[G]

Okay, Karen.

[A]

I agree.

[H]

All right.

[C]

I mean, you guys are gonna agree with me, So I have no problem with it at all.

[D]

Okay. All right. Why don't you give details out, Then we'll take it to the listeners. And however they vote, that's the way you go with your wedding.

[C]

Okay. This is what's going on. We're having a wedding and a reception. September. In the beginning of September. Karen wants to keep the list at 200. 200 for the wedding. And those 200 go over to the reception. But I've got such a big family between church that are driving down from Nashville. I've got fraternity brothers, friends, co workers. Everybody wants to come to this wedding. And I can't tell them no. I mean, these are people that have supported me my entire life and everything. So my side's gonna be well over the 100, probably 250, maybe 300 people coming down for this wedding. But obviously, we can't afford all those people plus her side for the reception. So what I say to do is to invite everybody to the wedding. But only invite 200 people to the reception. You know, either we take the other 200 people or the rest of the people to another party. Or, I don't know, just not tell them about it, I guess. I don't know.

[H]

Now, Karen, what is your idea? Like, how do you want to split the guest list?

[F]

Well, it's supposed to be 100 from my side and 100 from his side. And I figure our closest friends and family should be here with us. If it's somebody that you don't talk to at least once a month, Then they really don't need to be there.

[G]

I think a problem for guys. Because guys will consider somebody their best friend. Who they haven't spoken to in two years.

[D]

Well, that's the beauty about being a guy.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

Is that we can go months without talking to each other. And then I could call you and we'll pick up right where we left off. And we're best friends.

[G]

This was the problem when I planned my wedding, too. My husband wanted to invite people I had never heard of.

[F]

Exactly.

[G]

We have been dating for six years. If I have never heard the name before, they're not coming, and I'm not feeding them dinner, you know? So I think it does. Because your friendships are just so different than ours. Are.

[H]

Well.

[F]

And then I think that a big problem is. And I may even agree if everybody lived here in Atlanta, but I'm from Pittsburgh and he's from Nashville. So everybody has to travel. So we can't ask people to travel from another state and tell them to come to a half an hour wedding but don't come to the reception.

[D]

That's a really good point. That's a really good point right there.

[G]

Absolutely, Karen, you're right. There's no doubt in my mind that you're right. You guys have got to just narrow down that guest list. It's one of the hardest things to do when you do plan a wedding. But there's no. That would be tacky and absolutely rude to ask people to buy a plane ticket, buy a hotel room, and then you're not going to feed them or let them drink.

[C]

And there's no way I can tell these people that I've grown up with my entire lives and everything that they've been waiting for this day. They've been waiting and waiting and waiting.

[H]

Are you being dramatic?

[F]

No.

[E]

They've been waiting for this day. They really are.

[H]

Your friends from fifth grade have been waiting for Howard to get married.

[D]

Oh, give me that. Your dudes have been trying to talk you out of it for six months.

[C]

Well, you know, those are my frat brothers, but my people from home, my family, my church members, you know, they've been waiting for this day. And as soon as they heard that I had proposed and everything, even before I had a chance to tell them, I think it went up in the church announcements that morning and everything, you know, so everybody, they were already getting a busload of people ready and everything. So they're ready to come down, and they're probably going to come down regardless.

[G]

You know what you could do with the church people is you could have, like, a separate, like, fellowship reception after your wedding. Like, say you guys do your wedding, you. Your honeymoon, you come back, you go to church for the first time as a married couple, then ask everybody to stay afterwards for, like, a little thing in the parish hall or the fellowship hall or whatever, and visit with all the church people, then do.

[F]

That's a great idea.

[D]

He may not have to do that because virtual community may say, he's totally right here.

[C]

Exactly. I wish they will, but I want them to come down for the wedding, though. That's the thing. I want them to be here for the wedding.

[D]

All right, 404-741-1005. What we will do here, guys, is we'll take a couple of calls now, and then I'll play commercials. And during those commercials, we will have people vote on who's right here and who's wrong. And then when we come back, we'll find out exactly what you're gonna do for your wedding. Okay?

[C]

Sounds good.

[D]

Sound good? Hey, Amy. Good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[F]

Hey, guys. How are you?

