Vault: We finally spoke to the 9:45am mystery man!

Summary

---

The Bert Show

Vault: We finally spoke to the 9:45am mystery man!
Original Air Date: July 1, 2026

---

Main Theme

This episode centers on an unfolding neighborhood mystery in Decatur: the "9:45am mystery man," who has been making daily five-minute visits to a specific townhome, always at the same time, behaving secretively and raising the suspicions of a local resident (and, in turn, the Bert Show team). The show dispatches Frankie, a team member, to conduct some investigative footwork and finally speak with the man to get to the bottom of this strange routine.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap of the Mystery (01:02–02:22)

• A woman in Decatur notices a man pulling up every weekday at 9:45am, entering a townhome for five minutes, then leaving.
• The man parks away from the home, walks over, checks if he’s being watched, goes through the back, and leaves promptly.
• He wears a leather jacket in, removes it when returning to his car.
• This has been happening consistently all winter, Monday through Friday.

"He comes in at the same time every morning, parks, walks, goes in for five minutes, leaves, and then gets back in his car and drives away."
— Host 2 (01:30)

2. Frankie’s Encounter with the Mystery Man (02:22–03:48)

• Frankie stakes out the townhome in the rain, using an umbrella for cover.
• He approaches the man after he returns from his routine.
• Frankie’s cover story: He’s looking to buy in the neighborhood.
• The man claims to live in the neighborhood but is vague and standoffish:
  • Does not offer assistance or suggest he’s a real estate agent.
  • Offers no helpful information on available homes.
  • Is described by Frankie as “kind of shady about the whole thing.”
• Frankie notices a real estate lockbox on the townhome’s front door, which raises further questions.

"He was kind of standoffish and kind of shady about the whole thing."
— Frankie (03:26)

"After he left, I walked by the house that he walks into, and there is a real estate lockbox on the front door."
— Frankie (03:43)

3. Team Theories & Back-and-Forth (03:51–05:15)

• Surprise at learning the house has a lockbox, but the man isn’t a realtor.
• Frankie confirms: The man goes in through the back; front lockbox remains untouched.
• Frankie spotted furniture/tables inside, meaning it's not vacant.
• Theories from the team include:
  • The man is a previous owner, possibly after a foreclosure, wanting to retrieve his possessions.
  • Maybe he's waiting for a door left unlocked after a showing.
  • Maybe he gets mail there from an old address.
• Hosts agree something feels off: "he's doing something he's not supposed to be doing."

"Every day. He wouldn't just show up for five minutes if he was trying to get his stuff out."
— Frankie (04:48)

"We have busted him, but we don't know what we've busted him for."
— Host 2 (05:51)

4. Next Steps & Cliffhanger (05:05–05:44)

• Frankie plans to stake out again, hoping to gather more info.
• The Bert Show plans to get both Frankie and Whitney (the initial caller) back on air for follow-up.
• Anticipation for further investigation next week.

"If you could do it this weekend, we'd like to have you back on Monday... Motivation for Burt to feel healthy and come back in, because this is driving him nuts."
— Host 1 (05:19)

---

Memorable Quotes

• “All I know is this guy’s doing something he’s not supposed to be doing.”
  — Host 2 (05:44)
• “He was kind of standoffish and kind of shady about the whole thing.”
  — Frankie (03:26)
• “We have busted him, but we don’t know what we’ve busted him for.”
  — Host 2 (05:51)

---

Important Timestamps

• 01:02 — The team recaps the mysterious daily visits and sets up the investigative premise.
• 02:22 — Frankie’s account of the stakeout and his direct interaction with the mystery man.
• 03:43 — Frankie spots the lockbox, deepening suspicions.
• 04:31 — Team posits theories about foreclosure and retrieval of personal items.
• 05:44 — The crew shares closing thoughts and anticipates further investigation.

