Vault: We Get A Dose Of Honesty From Listeners

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show – "Vault: We Get a Dose of Honesty from Listeners"

Date: December 18, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Jeff, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more)
Episode Theme:
This episode puts self-reflection at the forefront as the hosts invite fans to share their brutally honest, unfiltered perceptions of the show’s personalities. The result is a blend of comic defensiveness, awkward self-awareness, and insightful listener feedback. Hear the cast struggle (often unsuccessfully) to remain silent as they’re critiqued, roasted, and occasionally praised by their audience.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Episode Setup: Inviting Listener Honesty

[01:03 – 02:16]

• The hosts propose a rare, self-discovery-focused show: listeners call in to say what they “read between the lines” of the show and its cast.
• Key Rule: Hosts aren’t allowed to defend themselves—just listen (though this is more an aspiration than a reality).
• Quote: “We’re just listening. Your perceptions of what you see between the lines.” – Jeff [02:16]

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2. Listener Critiques, Observations & Panel Reactions

A. Perceptions of Jeff and Bert

[01:38 – 02:58]

• Ken’s feedback:
  • Jeff acts tough but is actually a softie: “Jeff is a big front. He’s really not the big ass that he presents himself to be.” [01:38]
  • Bert doesn’t give himself enough credit and tends to beat himself up over bits: “You need to take the credit.” – Ken [02:19]
• Panel mildly agrees, joking about needing to balance their personalities:
  • “I need to be more of an ass and you need to take more credit.” – David [02:51]

B. Jen vs. Lindsay: Listener Sensitivities to On-Air Dynamics

[03:01 – 04:57]

• Jennifer calls out cattiness:
  • “Every time the subject of Lindsay comes up, she [Jen] takes a stab. … I just think Jen probably is very, very catty. And… completely jealous of Lindsay.” [03:13]
• Host reactions are split; some agree Jen can be “catty,” but not necessarily jealous.
• Moments of self-awareness and humor surface:
  • “Jen has realized that she’ll always be second fiddle to Lindsay.” – Bert (mocking himself) [05:37]
  • “Not second fiddle, just second choice.” – David [05:48]

C. Lindsay’s Departure and Its Impact

[06:08 – 06:45]

• A caller claims “everybody was just sick of Lindsay when she left” [06:09]
• Panel is torn between honesty and the “no defense” rule; a lot of playful mock-responses about not being able to comment.

D. Calling Out Melissa

[06:59 – 08:05]

• Ken opines: Melissa “was burned pretty in a previous relationship by a guy. And I pick up on her being a real, real man hater because of it. And I think that’s why she’s a lesbian.” [06:59]
• Panel tries to clarify, with someone explaining that Melissa’s first experience was with a woman and “I don’t think it has anything to do with men.”
• Melissa (barely) resists defending herself, saying: “I don’t think that he’s right.” [08:18]
• Joke flies: “You’re just being catty. Lindsay wouldn’t act like that.” – Jeff, needling Melissa [08:24]

E. Feedback on Jen’s “Shallowness” and Hot Button Issues

[08:41 – 09:51]

• Ken again: “Jen seems kind of shallow… she seems to know things about, like entertainment and stuff, but things of substance... I don’t think she really knows about it.” [08:45]
• Also claims the whole show “cringes” at race discussions; “icicles drop in your studio.” [09:31]
• Panel largely silent, struggling to keep the no-defense rule, joking with “meows” and mock caddiness.

F. Meta-Commentary: Can the Hosts Really Stay Silent?

[10:22 – 11:50]

• The hosts repeatedly break rules—commenting, defending, and bickering over who’s allowed to respond.
• Self-deprecating humor about the show’s defensiveness and inability to allow true listener feedback.
• “I don’t like self discovery. I like living in my own little bubble.” – Jeff [10:48]
• “We can do that, but I think my comment work…” – Eddie (lost in the logic of who can reply) [11:25]

G. Should This Bit Ever Happen Again?

[11:43 – 14:12]

• David floats an alternative: ask the hosts to each address the “biggest misconception” about themselves.
  • “That’ll be healthy.” – Bert, joking (but maybe not) [12:12]
• The bit devolves into meta-complaints and laughter: “We’re never doing these ever again. You know what, this is destructive.” – Jeff [11:50]
• Panel debates: does the audience care about hearing this much about the hosts’ identities? (“Yes, they do!” – Ken [12:28])

