Vault: This stepmom is worried about her kid

Summary

The Bert Show Vault: This Stepmom is Worried About Her Kid

Episode Date: June 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show revisits the emotional story of Tina, a stepmom deeply concerned about her 11-year-old stepdaughter’s abrupt change in behavior, poor school performance, and dishonesty. The episode follows Tina’s struggle with implementing a drastic parental consequence—canceling Christmas—as well as her commitment to investigating the root cause of her stepdaughter’s difficulties. The hosts offer support and advice, and the update reveals what Tina discovered after seeking professional help and looking deeper into her stepdaughter’s life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tina’s Dilemma: Canceling Christmas (01:07)

• Tina, the stepmother, explains her predicament:
  • Her 11-year-old stepdaughter, previously a strong student, suddenly starts performing poorly and lying.
  • Tina and her husband consider canceling Christmas as a consequence, with Tina tasked with enforcing the decision.
  • The family has two younger children (16 months old), so the fallout from canceling Christmas primarily impacts the 11-year-old.
    Quote:

  "Our oldest child is 11 and hasn't been performing well at school and has been lying to us...so it would be the mom decision to cancel Christmas." – Tina (01:07)

2. The Challenge of Being a Stepmom (02:00)

• Tina voices her challenges as a stepmother, including the willingness to be disliked if it means doing the right thing for her stepdaughter’s future.
  Quote:

  "I am the stepmother and it's okay with me if she hates me. If it means that she's gonna grow up to be a successful, happy, healthy child, then I'm okay with that." – Tina (02:00)

• She recounts the emotional impact:
  • The stepdaughter is devastated by the punishment.
  • Tina suspects the issues go deeper than schoolwork.

3. Speculating on Underlying Causes (02:23 - 03:05)

• The Bert Show team and listeners express concern about such a sudden, dramatic change in behavior.
• Co-hosts suggest potential outside issues, such as possible abuse or trauma, without making direct accusations.
• Emphasis on seeking counseling and third-party help, recognizing that at age 11 such dramatic shifts are uncommon without a root cause.
  Quote:

  "It seemed like there had to be some sort of outside cause for such a drastic change in behavior...we were just suggesting maybe get her into counseling..." – Co-host (02:37)

4. Tina’s Update: Investigation & Resolution (03:06)

• Tina is unable to join live, but sends an email update:
  • The family followed the Bert Show’s advice, investigating possible causes (including abuse, substance use, fear).
  • Nothing alarming was found; third-party professionals and the child herself insist there is no harm or abuse.
  • The stepdaughter confesses to just having an “attitude problem” and feeling “crappy right now.”
• Tina expresses relief, gratitude, and the importance of persistent parental vigilance.
  Quote:

  "[She] finally yelled at us and said, ‘No one is hurting me or trying to hurt me, and if someone was to ever try, I know you would protect me, so I would tell you first...I just have an attitude problem.'" – Tina (via email, 03:06)

• Tina thanks the show and listeners for their advice and reiterates the value of proactive parenting.

5. Hosts Reflect on the Situation (04:34)

• The team reacts with relief that no abuse or trauma was found, though express lingering disbelief at such a sudden change being “just attitude.”
• Recognition of Tina’s commitment to engaging third-party help for her child, reinforcing support for seeking outside perspectives when children struggle.
  Quote:

  "Well, I'm glad she sought third party help though. I mean that's great on her part, trying to protect her stepdaughter..." – Co-host (04:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being the disciplinary stepparent:

  "It's okay with me if she hates me. If it means that she's gonna grow up to be successful, happy, and healthy." – Tina (02:00)

• Addressing parental gut instinct:

  "There can't be too many guardian angels watching over a child. And there's no reason to ever avoid going further into investigating your child's safety and health." – Tina (email, 03:06)

• Hosts' relief:

  "Well, I'm glad she sought third-party help though. I mean that's great on her part..." – Co-host (04:35)

• On being perplexed by the outcome:

  "That's good news. But it's surprising to me. It's like I almost don't want to still believe it." – Co-host (04:50)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:07] – Tina explains her reasoning for considering canceling Christmas.
• [02:00] – Tina discusses the burden of being a stepmother in a disciplinary role.
• [02:37] – Co-hosts speculate outward causes and advocate for seeking help.
• [03:06] – Tina’s email update detailing the investigation and outcome.
• [04:34] – Host reactions and wrap-up of the story.

