Vault: War of Roses - Jamie & Shelley

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: War of Roses - Jamie & Shelley

Release Date: October 29, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting / The Bert Show Cast

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Episode Overview

In this classic "War of the Roses" segment, a core feature of The Bert Show, listeners are invited into the tension-filled world of relationship trust tests. Shelly suspects her husband Jamie of infidelity due to his recent late nights and secretive behavior. The show conducts their signature loyalty test by pretending to offer Jamie free flowers to see who he chooses to send them to, aiming to expose any hidden romantic involvements. This episode masterfully blends suspense, humor, and authentic interaction—ultimately delivering an unexpected twist.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to "War of the Roses"

[00:00–00:20]

• The hosts explain the premise: a woman, suspicious of her partner’s fidelity, enlists the help of the show to catch him in the act (or not) via a fake florist call.
  • Quote [A, 00:00]:
    "Woman is convinced that her man has been messing around... she has us place a fake phone call... pretending to be a florist... see who he's gonna turn around and send the flowers to."

2. The Call with Jamie

[00:20–03:02]

• The “florist” (host impersonating) calls Jamie with the offer of free roses. Jamie agrees, but as the questioning proceeds, he throws everyone for a loop:
  • Jamie immediately asks for multiple dozens:
    “Can I get more than one dozen? Like if I see the difference or something, I want to get some extras.” [C, 00:47]
  • Jokingly, Jamie lists three different women he’s “seeing” plus his wife—throwing out names quickly:
    • Lisa
    • Kelly (“with an i-e”)
    • Susie
    • And finally, wife Shelly
  • Jamie’s reasoning for sending the same message:
    “Just put the same thing on all four of them, because that way I get a little less chance for confusion. You know what I mean?” [C, 01:13]
  • He even adds an extra P.S. for all: “P.S. I listen to the Bert Show, too, and I love my wife more.” [C, 02:33]

3. The Reveal & Relief

[03:02–03:54]

• The hosts break the fourth wall, letting Jamie know they were in on the joke and Shelly hears everything.
  • Jamie admits he was aware and was just playing along.
  • Big reveal: Jamie seems to know he was being tested due to Shelly’s anxieties about "working late" and extra spending.
  • He points out Shelly’s concern should wait until after his birthday, hinting at possible surprise planning.
    • Quote [C, 03:30]:
      “Why don't you just ask Shelly what is coming up, what May 9th is.”
    • Quote [C, 03:30]:
      “Maybe she might consider not questioning me like this until after May 9th.”

4. Reflection and De-escalation

[03:54–04:52]

• The hosts and Jamie reassure Shelly, reflecting on how easily such setups could have gone wrong.
• Shelly is called a “worrywart,” but Jamie denies there is any real insecurity in their relationship.
• The group discusses how most women “go off” when hearing other names but compliment Shelly for holding it together.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:47 | Jamie | "Can I get more than one dozen?...I’ve got, you know, about three different women..." | | 01:13 | Jamie | "...put the same thing on all four of them, because that way I get a little less chance for confusion." | | 02:33 | Jamie | "P.S. I listen to the Bert Show, too, and I love my wife more." | | 03:30 | Jamie | "Why don't you just ask Shelly what is coming up, what May 9th is." | | 03:30 | Jamie | "Maybe she might consider not questioning me like this until after May 9th." | | 03:54 | Host | "You probably goaded her into it." | | 04:15 | Host | "When Jamie said, I think my heart felt like, through my body to my feet." | | 04:23 | Jamie | "Oh my God." | | 04:36 | Jamie | "I was just digging my nails into my body, and I had to come up with three names..." |

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–00:20 | Show explains "War of the Roses" concept
• 00:20–02:33 | Florist call with Jamie; the prank escalates
• 02:33–03:02 | Jamie requests the P.S. message; call wraps up
• 03:02–03:30 | Hosts reveal truth; Jamie’s awareness unfolds
• 03:30–04:36 | Jamie and Shelly process the aftermath live
• 04:36–04:52 | Hosts and couple reassure each other, ending conversation

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Tone & Style

• The episode balances suspense (will Jamie admit to cheating?), humor (his over-the-top response listing multiple women), and warmth (the relief and playful ribbing that follows the reveal).
• The hosts maintain their authentic, friendly, slightly mischievous banter, and Jamie meets their energy with confident, joking responses.

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Summary for Listeners

This episode of "War of the Roses" turns the usual formula on its head: Instead of catching an unfaithful partner, it reveals how suspicion and playful deception collide. Jamie’s fast-thinking and humor neutralize a potentially explosive situation, highlighting the show’s blend of reality, entertainment, and empathy. For those who haven’t listened, this episode is a prime example of The Bert Show’s ability to keep things real—funny, surprising, and ultimately reassuring.