H. Final Call: Listener Venting & Show Appreciation

[12:49 – 13:47]

• Listener Sherry calls with affectionate but blunt feedback:
  • “I love this show. Except for Bert. I mean, I just don’t see why...” [12:49]
  • “I don’t get enough of Melissa. Don’t get enough of Jen. And I think Jen is underappreciated. She brings light heartedness. She’s fun.” [12:59]
• Turns into a venting session idea: “Instead of read between the lines, let’s just have the vent line.” – Eddie [13:31]
• Constant playful exasperation: “Another constructive bit. Dumb idea. We’re never doing these ever again.” – Jeff [13:37]

I. Wrapping Up the Chaos

[13:54 – 14:16]

• David (joking): “They’re genius because somebody on the show gets hurt or everybody gets hurt. And you think that’s great.” [13:54]
• Eddie (meta): “People are frustrated right now because we are talking more than we allow the listeners to talk in this whole bit.” [14:04]
• Jeff: “Let’s move on. This is just moronic. Can we move on?” [14:10]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Jeff is a big front. He’s really not the big ass that he presents himself to be.” – Ken [01:38]
• “You need to take the credit.” – Ken to Bert [02:19]
• “Every time the subject of Lindsay comes up, she [Jen] takes a stab... and I just think Jen probably is very, very catty.” – Jennifer [03:13]
• “Jen has realized that she’ll always be second fiddle to Lindsay.” – Bert [05:37]
• “Melissa was burned pretty in a previous relationship by a guy... That’s why she’s a lesbian.” – Ken [06:59]
• “I don’t like self discovery. I like living in my own little bubble.” – Jeff [10:48]
• “We’re never doing these ever again. You know what, this is destructive.” – Jeff [11:50]
• “They’re genius because somebody on the show gets hurt or everybody gets hurt.” – David [13:54]
• “People are frustrated right now because we are talking more than we allow the listeners to talk in this whole bit.” – Eddie [14:04]

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Episode Structure: Timestamps by Topic

• [01:03] – Listener honesty bit announced
• [01:38] – Ken critiques Jeff and Bert
• [03:01] – Jen’s “cattiness” towards Lindsay
• [06:08] – Callers talk about Lindsay’s departure
• [06:59] – Ken calls out Melissa
• [08:41] – Ken critiques Jen’s “shallowness”
• [10:22] – Hosts struggle to stay silent
• [11:43] – Hosts debate continuing the segment
• [12:49] – Sherry’s venting call
• [13:54] – Meta-commentary on the bit’s consequences
• [14:10] – Jeff calls for an end to the segment

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Tone & Takeaways

• The Bert Show leans hard into self-deprecating humor, quick-witted banter, and meta-commentary on radio authenticity.
• The hosts, though defensive, ultimately illustrate their chemistry—bickering, joking, and handling awkward truths (sometimes more gracefully than others).
• Listeners’ brutally honest takes spark both meaningful insights and comedic gold, making “self-discovery” more entertaining than reflective.

---

A must-listen for fans who enjoy the chaos that ensues when the fourth wall is not just broken, but obliterated.

Transcript

[Show Announcer]

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[Bert Weiss]

The Burt show.

[Jeff]

Time for some Burt show self discovery.

[David]

Now to the person who called up and said, I can read between the lines on the Burt show and I can tell they got nothing right now, so they're talking about themselves. That's not true.

[Jeff]

Oh, well, not entirely. Not entirely. Here's what we want. We're asking you if you've been a long term listener of the show, when you read between the lines, what do you hear that we're not saying?

[Eddie]

Right.

[Jeff]

Like you see through the smoke screen. Morning. All the hits. Q100.

[Ken]

Good morning, everybody. How's it going, TC?

[Eddie]

Hey, TC what's up?

[Ken]

Hey, what's going on?

[Jeff]

What's going on, dude?

[Ken]

Couple of things. The first thing that I pick up on the most is that Jeff is a big front. He's really not the big ass that he presents himself to be.

[Jeff]

You're wrong. Okay.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Part of this is that we're not allowed to agree or disagree or debate.

