Vault: This listener STILL didn't listen to our advice!

Summary

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The Bert Show - Vault: This Listener STILL Didn't Listen To Our Advice!

Air Date: May 6, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around a listener, Terry, who repeatedly seeks—and then ignores—the show’s advice on how to handle her budding relationship with a guy who is possibly coming into town for the weekend. The hosts and co-hosts offer insight, humor, and some tough love as Terry describes the lengths she went to trying to get a response from this guy. The episode is a candid, funny, and sometimes cringeworthy exploration of dating dynamics, self-control in communication, and the perils of being too eager.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap of Terry’s Situation (01:30–02:25)

• Background: Terry is a recurring caller who struggles to play it “cool” in her pursuits with a guy.
• Host Recap: The Bert Show previously advised her not to instant message the guy unless checking with them first, after seeing that she tends to overreach.
• Purpose: The hosts frame themselves as Terry’s “instant message sponsors.”

2. Terry’s Weekend Actions (02:25–07:32)

• Terry Did Not See Him: She didn't meet up, but could not resist reaching out multiple times.
• First Message: Sent an IM Friday morning: “Are you coming to Atlanta this weekend?”—no response.
• Follow-up Actions:
  • Sent an email with the same question late Friday night/Saturday morning—no response.
  • Sent a Facebook friend request with the same message after not getting replies. He accepted the friend request, but didn’t reply to the message.
• Self-Justification: Terry assumed technology, not his lack of interest, may be the reason for no response.

> Notable Exchange

• Host (Burt) [03:53]: “This is a little bit of that whole ‘women have no game’ thing that intern Michelle was talking about. … If you had true mojo, wouldn’t have mattered. You would have had plans.”
• Jen [04:52]: “Yeah, you’re not quite getting this.”

3. Intervention by The Bert Show (07:32–10:21)

• Intervention: After not hearing back, Terry instant messaged him again to ask if he got her messages—again, no response.
• Hosts’ Reaction: The hosts remind her that repeating the same action, expecting different results, is futile.
• Jen [08:09]: “You’ve communicated, now, four different times and in different ways. … That’s the definition of insanity, right?”
• Terry’s Defense: Terry struggles to understand why he wouldn’t respond, insisting, “I can’t think of a reason that he wouldn’t just … IM me back.”

4. Listener Reactions & Tough Love (09:05–15:32)

• AJ (Caller) [09:08]: “Y’all just really need to get this chick off the air. She’s just absolutely ridiculous. … If she’s gonna waste all of our time, then she at least needs to follow the rules.”
• Joanna (Caller) [14:05]: “The more uninterested he thinks you are, the more he’s going to want you. I promise you that. Most guys try to go for the unavailable girl.”
• Jen [15:10]: “Whatever he’s doing, … it’s not working to contact him this often.”
• Heather (Host) [15:32]: “Are you physically able to travel to Birmingham this weekend?” (Jokingly suggesting road-tripping as the next escalation.)

> Memorable Analogy

• Host (Burt) [17:02]: “You know, from time to time, somebody comes into the emergency room at Grey’s Anatomy … the patient dies. There’s always one doctor that keeps pounding on the chest … This patient is gone. … Your instant message friend—dead now.”

5. The Final Advice & Wrap-up (15:23–18:04)

• Clear Verdict: The hosts implore Terry to stop contacting him in any form.
  • “Under no circumstances should you be the next person to send any kind of email or instant message or a text. Nothing. It is over at this point.” — Host (Burt), [15:23]
• Joking Continuation: Various tongue-in-cheek suggestions are floated (stand outside with a sign, go to Birmingham), highlighting the pointlessness and overstepping.
• Final Metaphor: Burt reemphasizes with the Grey’s Anatomy metaphor, urging her to “let the patient go.”
• Terry’s Reluctance: Despite all advice, she is still not convinced, hinting she might reach out again.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host (Burt) [04:10]: “You would have had plans. He comes into town, maybe you see him, maybe he doesn’t, and he picks up on that mojo.”
• Jen [08:09]: “That’s the definition of insanity, right? To keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and get the same result but expect something different...”
• AJ (Caller) [13:10]: “It’s done. She’s ruined probably any chance that she has with this guy.”
• Joanna (Caller) [14:05]: “Most guys try to go for the unavailable girl. So you have to act unavailable, … stop trying to get in his head.”
• Host (Burt) [17:02]: “Your instant message friend—dead now.”
• Jen [17:51]: “At this point … But now we’re talking lawsuits and restraining orders, so I just wouldn’t do it at all.”

