The Bert Show — Vault: War of Roses: Christian, Autumn
Date: October 28, 2025 | Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast
Episode Overview
This emotionally charged episode revives a classic “War of the Roses” segment, a signature of The Bert Show where suspected cheaters are exposed on air. Autumn suspects her boyfriend Christian of being unfaithful. The twist, and the confrontation that follows, delivers one of the series’ most shocking conclusions.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Setup: The "War of the Roses" Test
- The episode opens with the show's familiar premise: a listener (here, Autumn) fears cheating and arranges to catch their significant other via a fake flower giveaway.
- Lindsay (posing as a florist) calls Christian to offer him a free bouquet of roses for someone special in his life.
- Notable moment: Despite skepticism, Christian accepts the offer, asking to send the roses.
The Reveal: Christian’s Surprising Choice (00:46 – 01:31)
- When asked who the flowers should go to, Christian chooses “April” and adds, "Thinking of you," to the card.
- Quote (Christian, 01:24): “Yeah, just thinking of you, Christian.”
- The hosts and Autumn are listening in the background, awaiting his decision.
The Confrontation: Live On-Air Drama (01:31 – 02:58)
- Bert reveals the ruse to Christian, bringing Autumn into the conversation live.
- Quote (Autumn, 01:42): “Are you going to send my sister flowers? Hello, Christian. I know what you’ve been up to. Now you—”
- The true twist lands: "April" is Autumn’s younger sister.
- The hosts express shock and concern, realizing the gravity of the situation.
- Quote (Radio Host, 01:54): “That’s your sister.”
- Autumn confronts Christian about his actions and the betrayal, while Christian admits fault and fails to justify his actions.
- Quote (Christian, 02:36): “I don’t know. I know. No, it’s over, Christian, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
- Autumn is clearly distraught but resolute.
Aftermath: Processing the Fallout (03:04 – 03:56)
- The hosts try to gather more context—how Christian met April, and the age differences.
- They learn that April is just 18, while Christian is 34.
- The group discusses family gatherings, and how Christian and April interacted as part of family occasions.
- Quote (Christian, 03:06): “She’s a kid. We took her out with us. Got our fake ID and everything. It was really unbelievable.”
- Quote (Radio Host, 03:21): “Oh man, that’s so not good.”
- Autumn reflects on her heartbreak and the value, harsh as it is, of knowing the truth.
- Quote (Christian, 03:48): “It’s better to know. It’s better to know. You know. It’s better to know who you can trust and who you can’t. So it’s a hard lesson.”
Emotional Closure (03:56 – 04:13)
- The hosts offer Autumn some solace by promising to send her roses as an act of comfort.
- Quote (Radio Host, 03:56): “We’re gonna send you the roses from Kroger. Okay?”
- Both Autumn and the hosts exchange words of sympathy. Autumn vows to remain strong and thanks the show.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- "Are you going to send my sister flowers? Hello, Christian. I know what you've been up to." — Autumn (01:42)
- "That is my 18 year old sister. A girl who's practically half your age. Christian, you know, you should have just told me about this." — Autumn (01:56)
- "She’s a kid. We took her out with us. Got our fake ID and everything. It was really unbelievable." — Christian (03:06)
- "He’s 34 years old." — Autumn (03:19)
- "It’s better to know. It’s better to know who you can trust and who you can’t. So it’s a hard lesson." — Autumn (03:48)
- "We’re gonna send you the roses from Kroger. Okay?" — Radio Host (03:56)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:26 | Lindsay calls Christian as a fake florist, sets up the test
- 01:08 | Christian chooses to send flowers to "April"
- 01:31 | The reveal: Bert and Autumn confront Christian on air
- 03:06 | Details about Christian’s meeting with April and their age difference
- 03:48 | Autumn reflects on the value of knowing the truth
- 03:56 | Hosts promise to send Autumn flowers for support
Summary
This episode of The Bert Show’s "War of the Roses" is a rollercoaster of emotion and jaw-dropping revelations. Through their signature investigative segment, the cast helps listener Autumn confront her boyfriend Christian's infidelity, only to discover the betrayal cuts deeper—he's seeing her much younger sister. The conversation is raw and unfiltered, showcasing the devastating impact of betrayal but also the relief—and pain—of learning the truth. The hosts handle Autumn’s heartbreak with empathy, ending on a note of solidarity and support.