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C
Listen, it's the Vert Show.
A
Excuse me.
C
Tim Allen joins us this morning to talk about his directorial debut and his new movie. I wonder if he's sick of hearing that home improvement theme everywhere he goes.
D
Oh, if I could crawl through this phone, I would show you how sick I am.
C
Is it really? Are you just over it?
D
No, not over at all. Because I have so many great friends because of it. I have fans. It's still fan bases and websites and my family still sees it. My kid up until about age 15, that's all. The only show she watched. She had a computer and I wouldn't put a TV in her bedroom. Don't ask me why? But we just didn't do that. And she didn't. And she watched Home Improvement, Fruit and Friends and I really preferred she watched Friends. I said, you got it. She knew the episodes better than I. She goes, this is the one where you and Al did this, or you and Wilson said, you got to stop this kid.
C
I have to tell you that I watch. I stumbled across, I don't know, like a behind the scenes E. Entertainment, you know, one of those. We're gonna go back in time and go over every step of the.
D
The True Hollywood Story.
C
I cried like a baby when y' all were on stage saying goodbye. I don't know what, what it was for me or whatever, but I just, I.
D
He cried like Tebow.
C
Yes. Hey, I caught it.
D
It was literally both. Both episodes. When we redid that one and with the last episode we did it. It was the. It was the hardest 30 minutes I've ever had because every time I get out in Tool Time because I loved, I loved and I put it in huge quotes. I loved doing that show. I loved that crew, the place, my parking spot at Disney, the commissary. Everything about that life I loved. And that last time when I said, I was gonna say, you know, does everyone know what time it is? And Debbie came downstairs every time I walked out, I get in there and I get this groundswell of tears. And I'm really not that. And man, it was tough. That was a tough night.
C
I bet it was an eight year run, which, I mean, in sitcom television, life is a.
D
It's an eternity.
C
That's huge.
D
Well, it was huge. And I said, thanks for bringing my mood to a dead halt. I'm going to slow down for a little bit.
C
Tell us about the 10 City Comedy Tour.
B
What's your stand up like?
D
Well, I'm going to do a big concert tour. I've been wanting to go back on the road. I go to local comedy clubs in Los Angeles and pine a little bit, some of it, a little bit. Because I really had a great run as a stand up, culminating really in selling my act to do Home Improvement, which is mostly my act. And at the same time, correspondingly, I finished directing a movie called Crazy on the Outside, as we'll talk about with Sigourney Weaver, Ray Liotta and J.K. simmons, Gene Trippelhorn, just a great cast. And I started watching the test screenings we did with the studio did here in Los Angeles. I said, God, this is fun watching people watch this movie. And. And it occurred to me that this is What a way to introduce it two weeks before we premiere it right after holidays January 8th. But what a great way to get some buzz going or not and have people take a look at it and then give me a chance to come out and premiere both the movie and showcase a little bit of the comedy that I'll be doing next year. So I'm going to do about 20 minutes of comedy up front and you get to watch the movie right after that.
C
That's a lot of pressure too. If you sit down in the audience and watch the people react. Like if they're reacting great to your comedy, but then the movie comes and it's really silent or vice versa. Like you just can't make them laugh. But they think the movie's huge. Like you're kind of in a twisted emotional spot because they're both.
D
You were babies, to be totally frank with you. The studio, after I decided to do this for 10 cities and you know, get some excitement going and we all agreed, I, I really don't stay around. I'm there to show you the movie. We'll start it off and then it's a little intimidating both for both the director, actor p and me and the audience to have me sitting in the back because generally I'm a bad. I'm a bad movie audience guy anyway. Because I'd be back there going, hey, pal, sit down. You can't take a pee right now, right?
C
This is the best part.
D
Sit down, sit down. Oh, believe me, I am the world's worst guy to see movies with because I pick up. I didn't like that the Hulk's pants didn't explode along with him. Yeah, the Hulk, he grew up and he got real big. How come his pants didn't burst?
C
Well, they did, but only the calves because anything more than that was.
D
Well, no. Why did the crotchet? I saw it with a whole bunch of kids from the ymca. I took a bunch of my nephews and I said, that's fake. And I would just stood. I actually stood up and said, why? You know, making a joke. And all of the kids at once said, hey, Santa, sit down and shut up.
