
Loading summary
Bus Driver
I drive my bus in a busy city. That's why road safety is so important to me. I know that I must slow down and be extra careful when I make a wide turn. Buses need more room than cars. Everyone can help keep our roads safe. Next time you're driving, remember to give buses plenty of time and space to finish turning before driving ahead. Let's all plan to share the road safely. Learn how at www.sharetherodesafely.gov.
RealReal Advertiser
so you're running out of closet space. The good news? You don't need to stop shopping. You just need to start selling with the RealReal. The RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. Whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone or those boots you never fully broke in, the RealReal handles everything from photography and copywriting to shipping and pricing. So you can just sit back, get paid, and make room for things that actually feel like you. And with 10,000 plus new arrivals every single day from top designers like Prof. Celine, Louis Vuitton, and Louisville offer up to 90% off retail, you're bound to find something perfectly on brand to fill that extra closet space with. Plus, this may only you can get an extra $200 to shop when you sell for the first time. Make room for what feels like you go to therealrail.com to start selling and get your extra $200 to keep shopping@therealrail.com that's therealrail.com terms apply.
Host (Burt)
You're on the Burt Show. Terry is the Birch show listener that called us twice last week and was. She's about to choke on this thing.
Jen
Well, she's just over eager to get together with this guy. And we were trying to teach her just to be a little bit more cool, like chill a little bit.
Host (Burt)
But she had very strict guidelines not to instant message him without us.
John (Caller)
I know.
Host (Burt)
Because she proved to us that she could not handle it.
Jen
Yeah, but the difference in sunshine.
Wendy
Yeah, but the difference. This weekend he was coming into town, so it was in, you know, we weren't here. So I'm curious how she handled that because he was right in her backyard.
Host (Burt)
We were her instant message sponsors.
Wendy
Yes.
Host (Burt)
If she felt the need, she should have called us. Hey, Terry. Good morning.
Terry (Caller)
Hi.
Jen
Hi.
Host (Burt)
What did you do? What did you do?
Jen
How'd it go?
Terry (Caller)
I think I'm not sure yet.
Wendy
Oh, no.
Terry (Caller)
Yeah. I didn't see him this weekend.
Host (Burt)
You did or did not?
Terry (Caller)
I did not.
Heather
So you're not. So you had Zero contact with him. That's beautiful. Then everything's the same as it was.
Terry (Caller)
Well, the thing is, on, like, on Friday, since I didn't know if he was coming or not, I. I sent. I sent him an instant message because I hadn't heard from him, and I just kind of sent him, like, at the same. You know, I sort of, like, waited that morning thinking, you know, before work, he would. I mean, I am. Then finally, because I was like, I need to make plan. Like, I. You know, I need to, like, know.
Heather
So you sent him an instant message on Friday morning?
Terry (Caller)
Yeah, so I sent him one that. It was like, are you coming to Atlanta this weekend?
Host (Burt)
Oh, no.
Wendy
Okay, so we got off the phone with you. What about this time on Friday? So what time on Friday?
Heather
Did you know we talked to her Thursday?
Wendy
Oh, we didn't talk to her on Friday.
Heather
No, but Friday we were all here, weren't we?
Wendy
Yeah. So what's happening?
Heather
They're all available.
Terry (Caller)
I didn't call because I kind of thought so. I kind of thought you told me not to. I am them, so that.
Wendy
Yeah, well, of course that's what we said.
Host (Burt)
Or if you would have twisted our arm and convinced us to have you instant message him first, it would have been something vastly different than what you. You wrote.
Terry (Caller)
Yeah, I mean, I just felt like I needed to know if he was coming, you know?
Jen
So tell us what you wrote.
Terry (Caller)
You know, what's the harm?
Host (Burt)
What did you. So your first line was, are you
John (Caller)
coming to Atlanta this weekend?
Host (Burt)
See, even your. Let's stop here for just one second, because this is a little bit of that whole women have no game thing that intern Michelle was talking about last week. You stopped your weekend. You stopped your weekend just on the hope that this guy was coming to Atlanta or not. If you had true mojo, wouldn't have mattered.
Wendy
Right?