[Eddie]

Right. I thought we were not answering. We're just.

[Jeff]

Right, we're just listening.

[David]

You guys can comment about me because I certainly want to comment about you, but I don't think we can defend like, I can't say no. I am an ass. I don't think we can get defensive about what people observe about us because these are just observations.

[Jeff]

Right?

[Eddie]

Exactly. That's why we're not saying anything.

[Jeff]

Your perceptions of what you see between the line. Okay.

[Ken]

The other observation is, Bert, you do not give yourself enough credit. There were a lot of times that bits would go by on his show and I mean we think that, that funny as hell. And it's like you just beat yourself up about it so bad. And, and that's, that's what I get by listening to you when you start to apologize, get all, you know, oh, well, you know, we didn't do such a great job here there, you know, but you need to take the credit.

[David]

Okay, I'd agree with that.

[Melissa]

I would totally agree with that.

[Jeff]

All right, so we. I need to take more credit and just not the ass that he portrays himself out to be.

[Jennifer]

That's right.

[David]

So I need to be more of an ass and you need to take more credit.

[Jeff]

You need to take more credit for not being an ass.

[Bert Weiss]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Good morning. All the hits. Q100.

[Jennifer]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

Hi.

[Jennifer]

I see something in Jen that I don't know whether anybody else has noticed.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

And I love Jen, sweetheart, but here.

[Jeff]

Comes the big guy.

[David]

Set the ball on the tee.

[Jennifer]

Every time the subject of Lindsay comes up, she takes a stab. And sometimes it's under her breath. And none of y' all react to it and think we don't hear it, but she stabs at Lindsay. And I just think Jen probably is very, very catty. And I don't know what happened between her and Lindsay, but she is completely jealous of Lindsay.

[Jeff]

Now, there might be two different things we're talking about here. Are you talking about Catt Lindsay or caddy in general?

[Jennifer]

I think in general. But it comes out on the show towards Lindsay.

[Jeff]

Okay. I would agree with the cattiness part of it.

[Eddie]

I think there's a part of disagreeing.

[Jeff]

Yeah, we're allowed to talk about the person. They're not allowed to comment on themselves. Yes. I think that Jenna's caddy dangerous.

[Eddie]

I mean, the smell of us having a coming commenting.

[Jeff]

But no, I don't think it's towards Lindsay.

[Jennifer]

Well, if you'll remember, I would agree with that. If you'll remember, there was a specific high profile person in Atlanta that was pursuing l a great deal. And y' all would never say who it was. And then after Lindsey was gone and you all were talking about a certain high profile person in Atlanta quitting his position with a certain sports team and he was possibly moving to Atlanta, moving to Florida. And Jen under her breath goes Lindsey.

[Jeff]

I don't recall.

[Eddie]

I think the only comment I have since we're allowed to comment now is that I think sometimes when Jen is in a position of reaction is because the subject of Lindsay is used as a tool against her by the guys. So I think sometimes they're just trying to get a reaction out of Jen. And I think she holds herself pretty. Pretty high standard because a lot of times it's used as a. As a softball thrown to her that they expect her to head out.

[Jeff]

And this again goes back to our conversation with. You can't really rib men. Can't rib women the way that we can rib each other, especially about our job.

[Eddie]

No.

[Jennifer]

Well, I just want.

[Ken]

I want Jen to know.

[Jennifer]

I want Jen to know that, Jen, you are your own person. There is no competition with Lindsey. Lindsey was Lindsey. Jen is Jen. And we like you both the way you are, and there's no competition.

[David]

Even though you are never on the Real World and you don't get recognized everywhere you go.

[Bert Weiss]

Yeah, I'd like to agree with the caller. I think Jen has realized that she'll always be second fiddle to Lindsey.

[Eddie]

See, that's the Yeezy. That's exactly. That justifies what I just said.

[David]

Not second fiddle, just second choice.

[Eddie]

And then they have to outdo each other. That's the other comment from Jeff. So see.

[Jeff]

Hey, Jennifer, you're on all the hits. Q100. What do you see when you read between the lines on this show?

[Caller]

Hello. You know what?

[Jeff]

I picked up Rob. Hold on, Rob. My bad. Morning, Jennifer.

[Jennifer]

Hey, everybody.