---

Style & Tone

The tone is conversational, humorous, and filled with the signature banter and speculation that defines The Bert Show. The hosts riff off each other while keeping listeners looped in, encouraging audience engagement and building suspense around the neighborhood enigma.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode dives into a quirky real-life caper that’s left both The Bert Show team and a Decatur neighborhood mystified. After months of odd, clockwork appearances by a secretive man, the show’s own Frankie interacts with him, uncovers only more oddities (including a mysterious lockbox), and promises further sleuthing. The question lingers: Is this merely a case of misplaced mail, a foreclosed owner, or something shadier? Tune in Monday for the next chapter!

---

Transcript

[Frankie]

Hey, everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long, I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Commercial Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[McDonald's Promoter]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon refresher and the mango pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the sprite berry blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Commercial Announcer]

Refreshers contain caffeine. You're on the Burt show.

[Host 1]

The story that everybody's been talking about over the past few days is this townhome situation out in Decatur. Woman lives in a townhome and there's a guy that pulls up every day, spends five minutes in the community. He doesn't park in the most convenient spot. She can't see where he goes. She thinks it's this one townhome. She doesn't know if he enters or not, but it's a five minute visit, same time every single day.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Well, again, and we tried to juggle around, we tried to get the interns to go out, but our interns are chickens.

[Host 2]

Well, the thing is, I mean, to be more specific, if you did not hear, didn't hear the original replay, is the fact that this guy would come at the same time, but he would not park at the townhome. He would park somewhere else. He would walk to the townhome. He would kind of look around to see if anybody was watching him. Then he would go behind this row of townhomes to go to this one particular townhouse. And the thought I understood was that he goes into the home for five minutes and then he leaves. And it's like clockwork. He comes in at the same time every morning, parks, walks, goes in for five minutes, leaves, and then gets back in his car and drives away.

[Host 3]

And he wears that leather jacket in. So he wears the jacket going in and then takes the jacket off when he comes back out to his car.

[Host 2]

And she said that she just started noticing this pattern because he's been doing it all winter long. So this has been months that he's Done the same routine Monday through Friday every single day. So we were curious, and we sent Frankie out there to go and just be there when he shows up to maybe strike a conversation with him.

[Host 1]

And Frankie did have a conversation with him.

[Host 2]

He did.

[Host 1]

Frankie is on hold with us. Hey, Frankie, how are you?

[Frankie]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[Host 2]

Hey.

[Host 1]

Frankie had a conversation with him, and the story will continue on Monday.

[Host 2]

What?

[Host 1]

Listen to this. Listen to what happened.

[Frankie]

Okay, so he pulled in at 9:45 on the dot, just like every. Every day. I waited till he walked behind the house, and then I got out. And because it was raining, I had an umbrella, so I pretended I was looking at the front of the townhouses where he parked.

[Host 2]

Mm.

[Frankie]

And when he came back up, I, you know, asked him. I was like, excuse me, do you live here? And he said yes. He said he lives in the neighborhood. And I was like, I was looking for a. To buy a townhome in this area and was wondering if, you know, if there are any townhomes here for sale. And he said. He said, yeah, I think so. But he wasn't sure which ones were available or which, you know, which ones were vacant or not. And so I kept drilling him with the questions, trying to figure out who he was, why he was there, but it pretty much stopped it. He wasn't a real estate agent because if I said I was looking for a home, then, you know, you would think that he would say that, oh, I'm a real estate agent. Here's my card. Nothing like that. He was kind of stand buffish and kind of. Kind of shady about the whole thing. And so we had our conversation. That was pretty much the end of it. And after he left, I walked by the house that he walks into, and there is a real estate lockbox on the front door.

[Host 1]

What?

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Host 2]

Weird.

[Host 1]

So he's not a real estate agent. There's no houses for sale yet. The house he goes into has lockbox

[Host 3]

on it, which would explain why he went through the back, but not why he went.

[Frankie]

The whole thing was just weird. So it's really. It's really bugging me. So I have planned. I'm gonna plan to do a stakeout this weekend and find out if he. If it's just a Monday through Friday or whatever. And I'm gonna find out about the house and everything else, and hopefully I'll have more information for you guys when that gets done.