Host (Burt)
You would have had plans. He comes into town, maybe you see him, maybe he doesn't, and he picks up on that mojo. But your first message to him is, are you coming to Atlanta? Which is sending up a flag to him like, oh, she's all excited. I'm coming.
Terry (Caller)
Yeah.
Wendy
The whole thing is you let him chase you, and you just refuse to do that. Because when we got. We got off the phone with you on Thursday, you had hinted to him, well, I might be going to the Alabama, Tennessee game in Tuscaloosa, he's coming to Atlanta. We'll just see what happens. And you were supposed to wait on him to contact you.
Terry (Caller)
Yeah, but, I mean, I guess I kind of thought like, well, maybe he, you know, like, got really busy or like, maybe he didn't think I was, you know, maybe didn't think I was like, that into him.
Host (Burt)
Because that's where you want him.
Wendy
That's where you want him now.
Host (Burt)
Exactly where you want him.
Jen
Yeah, you're not quite getting this.
Host (Burt)
Anyway. Go on, Jen. You want to take it from here?
Jen
Well, I just wanted to. Once you ask him that question, did he respond at all?
Terry (Caller)
No.
Jen
Zero response?
Terry (Caller)
Well, yeah, no, he didn't say anything.
Jen
And was he. Could you tell if he was online?
Terry (Caller)
He was in the morning, you know, when we were like. I was like, you know, usual time, and he didn't respond. And then I kind of figured, well, maybe he just went, you know, to work and, you know, time. And since, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm on my computer all day pretty much I just, you know, like, stayed signed in and he like, like, you know, he was like, on, like, briefly at various times. Like, never for very long. So I, you know, I kind of figured, like. Well, then I thought, like, maybe he somehow, like, didn't get it or whatever. Like, maybe he like, like running out the door and like, you know, he went, like, to work and, you know, then, you know, it wasn't open up. You know, he had a different computer there. And. And so, like, finally around like 1:00am or for, I guess, Saturday morning, like, really late Friday night, I sent him an email that said the same thing. It was like, are you coming to Atlanta this weekend?
Jen
Really?
Terry (Caller)
Okay.
Jen
And did he respond to that?
Terry (Caller)
No.
Jen
Okay.
Terry (Caller)
And then?
Host (Burt)
No. Please tell me there's not an and then.
Terry (Caller)
Well, no, I mean, I was worried, like, maybe, I don't know, like, you know, like, technology can, like, be weird and stuff, so.
Jen
No, no, no, no, no, it can't be. No, no, no, no.
Wendy
So what did you do?
Heather
I drove to his house.
Terry (Caller)
Well, no, no, no, I didn't drive that stupid Dr. I just, like, I was just like, you know. You know, I don't know. Like, I thought maybe you didn't get it. So my friend and I were. We found him on Facebook.
Host (Burt)
Oh, no, dude.
Wendy
And then what you do?
Terry (Caller)
Well, you know, I sent a friend request and then, you know, I, like, added a little message to my request and said, you know, the same thing I said, are you coming to Atlanta this weekend?
Host (Burt)
So this is three now with no correspondence back, no interaction back. This is your third time asking him if he's coming to Atlanta within 24 hours. Right.
Wendy
Did he accept your friend request?
Terry (Caller)
He did accept my request.
Host (Burt)
Okay.
Terry (Caller)
Okay. But he didn't. He didn't say anything about my message.
Jen
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
Terry (Caller)
And then I didn't hear from him all weekend, and then so I just. I am Tim. And said, did you get my messages over the weekend?
Heather
You said that today fail.
Terry (Caller)
Yeah.
Heather
Why didn't you call us?
Host (Burt)
This was, like, a couple of minutes ago.
Terry (Caller)
Yeah.
Host (Burt)
And you haven't heard anything back?
Terry (Caller)
No. And he's. He's signed on. But then, I mean, I don't know, like, maybe I had a friend. Like, her computer was.
Heather
It doesn't matter.
Jen
Flatline. Yeah. I mean, I just think that, like,
Heather
under the ice for too long.
Jen
Sister, I understand your excitement and your anxiousness to hear from him and all that kind of stuff, but see, what that's gotten you is, like, you've communicated. Now reach out to him three or four. Four in four different times and in different ways, and you're not getting the response that you want. So, like, that's the definition of insanity, right? To keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and get the same result but expect something different. You know what I mean? Like, you can't.
