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Burt
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Burt
In a situation like this, you only have one shot.
The Bird Show Announcer
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Burt
So there. Frank was going out this weekend. Said she was hot.
Co-host 1
He said she was banging. Banging.
Burt
This is how he was feeling driving over the restaurant. He's in the car and he's going over to the restaurant. He's getting all these feelings, he's nervous, and he's got one shot at this. If she's that good looking, you got one shot at him. Frank, when we talked to you on Friday, it seemed to us like you were going to be just fine, man.
Frank
I appreciate it. And boss, if you're listening, it's not my fault I'm late. Jeff Strong, Army.
Co-host 1
Sorry, boss.
Burt
So what happened on Friday or Saturday night?
Frank
I had a. I had an appointment reschedule and I didn't get home to like nine, so I rescheduled early in the day and I called her, said, hey, you know, we're going to have to do this at a later time. I'm sorry. She was really cool about it, you know, amicable, you know, everything's cool. Everything's cool. So I was like, well, I'll get back to you later on the week. We'll just do it sometime this week maybe. You know, we don't have to wait till Friday. Actually, she said that. She's like, you know, we don't have to wait till Friday. I was like, well, that's a good thing. All right. So I see her friend on the lake the other day and she's like, no one ever really cancels on her. And I was like, well, sorry. Work.
Co-host 2
It's a really good move. Great move on your part.
Co-host 1
It really was work.
Frank
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it really was.
Burt
Works out nicely that way.
Co-host 1
But it does work out nicely. That's a good move.
Burt
And she even acknowledged it. She even said, no one has ever done this. This is beautiful.
Co-host 1
Well, no, she didn't say it. Her friend.
Burt
Oh, her friend did.
Co-host 1
Her friend.
Frank
Which means they were talking about it.
Co-host 2
Yes, that's what I thought.
Burt
Perfect.
Co-host 1
Dude, you are lining this one.
Frank
I got blocked by work, but it wound up working.
Burt
Yes, I'm very, very happy for you.
Co-host 1
That's.
Frank
I mean, it's. Yeah, I think it'll be better in the end, I think.
Co-host 1
And I like the fact that she responded by saying, well, we don't even have to wait till Friday, you know,
Frank
So I didn't even really. Yeah, Yeah, I guess that is a good thing.
Co-host 1
When are you gonna take her out?
Frank
Sometime this week. She called me last night, but I was already asleep and didn't get it till this morning.
Co-host 1
So she called last night and you
Burt
couldn't answer and he didn't pick up. It's all lining up perfectly. Cause now she calls, he's not available.
Co-host 1
This is great.
Frank
Like Eminem at the shelter or wherever they were at in the bathroom. You guys were playing that song.
Co-host 2
Well, make sure you're listening at 8:45 as we talk to Jada Pinkett Smith about the secrets of a good marriage.
Frank
8:45. I can do that.
Co-host 2
All right, perfect. Because that's the next step. Clearly here. Cause she's definitely gonna want to marry
Burt
you now, I think no matter what, come hell or high water, you have to. If you make a dinner date with her on Wednesday night, you can't cancel that one. Because then.
Frank
No, no, no, no, no, not at all.
Co-host 2
And I feel strongly about that too, but I'm not gonna use an old man to indicate that. Make sure you don't take any wooden nickels on that date.
Frank
You got your six shooter.
Burt
All right, Frank, Good luck, man. You're fine.
Frank
All right. Stephen. You recognize my voice?
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Who?
Co-host 2
That friend.
Frank
He called me at like 8. He was like, hey, do you have a date tonight? And I was like, you really recognize my voice, didn't you?
Burt
Well, now you're a hero, dude. In your circle, you're a hero.
Frank
Yes.
Burt
Congratulations, man.
Frank
Later, guys.
Burt
Nice job.
Co-host 2
I was listening to the 5:30 club this morning. You might need an elder vention. Burt, you started out with get on the horn come hell or high water.
Burt
It's two old world old school phrases in the course of three hours. Don't fight it.
Co-host 1
Don't fight it, Bert. We just all become our parents.
Frank
Don't say that.
The Bird Show Announcer
The bird show.
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Date: April 8, 2026
In this vault episode, The Bert Show dives into the real-life dating escapades of listener Frank, using his story to unpack and analyze the subtle dating games people play. The relaxed, funny mood fits The Bert Show’s signature blend of authenticity and light-hearted banter. The conversation spotlights Frank's unexpected cancellation of a highly-anticipated first date, the reactions it sparked, and the implication of these little “power plays” in modern dating culture.
“If she’s that good looking, you got one shot at him, Frank.”
(02:25, Bert)
“It’s a really good move. Great move on your part.”
(03:51, Co-host 2)
“Which means they were talking about it.”
(04:08, Co-host 1)
“It’s all lining up perfectly. Cause now she calls, he’s not available.”
(04:45, Bert)
Frank modestly on his moves:
“I got blocked by work, but it wound up working.”
(04:14, Frank)
Co-host sees the big picture:
“I think it’ll be better in the end, I think.”
(04:22, Frank)
On following through:
“If you make a dinner date with her on Wednesday night, you can’t cancel that one. Because then...”
(05:11, Bert)
“It’s two old world old school phrases in the course of three hours. Don’t fight it.”
(06:05, Co-host 2)
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |---|---|---| | 02:25 | “If she’s that good looking, you got one shot at him, Frank.” | Bert | | 03:51 | “It’s a really good move. Great move on your part.” | Co-host 2 | | 04:08 | “Which means they were talking about it.” | Co-host 1 | | 04:45 | “It’s all lining up perfectly. Cause now she calls, he’s not available.” | Bert | | 04:14 | “I got blocked by work, but it wound up working.” | Frank | | 05:11 | “If you make a dinner date with her on Wednesday night, you can’t cancel that one. Because then...” | Bert | | 06:05 | “It’s two old world old school phrases in the course of three hours. Don’t fight it.” | Co-host 2 |
This episode of The Bert Show uses Frank’s dating story to shine a light on the subtle, sometimes accidental, games and power dynamics that play out in early-stage relationships. The hosts highlight how even genuine actions—like honest cancellations—can unintentionally make someone seem more desirable, prompting reflection and laughter about these unwritten rules of modern romance. The episode is rich with candid banter, playful analysis, and the show’s trademark warmth, making it both entertaining and insightful for anyone navigating the dating world.