[Host 2]

Huh.

[Host 4]

Now, Frankie, you said that there's stuff in the house. Like, last time you saw, like, a table and stuff in the House, Brandon.

[Frankie]

Yeah, and it's furnished house.

[Host 4]

So what if. This is just my thought. I don't know if anybody's ever said anything. What if it's been foreclosed on and he's the old owner of the house,

[Host 1]

but if it's foreclosed on, you're not allowed. So what does he just go into?

[Host 4]

He's trying to figure out how to get his stuff back.

[Host 1]

Puts his hand on the glass, maybe?

[Host 2]

No, but nobody's brought that up.

[Host 1]

It's a good point.

[Frankie]

Every day. He wouldn't just show up for five minutes if he was trying to get his stuff out.

[Host 1]

Maybe he's hoping every day that it's

[Host 4]

somebody showed the house and left, like, the door unlocked or something like that.

[Host 1]

Did you happen to notice if the lockbox. Now wouldn't make a difference? His lockbox is closed. I was gonna say if maybe he opened it.

[Frankie]

No, he goes through the back.

[Host 2]

Yeah, he can't get in the front. If he would get in the. You know, he would get the key out of the lock box.

[Host 1]

So when are you. Are you doing the stakeout thing this weekend or on Monday?

[Frankie]

I would think Monday, because we.

[Host 1]

If you could do it this weekend, we'd like to have you back on Monday. And then we'll get Whitney on, and that will be motivation for Burt to feel healthy and come back in, because this is driving him nuts, I think. More than it's even driving the gorilla's the house nuts. More. But we'll. Tracy and I will talk to you off the air, and if you want to do that, man, we're all for it.

[Frankie]

All right, cool.

[Host 2]

Huh?

[Host 1]

All right, cool. Thank you so much for all the help up to this point.

[Frankie]

Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll talk to you guys soon.

[Host 4]

All right, cool.

[Host 1]

Thanks, Frankie.

[Frankie]

All right, bye.

[Host 2]

He's. All I know is this guy's doing something he's not supposed to be doing.

[Host 3]

Yes, I think so, too. Especially if he's standoffish and going through the back in a lockbox on the house.

[Host 2]

We have busted him, but we don't know what we've busted him for.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

We got you.

[Host 2]

We got you. I don't know what it is, but we got. Is there something you need to.

[Host 3]

Bad boys, bad boys. What you going to do?

[Host 1]

That's what Frankie should have done. Is just walked up and he goes. Sir, is there something you need to tell me right now?

[Host 2]

Oh, that would have been perfect.

[Host 1]

It's going to be a lot easier if you just tell me right now rather than waiting for it all to come down, right? Maybe the maybe he got busted for a DUI and he had all of his mail sent to that house so his parents didn't find out about it. He's just going to pick up the mail.

[Commercial Announcer]

Listen, it's the Birch Show.

[Spinquest Promoter]

Happy Birthday, America. It's time to celebrate and play your favorite Las Vegas casino games by American owned spinquest.com what's better than fireworks and American pie? Hitting a blackjack in the palm of your hand and you won't lose your fingers. Over a thousand games, including slots and live dealers and $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 spinquest.com buy American players for American players, Spin Quest is

[Commercial Announcer]

a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

The 2026 FIFA World cup meal at McDonald's is underway with one of nine legendary cups in the lineup. Christian Pulisic, David Beckham, Lamine Yamal, Ronaldinho, Thierry Henry, Son Hyung Min, Alphonso Davies, Santi Jimenez and between the posts, it's Grimace. Get one of nine collectible cups with a FIFA World cup meal at participating McDonald's for a limited time while supplies last. All rights reserved. 20:26 McDonald's at FIFA World Cup 20:26

[McDonald's Promoter]

all new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Commercial Announcer]

Refreshers contain caffeine.