[B]

Good.

[F]

I think that it's perfectly fine to invite people to just the wedding. And I think it's etiquette that's understood if you don't invite them to the reception, since you do have to pay per head. And I think that's perfectly fine etiquette.

[H]

So what you're saying is you. You agree with Howard that you think it's okay to invite everybody to the.

[F]

Wedding, Everybody to see you actually get married from your past and throughout your life. And I understand wanting everyone to see you do your vows, and then the reception is just for maybe close family and friends.

[H]

Well, let me. Let me ask you one more thing. Based on what Jen had said, you know, these people traveling, it's not like they live down the street. So these people are driving, you know, four hours from Nashville or flying in from Pittsburgh, and then they're not going to go to a reception. They're going to go to a 20 minute ceremony.

[F]

Right.

[E]

I think people that travel, you should.

[F]

Either help them fund their travel or. Or maybe you should invite them to the reception.

[H]

Well, that's the issue, everybody. I think that's coming down is, I mean, the majority. I'm just helping you understand, to make sure that you. You are committed to your decision because.

[D]

You can't sway the vote.

[H]

I'm not trying to sway the vote.

[D]

I just want it.

[G]

I know. I'.

[D]

Everybody's traveling.

[C]

She voted for me first.

[D]

Yeah, she did.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Can't sway the vote.

[H]

She just didn't understand.

[F]

Can I say something else?

[D]

You're not allowed to have a protester 100ft from the polling place.

[F]

Another problem is we can't even. A lot of these places won't hold more than 200 people. That we find. But he wants to find somewhere that can hold everybody, so that's even limiting my choice of where I'm gonna get married.

[B]

Why don't you just cut out all the Pittsburgh people? Because you're gonna cut them off eventually anyways. I live in Pittsburgh.

[G]

Who's paying for this wedding?

[C]

That would.

[D]

Oh, that changed things for you, Jen.

[A]

Hobby.

[E]

No, no, no.

[G]

Cause, I mean, being polite and being rude. I mean, you know, you can pick one or the other, but I just wondered if it was you guys paying for it together. I wondered if it was. You know, her.

[F]

I'll be helping.

[D]

Okay, Howard, how much is she helping?

[E]

Oh, about.

[C]

Well, she helps find the place and then she tells me what to deposit it.

[D]

Welcome to marriage. Hey, Miranda, you're on the Burt show and all the hits. Q100.

[F]

Hey, guys, how are you? Howard, I'm sorry, I don't agree with you. I'm actually an event planner and do. Majority of my events are weddings. And it is very tacky to invite people to the wedding and then not to the reception because you're asking them to buy a present. Most of these people are going to buy new clothes and they're going to come, and then you're basically saying, you can come and buy me a present, but I'm not going to thank you for that.

[E]

Oh, no, no.

[C]

We'll give them like a packet of bubbles or something, you know, to blow up or to blow at the wedding.

[D]

But other than that.

[C]

Yeah, thanks for driving down. These are the same people that came down when I graduated. They came down for, you know, a 30 minute ceremony and they didn't get invited to the. To the graduation dinner. They went back home.

[D]

So Birch show listeners have been calling now for like the last seven or eight minutes to cast their vote. And this is how couples court works. However you guys decide, the majority decides they should conclude this argument. That's it. We've agreed upon that. Right, Howard?

[C]

That's right.

[D]

Right, Karen?

[G]

That's right.

[D]

All right, before I give you guys the total, we have to make this dramatic, of course, because it is the Burt Show. Howard's mom is on the phone. Good morning, Howard's mom.

[B]

Hello.

[E]

Hello, hello.

[B]

Hello.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[C]

That really is my mom.

[G]

Yes.

[D]

Did you think we were going to make that up?

[C]

Yeah, I didn't know.

[D]

What's up, Mom?

[E]

This is Howard's mom.

[B]

Good morning.

[E]

Good morning.

[D]

How are you today?

[E]

We're doing fantastic.

[B]

Good.

[H]

How do you feel about all this?

[E]

I am so happy. I think they're going to make a beautiful couple. But I do think that they have to sit down and think about a lot of things because Howard, immediate family is almost 100 people.

