Vault: We Debate Over Parents Hosting 'Safe Parties' For Teens

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: We Debate Over Parents Hosting 'Safe Parties' For Teens

Release Date: April 8, 2026

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Overview

In this energetic episode, the hosts dive into a controversial trend: “safe” grad parties organized by parents, where teens can drink alcohol under adult supervision in attempts to mitigate risks like drunk driving. The cast debates the ethics, legality, and practicality of these events, drawing from personal experiences, listener call-ins, and local laws. The conversation is candid and sprinkled with the show’s trademark humor, skepticism, and open storytelling, resulting in a multifaceted examination of how adults handle teen drinking.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The North Dakota "Safe Grad" Party Case ([01:59])

• Set-Up: Parents in North Dakota planned a supervised graduation party where teens (10th grade and up) could drink pre-ordered, prepaid alcohol (beer, vodka, rum, rye). Each attendee could have up to 10 drinks. Parental consent forms were mandatory.
• Initial Shock: The cast is incredulous at the allowance of up to 10 drinks per teen.
  • “You can bring them with you also, but it's gonna be supervised here and you'll be allowed up to 10 drinks. That's it.” – Host ([03:30])
• Legal Query: Co-hosts and callers question the legality of such parties, especially with minors and high quantities of alcohol.

Legality and Parental Responsibility ([04:10], [09:20])

• Grey Areas: The hosts acknowledge discrepancies in state laws. Reports suggest in some places (potentially Georgia), minors aged 17–21 can drink at home under supervision by someone 25 or older ([09:21]).
  • “One of our officers actually did come in and tell us that if the adult is 25 or over, minors between the ages of 17 and 21 are allowed to drink in their own home.” – Caller “Amanda” ([09:21])
• Clarifications: Others argue this isn’t universally true, and a parent could face legal trouble if something went wrong—even if the drinking was supervised.

The "Cool Parent" Dilemma ([05:58], [06:29])

• Skepticism Towards 'Cool Parenting': Some cast members express distrust of adults who think they can be “the cool parent” by allowing underage drinking.
  • “For some reason I just, I think less of that parent because I just don't think you can be a cool parent.” – Co-host 2 ([05:58])
• Personal Anecdotes:
  • Co-host 3 shares a cautionary tale about being taken to the hospital from a supervised party because she drank too much, noting parental presence isn’t a guarantee of safety ([07:06]).
  • “If the parents aren't really super supervising, the kids are drinking too much and getting into trouble anyway.” – Co-host 3 ([07:34])

Pros & Cons of Supervised Drinking ([07:40]–[13:32])

• Host’s Parental Perspective: The host admits he’d consider allowing his future teen to attend such a party—but only if he deeply trusted the organizing parents ([07:40]).
• Practical Concerns: Discussion highlights the challenges for parents hosting supervised parties, including monitoring for both drinking and other behaviors (sex, sneaking out, etc.).
  • “It is staying up all night long, taking shifts and making sure that, you know, there's no sex going on upstairs or downstairs.” – Host ([13:16])
• Arguments For: Some parents prefer knowing their kids are safe and off the roads, even if they’re drinking ([11:57], [12:41]).
  • “I would much rather know that my daughter is safe at somebody's house than out drinking and having to drive home.” – Caller “Sherry” ([12:41])
• Arguments Against: Others fear this approach encourages underage drinking, teaches kids rules are flexible, and doesn’t stop rebellious behavior elsewhere.
  • “If you think that that's going to keep them from being out in the field doing, you know, having a keg party ... the very next weekend, then you're naive.” – Co-host 2 ([13:33])

Communication and Cultural Expectations ([14:15], [15:18])