C
Hey, is the Wikipedia entry for you would tell us that your first entry into comedy was a dare. Is that accurate?
D
That's very accurate. I worked at a kind of a high end sporting goods store called the Sportsman in Michigan and you know, selling Orvis fishing rods and North Face packs. And this one guy kept coming in who worked at a blueprint place and both of us real funny and at one Point. We were just killing each other. I was putting on, you know, Orvis gear and making jokes downstairs at the Sporting Good place. And he said, you're pretty funny. You should go to that open mic night. I'm not sure if the punchline there in Atlanta ever did it for local comics. I bet you they do have. I can't remember because I worked there so many times.
C
There's so many. Yeah, the punchline. A lot of local comics have come through.
D
Well, that's where I started this place called the Comedy Castle in Detroit. And I just wanted. The guy said, you're so funny. You think you're so funny. Why don't you go to that comedy night? And I go, no, that's for punks. Or, you know, whatever you say when you're scared. And eventually, he almost did. And almost exactly like, what are you scared? Oh, man, don't call me scared.
C
Outside of Home Improvement, what project that you do would have you recognized the most?
D
Well, it's peculiar because Buzz Lightyear definitely. If I'm walking around, people get that voice. But there's nothing like Home Improvement. It's still on the. Nickelodeon still plays it all the time. So I get people. And I don't mean to make fun because, you know, somebody doesn't know. I get people thinking it's still on number one. I said, do you think I still. That that guy that I played like an early. Looks like my younger brother? You know, I'm definitely an older guy now. And I sported a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet in some of those where I thought I was very fashionable.
C
The Buzz Lightyear voice thing has to trip kids out. If you're just, you know, walking through the mall or, you know, and you talk to.
D
Oh, I'm in an elevator in New York City, and this kid's kind of acting up. And I said, go on, Woody. One day, you and Andy will be a bunch of friends sitting around a fire, eating a couple of schmoes. And then the kid goes. He went into some sort of catatonic seizure. He thought that I had eaten Buzz Lightyear. No way. Why is that voice coming out of that ugly man?
C
That ugly man whose younger brother is on the home improvement show I watch on Nickelodeon. Yeah, yeah, the Home Improvement guys. Big Brother 8, Buzz Lightyear.
D
8, Buzz Lightyear. Quick, run. Sweet, everyone.
C
So I was on the fence about asking you this question. Cause you're talking to the Burt show in Atlanta. And the Burt part of the Burt show is not here. He's home.
D
He's out Sick today. He's out sick today.
C
He's homesick.
D
That's what. I had no idea.
C
Oh, now you're gone, right?
D
I had no idea. I will see you people later.
C
So I know cause I just traded text message. He's sound asleep and it's phone's off. If we dialed his number. He has a son who is seven years old and is obviously a huge Buzz Lightyear fan. His son's name is Hayden. Would you be able to leave Hayden a voicemail? That Burt. I mean, it'll make Burt's world. It'll make Hayden's world as Buzz Lightyear.
D
Yeah.
C
Would you leave him a voicemail?
D
Disney will bill you at the end of the day for about $11,000, but certainly I will do it.
C
Well, you can, you know, send it. I gotta be honest with you, I'm worried about what Bert's ring back.
D
Is Hayden, right?
C
Yes, Hayden is a son.
D
Please enjoy the music while your party is reached.
C
Sorry about this, Buzz.
D
Hi, this is Bert. Thanks a lot for calling my mobile phone, but I'm not around right now to take your call, so go ahead and leave a message and leave your phone number, even if you think I have it. And I'll give you a call back as soon as I can. Thanks a lot for calling. Bye bye. Your message will be transcribed by phonetag.com Please speak clearly. To infinity and beyond. Hayden, this message is for you, not for your dad. This is Buzz Lightyear. Woody, get back. Woody. Over there. We're preparing ourselves for Toy Story 3. Hayden, can't wait for you to come to theater and see it. Right now, I want you to eat your vegetables and make your bed. I've got to get to the evil Emperor Zerg. So signing off. Goodbye. Hayden.
