The Bert Show: Vault - Tough Love From Tiy-E

Original Air Date: January 14, 2026
Host: Bert (Birch), with Melissa, Jen, and guest Dr. Tiy-E
Theme: Unflinching relationship advice and “tough love” with Dr. Tiy-E, a psychology professor specializing in human sexuality.

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, The Bert Show welcomes Dr. Tiy-E, a no-nonsense relationship expert and psychology professor, for a special “Tough Love” segment. Listeners call in and email with real-life relationship dilemmas, seeking Tiy-E’s direct and often provocative advice, while the cast and callers weigh in on issues ranging from intimacy during pregnancy to partner contributions and leadership dynamics at home.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Dr. Tiy-E (01:04–01:50)

• The host introduces Dr. Tiy-E, noting his unique background as a psychology professor and former TV “love coach.”
• Tiy-E sets a charismatic, playful, and candid tone:

  “Being a professor on a real Gilligan's Island is like first nature for me. I mean, he was suave. A ladies man. That's me, baby. Can't you see it?” (01:12, Tiy-E)

• Adds context about his challenging experience on the island and segues into relationship topics.

2. Email: Husband Wants a Third Partner During Wife’s Pregnancy (02:03–04:48)

• A listener, a 25-year-old pregnant married woman with a toddler, emails about her husband’s lack of intimacy and his proposal to bring another woman into their bedroom while she’s pregnant.
• She’s conflicted, referencing past experiences with women, but no longer comfortable with it since becoming a mother.
• The central question: “Would you help me pick a great woman to spice up our relationship?”
• Tiy-E’s response is emphatic and protective of the listener:

  “First of all, you are that great woman. You don't go out and find another woman to satisfy your husband's cravings... If you’re not attracted to your woman's body, say, baby, let's go to the gym together and work out. Make her appreciate the fact that you love her body, because once you let her know that you don't appreciate her body, the relationship will go sour.” (03:13–04:48, Tiy-E)

3. Panel Weighs In: The Emotional Costs for Women (04:48–06:58)

• Melissa and Jen express empathy for the pregnant caller, frustration with the husband’s request:

  “That should be like the greatest thing that has ever happened in his life. The worst thing I can ever hear a man doing is wanting to have an affair on his pregnant wife.” (05:03, Melissa)

• Jen observes that some women “are natural people pleasers” and that the husband may be exploiting the wife’s bisexual past.
• Host Bert suggests the woman needs to do soul-searching about whether she’s sacrificing her own happiness for her husband’s desires.
• Jen and Melissa voice that fear of abandonment as a new mother can make women feel pressured to do things they're uncomfortable with:

  “More than likely the mother. And so I think...I’ve gotta do everything I can to keep him. Cause I don’t wanna be a single mom.” (06:40, Melissa)

4. Tiy-E’s Core Tough Love Philosophy (06:58–07:13)

• Re-emphasizes:

  “If he walks away, he wasn’t meant to stay there anyway. Women are nurturers by nature...No woman wants to be alone. No woman wants to raise their children alone. And men have been known to walk away.” (06:58, Tiy-E)

5. Caller #1: Maria & The Unequal Household Work Dilemma (07:13–09:55)

• Maria calls in about her relationship with her boyfriend, who expects her to do all the household chores despite working two jobs.
• Tiy-E challenges her to evaluate what she’s getting in return:

  “Would you continue to invest...monetarily wise that you weren’t getting a return on?...We compromise too much. If you’re working two jobs, cooking, cleaning, and having sex too, and your mate isn’t giving anything back—what is his purpose there?” (09:11–09:48, Tiy-E)

• Maria acknowledges the imbalance (“It’s not 50/50”), and Tiy-E presses for clarity: “You want 50/50? Well, honestly, there’s no such thing as 50/50. Somebody has to have more.” (09:55–10:10, Tiy-E)

6. 50/50 Relationships, Household Leadership & Expectations (10:07–12:39)

• Tiy-E maintains that someone must be the “head” of the relationship for stability:

  “You can’t have two captains. It just doesn’t work out. Either that man...takes the leadership...or...the woman...but somebody has to be the head of that household.” (10:10, Tiy-E)

• Melissa and Jen surprisingly agree in principle, though agree leadership can be situational:

  “I think that in certain subject matters, you can exchange that balance of power...But I don’t think you can both lead all the time.” (10:49, Jen)

• Another cast member shares that expecting a literal 50/50 leads to endless fights, and admitting inequality can help resolve household tension:

  “Once you drop that 50/50 rule, life becomes so much easier. Life is not 50/50.” (12:32, Jeff)

• Tiy-E adds:

  “Women want a man that they can look up to. They want a man that’s a take-charge type of guy.” (12:39, Tiy-E)
  Gives a humorous anecdote about indecisive couples and the value of a partner who takes initiative in small things.

7. Tiy-E’s Golden Rule: Don’t Sacrifice Yourself (13:48–14:30)

• Tiy-E is clear with Maria (and all listeners):

  “You have to understand there’s a fine line between love and stupidity. You have to find out which side of the line you’re on. You never sacrifice your happiness to make somebody else happy. You just don’t.” (14:13–14:30, Tiy-E)

• Host Bert observes how hard it is to honestly reflect on your own relationship (“holding up a mirror”).

8. On Parenting & Self-Sacrifice (14:52–15:15)

• Maria mentions her son’s attachment to her boyfriend.
• Tiy-E distinguishes:

  “I want to do what's best for my children. No, you do what's best for yourself, and that's doing what's best for your child...if you do what's best for your child, you may lose out, and then that child sees you suffering, and in turn, your child suffers. Do what's best for you, and that's doing what's best for your child.” (14:57–15:15, Tiy-E)

9. Show Closing: Tiy-E’s Projects & Resources (15:25–16:54)

• The hosts note phone lines are packed for more tough love, and invite Tiy-E back in the future.
• Tiy-E plugs his website (www.drtyee.com) and his books:
  • My Mind, My Body, My Spirit — a “heal thyself” novel for women coping with trauma or abusive relationships.
  • Secrets Men Keep — a relationship guide to help men understand themselves and women accept men.
• Tiy-E shares his work with Atlanta’s community and inner-city youths.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “First of all, you are that great woman. You don't go out and find another woman to satisfy your husband's cravings.” (03:13, Dr. Tiy-E)
• “You have to understand, there’s a fine line between love and stupidity...You never sacrifice your happiness to make somebody else happy. You just don’t.” (14:13–14:30, Dr. Tiy-E)
• “Once you drop that 50/50 rule, life becomes so much easier. Life is not 50/50.” (12:32, Jeff)
• “Do what’s best for you, and that’s doing what’s best for your child.” (15:12, Dr. Tiy-E)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:04 - Introduction to Dr. Tiy-E and the tough love approach
• 02:03 - Email from a pregnant woman about intimacy and husband’s demands
• 04:48 - Panel reaction to husband’s behavior and pressure on women
• 07:13 - Call from Maria on housework imbalance, Tiy-E’s “investment” analogy
• 10:07 - Debate on “50/50” relationship myth vs. household leadership
• 12:32 - Personal anecdotes about abandoning the 50/50 expectation
• 13:48 - Tiy-E’s guiding philosophy: don’t sacrifice yourself for someone else
• 14:52 - Discussing parenting and the impact of personal happiness on children
• 15:25 - Tiy-E’s website, books, and community outreach

Overall Tone and Takeaways

Clear, candid, and sometimes blunt, Dr. Tiy-E’s “tough love” leaves no room for self-sacrifice at one’s emotional expense. The hosts and callers create a supportive but honest dynamic, tackling real issues in relationships—especially those amplified by changing life circumstances. The episode emphasizes self-worth, partnership reciprocity, and the need for inner reflection, with actionable, if sometimes tough, advice.

Useful Links

• Dr. Tiy-E’s Website: www.drtyee.com
• The Bert Show’s Page for Tiy-E: allthehitsq100.com (for book & guest info)