• Opening the Conversation: Co-host 3 argues that allowing (and talking about) supervised drinking may at least foster open communication between parents and teens.
  • “...At least this party opens up the conversation about drinking...here are the ramifications if you don't follow the right rules.” – Co-host 3 ([14:15])
• Counterpoint—Upholding Tradition & Law: Some listeners strongly oppose any parental sanctioning of underage drinking; they argue teens will find their own boundaries without adult-enabled drinking ([14:48], [15:28]).
  • “What happened to children being children?...This is why kids get into the trouble that they get into nowadays because everything's acceptable.” – Caller “Daphne” ([14:48], [15:28])
  • “The law is 21. If you don't like that law, then teach your kids how to work to change it.” – Co-host 1 ([16:40])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can bring them with you also, but it's gonna be supervised here and you'll be allowed up to 10 drinks. That's it.” – Host ([03:30])
• “Ten alcoholic drinks.” – Co-host 2 ([03:38])
• “That many alcoholic drinks at one time is considered binge drinking...10 drinks, everybody's allowed to have 10 drinks.” – Host ([03:56])
• “Any parent can be the cool parent...for some reason I just, I think less of that parent.” – Co-host 2 ([05:58])
• “I got an ambulance called on me because I drank so much. Now at that age...all of us at 15, if you're throwing up, that's just what happens when you've had too many beers at 15, which was probably three.” – Co-host 3 ([07:06])
• “If the parent is responsible enough to actually hover over the kids. And then I can endorse it, but you really have to know the parent pretty well.” – Host ([08:29])
• “The fact that your parents didn't know. I'm gonna let you go on this, but your mom could be fired from work, she could be arrested...” – Caller ([11:06])
• “I would much rather know that my daughter is safe at somebody's house than out drinking and having to drive home.” – Caller ([12:41])
• “If you think that that's going to keep them from being out in the field...the very next weekend, then you're naive.” – Co-host 2 ([13:33])
• “...at least this party opens up the conversation about drinking.” – Co-host 3 ([14:15])
• “What happened to children being children?” – Caller ([14:48])
• “The law is 21. If you don't like that law, then teach your kids how to work to change it...” – Co-host 1 ([16:40])

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Key Timestamps

• [01:59] – Introduction of the North Dakota supervised grad party example
• [03:56] – Concerns about binge drinking and legality
• [05:58] – Hosts discuss “cool parent” syndrome
• [07:06] – Co-host personal story: supervised party gone wrong
• [08:13] – Host’s take as a parent: trusting other parents
• [09:21] – Caller explains a possible legal loophole in Georgia
• [10:39] – Intern Jo shares personal experience: parents unaware, party shut down by police
• [12:41] – Parent caller shares her “safety first” approach
• [13:33] – Debate over whether supervised parties stop rebellious teen behavior
• [14:15] – Co-host on how open discussions help teens
• [14:48] – Caller pushback: “Let kids be kids,” stay firm on the law
• [16:04] – Host’s reflection on parental modeling and consequences

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Takeaway

The episode lands without firm consensus, exposing the complexities of parental choices around underage drinking. The cast and callers agree that "10 drinks per teen" is universally unsafe, but the broader question of supervised parties splits the group. Some feel these events offer safer alternatives and conversation opportunities; others insist any adult-sanctioned underage drinking is misguided or illegal. The show’s authentic approach brings nuance and real-world messiness to the issue, making it essential listening for parents and teens alike.

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Transcript

[Host]

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[Host]

Visit borhearst.com you're on the Birch Show. All right, let me give you the details about this party and then we'll forget about the details of this party and we'll talk more broadly. So there are a bunch of parents up in North Dakota and they want to hold a safe grad party. And here's their deal. You know, you've heard of these before where, you know, there's always the quote unquote cool parent on the block, whatever that allows. Yeah, Melissa's got a. She's gonna take a hard stand on this. She has for years. There's always the cool quote unquote parent on the block that will allow kids to drink alcohol under their supervision. And the theory here obviously is that it's safe so long as there's an adult around and they're watching everybody because they're gonna drink on the streets anyway. And rather than get into a car and get into trouble that way, if they're in the house, then the adults can take a look at them and make sure everything'. Well, this one group up in North Dakota wants to make it a little bit bigger than that. They want to have a safe grad party. And the graduates who are planning to attend the drinking party had to submit a form and their parents had to sign it in advance of the party. The graduates had to pre order and prepay for the alcohol that they were going to drink. And the party was going to take place from 9pm to 2am the graduates and their guests have to be in the 10th grade or higher. So it's not just for the grat. For the actual graduates. You can bring some friends with you if you want.

[Co-host 1]

13 year olds, that's 15 and 16.

[Host]

15 and 16? Is that what 10th grade is?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

So you can bring them with you also, but it's gonna be supervised here and you'll be allowed up to 10 drinks. That's it.

[Co-host 2]

10 alcoholic drinks.

[Host]

10 drinks? Yeah. The drinks include beer, vodka, rum and rye.

[Caller 1]

What?

[Host]

I am not making this up, y'. All.

[Advertiser]

I can't even drink 10.

[Co-host 2]

Wow, 10 drinks.

[Co-host 3]

And you're a professional.

[Co-host 1]

I know you do that for a living, sir.