C
You have no idea how much you just saved Bert on Christmas gift money. You send the $11,000 bill to him, he will pay it.
D
Are you excited about Toy Story 3 coming out? It's coming out. Just Disney will hate me. But I think June 14th, it's in June. It's gonna be right after my birthday, which is the 13th.
C
Tell us about Crazy on the Outside and your directorial debut.
D
Well, it was a great script. Read it about three years ago. What we did at my production office is a table read to get actors around. And all of a sudden, it was the funniest script I'd read, however mature in theme. So the Disney guys, once we got around to it, they kind of said they had other stuff on the docket. And we have Wild Hogs coming. They'd rather not put it under the Disney name. I loved it. So I talked to a buddy of mine, Kevin Costner, who's done this before and he said, you can get private financing. And my company financed it and I got Sigourney Weaver to play my sister in it. And it's just an adult comedy and it's a laugh all the way through a movie and there's some nice drama in it that the actors did. It's a pilot and Peasley script and it's just a marvelous, real funny script. Adult themes, but a PG13, there's I think one F bomb in it and that's it.
C
As you come into a project like this, as a first time director, are you. Do you. The day before the first day of shooting, do you go to bed nervous?
D
Man, I tell you what, it wasn't that. Point is when I stood on set and I've been doing movies almost for 15 years, 20 years, and I get into these, I get on set and there's like 40 people. They all stop talking very slowly. It's like out of a movie scene this. They all start looking at me. Everybody quiets down. And there was a moment of flop sweat where my mind goes. I think I'm supposed to say something right now.
C
Yeah. They're like, come on, Toolboy, direct us.
D
Oh, exactly. That's exactly the joke I use. Come on, Toolboy, who's the funny man now? And it got, it was so scary to those first words. How do you begin. How do you begin a thesis paper? I used to hate English thesis papers because I never. I sat down at a desk where that just how do you start it? And so I just. What came out was, okay, from the top, from the top. It's just like doing Stand up to me. I love the project. So I'm going to come to Atlanta and show people. And you know, if you like it, fine. If not, it's a Tom Hanks movie.
C
My fear is with Ray Liotta in it, who's always, to me, Henry Hill and Goodfellas, that if you do something wrong that you're gonna end up whacked.
D
There's one scene where I finally have to face down what my decision with him. And he goes, if you're gonna hurt me, hurt me. I go, ray, we're shooting a movie here. I'm not gonna hurt you because you can't. Okay, Ray. Because I have to actually muscle him to the ground. And he says, he kept saying, I'm not moving. And he wouldn't move unless I literally threw him to the ground.
C
Well, you're obviously very excited about the movie, and we're very excited that you chose Atlanta as one of the cities to bring it to. Starting it out with your with your stand up. We'll put all the information up on our website. We appreciate the time and we definitely appreciate the Buzz Lightyear voice. This is the vert show. A vacation rental shouldn't come with surprises.
D
It should come with verbo Care and 24. 7 Life Support.
B
If the hot tub's broken, that's a verbo care thing. If my teenager starts calling me Leslie,
D
that's a family thing.
B
Leslie vrbo care and 24.
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7 life support.
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In this special “Vault” episode, The Bert Show hosts interview comedic actor and now-director Tim Allen. The conversation centers on Allen’s storied television career—especially his time on "Home Improvement"—his ongoing love of stand-up comedy, his iconic work as the voice of Buzz Lightyear, and the experience of directing his first feature film, "Crazy on the Outside." The hosts also create a memorable moment by having Allen leave a surprise Buzz Lightyear-themed voicemail for Bert’s young son, Hayden.
Not Tired of the Legacy: When asked if he’s tired of hearing about "Home Improvement" everywhere he goes, Allen says he’s not over it at all. He speaks fondly of the memories, friendships, and ongoing fan devotion associated with the show.
"No, not over at all. Because I have so many great friends because of it. I have fans. It's still fan bases and websites and my family still sees it."
— Tim Allen (D), [01:52]
Family Impact: Allen shares that his daughter grew up watching "Home Improvement" almost exclusively and sometimes knew the episodes better than he did.