[D]

Of course, you got to be.

[E]

I have a family of 12 children and 12 children plus their children, plus their children. So we have a pretty large family. And we do have a large church family that Howard has grown up with and has been really involved in life and in weddings here. And I think that they are all looking forward to it all. But I do know that Karen has a large family and we want them all there too. So we're gonna just have to work together and figure this thing out and say we're going to get them all there. But, you know, we're going to pray, we're going to get it there. And I think that they're going to have a fantastic wedding. I think Karen is going to be a beautiful, beautiful bride and my son is going to be a handsome groom. So everybody is waiting and they're excited and we can't wait until it happens.

[B]

Now, Howard's mom, let me ask you this. Have you had any indication before this point in their relationship that Karen was going to forsake the church?

[C]

And.

[B]

And two, have you noticed any, like, super bitchy tendencies and other things still people there?

[E]

I agree with you, Feller.

[D]

I didn't think she catch the second part of it. That's probably better than she did. So, Howard's mom, you agree with Howard that it would be cool to invite everybody down for the wedding, but as far as the reception goes, maybe not everybody would be invited to that.

[E]

Well, we have to work it out. If we. If they decide that that's what they're.

[C]

Going to do, that means yes.

[F]

Mom, you have to be on my side too here. Come on.

[E]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We have whatever we decide is going to be together because we do have a budget and we have to work on it. And we just might have to come back to Nashville and do some things too.

[A]

I agree.

[E]

So, you know, we look forward to it. What we can get there will be great. But then if we need to come back to Nashville and do some things, then we'll do that. And if we need to go to Pittsburgh and do some things, we'll do that.

[G]

Can all these people cook? I mean, this is a lot of people. There's gotta be some cooks in the chat. Can you get everybody behind the scenes, everybody can come.

[E]

I said if we cook, everyone can come and then we will be fine. But I'm not sure if that's what they want to do. I want them to plan together.

[C]

Well, if we get a cater for McDonald's, it should be good too.

[H]

Howard, that's your mama.

[D]

Now, Howard's mom, let me tell you this, because there are a lot of guys calling up saying that he's paying for it, so it should be his choice. Do you agree with that?

[E]

Well, I think feeling gotta be. This is her special day. And I want her happy is his special.

[D]

I think we lost.

[H]

Well, you know what? She's a great mom because she is supporting both her son and her new daughter.

[D]

Very diplomatic. Yeah, very diplomatic. All right, you guys. Howard, Karen.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

All right, you know how this works now. All right, the bird show for the last 10, 15 minutes, has been calling in and voting on what is the right thing to do. Okay. All right. Both have agreed the way that they vote is the way you're gonna end this.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Would you guys like to vote before we give the totals?

[E]

Oh, definitely.

[F]

Of course.

[B]

Okay. Howard, who are you voting for?

[C]

I think I'm gonna have to cast my vote for me.

[G]

Okay.

[F]

And Karen, I'm definitely on my side.

[H]

All right.

[D]

They're very, very selfish people. This is never gonna work.

[B]

Well, that brings Karen's total up to 337 votes.

[D]

337.

[B]

And that brings Howard's total up to 181.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I won.

[D]

Now the problem stops.

[B]

And you know what? She did exactly what you should do as a married couple when there's a fight that ends, put your hands in the air and scream, I won. That'll go a long way.

[D]

All right, so now you guys have some real planning to do here, because now it's been set. So now the list, I guess, is only at 200 people, correct?

[F]

That's right.

[G]

Thank you, Atlanta. And if this is how we're starting your marriage, you know, anything else that comes up, just call the Burke show.

[D]

We'll have people vote on it, and.

[G]

Then you'll go from there.

[H]

You should be able to work. I mean, as problems go, you'll be able to work this out.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[H]

And obviously, Howard, you've got a great mom, so very supportive mom, and, well. So. It'll be fine.

[G]

You've learned a very valuable lesson. She's the bride.

[D]

All right, you guys, good luck.

[E]

All right.

[C]

Thanks a lot.

[D]

Thanks a lot. Bye now.

[B]

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[G]

Santa.

[D]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[B]

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[C]

I'm not.

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Com.