Transcript

[A]

Listen, it's the vert show. You know how War of the Roses works, right? Woman is convinced that her man has been messing around on her. So what she does is she has us place a fake phone call to him pretending to be a florist, and she wants to see who he's gonna turn around and send the flowers to. Either her or the person he's messing around with.

[B]

Hello, is Jamie in, please?

[C]

Yes, speaking.

[B]

Jamie, Hi, this is Lindsay. I'm calling from a radio station in Atlanta. You're live on the air right now and you've just won this incredible crowd. You are getting a free dozen roses. You can send them to whomever you'd like, and they are completely free and they're gorgeous. Would you like to send someone long step red roses?

[C]

Yeah, that's great.

[B]

Okay, great, great, great. I first just need to fill out a card so we know who they're going to.

[C]

Is it okay? Can I get more than one dozen? Like if I see the difference or something, I want to get some extras.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, no, no. We'll pay for it, definitely. How many dozen?

[C]

I've got, you know, about three different women I'm seeing right now.

[B]

Three different women you're seeing? Okay.

[C]

Plus I, you know, have to take care of my wife.

[B]

Plus your wife. Okay, let's fill out. Let's do card number one, then we'll do card number two, three, and then your wife's card.

[C]

Okay, who's the first? I'll tell you what, why don't you just say you mean the world to me. Love, Jamie. And you know what? Just put the same thing on all four of them, because that way I get a little less chance for confusion. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, But I need. The only thing I need to know is their names. You mean the world to me. Love Jamie. And who are they going to?

[C]

Well, okay, the first one right is gonna be Lisa.

[B]

Lisa. Gotcha. Lisa.

[C]

You know what? Maybe.

[B]

What?

[C]

Is it easier just not to put any names that way?

[B]

No, I actually need to put names on because we've had horrible screw ups in the past.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, Lisa. Who's the second one?

[C]

The first one's Lisa.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Second one is Kelly. Kelly with an ie.

[B]

With an ie. Gotcha. Thank you for telling me that. And the third girlfriend goes to whom?

[C]

Susan.

[B]

Susan.

[C]

No, Mega Susie.

[B]

Oh, Susie. I, E or S U S. And.

[C]

Then my wife Shelly is my wife, Shelly.

[B]

Your wife gets the last of the four roses.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Can I just add one more thing?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

You put a P.S.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

On all of them.

[B]

Absolutely. What would you like to say?

[C]

Just put, P.S. i listen to the Burt show, too, and I love my wife more.

[B]

Thank you, Jamie. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Good for you, Jamie.

[A]

Hey, Shelly.

[B]

Good for you, Jimmy.

[A]

You had us all freaked, dude. Freaked?

[C]

You can't kid a kid.

[A]

Hey, Jamie.

[C]

Bad girl.

[A]

Okay. Because you heard what was going on with Shelly. She's all freaked out that you're working late and that, you know, you're taking a little extra money out of the kitty and she doesn't know what for. So you.

[C]

Not that again.

[A]

You want to comfort her a little bit here?

[C]

Why don't you just ask Shelly what is coming up, what May 9th is.

[A]

Shelly, what is May 9th?

[C]

My birthday. Maybe she might consider not questioning me like this until after May 9th. Oh, my God. Ouch, that's rough. Oh, honey, I love it. Sorry. Hey.

[A]

Pretty fun.

[C]

I feel so bad.

[A]

We told her not to do it.

[C]

You probably goaded her into it.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

I mean, it's. You know, I. I don't know. She's a worry wart. That's what she is. She's a worrier.

[A]

Shelly. A little insecure about the relationship?

[C]

No. I mean. No.

[A]

Well, Jamie, you. You had us all freaked out. We're like, what? That was. Poor girlfriends. Yeah. It wouldn't have been out of the ordinary, though, for this thing.

[C]

When Jamie said, I think my heart felt like, through my body to my feet.

[B]

I can't even imagine how you must have felt, cuz when. When Jamie said all four women.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. That could have ended up horribly, because what most women do, once they hear somebody else's name is they instantly start going off on the guy. And luckily you waited and then did.

[C]

She held it together pretty well.

[A]

Yeah, she did.

[C]

I was just digging my nails into my body and I had to come up with three names. I mean.

[A]

So everything's fine there, Shelley.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

And he's a good man because he listens to the show also.

[C]

He is a good man.

[A]

He's a good man.

[C]

I'll see you soon, okay?

[A]

All right, guys, talk to you later. Listen, it's the Bird show.