Vault: This listener isn't happy with The Bert Show

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: This listener isn't happy with The Bert Show
Release Date: August 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show team is met with direct criticism from a long-time listener named Dawn. She calls in to express her frustration with the show's recent segment choices, particularly a discussion she felt was trivial and a waste of airtime. The hosts respond candidly, turning the critique into a humorous and, at times, sharp exchange. The episode offers a candid look at audience expectations, the team's desire to balance levity and seriousness, and the realities of producing live morning radio.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Complaint: "Wasting Airtime"

• [00:18–01:39]
  • Dawn, a locksmith and regular listener, calls to complain about a recent show segment focused on "parents calling in for things for their adult children."
  • She argues that, given the serious issues in the world, 30 minutes spent on such topics is "dumb" and could be better utilized.

2. Show Philosophy: Humor and Escapism

• [02:22–03:09]
  • Host responds by explaining the show's mission: "There are such serious things going on in the world and we sort of look like as this period right here is your break away from that. From time to time we'll get into the serious stuff, but sometimes we break away and do goofy stuff and it's what we've done for nine years here."
    – Bert (02:22)
  • The team sees value in providing light-hearted content as a form of escape.

3. Push for Constructive Criticism

• [01:33–02:13] & [03:53–04:10]
  • Hosts repeatedly ask Dawn for examples of more "important" or meaningful topics, but she is unable to provide any specifics, only reiterating her dissatisfaction.

4. Listeners Respond: Defending the Show

• [05:33–05:54]
  • Another listener calls in, defending the Bert Show’s variety in content:
    "Like, seriously, if I wanted that, I would be listening to something like CNN. I want the Bert show where it's funny and things go from all across the board...this is not CNN."
    – Listener call-in (05:37)

5. The Hosts Strike Back (with Humor)

• [05:13–07:26]
  • The hosts joke about "wasting airtime" on listener complaints, acknowledging the irony:
    "I think the irony here is that we're spending all that time on her and we're doing the same thing that she's upset that we did yesterday."
    – Bert (05:07)
  • The hosts riff about alternative listening options (even silence), poke fun at the seriousness of Dawn’s approach, and begin to banter about locksmiths, lightening the mood but also taking pointed jabs.
  • Memorable crowd-pleaser:
    "Silence is an option. That's the one channel that you'll always get. The reception on Silence is fantastic."
    – Bert (06:14)

6. Meta-Reflection and Fan Engagement

• [07:12–08:09]
  • Another listener, Ashley, chimes in expressing annoyance at the negativity and calls out the contradiction in giving the complaint more airtime.
  • The hosts wrap up by caricaturing Dawn's locksmith work in a tongue-in-cheek manner, highlighting the show's commitment to levity.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dawn's Critique
  "You guys really should take better advantage of the broadcasting time that you have to give messages or something a little more important than that."
  – Dawn, caller (00:46)

• Hosts' Philosophy
  "From time to time we'll get into the serious stuff, but sometimes we break away and do goofy stuff and it's what we've done for nine years here."
  – Bert (02:22)

• On Listening Options
  "Silence is an option. That's the one channel that you'll always get. The reception on Silence is fantastic."
  – Bert (06:14)

• Listener Defense
  "If I wanted that, I would be listening to something like CNN. I want the Bert Show where it's funny."
  – Listener call-in (05:38)

• Meta-Humor
  "I think the irony here is that we're spending all that time on her and we're doing the same thing that she's upset that we did yesterday."
  – Bert (05:07)

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Important Timestamps

• [00:18] – Dawn introduces her complaint
• [01:06] – Hosts clarify which segment she disliked
• [02:22] – Bert explains the show's purpose
• [03:13] – Dawn admits sometimes the show is funny; Chex Mix segment
• [05:07] – Bert reflects on the irony of the ongoing conversation
• [05:37] – Listener defends the show's variety against news-style programming
• [06:14] – Hosts riff on listening options like "silence"
• [07:12] – New listener calls, expresses annoyance at the complaint
• [08:09] – Hosts finish with light-hearted locksmith jokes

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Summary Flow & Tone

The episode exemplifies The Bert Show’s signature tone—authentic, irreverent, and quick-witted—even when handling criticism. Rather than deflect or dismiss, the team leans into Dawn's complaint, using humor to diffuse tension and re-establish the show’s core philosophy: delivering a blend of entertainment, levity, and realness as a respite from the world’s pressures. Listener interactions—both critical and supportive—underscore that the show actively engages with its audience, even when facing tough love.

