The Bert Show – Vault: War of Roses - Jamie & Shelley

Release Date: October 29, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast

Episode Overview

In this classic "War of the Roses" segment, a core feature of The Bert Show, listeners are invited into the tension-filled world of relationship trust tests. Shelly suspects her husband Jamie of infidelity due to his recent late nights and secretive behavior. The show conducts their signature loyalty test by pretending to offer Jamie free flowers to see who he chooses to send them to, aiming to expose any hidden romantic involvements. This episode masterfully blends suspense, humor, and authentic interaction—ultimately delivering an unexpected twist.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to "War of the Roses"

[00:00–00:20]

• The hosts explain the premise: a woman, suspicious of her partner’s fidelity, enlists the help of the show to catch him in the act (or not) via a fake florist call.
  • Quote [A, 00:00]:
    "Woman is convinced that her man has been messing around... she has us place a fake phone call... pretending to be a florist... see who he's gonna turn around and send the flowers to."

2. The Call with Jamie

[00:20–03:02]

• The “florist” (host impersonating) calls Jamie with the offer of free roses. Jamie agrees, but as the questioning proceeds, he throws everyone for a loop:
  • Jamie immediately asks for multiple dozens:
    “Can I get more than one dozen? Like if I see the difference or something, I want to get some extras.” [C, 00:47]
  • Jokingly, Jamie lists three different women he’s “seeing” plus his wife—throwing out names quickly:
    • Lisa
    • Kelly (“with an i-e”)
    • Susie
    • And finally, wife Shelly
  • Jamie’s reasoning for sending the same message:
    “Just put the same thing on all four of them, because that way I get a little less chance for confusion. You know what I mean?” [C, 01:13]
  • He even adds an extra P.S. for all: “P.S. I listen to the Bert Show, too, and I love my wife more.” [C, 02:33]

3. The Reveal & Relief

[03:02–03:54]

• The hosts break the fourth wall, letting Jamie know they were in on the joke and Shelly hears everything.
  • Jamie admits he was aware and was just playing along.
  • Big reveal: Jamie seems to know he was being tested due to Shelly’s anxieties about "working late" and extra spending.
  • He points out Shelly’s concern should wait until after his birthday, hinting at possible surprise planning.
    • Quote [C, 03:30]:
      “Why don't you just ask Shelly what is coming up, what May 9th is.”
    • Quote [C, 03:30]:
      “Maybe she might consider not questioning me like this until after May 9th.”

4. Reflection and De-escalation

[03:54–04:52]

• The hosts and Jamie reassure Shelly, reflecting on how easily such setups could have gone wrong.
• Shelly is called a “worrywart,” but Jamie denies there is any real insecurity in their relationship.
• The group discusses how most women “go off” when hearing other names but compliment Shelly for holding it together.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:47 | Jamie | "Can I get more than one dozen?...I’ve got, you know, about three different women..." | | 01:13 | Jamie | "...put the same thing on all four of them, because that way I get a little less chance for confusion." | | 02:33 | Jamie | "P.S. I listen to the Bert Show, too, and I love my wife more." | | 03:30 | Jamie | "Why don't you just ask Shelly what is coming up, what May 9th is." | | 03:30 | Jamie | "Maybe she might consider not questioning me like this until after May 9th." | | 03:54 | Host | "You probably goaded her into it." | | 04:15 | Host | "When Jamie said, I think my heart felt like, through my body to my feet." | | 04:23 | Jamie | "Oh my God." | | 04:36 | Jamie | "I was just digging my nails into my body, and I had to come up with three names..." |

Important Timestamps

• 00:00–00:20 | Show explains "War of the Roses" concept
• 00:20–02:33 | Florist call with Jamie; the prank escalates
• 02:33–03:02 | Jamie requests the P.S. message; call wraps up
• 03:02–03:30 | Hosts reveal truth; Jamie’s awareness unfolds
• 03:30–04:36 | Jamie and Shelly process the aftermath live
• 04:36–04:52 | Hosts and couple reassure each other, ending conversation

Tone & Style

• The episode balances suspense (will Jamie admit to cheating?), humor (his over-the-top response listing multiple women), and warmth (the relief and playful ribbing that follows the reveal).
• The hosts maintain their authentic, friendly, slightly mischievous banter, and Jamie meets their energy with confident, joking responses.

Summary for Listeners

This episode of "War of the Roses" turns the usual formula on its head: Instead of catching an unfaithful partner, it reveals how suspicion and playful deception collide. Jamie’s fast-thinking and humor neutralize a potentially explosive situation, highlighting the show’s blend of reality, entertainment, and empathy. For those who haven’t listened, this episode is a prime example of The Bert Show’s ability to keep things real—funny, surprising, and ultimately reassuring.