[Host]

The president of MAD obviously is having a big time problem with this. She said that many alcoholic drinks at one time is considered binge drinking. The definition of BINGE Drinking is five or more drinks, but 10 drinks, everybody's allowed to have 10 drinks.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Co-host 3]

Regardless of whether, I mean, they get the parents permission or not, it's still illegal, right?

[Host]

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know how they're getting around that sometimes. Yeah, you ask me questions.

[Co-host 3]

Alcohol to a minor is illegal.

[Host]

I don't know in this community what the details are and how they got the okay on it, but they are planning on holding this safe grad party. So let's take the 10 drinks part out of it. Because obviously, I mean you're taught when you're talking 10 drinks, you're talking puking drunk.

[Co-host 2]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Co-host 1]

And addressing the legalities of it because I believe this came up. We've talked about this on the air before and maybe I'm totally wrong, but somebody called up to say that in Georgia you can serve alcoholic drinks to a minor in your own home. If the guardian is present or something like that, somebody will call up.

[Co-host 3]

Is it considered like a private club that you have a membership to or something like that?

[Co-host 1]

There's some whatever that people were calling up to say. I remember them justifying it. And maybe it wasn't in Georgia, but somewhere in the country there was this law that whatever.

[Host]

And they're like, I think that's how

[Co-host 3]

they justify it it with celebrities, underage celebrities that go to clubs because the clubs are considered like private membership places. So they can let someone in that's under 21.

[Host]

But this would be a private hall.

[Co-host 3]

I'm not serving alcohol part.

[Co-host 2]

I would like the form at that party I'm sure had something. I mean because they somehow found a loophole wherever this party is. But still.

[Host]

Yeah, let's take out the 10 drinking thing. 10 drinks thing, because that's not even debatable. I mean there's nobody that's gonna say ten drinks. That's fine. But. But just the theory of having a safe grad party and having all these students there under adult supervision. Again, look, yeah, they're gonna get drunk, but you know, would you rather em, get drunk in some field somewhere and then drive home or would you rather have a whole bunch of adults there going, okay, I'm watching what's going on.

[Co-host 2]

I guess my issue in the past we've talked about is that one particular parent, you know what I mean? Like the cool parent theory. Cause I just don't buy into that. Any parent can be the cool parent. Like when you're trying to understand a teenager's perspective and you can. They can they come talk to me, you know, and they. And they can drink around me. And I, for some reason I just, I think less of that parent because I just don't think you can be a cool parent. But I also understand the concept. Well, if they're going to drink, I'd rather them not get killed at 18 on the road. I don't know.

[Caller 1]

I don't know.

[Co-host 3]

I have two different perspectives on it. When I was a teenager we had a Halloween party and it was at a home where it was one of those parents that said, I'd rather you come here. They had a big house and then a pool house out in the back. Right. So all the teenagers went to the pool house. The mom knew that there was alcohol there, but she wasn't there. She was just in the bigger house and let all the teenagers be in the pool party house. And some of us drank so much that they ended up, like, calling an ambulance, right? I got an ambulance called on me because I drank so much. Now at that age, I was like, probably, how do we know each other

[Co-host 2]

for seven or eight years? And this is the first time you talk about that?

[Co-host 3]

I don't know. Maybe I'm just okay to admit my faults these days.

[Host]

But she graduated from therapist school last week, so now she's up.

[Co-host 3]

But, yeah, my friends got so worried that I was sick. And they're also 15, so they don't, I guess, didn't realize that, you know, all of us at 15, if you're throwing up, that's just what happens when you've had too many beers at 15, which was probably three.

[Co-host 1]

Right.

[Advertiser]

You know what I mean?

[Co-host 1]

That you vomiting in your shoes and flirting with every guy is just standard issue drinking for you.

[Co-host 3]

What do you mean? Nowadays?

[Co-host 1]

Every day, all the time.

[Co-host 2]

But she's legal now.

[Co-host 3]

So what I'm saying is that if the parents aren't really super supervising, the kids are drinking too much and getting into trouble anyway.

[Host]

I think as a parent from, like, I understand it when Hayden gets to the age where if somebody, one of the parents wants to throw one of these parties, for me, the determining factor is knowing the parent.

[Co-host 3]

Do I know that parent? Do I know they're really gonna be there hanging out with everyone? Because then on the flip side of it, I went to parties underage in high school, whatever, where there weren't any parents there. Everybody stayed out way past curfew and drank way too much and then drove. So, like. So I don't know which one. Which is the better of two evils to have a parent there if something bad happens or to let them go and figure it out and get in trouble on their own.

