The Bert Show – "Vault: War of Roses – Lisa & Bob"

Podcast Host: Bert and Cast (featuring Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Lindsey, and others)
Episode Air Date: October 30, 2025
Summary by: Podcast Summarizer

Episode Overview

This episode dives into a classic “War of the Roses” scenario—The Bert Show’s fan-favorite segment where partners test each other's fidelity via a bogus flower shop call. Today’s case centers on Lisa, who suspects her boyfriend Bob is cheating—again. While the whole cast weighs in with humor and skepticism, listeners get to eavesdrop on messy relationship drama, raw emotion, and the sometimes unhelpful advice of friends.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to Lisa and Her Situation

[02:10–04:00]

• Bert introduces Lisa, whose emotional state is immediately apparent (“I can already hear the stress. What’s going on?”).
• Lisa reveals Bob previously cheated with a woman who works at a nearby restaurant, with Lisa at one point catching them together at her home.
• She is still in the relationship, despite past infidelity and clear lingering anger.

Memorable Quote:
Lisa: "I came home from work one day and, like, caught them in bed together. ... And my man just [messed] around on me when I’m at work, like, trying to make the dollar. Do you know what I mean?" [02:55]

2. Confronting the Cheating—Past and Present

[03:19–04:50]

• Bert notes Lisa’s anger; she admits to still feeling hurt.
• Lisa recounts retaliatory behavior (“I burned him with my curling iron”).
• Discussion leads to doubts and why Lisa chose to stay, with Lisa struggling between love and distrust.

Notable Exchange:
Bert: "This is so hell. Why are you even still with this guy? What is the matter with you?"
Lisa: "Because I love him." [04:09–04:15]

3. Current Suspicion & The ‘Evil Box’ Clue

[03:45–06:02]

• Lisa recently found a fresh takeout box from the restaurant where Bob’s alleged affair partner works—renewing her suspicions.
• Cast expresses skepticism about Bob’s commitment and Lisa’s decision to stay.

4. The War of the Roses Call

[06:04–08:14]

• Lindsey, posing as a flower shop rep, calls Bob offering free roses for a promotional giveaway.
• Bob sounds groggy and confused but ultimately decides to send the flowers to Lisa.
• The cast pushes Bob for a note to include; his message is underwhelming: "Got these free flowers and thought of you."
• He responds lukewarmly to questions about love ("Do you love her? -- I guess").
  [08:12]

Memorable Moment:
Lindsey: "Do you love her?"
Bob: "I guess." [08:13]

5. Lisa and Bob’s On-Air Confrontation

[08:17–09:50]

• The hosts reveal the ruse to Bob; Lisa confronts him on-air about his weak profession of love and the suspicious takeout bag.
• Tension escalates with Lisa questioning his faithfulness; Bob, disoriented, insists the flowers were for her.

Standout Quotes:
Lisa: "You had to think about it. You guess so?" [08:28]
Lindsey: "Lisa, do you think you’re being just a little hard on the guy? He sent them back to you." [09:27]
Lisa: "He guesses he loves me, the dumb. ... Why don’t you go to the evil plan and guess you, like, love someone over there?" [09:31]

6. Resolution & The Bert Show’s Take

[09:50–10:05]

• Bert attempts to calm things, noting the “good news” that Bob sent the roses to Lisa—a minor win that does little to solve their problems.
• Lisa’s lingering bitterness and the unresolved tension are palpable.
• The cast signs off, gently wishing the couple “good luck” with skepticism.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lisa’s Wrath:
  “You know what I did to him, too, when he was sleeping? I burned him with my curling iron.” [04:00]

• Cutting Honesty:
  Bert: "Why are you even still with this guy?" [04:09]

• Deflated Romance: Lindsey: "Do you love her?"
  Bob: "I guess." [08:13]

• Lisa’s Sarcasm & Frustration:
  "He guesses he loves me, the dumb." [09:31]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Lisa’s Backstory and Cheating Incident: [02:10–04:00]
• Retaliation and Staying Together: [04:00–04:50]
• Discovery of New Evidence: [03:45–06:02]
• ‘War of the Roses’ Flower Call: [06:39–08:14]
• On-Air Confrontation: [08:17–09:50]
• Show Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts: [09:50–10:05]

Tone & Language

• Informal, comedic, blunt, occasionally profane.
• The hosts balance empathy with tough love, often injecting dry humor and sarcasm.
• Lisa’s tone ranges from vulnerable and frustrated to biting and sardonic; Bob is nonchalant, barely alert.

Summary Takeaway

Listeners get front-row seats to a soap-opera-worthy relationship crisis, with plenty of drama and dark humor. The Bert Show’s irreverent “War of the Roses” formula exposes raw emotions, unfiltered reactions, and uncomfortable truths—while the cast’s playful disbelief highlights just how messy love can be.

If you love real (and really messy) relationship drama, harsh truths, and the occasional offbeat joke—this episode delivers.