The Bert Show – "Vault: We Can't Believe This Haunted House Audio"

Date: December 23, 2025
Host: Bert (Birch), with Melissa, Jeff, and guests
Guest: Bill (Homeowner, from Douglasville)

Episode Overview

This episode dives into spine-chilling listener tales with a focus on one Atlanta-area home’s haunting. Bill, the homeowner, calls in to recount terrifying paranormal happenings which he’s documented in photos and audio. The Bert Show team plays real audio clips from Bill's collection and interviews him in-depth about his experiences, the history of the house, and how his family copes. The tone is a lively mix of skeptical curiosity, fear, and fascinated humor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bill’s Haunted House: The Backstory

• Bill, living in Douglasville, claims extraordinary hauntings in his home—and in his neighborhood.
• He emailed The Bert Show with audio files and photographs, now shared on the show’s website.
• The Bert Show team was initially unable to decipher all the supposed supernatural occurrences in the photos but describes a range of orbs, unusual lights, and “faces” which become creepier with close inspection.
  • Quote:
    "If you zoomed in and it's pointed out to you, you can see the area where you can make out some of the scary faces."
    — Jeff [03:16]

2. Audio Evidence & Listener Reactions

• Bill sets up recorders while the family is out, capturing inexplicable noises.
• The team plays particularly disturbing audio:
  • Apparent voices, including a child screaming “Mommy,” with no one present in the house.
    Quote:
    "If this is me, the first thing that happens like that, I'm out. I'm gone. For sale sign. Leaving."
    — Host (Birch) [04:39]

3. Daily Life Among Spirits

• Bill describes living with hauntings as “getting used to it” but admits some events are deeply unsettling.
• Paranormal activity fluctuates—days of dormancy broken by bursts of intense events, like footsteps, appliances switching on/off, or physical sensations (objects vibrating, sheets tugged off at night).
• Bill’s dogs react fearfully, sometimes barking or even urinating in terror.
• Parents minimize the truth for their kids, who still occasionally witness events like sheets being pulled or seeing shadow figures.
  • Quote:
    "They can have the house. I would not have kids in that house."
    — Melissa [04:45, 04:56]

4. History & Possible Explanations

• Bill recounts researching the house and land:
  • Original house built in 1879, demolished in the 1950s.
  • At least two children and their mother died there in the 1800s; at least eight deaths (some suicides and natural causes) in the immediate neighborhood over the past 20 years.
  • Neighboring houses are also reportedly haunted, with one exorcism recently performed.
• Bill and his wife have both directly heard childlike voices, such as a girl singing or crying out, with others captured on both regular audio and VCR.
  • Quote:
    "A lot of times you hear it with your regular ears... we've actually heard her say 'help Mommy.'"
    — Bill (Homeowner) [08:24]

5. Specific Phenomena

• Physical events:
  • Dresser and bed visibly vibrating for minutes at a time, witnessed and recorded (audio played).
  • Photos showing orbs, mist, and even apparitional faces—some with “bonnets,” others with “red, fiery” characteristics.
  • Feeling sudden, oppressive “walls” of negative energy in certain areas.
  • Occasionally seeing what appear as “fires” in pictures taken outside, with no actual blaze detected.
  • At times, hearing “growling,” described as ape-like in size and sound, encountered at human height.
    • Quote:
      "I've had a few times where someone's come up behind me with real heavy breathing and growled at me... like a big ape, breathing real heavy."
      — Bill [08:24]

6. Skepticism and Coping

• The hosts question Bill’s credibility, and Bill offers to invite them along with professional ghost-hunters.

• Bill admits to previous experiences on his grandparents’ farm but says this house's activity is far beyond anything he’s known.

• The Bert Show hosts joke about not wanting to visit the house—even if invited—due to the high creep factor.

  • Quote:
    "Yeah, I'm not going to that house. No, you're on your own."
    — Host (Birch), Jeff [14:30, 14:44]

• On befriending spirits:

  • Bill reports "good" and "bad" energy; certain entities exude a negativity that makes him avoid parts of the house and expect sleepless nights.
  • Some pictures seem to show “dragon heads” coming out of apparent spectral fire.
    • Quote:
      "That's the gate to hell."
      — Guest, in disbelief [15:49]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Moment | |-----------|---------------------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:16 | Jeff | "If you zoomed in and it's pointed out to you, you can see the area where you can make out some of the scary faces." | | 04:39 | Host (Birch) | "If this is me, the first thing that happens like that, I'm out. I'm gone. For sale sign. Leaving." | | 08:24 | Bill (Homeowner) | "A lot of times you hear it with your regular ears... we've actually heard her say 'help Mommy.'" | | 08:24 | Bill (Homeowner) | "I've had a few times where someone's come up behind me with real heavy breathing and growled at me... like a big ape, breathing real heavy." | | 13:11 | Bill (Homeowner) | "I did, but wife didn't because growing up as a kid my grandparents house was a little active on their farm..." | | 14:44 | Host (Birch), Jeff | "Yeah, I'm not going to that house. No, you're on your own." | | 15:49 | Guest | "That's the gate to hell." |

Major Segments & Timestamps

• [01:39] Introduction and setup for Bill’s story
• [03:16] Hosts review and react to the submitted photos and audio
• [04:09 – 04:45] First set of chilling audio discussed, including “child calling for mommy”
• [05:23 – 15:57] Main interview with Bill, touching on phenomena, house history, personal experiences, and neighborhood context
• [10:14 – 11:58] Details on objects vibrating, recording evidence, and analysis of visuals (orbs, faces)
• [15:49 – 15:57] Spectral “fires,” negative energy, and culminating disbelief

Flow & Tone

The episode uses the Bert Show’s trademark blend of humor and authenticity to balance fear and intrigue. There’s a sense of casual camaraderie among the hosts and a willingness to entertain the possibility of the paranormal, but they remain cautious (and a little terrified) about getting too close to the action themselves. Listeners will feel drawn in by Bill’s matter-of-fact delivery, the hosts’ lively interjection, and the “Did you hear that?!” element of the real audio clips.

Summary

This episode stands out as a classic haunted house tale grounded in personal testimony, genuine fright, and the Bert Show’s skeptical-yet-playful approach. Bill’s Douglasville home is positioned as a hotbed of paranormal activity, with decades of tragedy, chilling evidence (audio/visual), and unexplainable events affecting daily life. The hosts express a mix of intrigue and aversion, ensuring listeners are both entertained and unsettled—all from the safety of their own, hopefully un-haunted, homes.