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Highlight | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:30 | Recap: Terry’s 'instant message sponsor' arrangement | | 02:25 | Terry describes her first IM | | 03:53 | “Women have no game”—host’s take on playing it cool | | 06:55 | Terry confesses to Facebook message and friend request | | 07:32 | Three unanswered messages in 24 hours—hosts’ exasperation | | 08:09 | Jen’s “definition of insanity” speech | | 09:05 | Callers join to give blunt advice | | 14:05 | Joanna explains the “unavailable girl” appeal | | 17:02 | Burt's Grey’s Anatomy comparison: "the patient is dead" | | 17:51 | Hosts reiterate: do not contact; joke about restraining orders |

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Tone & Style

• Candid: Unfiltered discussion and organic caller dialogue.
• Humorous: Frequent jokes and analogies to lighten Terry’s predicament.
• Supportive but Firm: The hosts genuinely want to help Terry but don’t sugarcoat their advice or the reality of the situation.
• Relatable: Discussion reflects the universal, sometimes painful, experience of early dating missteps.

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Summary

This episode delivers a classic Bert Show combination of laughs, empathy, and hard truths as the team tries—unsuccessfully—to save Terry from her own over-enthusiasm. With multiple check-ins, spirited debate, and plenty of laughter, listeners are reminded that sometimes the hardest advice to swallow is not to act. The show’s candid style and real-time feedback, both from the crew and listeners, reinforce the ultimate message: sometimes, less is more…and when he doesn’t respond, it’s time to let it go.

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For listeners who missed it:
This is a must-listen episode for anyone who's ever agonized over texting etiquette or needed a lesson in self-restraint. The Bert Show’s advice? Sometimes, silence really is golden.

Transcript

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[Host (Burt)]

You're on the Burt Show. Terry is the Birch show listener that called us twice last week and was. She's about to choke on this thing.

[Jen]

Well, she's just over eager to get together with this guy. And we were trying to teach her just to be a little bit more cool, like chill a little bit.

[Host (Burt)]

But she had very strict guidelines not to instant message him without us.

[John (Caller)]

I know.

[Host (Burt)]

Because she proved to us that she could not handle it.

[Jen]

Yeah, but the difference in sunshine.

[Wendy]

Yeah, but the difference. This weekend he was coming into town, so it was in, you know, we weren't here. So I'm curious how she handled that because he was right in her backyard.

[Host (Burt)]

We were her instant message sponsors.

[Wendy]

Yes.

[Host (Burt)]

If she felt the need, she should have called us. Hey, Terry. Good morning.

[Terry (Caller)]

Hi.

[Jen]

Hi.

[Host (Burt)]

What did you do? What did you do?

[Jen]

How'd it go?

[Terry (Caller)]

I think I'm not sure yet.

[Wendy]

Oh, no.

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah. I didn't see him this weekend.

[Host (Burt)]

You did or did not?

[Terry (Caller)]

I did not.

[Heather]

So you're not. So you had Zero contact with him. That's beautiful. Then everything's the same as it was.

[Terry (Caller)]

Well, the thing is, on, like, on Friday, since I didn't know if he was coming or not, I. I sent. I sent him an instant message because I hadn't heard from him, and I just kind of sent him, like, at the same. You know, I sort of, like, waited that morning thinking, you know, before work, he would. I mean, I am. Then finally, because I was like, I need to make plan. Like, I. You know, I need to, like, know.

[Heather]

So you sent him an instant message on Friday morning?

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah, so I sent him one that. It was like, are you coming to Atlanta this weekend?

[Host (Burt)]

Oh, no.

