Vault: Watching Her Baby Get Shots Broke Her Heart

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Vault: Watching Her Baby Get Shots Broke Her Heart
Date: May 11, 2026
Host & Guests: Bert Show Cast, featuring Tracy Kinney (guest), Jeff, Jessica, Alex, and Scott (mentioned)

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Overview

In this emotionally honest and relatable episode, the Bert Show cast welcomes Tracy Kinney back to the studio as she shares her experience as a new mother coping with the emotional challenges of taking her baby, Ella, for her immunization shots. The conversation delves into parental guilt, the anxiety of seeing a child in pain, and the shared experiences among parents during these milestone moments. The hosts and callers offer empathy, humor, and solidarity while discussing the unique pressures faced by new parents navigating the highs and lows of early childhood medical care.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sleep Deprivation and Early Motherhood

• Tracy reflects on motherhood’s sleepless nights:
  • She shares that her four-month-old baby, Ella, woke up four times the previous night.
  • The group gently teases, but Tracy insists, “it’s worth it. It is worth it. So I’m not gonna complain. She’s awesome.” (00:54)

The First Shots: Parental Guilt and Anxiety

• Recounting the trauma of Ella’s first vaccine shots at two months:
  • Tracy admits she couldn’t stay in the room, overwhelmed by her own emotions, and let her partner, Scott, handle it.
  • “I just let Scott stay in there with her...I started shaking. Like the room was closing in on me.” (03:42, Tracy Kinney)
  • She describes feeling “crushed” for not being by her daughter's side:
    • “Here was the one point where my baby really needed me, and I left her.” (02:24, Tracy Kinney)

What Makes it So Hard?

• The emotional pain outweighs the medical discomfort:
  • Tracy clarifies it’s not squeamishness or medical aversion, but the heartbreak of seeing her baby in avoidable pain, feeling she’s complicit in it.
  • “It’s knowing that somebody is causing pain to my baby and her looking at me and just seeing it happen, you know, or seeing me let it happen.” (02:46, Tracy Kinney)
  • The unique cry of a baby getting shots is “wailing because they have no idea what just happened to them. And why did mommy just let that happen?” (02:58, Tracy Kinney)

Listener and Host Reactions:

• Validation from another mom:
  • “It happens to every mom. It happened to me. It happens. As soon as you see those needles, it’s like, oh, my goodness.” (04:09, Alex)
• The line between projection and reality:
  • Jessica questions if moms are projecting their own feelings onto the baby:
    • “Don’t you think the ‘mommy let this happen’ part is probably not going through Ella’s mind?” (04:23, Jessica)
  • Tracy admits it’s irrational: “I know it’s all in my head, but you can’t convince yourself of that when it’s about to happen.” (04:33, Tracy Kinney)
• Discussion of parental cues:
  • Tracy and Alex agree that kids pick up on their parents’ emotions, and their own anxiety may escalate their child’s distress.

The Second Shot Visit: Growth and Courage

• Determined to be present:
  • Tracy shares her resolve for the four-month shots:
    • “This time I’m gonna stay by her side… I held her hand and the nurse came in, and I just bit my lip and I let it happen. And all three shots, and she screamed and she wailed and I picked her up, but I made it through it.” (07:02, Tracy Kinney)
  • “Good job, Tracy. Good job, Tracy.” (07:21, Jessica & others)
• How it felt after:
  • Tracy says she feels much better having stayed:
    • “Because of course, I mean, she still loves me just as much and I’ve learned my lesson and I was there.” (07:23, Tracy Kinney)

Humor and Relatable Parenting Moments

• Light teasing about therapy:
  • “But when she’s in therapy, you know, 18 years, she’ll be like, oh, those booster shots.” (07:27, Jessica)
• Jeff’s pet comparison falls flat:
  • Jeff tries to empathize by comparing taking his dog to the vet; Tracy and the group quickly call him out:
    • “Do not compare Sasha and babysitter dogs.” (05:20, Tracy Kinney)
    • “Jeff, it’s not the same thing.” (05:33, Tracy Kinney)

Stories from Other Parents

• Caller Alex shares:
  • “My four year old knows what’s coming. And the fear in her eyes just makes me start crying…my six month old has no idea, so daddy stays with her. And I cried the whole time with her.” (05:42, Alex)
  • Tracy and Alex agree: sometimes parents need to step out so as not to transfer their anxiety.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[Her cry] is like a cry you never hear, you know, it’s not a hunger cry. It’s not a I’m lonely cry. It’s just like wailing because they have no idea what just happened to them. And why did mommy just let that happen?”
  – Tracy Kinney (02:58)
• “Here was the one point where my baby really needed me, and I left her.”
  – Tracy Kinney (02:24)
• “I started shaking. Like the room was closing in on me. Like, I felt like I was gonna fall over because I just didn’t…I just didn’t want to have to go through that.”
  – Tracy Kinney (03:42)
• “You can’t convince yourself of that when it’s about to happen.”
  – Tracy Kinney (04:33)
• “Good job, Tracy. Good job, Tracy. Do you feel better about this experience even though she still cried?”
  – Jessica (07:21–07:25)
• “When she’s in therapy in 18 years, she’ll be like, oh, those booster shots…”
  – Jessica (07:27)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:19–01:05 – Tracy updates on Ella’s age and recent challenges with sleep
• 01:05–02:24 – Recounting the emotional trauma of the first round of shots
• 02:24–04:01 – Deep dive into why Tracy finds shots so hard to witness
• 04:01–04:54 – Listener & host reactions, emotional validation, and projection discussion
• 05:20–05:33 – Humorous disagreement about comparing kids to pets
• 05:42–06:04 – Caller Alex shares her own difficult experience at the doctor
• 06:35–07:23 – Tracy describes braving the shots and her feelings afterward