Terry (Caller)
I don't understand why he wouldn't just, like, write, like. You know, I feel like if he got the message, there's, like, no reason. He wouldn't write back and say, like, no, I'm not going to Atlanta. That's why I thought that, you know, I thought that maybe he didn't get it, because I can't think of a reason that he wouldn't just, you know, I me back and be like, oh, I'm actually not going to Atlanta.
Host (Burt)
Hold on here. Here come our listeners calling to embrace you and tell you it's gonna be okay.
Heather
I know.
Wendy
They're not Bird show listeners.
Host (Burt)
Hey, aj. Go ahead.
Terry (Caller)
Good morning.
AJ (Caller)
Y' all just really need to get this chick off the air. She's just absolutely ridiculous. I mean, if she's gonna. If she's gonna call and she's gonna waste all of our time, then she at least needs to follow the.
Jen
Follow the rules.
Heather
We were all here on Friday morning ready to help.
Host (Burt)
So, Terry, if you read between the lines there with aj, she said everything's gonna be okay. Yeah.
Terry (Caller)
I just feel like. I feel like the thing is that, like, I don't know that, like, waiting is the best thing, because it's like, where has it gotten people? Anywhere either. Like, I don't understand what's so wrong with being like, oh, I like. Like, you, like, really obvious. You Know, like, you know, not playing games.
Joanna
Well.
Jen
Cause it's kind of at the beginning. I mean, certainly at the beginning when you're dating or whatever, it's just. It's just making yourself a hotter commodity. You know, once you're in a relationship, that's a whole different story. Like, you're not still playing games at that point. You're not, you know what I'm saying? You're being like open and honest and you're in a relationship. But at the very beginning, if you're too available, there's nothing exciting about that. And that goes for men too. Like, I mean, I think there's something exciting about this sort of back and forth that has to happen at the very beginning when you like somebody continuing
Host (Burt)
to build our nest of comfort and support, here is John. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
John (Caller)
How you doing?
Host (Burt)
All right. How are you?
John (Caller)
I'm all right. I just wanted to say that she done pretty much messed that up. And the only way that she could probably establish that is she has to come up with some type of wild and crazy part of that. She was so twisted about getting him into it. It was so wild and crazy and so fun and she just. He just had to be there. That's all she could possibly say.
Host (Burt)
That's actually a good idea is what
Jen
his idea is actually a really good idea. If he does I am her or reach out to her. Like, if the fact that she was so quote unquote desperate to get in touch with him was to invite him to this thing, like, oh, dude, you missed the biggest best.
Wendy
Whatever.
Heather
What about with a bunch of USC alumni or something?
Jen
Something like she was trying to reach
Host (Burt)
out because she was excited to invite him to.
Jen
She decided to invite him to something that she did.
Wendy
But isn't the key that what you just said was when he IMs you back? Yeah, because I'm afraid that she's going to go ahead and she's probably typing right now.
Jen
No, no, no, no, no.
Host (Burt)
You somehow if. I mean, we have to predict. We have to predict for the future here. And if he does by some fluke instant message her back, she has to instantly win hand back in the relationship. And how do you do that?
Jen
No, but I think, I think his idea. Yeah, I think his idea, like saying like, oh, you totally missed something great. That's why I was trying to get in touch with you.
Host (Burt)
Because he's going to think she was just instant messaging him because she was eager to see him where now she has to turn it around saying Look, I was only. I was excited to have you part of this very unique thing, and you missed it.
Jen
Yeah, that's actually really great advice, and it comes from a dude.
Terry (Caller)
See?
Wendy
You think it'll work? Really?
Host (Burt)
You think you can pull that off?
Jen
If he reaches out?
Terry (Caller)
Yeah. I'm just nervous that he's not gonna.
Heather
Can she do that right now? Can she type to him?
Host (Burt)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Heather
Why do you guys treat me like I'm a criminal every time I have a suggestion in this matter, like, don't
Wendy
hit me because you're sabotaging her?
Heather
I'm asking a question.
Host (Burt)
There's a tone here that you have to understand that we don't think that you're understanding yet. You've got this. This tone of desperation again. So if you get nothing out of this, get this is that you sort of have to make the dude chase you.