[Host]

I don't know. As a parent now, honestly, I think I would probably endorse it if the parent was responsible. Just knowing what. I'm the same as you. I should be dead 15 times from how many times I drank and I drove in high school, got in the

[Co-host 3]

car with somebody else who had been drinking.

[Host]

Right. You know, and if the parent is responsible enough to actually hover over the kids. And then I can endorse it, but you really have to know the parent pretty well.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, but.

[Co-host 2]

And also don't believe the kids are gonna party like they would with a parent hovering over them, and then they leave that party and then they go party again anyway.

[Host]

Well, I think the rule is that if you're starved, you're staying, but then you have to watch them all night long, because then you're talking about all sorts of other stuff going on all night long.

[Co-host 2]

And then if they ever get in trouble, I guess also an argument, if they get in trouble anywhere else for drinking too much outside of that party and get in trouble, they're like, well, you can't. You can't punish me now. Cause you knew I was drinking because you let me drink at your party.

[Host]

You can't draw that line, though, for your kid and go, look, yeah, I let you drink, but it was under parent supervision. So to me, there could be a difference. There could be an argument with your kid on it.

[Co-host 2]

I don't know. I don't know how the kid would interpret that. Hey, Amanda.

[Co-host 1]

Good morning.

[Caller 1]

Hi. Good morning. I just wanted to call and let you know on that Georgia law. I work for SunTrust bank in Henry county. And one of our officers actually did come in and tell us that if the adult is 25 or over, minors between the ages of 17 and 21 are allowed to drink in their own home. As long as the adult is 25 or over.

[Co-host 2]

In their own home.

[Caller 1]

In their own home, yes, as long as. And it didn't. They didn't specify whether it was your own children or not. But as long as the adult is 25 or over, then it's. It's fine, really. Wow. In their own home, huh?

[Host]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

In their own home.

[Co-host 1]

Just for future calls to the station, you don't always have to identify your employer. I'm sure SunTrust is like, yeah, represent Henry County.

[Co-host 2]

What's the SunTrust in Henry County?

[Host]

Right.

[Co-host 1]

SunTrust, Henry County. What's up? Drinking your house. What's up? SunTrust.

[Host]

Hey, Kim. Safe grad parties, huh? Safe grad parties.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. That is actually legal.

[Host]

It is legal.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. When I was in eighth grade, we actually had an officer come into our school and to talk about, you know, drugs and underage drinking and everything. And it's legal. As long as you have your parents permission, you're under adult supervision in a home. Not out in a bar or anything like that. You have to be in your home.

[Host]

Okay. Intern Joanna has something to say.

[Caller 2]

I'm Going to call that. That is not true. Because when I was in high school, I had the bright idea to throw a party at my house with kegs and beer. And my parents were home, and my parents didn't know about it because we had a basement and everyone just came in through the side. I said I was having a party.

[Host]

How many people did you have at this party?

[Caller 2]

Oh, I probably. Well, they knew that was having a party. They didn't know that the beer was there because I snuck it in when they weren't there. And my parents had sex.

[Co-host 1]

That right there is bold, serious.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, well, my parents a little different. We got to drink at home, but it was like a glass of wine here and there. But anyway, so I had kegs, I had beer. My parents were upstairs, they were sleeping. The cops showed up, and everyone had to leave because it's illegal. You're underage. Whether your parents know it or not, it's illegal. And my mother could have gone to jail for it. And she could have gotten a lot of trouble. She works for the school. She could have gotten fired from her job. There's so many things. Because the cop told us. He's like, the fact that your parents didn't know. I'm gonna let you go on this, but your mom could be fired from work, she could be arrested, and, you know, Lord knows what happened to you later when she gets back from jail.

[Co-host 1]

And you will get an ass beating like you've never experienced before.

[Host]

All right. Outside of the Georgia thing. Sherry, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 1]

Good morning. How are you guys doing?

[Co-host 2]

Good.

[Caller 1]

I am one of the parents that I don't believe in partying with your kids. I have family members that actually partied with their kids. I don't believe in that. But I do think that it's a better idea to have your kids, friends drink in your home. I let my daughter go to parties where they drink at the people's houses. The parents are home, they usually have a list of the names of people that are invited. And the father actually stands there. And if your name's not on the list, you don't get to stay. You don't get to come in, and he also takes your keys. And the girls sleep upstairs and the guys sleep downstairs. Unless you're gay. If you're gay, the guy can sleep upstairs. Because that's what happened to the last party.

[Co-host 1]

Unless the guy's gay.

[Co-host 2]

Unless he claimed he was gay.

[Co-host 1]

Right.