[Wendy]

Okay, so we got off the phone with you. What about this time on Friday? So what time on Friday?

[Heather]

Did you know we talked to her Thursday?

[Wendy]

Oh, we didn't talk to her on Friday.

[Heather]

No, but Friday we were all here, weren't we?

[Wendy]

Yeah. So what's happening?

[Heather]

They're all available.

[Terry (Caller)]

I didn't call because I kind of thought so. I kind of thought you told me not to. I am them, so that.

[Wendy]

Yeah, well, of course that's what we said.

[Host (Burt)]

Or if you would have twisted our arm and convinced us to have you instant message him first, it would have been something vastly different than what you. You wrote.

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah, I mean, I just felt like I needed to know if he was coming, you know?

[Jen]

So tell us what you wrote.

[Terry (Caller)]

You know, what's the harm?

[Host (Burt)]

What did you. So your first line was, are you

[John (Caller)]

coming to Atlanta this weekend?

[Host (Burt)]

See, even your. Let's stop here for just one second, because this is a little bit of that whole women have no game thing that intern Michelle was talking about last week. You stopped your weekend. You stopped your weekend just on the hope that this guy was coming to Atlanta or not. If you had true mojo, wouldn't have mattered.

[Wendy]

Right?

[Host (Burt)]

You would have had plans. He comes into town, maybe you see him, maybe he doesn't, and he picks up on that mojo. But your first message to him is, are you coming to Atlanta? Which is sending up a flag to him like, oh, she's all excited. I'm coming.

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

The whole thing is you let him chase you, and you just refuse to do that. Because when we got. We got off the phone with you on Thursday, you had hinted to him, well, I might be going to the Alabama, Tennessee game in Tuscaloosa, he's coming to Atlanta. We'll just see what happens. And you were supposed to wait on him to contact you.

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah, but, I mean, I guess I kind of thought like, well, maybe he, you know, like, got really busy or like, maybe he didn't think I was, you know, maybe didn't think I was like, that into him.

[Host (Burt)]

Because that's where you want him.

[Wendy]

That's where you want him now.

[Host (Burt)]

Exactly where you want him.

[Jen]

Yeah, you're not quite getting this.

[Host (Burt)]

Anyway. Go on, Jen. You want to take it from here?

[Jen]

Well, I just wanted to. Once you ask him that question, did he respond at all?

[Terry (Caller)]

No.

[Jen]

Zero response?

[Terry (Caller)]

Well, yeah, no, he didn't say anything.

[Jen]

And was he. Could you tell if he was online?

[Terry (Caller)]

He was in the morning, you know, when we were like. I was like, you know, usual time, and he didn't respond. And then I kind of figured, well, maybe he just went, you know, to work and, you know, time. And since, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm on my computer all day pretty much I just, you know, like, stayed signed in and he like, like, you know, he was like, on, like, briefly at various times. Like, never for very long. So I, you know, I kind of figured, like. Well, then I thought, like, maybe he somehow, like, didn't get it or whatever. Like, maybe he like, like running out the door and like, you know, he went, like, to work and, you know, then, you know, it wasn't open up. You know, he had a different computer there. And. And so, like, finally around like 1:00am or for, I guess, Saturday morning, like, really late Friday night, I sent him an email that said the same thing. It was like, are you coming to Atlanta this weekend?

[Jen]

Really?

[Terry (Caller)]

Okay.

[Jen]

And did he respond to that?

[Terry (Caller)]

No.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Terry (Caller)]

And then?

[Host (Burt)]

No. Please tell me there's not an and then.

[Terry (Caller)]

Well, no, I mean, I was worried, like, maybe, I don't know, like, you know, like, technology can, like, be weird and stuff, so.

[Jen]

No, no, no, no, no, it can't be. No, no, no, no.

[Wendy]

So what did you do?

[Heather]

I drove to his house.

[Terry (Caller)]

Well, no, no, no, I didn't drive that stupid Dr. I just, like, I was just like, you know. You know, I don't know. Like, I thought maybe you didn't get it. So my friend and I were. We found him on Facebook.

[Host (Burt)]

Oh, no, dude.