Wendy
You're too eager.
Terry (Caller)
But maybe, like, he would think that it's not desperate, but just that, like, I don't want to play games, you know, that I'm sort of maybe, like. Maybe, like there is there, like, a world where he thinks, you know, oh, she's not, like, that's kind of cool. Like, she's not beating around the bush or whatever.
Host (Burt)
If you're gonna air. Err on the side of being fake.
Wendy
Well, the thing is, he. If he thought that, he would have responded. He didn't respond.
Terry (Caller)
Yeah, I don't know why you would seem desperate.
Wendy
Because you seem desperate.
Host (Burt)
Hey, Heather. Good morning. You're on Q100.
AJ (Caller)
Good morning. I start out by saying I do feel bad for her.
Terry (Caller)
However.
AJ (Caller)
She's. It's done. She's. She's ruined probably any chance that she has this guy. And is she in her early twenties? Is she young?
Jen
I think so.
Host (Burt)
Terry, you're in your early 20s.
Terry (Caller)
We're assuming I'm 23.
Host (Burt)
23.
AJ (Caller)
I mean, we all know that. That feeling of, oh, I got it. I got to know.
Terry (Caller)
I got to know.
Jen
I got to know.
AJ (Caller)
I got to know. We've all been at that spot at some point, but there you just have to learn that you have to let him come to you because you have burned the bridge. He is. No, he's not going to respond now. I mean, because you've called him or you got. Tried to get in touch with him, what, four times?
Host (Burt)
Yeah. And nothing.
Heather
Details.
AJ (Caller)
That's it. He's. He's. He's turned the other way where he initiated the. The contact with you, then you have to Continue to let him initiate the contact with you until you reeled him in.
Host (Burt)
Joanna, you're closer to her age. Can you teach her a little bit about mojo here?
Joanna
Well, I think the issue is that she keeps thinking, oh, he's going to think I'm not interested. Oh, I want him to know that I'm interested. But the thing is, you have to understand is the more uninterested he thinks you are, the more he's going to want you. I promise. I promise you that. Most guys try to go for the unavailable girl. So you have to act unavailable and stop trying to get in his head and analyze what he's thinking or what he is gonna say and just play the game. I know in a perfect world, oh, why can't we play? You have to. So you have to get that out of your head.
Wendy
And don't forget he was in town for his ex girlfriend's wedding. Not that he necessarily was going, but his parents were invited. So I mean, I don't know, I just feel like.
Heather
And that was a maybe.
Wendy
Yeah, maybe. But if he was in town, he was busy with all the parents and.
Heather
But he may not have even been like, my thought is, you send him that message and the answer is no. He's like, yeah, I changed my mind, I'll catch up with my parents, you know, Christmas or whatever. And then he just, he's like, no. So why would he respond? He's just go. He's out all weekend. He's probably out with buddies in Alabama. He's hanging out, doing his thing.
Jen
Well, whatever he's doing, he doesn't, he's. It's not working to contact him this often.
Terry (Caller)
Can you think that, like you don't think I should send him a message now?
Host (Burt)
Under no circumstances should you be the next person to send any kind of email or instant message or a text. Nothing. It is over at this point.
Heather
Let me ask you a question. Are you physically able to travel to Birmingham this weekend?
Jen
Oh, no. Jeff, why did you play the seat?
Terry (Caller)
I guess I could.
Heather
Okay, so I mean, Ivan, what is the drive? I haven't.
Wendy
Is it couple hours?
Host (Burt)
Two sabotage.
Heather
Two hours. I would say give it this week and check back with us on Friday. And I think. And Jen and Wendy, if she's back, will help you write a note. But I think a hand delivered like note.
Wendy
What about newspaper clippings? Can't as well just clip the words in the newspaper.
Host (Burt)
I think just being silly here.
Terry (Caller)
I don't think it's crazy. Like I really don't think it's like,
Heather
right, it's time for you just to tell him you love him, like him.
Host (Burt)
Why wait till the weekend? Why can't she just leave right now and make a poster and stand outside of his door and just have it ready to go?
Heather
He's working, Bert. You want him to have time to spend with her?
