The Bert Show: Vault - Tracey's Band Boy

Date: October 28, 2025
Main Participants: The Bert Show Cast (with focus on Tracy, Friend 1, and Friend 2)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the long-harbored crush of intern Tracy, whose heart has been set on a certain “band boy” for over three years. The cast unpacks Tracy's unique relationship pattern—her devotion to musicians—and follows the anticipation, planning, and heartbreak that ensues as she finally gets a shot at her dream date. The conversation is filled with playful teasing, dating advice, and candid revelations about Tracy's love life, all wrapped in the show’s signature lighthearted humor.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Tracy's Unwavering Attraction to Musicians

• Tracy admits she’s only truly interested in men who are in bands, setting the stage for the cast’s lighthearted ribbing.
  • Friend 2 jokingly says: “Tracy will not look at a guy unless he has a guitar in his hand.” (03:07)
  • Tracy confirms: “Drumsticks... That’ll work too.” (03:10)

2. The Three-and-a-Half Year Crush

• Tracy reveals her longstanding crush on a local musician. She’s known him through mutual friends and used to date his roommate.
• What’s held her back? He always had a girlfriend—until now.
  • Tracy: “I’ve known him for three and a half years. I went out with his roommate, like, twice. And then I developed this huge crush on him. But he’s always had a girlfriend...” (02:42)

3. The Big Night and Missed Connection

• Tracy recounts going to see the musician perform, describing how he paid special attention to her.
• The cast has fun imagining exaggerated rock star behavior—fake “pick tosses,” dramatic hair flicks, and being the “first groupie” approached after a set.
  • Friend 1 jokes: “Did he give you the sweaty hair flick? The rock and roll hair flick?” (05:07)
• Tracy shares the electric moment: “I showed up Tuesday night, and he was all excited to see me. And… he paid more attention to me than he did anybody else… Soon as he got off stage, I was the first person he came and talked to.” (04:03)
• The two make plans to hang out—finally!
  • Tracy recalls: “He asked me what I was doing Monday night… ‘Would you want to hang out Monday night?’ And I was like, yeah!” (06:51)

4. The Last-Minute Letdown

• The anticipated Monday night date never happens: the musician emails that he’s sick with the flu and won’t make it.
  • Tracy, deflated, says: “I got an email yesterday saying he has the flu and he wasn’t coming to town afterwards.” (08:26)
• The cast empathizes but reminds her that after waiting years, a few more weeks might not be so bad.
  • Friend 2 encourages: “Well, I mean, you’ve given the guy three and a half years. You can certainly give him another couple of weeks.” (08:38)

5. Is He Really Interested?

• Tracy seeks the crew’s advice: Does the canceled date signal real interest or a brush-off?
  • Friend 2 reassures: “He’s so into you.” (08:45)
• The group debates how Tracy should handle next steps. Should she play “hard to get” or be direct?
  • Friend 2 offers dating strategy: “I think with a guy that’s in a rock band… totally keep him on his toes and make him chase you.” (09:25)
  • Tracy agrees: “Always play hard to get with the boys… I’m not going to call you back. Every time you call me, I don’t call guys. Usually, they have to call me back.” (10:16)

6. Playful Advice and Future Plans

• The cast jokes about Tracy leveraging her radio gig for attraction, promising to build her up when she finally gets her date.
  • Friend 2 jokes: “This is going to be the Tracy Show. We’re going to have jingles made and everything.” (09:10)
• Light-hearted threats about who Tracy might bring on her eventual date round out the conversation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On her attraction type:
  • Tracy: “Most of the guys I have dated seriously weren’t in bands. It’s just the ones I—”
    Friend 1: “…Were roadies. And you were just hoping to get into a dressing room.” (03:04)
• On the big “green light” moment:
  • Friend 2: “Green light, big time green light right there.” (06:14)
• On dating musicians:
  • Friend 2: “With a guy that’s in a rock band, I think what you have to do is ignore him… make him chase you.” (09:25)
• On relationship games:
  • Tracy: “Always play hard to get with the boys. I’m totally into games… I’m not going to call you back. Every time you call me. I don’t call guys. Usually, they have to call me back.” (10:16)
• On the group’s support:
  • Friend 2: “Do whatever you got to do to get this guy. We totally condone that.” (10:32)

Important Timestamps

• 02:14 – Segment starts: Tracy’s type (musician-only dating policy)
• 03:23 – Tracy reflects on her first encounters and three-year crush
• 04:03 – Tracy recounts the post-show encounter (“I was the first person he came and talked to.”)
• 06:51 – The musician asks Tracy to hang out (“Would you want to hang out Monday night?”)
• 08:26 – The letdown: musician cancels due to the flu
• 09:25 – Advice from the cast: strategies for dating musicians
• 10:16 – Tracy shares her philosophy on playing “hard to get”

Summary & Takeaways

• The episode is a humorous and heartfelt exploration of Tracy’s persistent crush on a “band boy.”
• Listeners get a relatable glimpse into the anticipation, excitement, and disappointment of chasing a long-held romantic interest.
• The cast expertly mixes playful teasing with genuinely supportive advice, showcasing their dynamic chemistry and offering listeners both laughs and insight into modern dating dilemmas.

Missed connections, heartfelt hopes, and plenty of rock ‘n’ roll ribbing—this is classic Bert Show, making everyday drama wildly entertaining and oddly reassuring for anyone who’s played the long dating game.