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Transcript

[A]

Listen, it's the Burt show.

[B]

Before we even start the show today, though, got a Burt show listener not happy with some of our content.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Not today's show because we just started, but yesterday, I think. Good morning, Q100.

[C]

Good morning. How are you doing? Fantastic.

[B]

Good. How are you?

[C]

Pretty good, thanks.

[B]

Your name is Dawn?

[C]

Yes, it is.

[B]

All right, dawn, what do you want to unload on us?

[C]

Well, it's just, you know, I've listened to you since about, you know, five o' clock this morning, and, you know, with all the things that we have in our world today, it's just a. Unfortunately, it's about the only station that would pick up on the vehicle that I'm in today. And to have to listen for 30 to 35 minutes about parents who call in for things for their adult children.

[D]

Right.

[C]

You guys really should take better advantage of the broadcasting time that you have to give messages or something a little more important than that. I mean, like she was saying, that is dumb. But it's dumb for, you know, people of Atlanta to have to listen to that for 30 minutes.

[B]

Okay, first of all, I have no. What was the break? Wait a sec. What's. What's the break that you're talking about?

[A]

It was the conversation we had yesterday about the parents who call in sick for their kids and then how that

[C]

is having their parents grade their papers. And you don't really know what lifestyle these people have to where they would need their parents help for certain things. It's just. It just seems like, you know, 30 minutes of airtime that could have been used for a lot more important issues or even topics for that matter.

[A]

Can you give us some.

[C]

My opinion, that is just dumb.

[A]

Can you give us some examples of what you would consider content that's not

[D]

dumb or why you're in such a

[C]

bad mood at 502 Music, you know, since you're on the air, you know, with the music station.

[A]

Yeah, we don't. We don't. We don't play music in the morning. So.

[C]

Are you.

[B]

Are you a new. Are you a new listener?

[C]

I play some songs, I guess, when people request them. But no, it was just annoying. And I thought, you know, to, you know, I'm a LOCKSMITH. I work 24 7. I have to listen to the radio quite a lot just to keep me awake and trying to keep myself awake. Having to listen to that conversation was. You guys have a great radio station. I just think you could know a lot better than you did this morning.

[B]

Hey, Don, let's have a Conversation here for a second. Okay. Are you a, are you a new listener to the Burke show?

[C]

Actually no, I listen to it quite often.

[B]

Okay, well your first statement was there are more important things in the world to talk about. Some of the reason why we spend 10 minutes on a conversation like that because a 10 minute conversation on something like that is because there are such serious things that are going on in the world and we sort of look like as this period right here is your break away from that. From time to time we'll get into the serious stuff, but sometimes we break away and we do goofy stuff and it's what we've done for nine years here. And if you don't like it, you got 40 other rate, you got iPods and 40 other radio stations, like new stations.

[C]

I'm in a work vehicle this morning and it seemed to be the only station that would pick up in the location that I'm at. And it's just, I just had to, you know, get my opinion out there because it gets annoying sometimes.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Sometimes we take calls like this and it's annoying for us too, but we try to be patient about it.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

And we try to work our way

[C]

through all of the other callers that you've had call in this morning. I mean, great topic at five o' clock in the morning. I thought it was funny. We're talking 10 more minutes about Chex Mix. I thought that was hysterical. That was just icing on the cake for me.

[D]

Honey, I'm sorry. Whatever's going on that makes you mad at 5:52 in the morning.

[C]

But it's not us, you guys, like I said, you do have a great show. There's just.

[A]

No, we don't.

[C]

For 45 minutes.

[B]

Someone peed in your Chex Mix this morning. The Chex Mix conversation that we had yesterday I thought was so funny. I mean it wasn't, it wasn't like a planned thing that we were going to talk about. But like I said, the serious thing, things going on in the world, are you.

[D]

Human nature stuff, you know, we all related to that.