[Caller 1]

We all know this one was. Yeah, I think it's a great idea. Because growing up, I was always a designated driver. But I would much rather know that my daughter is safe at somebody's house than out drinking and having to drive home. Yeah, I sort of feel the same way.

[Co-host 2]

I really do.

[Co-host 1]

You know, I love that rule, too, about the. The gay guy gets to sleep upstairs. Cause I'm Adam Lambert at that point,

[Host]

I'm like, oh, really?

[Co-host 1]

Really? I get to go up there? Seriously, who wants to do a musical?

[Co-host 2]

Because let me tell you something, if he's really gay, he's not telling you he's gay. Cause he wants to sleep downstairs.

[Caller 1]

Right.

[Host]

My only problem with this is, I mean, as the parent, really have to hover for 24 hours. It's not only about the alcohol, but it is staying up all night long, taking shifts and making sure that, you know, there's no sex going on upstairs or downstairs.

[Co-host 3]

Nobody's sneaking their keys and leaving.

[Caller 2]

So what.

[Co-host 2]

So is it just for the. Or is the argument just for a graduation party or party in general? Because I think that. I think the idea that a parent does this and it would deter your kids from being rebellious outside is naive. Because my feeling is always that a teenager is a teenager, and they always want to rebel. And so just because you have a safe party one night in which you allow them to drink, and you're hovering over them and you watch them 24 7, if you think that that's going to keep them from being out in the field doing, you know, having a keg party out in the field or somewhere the very next weekend, then you're naive. I think you're right, you know, and so that's why I think there's the argument for some parents, like, well, then by giving this safe party, are you showing them you're giving them permission to do all these things? Well.

[Co-host 3]

And I think the one thing that is positive about it, though, is that it says you can talk about it with your kids. Because, I mean, my parents were so very strict, I didn't even feel like I could talk to them about drinking. So it was always something that was, like, sort of sneaky or whatever. Like, I feel like at least this party opens up the conversation about drinking. And it's not just like, no, it's bad. You're not gonna do it. Never, ever. It's like, okay, if you're going to do it, here are the ramifications that you need to follow, you know? Or, here are the ramifications from it if you don't follow the right rules.

[Host]

Hey, Daphne. Good morning.

[Caller 1]

Good morning. How Are you all right?

[Host]

What's up?

[Caller 1]

I'm listening to this radio station, I'm like, oh my God. I mean these, the opinions. What happened to children being children? What happened to I'm 27, I have a daughter, there's no way you're going to have a party at my house and there's going to be alcohol there and I'm going to condone it. I understand that children will be children, but okay, all kids have at one point in their life gone out, you know, you've had a drink, your parents didn't know. What happened to kids being kids?

[Host]

I'm not really sure what your point is.

[Co-host 2]

You're saying teenagers be teenagers. Is that what you're saying?

[Co-host 1]

Like sneak, like sneak a couple beers out of your parents house and drink them in the woods near exactly what

[Caller 1]

I'm going to tell you. When I turned 21 years old, I partied like there was no tomorrow. So I'm like a 16 year old at someone's house drinking. Let me tell you, my mom, she was the queen of red light parties. Never. I laid my hand on my first alcoholic beverage when I was 18 at a party. That was the one beer that I had. Didn't have another one until I was 18. But now I feel like this is why kids get into the trouble that they get into nowadays because everything's acceptable and I just don't think that's right.

[Host]

Yeah, I think there's two ways to look at it is like don't. Melissa raises a really good point also is if you set the example inside the house, I mean, what can you say if they're drinking outside, right?

[Caller 2]

I mean the kids are going to do it anyways.

[Co-host 3]

It's going to happen anyways.

[Co-host 2]

Peer pressure. It's going to happen with it, with or without the parties. The parties don't keep it from happening. It doesn't keep your teenager from being a teenager. And I don't know, I don't know, I just, I think that the idea of being, you know what, we're now open adults and we're cool, that means our kids are going to behave better. I think that's totally naive and it

[Co-host 1]

does take away some of the

[Caller 1]

charm

[Co-host 1]

of sneaking a couple beers out of your parents fridge and drinking them and people, oh, what if they drive? Well, you know what, teach your kid not to. And then when you turn 21 then you can drink. Like why do you have to be so spoiled that oh, you graduated high school so now you can drink. You can't. The law is 21. If you don't like that law, then teach your kids how to work to change it back to. What was it, 19?

[Co-host 2]

It was 18 at one time.

[Host]

I think we can all agree though, even at this party though, like allowing them to have 10 drinks, it's totally insane. You're on the Birch Show At Energy

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