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show gives listeners an intimate look at early parenting emotions—sleepless nights, powerful protective instincts, guilt, and ultimately growth. The cast’s blend of humor, empathy, and honesty provides both comfort and comic relief for parents (and non-parents) who have ever faced a similar situation or wondered what it’s like. Tracy’s vulnerability – and the support she receives – turns a routine doctor’s appointment into a shared moment of real-life parenting connection.

Transcript

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[Tracy Kinney]

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[VRBO Narrator]

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[Jeff]

The Bird Show. Tracy Kinney is in studio.

[Jessica]

Hi, Tracy Kinney.

[Tracy Kinney]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

Proud mom to Ella.

[Tracy Kinney]

Yes. Who woke up four times last night.

[Jeff]

Why?

[Tracy Kinney]

I don't know. She's just. For a while there, she was actually sleeping through the night, and I was all proud of my little baby. But I don't know, lately, I guess she's just hungry a lot or she just wants to cuddle. But four times in one night, does

[Jeff]

she wake up just to, like, announce that, hey, I'm up, or is she like.

[Tracy Kinney]

No, she wants to, like, eat. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tracy Kinney]

Which is frustrating because then you have to lay there for 30 minutes while she eats. And if you do that four times, that's two hours of sleep I'm losing.

[Jeff]

So how many hours of sleep have you gotten last night did you get last night?

[Alex]

Probably four,

[Tracy Kinney]

but it's worth it. It is worth it. So I'm not gonna complain. She's awesome.

[Jeff]

We talked to Tracy a couple weeks ago. Was it maybe a month and a half ago?

[Tracy Kinney]

It was two months ago.

[Jeff]

How old is Ella now?

[Tracy Kinney]

She's four months.

[Jeff]

So when Ella was two months old, she went in to the doctor and had to get a round of shots, you know, as babies have to get. And Tracy did not handle that too well.

[Jessica]

Right.

[Alex]

When the nurse came in with the needles, I just started shaking, was almost to the point of tears. And she suggested that I go out in the hallway and Scott stay with her. And that's what I ended up doing. And now I feel awful because, like, the one point, you know, like, that was the one time my baby was in pain and I let my own fears and my own emotions about the whole thing get in the way and I left her. Like, I am just so upset about it.

[Jeff]

Tracy Hall. Tracy, get a grip. So that was because when Tracy told us that, we refused to allow her in the studio. That's why she was on the phone.

[Tracy Kinney]

No, I was on maternity leave.

[Jeff]

Okay. So Tracy told us last week that Ella was going in for round two of shots.

[Tracy Kinney]

Yeah, it was her four month checkup, so she had to get shots again. And last time she had two shots. And this time she was scheduled for three shots.

[Jeff]

And this is also where you have her microchipped, right?

[Tracy Kinney]

No, I haven't gotten her microchipped yet, but I'm not opposed to it. So going into it, of course, Scott came with me, and I was all nervous because after the last time, I just felt so crushed for at least, you know, for the longest time, because here was the one point where my baby really needed me, and I left her. Like, I couldn't stay in the room because I was afraid of her being in pain.

[Jeff]

So instead, what is it that freaks you out? Is it the. Because, like, I don't do good in medical situations. Like when they do the surgery scene in Grey's Anatomy, I'm the guy who turns away. Like, is it the actual seeing?

[Tracy Kinney]

No, it's not. I mean, it's not like being, you know, feeling queasy about the whole thing. It's knowing that somebody is causing pain to my baby and her looking at me and just seeing it happen, you know, or seeing me let it happen. You know, she's looking into my eyes, and I'm just standing there, like, staring at her, knowing that somebody's gonna hurt her. And I was just. I don't know. I mean. And the wailing that they. The cry is like a cry you never hear, you know, it's not a hunger cry. It's not a I'm lonely cry. It's just like wailing because they have no idea what just happened to them. And why did mommy just let that happen?

[Jeff]

So it's almost like self.

[Tracy Kinney]

It's an emotional thing. Like, I just couldn't bear to let. To see it happen. So last time, I just let Scott stay in there with her.