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Summary & Takeaways

This episode highlights the real-world complexities of blended families and parenting through challenging adolescent behavior. The Bert Show community rallies with empathy, offering support and practical advice for navigating sudden changes in a child’s demeanor. The episode ultimately affirms the necessity of thorough, compassionate investigation when a child is struggling—and the importance of not shying away from “overreacting” when safety and wellbeing are at stake.

The hosts maintain an understanding, reassuring tone while blending real talk with empathy and humor. Listeners are left with a reminder about the importance of advocating for children's safety, trusting parental instincts, and how sometimes what appears to be a dramatic, mysterious shift is, at least occasionally, “just attitude.”

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For more discussions or to participate in future episodes, visit www.thebertshow.com

Transcript

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[Commercial Announcer]

You're on the Burt Show.

[Host]

We have talked to Tina twice. This was the first time we talked to her.

[Tina (Stepmother)]

Our oldest child is 11 and hasn't been performing well at school and has been lying to us and is actually potentially going to fail. And so we are using it as a threat. But. And you know, her dad and I discussed and of course it'll be me the one who actually has to pull the trigger on it. So it would be the mom decision to cancel Christmas. Fortunately, our other two children are small enough that they won't really know because they're only 16 months old.

[Host]

All right. So we called her to try to get an update on exactly if she was. I mean, that's a pretty serious threat, definitely.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, her daughter, her stepdaughter had been through a drastic change, right? It was only a couple of months before she was showing this kind of behavior.

[Host]

She was getting good grades, and then all of a sudden, everything goes south. So we talked to her right before Christmas to see if she was really serious about doing this right? And this is what she told us.

[Tina (Stepmother)]

I was very frustrated because I am the stepmother and it's okay with me if she hates me. If it means that she's gonna grow up to be a successful, happy, healthy child, then I'm okay with that. We took back her Christmas and told her that we expected to see immediate change. And she got very, very upset that night. Just.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Just save that.

[Tina (Stepmother)]

I don't believe it's just a grade Thing I do believe there's. Yeah, I mean, obviously something deeper.

[Host]

So after we talked to her, a whole bunch of you guys called up, and I think Jen even said, something's going on here. You. You didn't say the word abuse, but you were thinking something was going on?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, it seemed like there had to be some sort of outside cause for such a drastic change in behavior so quickly. And we were just, you know, we were just suggesting maybe get her into counseling, get her to, you know, talk to somebody that she feels comfortable talking to. Because it just seems so out of character for this young girl to completely change and so young. I mean, she's only 11. Like, if she were, like, 14 or 15 and just being an obnoxious teenager, then I don't know. That kind of comes with being 14 and 15, but it doesn't come with being 11.

[Host]

No.

[Co-host/Commentator]

You know.

[Host]

Well, here's the update that we got from Tina, and she couldn't come on with us, but she sent us this email, and it says, I'm so sorry, Tracy, but I'm out of state for work for the next few weeks. I can share that we did take the Burt show advice and began looking for possible causes to my stepdaughter's sudden change in attit. The end result was we were not able to find any abuse or fear that was causing the sudden lack of interest. And there's no evidence of drug and. Or alcohol use. Our daughter, who felt very uncomfortable with all of our investigating, which we did not care about, finally yelled at us and said, no one is hurting me or trying to hurt me, and if someone was to ever try, I know you would protect me, so I would tell you first. And I swear I'm not doing drugs. And she says, I just have an attitude problem. An email can. Yeah, she even said it. I'm just. Yeah, I'm just kind of crappy right now. An email can properly display all of the emotions involved, but all parties, including third parties, that were checking on this, are convinced that she is telling the truth and are actually relieved that we are only dealing with an attitude problem. Thank you all so much for your suggestion and concern. There can't be too many guardian angels watching over a child. And there's no reason to ever avoid going further into investigating your child's safety and health. At least they will know for all the years ahead that you're willing to go as far as it takes to protect them from themselves and others. God bless you all and have a great new year.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Wow.

Well, I'm glad she saw it. Third party help though. I mean that's great on her part trying to protect her stepdaughter and the

[Host]

third party sounds like she either hired an investigator or something like that. But the update is they didn't find anything at all. So it's just a crappy attitude from an 11 year old.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I mean that's good news. But that's surprising to me. It's like I almost don't want to still believe it.

[Host]

I don't know why. You got yeah, yeah. So she believes it and the investigators believe it. So there's your update for all you guys that were emailing, Listen, it's the vert show.

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