[Wendy]

And then what you do?

[Terry (Caller)]

Well, you know, I sent a friend request and then, you know, I, like, added a little message to my request and said, you know, the same thing I said, are you coming to Atlanta this weekend?

[Host (Burt)]

So this is three now with no correspondence back, no interaction back. This is your third time asking him if he's coming to Atlanta within 24 hours. Right.

[Wendy]

Did he accept your friend request?

[Terry (Caller)]

He did accept my request.

[Host (Burt)]

Okay.

[Terry (Caller)]

Okay. But he didn't. He didn't say anything about my message.

[Jen]

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Terry (Caller)]

And then I didn't hear from him all weekend, and then so I just. I am Tim. And said, did you get my messages over the weekend?

[Heather]

You said that today fail.

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Heather]

Why didn't you call us?

[Host (Burt)]

This was, like, a couple of minutes ago.

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Host (Burt)]

And you haven't heard anything back?

[Terry (Caller)]

No. And he's. He's signed on. But then, I mean, I don't know, like, maybe I had a friend. Like, her computer was.

[Heather]

It doesn't matter.

[Jen]

Flatline. Yeah. I mean, I just think that, like,

[Heather]

under the ice for too long.

[Jen]

Sister, I understand your excitement and your anxiousness to hear from him and all that kind of stuff, but see, what that's gotten you is, like, you've communicated. Now reach out to him three or four. Four in four different times and in different ways, and you're not getting the response that you want. So, like, that's the definition of insanity, right? To keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and get the same result but expect something different. You know what I mean? Like, you can't.

[Terry (Caller)]

I don't understand why he wouldn't just, like, write, like. You know, I feel like if he got the message, there's, like, no reason. He wouldn't write back and say, like, no, I'm not going to Atlanta. That's why I thought that, you know, I thought that maybe he didn't get it, because I can't think of a reason that he wouldn't just, you know, I me back and be like, oh, I'm actually not going to Atlanta.

[Host (Burt)]

Hold on here. Here come our listeners calling to embrace you and tell you it's gonna be okay.

[Heather]

I know.

[Wendy]

They're not Bird show listeners.

[Host (Burt)]

Hey, aj. Go ahead.

[Terry (Caller)]

Good morning.

[AJ (Caller)]

Y' all just really need to get this chick off the air. She's just absolutely ridiculous. I mean, if she's gonna. If she's gonna call and she's gonna waste all of our time, then she at least needs to follow the.

[Jen]

Follow the rules.

[Heather]

We were all here on Friday morning ready to help.

[Host (Burt)]

So, Terry, if you read between the lines there with aj, she said everything's gonna be okay. Yeah.

[Terry (Caller)]

I just feel like. I feel like the thing is that, like, I don't know that, like, waiting is the best thing, because it's like, where has it gotten people? Anywhere either. Like, I don't understand what's so wrong with being like, oh, I like. Like, you, like, really obvious. You Know, like, you know, not playing games.

[Joanna]

Well.

[Jen]

Cause it's kind of at the beginning. I mean, certainly at the beginning when you're dating or whatever, it's just. It's just making yourself a hotter commodity. You know, once you're in a relationship, that's a whole different story. Like, you're not still playing games at that point. You're not, you know what I'm saying? You're being like open and honest and you're in a relationship. But at the very beginning, if you're too available, there's nothing exciting about that. And that goes for men too. Like, I mean, I think there's something exciting about this sort of back and forth that has to happen at the very beginning when you like somebody continuing

[Host (Burt)]

to build our nest of comfort and support, here is John. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[John (Caller)]

How you doing?

[Host (Burt)]

All right. How are you?

[John (Caller)]

I'm all right. I just wanted to say that she done pretty much messed that up. And the only way that she could probably establish that is she has to come up with some type of wild and crazy part of that. She was so twisted about getting him into it. It was so wild and crazy and so fun and she just. He just had to be there. That's all she could possibly say.

[Host (Burt)]

That's actually a good idea is what

[Jen]

his idea is actually a really good idea. If he does I am her or reach out to her. Like, if the fact that she was so quote unquote desperate to get in touch with him was to invite him to this thing, like, oh, dude, you missed the biggest best.