Host (Burt)
Are you coming to Atlanta? Is what the poster board should say. She could be outside of a store.
Terry (Caller)
I don't think at this point, I feel like what I do.
Heather
Bert's jacking with you.
Terry (Caller)
I mean, like, kind of. Okay. You know, I just kind of think it's just like, wow, let's do this. Kind of not being nice if he's not, like, willing to, like, be upset.
Heather
Okay, let's do this again this weekend. You get in touch with us on Friday, and we will. And I think you should plan on going to Birmingham.
Host (Burt)
Don't do it.
Jen
No pause. Oh, my gosh. She's not like. I just don't feel like you're hearing us at all.
Host (Burt)
Yeah, Terry, we're have to leave. Just know this. Like, have you ever watched Grey's Anatomy?
Terry (Caller)
Yeah.
Host (Burt)
You know, from time to time, somebody comes into the emergency room at Grey's Anatomy, and all the doctors are working on the person, and. And the patient dies. And there's always one doctor that keeps pounding on the chest over and over and over again when the other doctors are like, dude, it's done. It's over. This patient is gone. There's nothing we can do. There's nothing you can do. Your patient is dead. Your instant message friend, dead now.
Heather
Yeah, Terry, there are people in this room who struggle with love every day, and they're taking it out on you. Call us back Friday, okay, Terry?
Host (Burt)
Now, if he does instant message you while we're on, feel free to give us a call because we want to live it through you again. But I don't think you're gonna get anything from this guy. And under no circumstance should you text him or email him or instant message him. Okay?
Terry (Caller)
Okay.
AJ (Caller)
Okay.
Jen
At this point, it almost.
Wendy
Fingers crossed.
Host (Burt)
It really doesn't matter. You're so psycho right now. But now we're talking lawsuits and restraining orders, so I just wouldn't do it at all.
Heather
Talk to you Friday.
Host (Burt)
Okay, Dr. Gray. He's dead.
Terry (Caller)
Okay.
Host (Burt)
All right. Bye. Bye. The bird show.
VRBO Advertiser
Get a jump on next summer with vrbo's early booking deals. Don't wait to claim your dream summer spot, whether that includes a good porch swing or a poolside lounger. When you book early you get the best places at the best prices. But back to poolside loungers with vrbo. You don't have to reserve any loungers, they're all yours. In fact, the whole private home is yours. Book with early booking deals and you can lounge around all summer long however you please. Book with VRBox.
Air Date: May 6, 2026
This episode revolves around a listener, Terry, who repeatedly seeks—and then ignores—the show’s advice on how to handle her budding relationship with a guy who is possibly coming into town for the weekend. The hosts and co-hosts offer insight, humor, and some tough love as Terry describes the lengths she went to trying to get a response from this guy. The episode is a candid, funny, and sometimes cringeworthy exploration of dating dynamics, self-control in communication, and the perils of being too eager.
| Timestamp | Segment/Highlight | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:30 | Recap: Terry’s 'instant message sponsor' arrangement | | 02:25 | Terry describes her first IM | | 03:53 | “Women have no game”—host’s take on playing it cool | | 06:55 | Terry confesses to Facebook message and friend request | | 07:32 | Three unanswered messages in 24 hours—hosts’ exasperation | | 08:09 | Jen’s “definition of insanity” speech | | 09:05 | Callers join to give blunt advice | | 14:05 | Joanna explains the “unavailable girl” appeal | | 17:02 | Burt's Grey’s Anatomy comparison: "the patient is dead" | | 17:51 | Hosts reiterate: do not contact; joke about restraining orders |
This episode delivers a classic Bert Show combination of laughs, empathy, and hard truths as the team tries—unsuccessfully—to save Terry from her own over-enthusiasm. With multiple check-ins, spirited debate, and plenty of laughter, listeners are reminded that sometimes the hardest advice to swallow is not to act. The show’s candid style and real-time feedback, both from the crew and listeners, reinforce the ultimate message: sometimes, less is more…and when he doesn’t respond, it’s time to let it go.
For listeners who missed it:
This is a must-listen episode for anyone who's ever agonized over texting etiquette or needed a lesson in self-restraint. The Bert Show’s advice? Sometimes, silence really is golden.