[Eddie]

Good morning.

[Jennifer]

I think it's not only that Jen didn't like Lindsay. I think everybody didn't. I think it was the whole. Lindsay's in a real world, and it was overplayed and overrated. And it seemed like everybody was just sick of Lindsay when she left.

[Jeff]

She was wearing on us pretty thin.

[David]

We can't talk. We can't comment.

[Jeff]

She's all right.

[Bert Weiss]

I'll speak for Bert.

[Eddie]

We cannot not react.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[David]

I have to not react.

[Bert Weiss]

I'll speak for Burt Burke. You speak for me.

[Jeff]

I just feel like being honest about that.

[Bert Weiss]

Yeah, I'll speak for you and you speak for me. Yeah, I couldn't stand her. Bert Weiss says.

[Jeff]

There was a chemistry problem. Okay.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, you could definitely tell.

[Caller]

All right.

[Jeff]

Thank you for calling.

[Jennifer]

You're welcome.

[Bert Weiss]

Hazmat crew couldn't have fixed that chemistry problem.

[Eddie]

Stopped.

[Bert Weiss]

I can say that comment.

[David]

I'm coming for all of you if you can't.

[Eddie]

It's not fair.

[Jeff]

Eddie, good morning.

[Ken]

Yes, I read between the lines that Melissa was burned pretty in a previous relationship by a guy. And I pick up on her being a real, real man hater because of it. And I think that's why she's a lesbian.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[David]

I would agree with that.

[Melissa]

No way.

[Jeff]

You can't agree with that.

[Bert Weiss]

She hates us breeders.

[Jeff]

It's not a natural thing. She just got burned a man so badly one time that she decided that, hey, I'm gonna sleep with women instead.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Ken]

Because I can recall several times where she just bashes men. Just. Just makes comments, little subtle comments sometimes.

[David]

Kind of like Ken does About Lindsey.

[Ken]

There you go.

[Melissa]

Okay, since Melissa can't defend herself on that comment, I have to say something that you. We always talk about how our favorite conversation is sex. It is off the air too. Melissa's first experience was with a woman, and I don't think it has anything to do with men. Why she likes women. So just have to go ahead and set that.

[David]

You can't do that. You can't defend. You can comment on it, but I don't think you can.

[Caller]

Yeah, you can.

[Jeff]

I don't think we can defend somebody else. The record now shows we shouldn't be able to do that.

[David]

You can't defend.

[Eddie]

Now that you said something.

[Melissa]

Now that I said something to defend you, we can't comment.

[Eddie]

No, that doesn't make any sense.

[Jeff]

That's not what we're talking about.

[Melissa]

That's. My comment is that I don't think that I. I don't. I don't think that he's right.

[Bert Weiss]

He's disagreeing with the caller.

[Jeff]

You're just being catty. Lindsay wouldn't act like that. Hey, David, you're on all this ridiculous.

[Eddie]

We never should do anything so out of control. So self serving.

[David]

Nobody's called about Bert yet, so he's like, I'm climbing the circus.

[Jeff]

I'm totally clean. Hey, David.

[Jen]

Go ahead.

[Ken]

Morning, Bert.

[Jeff]

How you doing? Good, dude. How are you?

[Ken]

I'm great. Hey, two things about the show, two hidden things I kind of see come to the surface. One, Jen seems kind of shallow. And what I mean by that is she seems to know things about, like entertainment and stuff, but things of substance, politics, economy, things of a general nature like that. I don't think she really knows about it.

[David]

Jen's gonna kill us.

[Ken]

And it just seems like it comes to the surface. I don't really think she cares.

[David]

I would agree with that.

[Ken]

Okay, you're not allowed to comment now. Easy, Caddy. Jen.

[David]

Meow.

[Ken]

The other part that, that I get that comes out is any discussions that have to do with race the show. And I'm not saying one individual. The show absolutely, positively cringes. Like, you can almost hear like, like icicles drop in your studio.

[Jeff]

Sure.

[Ken]

And.

[David]

And killing.

[Jeff]

Killing me. I know it's killing me not to.

[Ken]

Comment that and not. And I'm not saying Bert, I'm not saying Jen or Melissa or Jeff because, you know, Jeff's not real smart enough to comment on this. But in terms of those, those are the two things. But I will say this. I do love the show. I do listen quite often, and it's a lot of fun. And I think Melissa likes ladies because that's her preference and that's what she likes. And God bless her. Have a nice day.