[Wendy]

Whatever.

[Heather]

What about with a bunch of USC alumni or something?

[Jen]

Something like she was trying to reach

[Host (Burt)]

out because she was excited to invite him to.

[Jen]

She decided to invite him to something that she did.

[Wendy]

But isn't the key that what you just said was when he IMs you back? Yeah, because I'm afraid that she's going to go ahead and she's probably typing right now.

[Jen]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Host (Burt)]

You somehow if. I mean, we have to predict. We have to predict for the future here. And if he does by some fluke instant message her back, she has to instantly win hand back in the relationship. And how do you do that?

[Jen]

No, but I think, I think his idea. Yeah, I think his idea, like saying like, oh, you totally missed something great. That's why I was trying to get in touch with you.

[Host (Burt)]

Because he's going to think she was just instant messaging him because she was eager to see him where now she has to turn it around saying Look, I was only. I was excited to have you part of this very unique thing, and you missed it.

[Jen]

Yeah, that's actually really great advice, and it comes from a dude.

[Terry (Caller)]

See?

[Wendy]

You think it'll work? Really?

[Host (Burt)]

You think you can pull that off?

[Jen]

If he reaches out?

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah. I'm just nervous that he's not gonna.

[Heather]

Can she do that right now? Can she type to him?

[Host (Burt)]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Heather]

Why do you guys treat me like I'm a criminal every time I have a suggestion in this matter, like, don't

[Wendy]

hit me because you're sabotaging her?

[Heather]

I'm asking a question.

[Host (Burt)]

There's a tone here that you have to understand that we don't think that you're understanding yet. You've got this. This tone of desperation again. So if you get nothing out of this, get this is that you sort of have to make the dude chase you.

[Wendy]

You're too eager.

[Terry (Caller)]

But maybe, like, he would think that it's not desperate, but just that, like, I don't want to play games, you know, that I'm sort of maybe, like. Maybe, like there is there, like, a world where he thinks, you know, oh, she's not, like, that's kind of cool. Like, she's not beating around the bush or whatever.

[Host (Burt)]

If you're gonna air. Err on the side of being fake.

[Wendy]

Well, the thing is, he. If he thought that, he would have responded. He didn't respond.

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah, I don't know why you would seem desperate.

[Wendy]

Because you seem desperate.

[Host (Burt)]

Hey, Heather. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[AJ (Caller)]

Good morning. I start out by saying I do feel bad for her.

[Terry (Caller)]

However.

[AJ (Caller)]

She's. It's done. She's. She's ruined probably any chance that she has this guy. And is she in her early twenties? Is she young?

[Jen]

I think so.

[Host (Burt)]

Terry, you're in your early 20s.

[Terry (Caller)]

We're assuming I'm 23.

[Host (Burt)]

23.

[AJ (Caller)]

I mean, we all know that. That feeling of, oh, I got it. I got to know.

[Terry (Caller)]

I got to know.

[Jen]

I got to know.

[AJ (Caller)]

I got to know. We've all been at that spot at some point, but there you just have to learn that you have to let him come to you because you have burned the bridge. He is. No, he's not going to respond now. I mean, because you've called him or you got. Tried to get in touch with him, what, four times?

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah. And nothing.

[Heather]

Details.

[AJ (Caller)]

That's it. He's. He's. He's turned the other way where he initiated the. The contact with you, then you have to Continue to let him initiate the contact with you until you reeled him in.

[Host (Burt)]

Joanna, you're closer to her age. Can you teach her a little bit about mojo here?

[Joanna]

Well, I think the issue is that she keeps thinking, oh, he's going to think I'm not interested. Oh, I want him to know that I'm interested. But the thing is, you have to understand is the more uninterested he thinks you are, the more he's going to want you. I promise. I promise you that. Most guys try to go for the unavailable girl. So you have to act unavailable and stop trying to get in his head and analyze what he's thinking or what he is gonna say and just play the game. I know in a perfect world, oh, why can't we play? You have to. So you have to get that out of your head.