Emotional Farewell: Both Allen and the hosts recall the emotional final taping of "Home Improvement," with Allen describing it as the hardest 30 minutes of his career because of his genuine love for everyone involved.
"That last time...I get this groundswell of tears. And I'm really not that. And man, it was tough."
— Tim Allen (D), [02:49]
Returning to Stand-Up: Allen is preparing for a 10-city comedy tour, planning to combine stand-up with screenings of his directorial debut. The idea is to perform comedy before showing the movie—a concept he finds both exhilarating and nerve-wracking.
"I'm going to do about 20 minutes of comedy up front and you get to watch the movie right after that."
— Tim Allen (D), [04:44]
Origin Story: Allen discusses his start in comedy, which was on a dare from a coworker, leading to his first open mic night and eventual success.
"That's very accurate. I worked at a kind of a high end sporting goods store called the Sportsman in Michigan...You think you're so funny, why don't you go to that comedy night?...And eventually, he almost did. And almost exactly like, what are you scared? Oh, man, don't call me scared."
— Tim Allen (D), [06:26]
Recognition Beyond Sitcoms: Allen acknowledges the unique recognizability of his Buzz Lightyear voice, recounting how it “trips kids out” when he uses it in public.
Funny Elevator Story: Allen describes making a joke as Buzz to a misbehaving child in an elevator, which resulted in the child being visibly shocked.
"This kid's kind of acting up. And I said, go on, Woody. One day, you and Andy will be a bunch of friends sitting around a fire, eating a couple of schmoes. And then the kid goes...He went into some sort of catatonic seizure. He thought that I had eaten Buzz Lightyear. No way. Why is that voice coming out of that ugly man?"
— Tim Allen (D), [08:09]
Special Voicemail Moment: A highlight of the episode is when Allen, at the hosts’ request, calls and leaves a personalized Buzz Lightyear voicemail for Bert's seven-year-old son, Hayden.
"Hayden, this message is for you, not for your dad. This is Buzz Lightyear...Eat your vegetables and make your bed. I've got to get to the evil Emperor Zerg. So signing off. Goodbye, Hayden."
— Tim Allen (D), [10:08]
Project Background: Allen explains choosing to direct "Crazy on the Outside" after reading a standout script and assembling an impressive cast, including Sigourney Weaver, Ray Liotta, and J.K. Simmons.
"It was the funniest script I'd read, however mature in theme...My company financed it and I got Sigourney Weaver...It's an adult comedy and it's a laugh all the way through."
— Tim Allen (D), [11:27]
Challenges as a First-Time Director: Allen candidly discusses his nerves upon realizing everyone on set was looking to him for direction. He likens the feeling to stage fright and hesitancy over starting a thesis paper.
"There was a moment of flop sweat where my mind goes. I think I'm supposed to say something right now."
— Tim Allen (D), [12:51]
Working with Ray Liotta: Allen shares a story about filming a scene where Liotta insisted on true physicality, refusing to move unless Allen actually threw him to the ground.
"He wouldn't move unless I literally threw him to the ground."
— Tim Allen (D), [13:38]
On Saying Goodbye to “Home Improvement”
"Thanks for bringing my mood to a dead halt. I'm going to slow down for a little bit."
— Tim Allen (D), [03:36]
On Moviegoing Pet Peeves
"I'm a bad movie audience guy anyway. Because I'd be back there going, hey, pal, sit down. You can't take a pee right now, right?"
— Tim Allen (D), [05:25]
On Aging and TV Recognition
"I sported a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet in some of those where I thought I was very fashionable."
— Tim Allen (D), [07:29]
Joking About Legalities and Disney
"Disney will bill you at the end of the day for about $11,000, but certainly I will do it."
— Tim Allen (D), [09:39]
This episode is a warm, personal chat with Tim Allen that blends behind-the-scenes Hollywood anecdotes, humor, and moments of nostalgia. Listeners hear Allen reflect on his career and passions, show off his improvisational wit, and create a unique moment for a young Buzz Lightyear fan. The episode captures Allen’s authentic, self-deprecating humor and the affectionate rapport between him and The Bert Show cast, making it both insightful and entertaining for fans old and new.