[C]

Serious things. I'm just saying there's a lot of other topics, you know.

[A]

Okay, but we've asked you several times.

[C]

It was just, wow. Give us an example of a good topic.

[B]

Yeah, what do you want us to talk about today? And we'll get it in somehow.

[D]

Give us an example.

[C]

Other than what you are talking specific? No.

[B]

So anything other than what we were talking about.

[C]

You said, you know, something to keep it light, something in the mornings you know,

[D]

and then what?

[A]

She's criticizing you guys. Listen to the energy that you guys are getting all worked up.

[D]

You know what? It's annoying for me for. It is, I have to say, pet peeve of this job is people to. To like, I don't understand why she's so critical and complaining for the past.

[A]

Yeah, we're not telling you how to show. We're not telling you how to install a lock.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Nobody's walking around saying, well, being critical about someone who they have calling their doctor's appointment.

[A]

I mean, but then give us something

[C]

that you want us to talk about a really dumb thing. Just like she said, she thinks that's dumb. Well, I think it's dumb to waste air time when we could be making people laugh or tell them an interesting, you know, an inspiring story for the day. Other than, you know, who cares if these parents have, you know, their adult children have their parents.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think the irony here is that we're spending all that time on her and we're doing the same thing that she's upset that we did yesterday.

[A]

Dawn needs to call another locksmith to reach up her arse and pull the lock that's jammed up there out.

[B]

Good morning.

[A]

You guys need to talk about something a little lighter than Chex mix

[B]

latte. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[C]

Good morning.

[A]

Good morning.

[B]

How are you today?

[C]

I'm good. I just want to say, like, what does she expect? This is not cnn.

[D]

Right?

[C]

Like, seriously, if I wanted that, I would be listening to something like cnn. I want the Bart show where it's funny and things go from all across the board.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

They do big bunch, big adventure, so they go from serious to funny. Like, this is not cnn.

[A]

Why are we even spending. Like, this woman is driving around on her work. Yeah, but this woman's driving around in her work van and she's listening and it's stuck. I can't listen to anything else but you guys. And for whatever reason, like, I'm sorry that someone called you at 5am to go let you in their house. Like, you know what? It's.

[B]

And you got other options. You know what? It's another option. If you're in a car and the only thing you can get is us. Silence is an option. That's the one channel that you'll always get.

[A]

Great.

[B]

The reception on Silence is fantastic.

[D]

And sing to yourself.

[A]

You can always.

[C]

Compact disc.

[D]

I think that she would probably be singing things like Amazing Grace or like Kumbaya

[C]

kind of girl.

[D]

Really Happy songs.

[A]

She also has the option of going back to school and getting her ged so she doesn't have to be a locksmith. No, now you guys are. Now you're mean.

[D]

There's a lot of happy locksmiths out there.

[A]

I'm sure there's probably a locksmith called the Happy locksmith, and there's a whistling smiley face on his van.

[D]

I'm not gonna criticize locksmith because we need locksmiths.

[B]

Yeah, we've all called a locksmith when you need one. Yeah, you want a happy one?

[D]

That's when I'm the happiest, is when the locksmith gets van. Right.

[B]

Hey, Ashley. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[C]

Hey, I was just saying, you know, are we done talking to her? A, she's putting me in a bad mood, and I'm sure everybody else. B, she's the one who's saying, oh, you're wasting airtime. So why are we wasting airtime on her?

[A]

She was fun.

[C]

You know, she's just putting everybody in a bad mood, and she won't let you guys talk.

[A]

You know what'll put you in a better mood? Think about the person who called her this morning. Like, think about the person who is locked outside of their car and needs to get to work. And she pulls up and she's like, oh, look at you, you freaking idiot. Your cars are. Your keys are right there in the ignition, and the car's not open. Looks like you're in a jam, you moron. Well, let me get my tools and bilk you for 175 freaking dollars that you're probably gonna pay me in a check so I can lay you in your car and you can drive to your job where you talk about nonsense stuff. Are you glad you called me?

[B]

Now I'm annoyed.

[D]

Yeah. Imagine if person has the keys locked in the car and their. Their radio is up with Q100. That would be

[C]

rid of that shot.

[A]

This is the Bird show.