[Wendy]

And don't forget he was in town for his ex girlfriend's wedding. Not that he necessarily was going, but his parents were invited. So I mean, I don't know, I just feel like.

[Heather]

And that was a maybe.

[Wendy]

Yeah, maybe. But if he was in town, he was busy with all the parents and.

[Heather]

But he may not have even been like, my thought is, you send him that message and the answer is no. He's like, yeah, I changed my mind, I'll catch up with my parents, you know, Christmas or whatever. And then he just, he's like, no. So why would he respond? He's just go. He's out all weekend. He's probably out with buddies in Alabama. He's hanging out, doing his thing.

[Jen]

Well, whatever he's doing, he doesn't, he's. It's not working to contact him this often.

[Terry (Caller)]

Can you think that, like you don't think I should send him a message now?

[Host (Burt)]

Under no circumstances should you be the next person to send any kind of email or instant message or a text. Nothing. It is over at this point.

[Heather]

Let me ask you a question. Are you physically able to travel to Birmingham this weekend?

[Jen]

Oh, no. Jeff, why did you play the seat?

[Terry (Caller)]

I guess I could.

[Heather]

Okay, so I mean, Ivan, what is the drive? I haven't.

[Wendy]

Is it couple hours?

[Host (Burt)]

Two sabotage.

[Heather]

Two hours. I would say give it this week and check back with us on Friday. And I think. And Jen and Wendy, if she's back, will help you write a note. But I think a hand delivered like note.

[Wendy]

What about newspaper clippings? Can't as well just clip the words in the newspaper.

[Host (Burt)]

I think just being silly here.

[Terry (Caller)]

I don't think it's crazy. Like I really don't think it's like,

[Heather]

right, it's time for you just to tell him you love him, like him.

[Host (Burt)]

Why wait till the weekend? Why can't she just leave right now and make a poster and stand outside of his door and just have it ready to go?

[Heather]

He's working, Bert. You want him to have time to spend with her?

[Host (Burt)]

Are you coming to Atlanta? Is what the poster board should say. She could be outside of a store.

[Terry (Caller)]

I don't think at this point, I feel like what I do.

[Heather]

Bert's jacking with you.

[Terry (Caller)]

I mean, like, kind of. Okay. You know, I just kind of think it's just like, wow, let's do this. Kind of not being nice if he's not, like, willing to, like, be upset.

[Heather]

Okay, let's do this again this weekend. You get in touch with us on Friday, and we will. And I think you should plan on going to Birmingham.

[Host (Burt)]

Don't do it.

[Jen]

No pause. Oh, my gosh. She's not like. I just don't feel like you're hearing us at all.

[Host (Burt)]

Yeah, Terry, we're have to leave. Just know this. Like, have you ever watched Grey's Anatomy?

[Terry (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Host (Burt)]

You know, from time to time, somebody comes into the emergency room at Grey's Anatomy, and all the doctors are working on the person, and. And the patient dies. And there's always one doctor that keeps pounding on the chest over and over and over again when the other doctors are like, dude, it's done. It's over. This patient is gone. There's nothing we can do. There's nothing you can do. Your patient is dead. Your instant message friend, dead now.

[Heather]

Yeah, Terry, there are people in this room who struggle with love every day, and they're taking it out on you. Call us back Friday, okay, Terry?

[Host (Burt)]

Now, if he does instant message you while we're on, feel free to give us a call because we want to live it through you again. But I don't think you're gonna get anything from this guy. And under no circumstance should you text him or email him or instant message him. Okay?

[Terry (Caller)]

Okay.

[AJ (Caller)]

Okay.

[Jen]

At this point, it almost.

[Wendy]

Fingers crossed.

[Host (Burt)]

It really doesn't matter. You're so psycho right now. But now we're talking lawsuits and restraining orders, so I just wouldn't do it at all.

[Heather]

Talk to you Friday.

[Host (Burt)]

Okay, Dr. Gray. He's dead.

[Terry (Caller)]

Okay.

[Host (Burt)]

All right. Bye. Bye. The bird show.

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