[Jeff]

Scott, the guy who passed out while you were delivering your baby?

[Jessica]

That's a good cause. It's okay for her to say, oh, look, Daddy's letting this happen to me.

[Tracy Kinney]

No, I mean, I couldn't. I can't describe. Like, I started shaking. Like, the room was closing in on me. Like, I felt like I was gonna fall over because I just didn't. I just didn't want to have to go through that. So I left the room, and I sat in the hallway, and I heard the whole thing go down next, you know, in the room. So then.

[Jeff]

Hey, Jessica. How are you?

[Alex]

Good. How are you?

[Jeff]

Good.

[Jessica]

You have something for Tracy?

[Alex]

Yes, I do. I just wanted to let her know that it happens to every mom. It happened to me. It happens. As soon as you see those needles, it's like, oh, my goodness.

[Jessica]

But aren't you projecting? Because when you say that, Ella's like, I feel pain. And mommy let this happen. Don't you think the mommy let this happen part is probably not going through Ella's mind?

[Tracy Kinney]

Oh, I. I know it's all in my head, but you can't convince yourself of that when it's about to happen. You know, I know that emotionally she is. No, you know, she's gonna forget about it two minutes later and she's gonna love me just as much. But it's just that two seconds of her looking at me thinking, what the heck did you just let happen? Is just crushing. But you think she's looking at you when it's all happening. Right?

[Jeff]

But you think that's the look on her face. But that's not the look on her face. Like, the look on her face is, oh, that hurt.

[Tracy Kinney]

How do you know, Jeff? You haven't seen a look on her face. And the way she gazes at her mother. Tracy.

[Jessica]

No, I'm telling you, Tracy's about to say, when you have children, she's about to say, the parents.

[Alex]

I slam her.

[Tracy Kinney]

And she's.

[Jeff]

I can't understand it until you know

[Jessica]

that she's trying to bite her tongue. But she wants to say, if you

[Jeff]

were a parent, you'd understand. Tracy, I know where you're coming from. I get. My dog doesn't like the vet.

[Tracy Kinney]

Do not compare Sasha and babysitter dogs.

[Jeff]

And when you pull. And when we pull into the parking lot with Sasha, like, she knows where she's going and she looks at me and I'm like, you know, so I just let Jessica take her.

[Tracy Kinney]

Jeff. It's not the same thing.

[Jeff]

Hey. Oh, Alex. Hey, Alex.

[Alex]

Hi.

[Jeff]

How are you?

[Jessica]

Hey.

[Alex]

Good. How are you?

[Jeff]

Good.

[Alex]

I had the same thing happen yesterday. My 4 year old and my 6 month old went for their shots yesterday. You bailed them. And my 4 year old knows what's coming. And the fear in her eyes just makes me start crying.

[Tracy Kinney]

It's so hard. It's the worst.

[Alex]

It was awful. I stayed there with her because she wants me to stay, but the six month old has no idea, so daddy stays with her. And I cried the whole time with her.

[Tracy Kinney]

Oh, I do think, though, that your kids pick up cues from you. You're crying. She's of course gonna cry. Well, that too. And that's why Scott last time told me to go in the hall too. Cause he's like, she needs you. You know, she needs you to be strong. She can sense that you're scared, so you need to go on the other, you know, you need to leave the room so that she's calm about it. But then I was just crushed afterwards because I felt like when my baby needed me most, I abandoned her. So, you know, two days ago, she got her four month shots. And, you know, we walked in, Scott came with me, and the nurse said, I've got the chair ready for you right out here.

[Jeff]

And I'm like, outside, you're that mom?

[Tracy Kinney]

I'm like, no, I. The hell you didn't need it. This time I'm gonna stay by her side. So, you know, we went through with the entire doctor's appointment and then, you know, we were waiting for the nurse to come in, and she was laying there on the crinkly paper and nothing but a diaper, just all happy as can be.

[Jeff]

And I made Scott thinking, this is crinkly paper. This is the most awesome day of my life.

[Alex]

Paper crinkles, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle.

[Tracy Kinney]

So I actually made Scott stand away from her. And I was the one that stood right by her head and I held her hand and the nurse came in and I just bit my lip and I let it happen. And all three shots, and she screamed and she wailed and I picked her up, but I made it through it. Good job, Tracy. Good job, Tracy. Do you feel better about this experience even though she still cried? Yeah, much better. Because of course, I mean, she still loves me just as much and I've learned my lesson and I was there.

[Jessica]

Well, you think so? But when she's in therapy, you know, 18 years, she'd be like, oh, those booster shots.

[Jeff]

Have you noticed any hatred in her eyes since then?

[Tracy Kinney]

She's still loves me just as much and don't put a complex in my head.

[Jeff]

Do you think she would love you? Like, let's say you weren't breastfeeding her and there was really nothing she could get out of you, and you're just the person who, you know, what?

[Tracy Kinney]

Six month shots. You're coming with us.

[Jeff]

The bircha.