[David]

God bless her for loving the ladies.

[Jeff]

Oh, it's so hard not to comment.

[Melissa]

It is so hard.

[Jeff]

It's impossible not to comment. Tiffany, we just lost her. Tiffany's comment was Melissa doesn't really like Jen is what she's hearing.

[David]

We're just throwing out the jabs at one Jen hobby today. I have a comment. I think the show would be better without Jen. I think, I don't think Jen should be alive.

[Jeff]

I don't think. Here's my comment. I don't think we should ever do these ever again. I don't like self discovery.

[Eddie]

Supposed to lighten the show.

[Jeff]

I don't like self discovery. I like living in my own little bubble.

[Eddie]

But we're too defensive of a show. The thing is like it's, I think it's a great idea because I am honestly curious about what people think. But you all cannot, especially the guys, can't not comment.

[Jeff]

See that comment, that comment right there, that shot at us guys is because.

[Eddie]

You'Re saying it in. The reason I say that is because Jen got, I mean Jen made a comment because I couldn't because it was a stick. Established that the per the subject of the, you know, comments could not talk. Everybody else could. So Jen did. And then you guys. And yes, your guys attacked Jen for saying something. But then you all have been talking the whole time.

[Jeff]

But no, see it was, oh, this is moronic.

[Eddie]

So that's what I'm saying is we can do that. But I think my comment work.

[Melissa]

I don't, I still don't.

[David]

You were blatantly defending Melissa like you were saying you were saying.

[Melissa]

But if you agree with the caller like Jeff did the whole time, you're allowed to make a comment. But if you disagree with the caller, you're not allowed to make a comment.

[David]

You can comment but you can't speak.

[Eddie]

So my thing is that I feel like that's a great idea but it just really just have to roll through the calls without saying a word.

[Jeff]

We're never doing these ever again. You know what, this is destructive.

[David]

Would it be better if we would the retell. What would it be? The response, the whatever. The more light hearted response to this. What if we came back from this and we all went around the room and we addressed what we think our own, the own biggest misconception is about ourselves. So it could be something that was just Addressed.

[Bert Weiss]

That'll be healthy.

[Eddie]

I'm more curious about what the callers think, honest, because I can't. I have no idea what misconception is.

[Melissa]

There's no one still lit up. So I think we could do another round of it. Like Melissa said, you guys just keep your mouth shut.

[Jeff]

I think my insight more than anything else is that people don't care. Us talking about ourselves.

[Ken]

Yes, they do.

[Show Announcer]

We're not.

[Melissa]

They're talking about us.

[Jeff]

I really don't. I don't think so.

[David]

They love it.

[Melissa]

You brought it up in the first place.

[Jeff]

You know what? And I want to take the whole thing back.

[David]

I just think it's stupid.

[Jeff]

Oh. Again, these things are never helpful.

[David]

I don't think it's fair that everybody got a call but you.

[Jeff]

Here, I got one.

[David]

Okay.

[Jeff]

This will make you guys feel bad about things.

[Eddie]

We cannot do anything without getting defensive.

[Jeff]

Go ahead, Sherry, you're on all the hits.

[Show Announcer]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

I just wanted to say that I love this show. Except for Burt. I mean, I just don't see why.

[Ken]

It's the Burt show.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

I don't get enough of Melissa. Don't get enough of Jen. And I think Jen is underappreciated. She brings light heartedness. She's fun and burnt. The man crushes the whining.

[Jeff]

See, now this really isn't reading between the lines, is it?

[Jennifer]

Sorry, I kind of was venting.

[Jeff]

Well, go on. If it's gonna make you feel better and we can move on, go ahead.

[Jennifer]

And then you kept me going for months with the whole Aaron thing. That was, you know, pretty bad. But it's a great show and I love it.

[Eddie]

That's what we should. Now that we have our vent bet this week, instead of having read between the lines, let's just have the vent line.

[Jeff]

Right?

[Eddie]

The Birch show vent line.

[Jeff]

And then we can see people that hate us or hate us individually or hate the show. Another constructive bit. Dumb idea. They are never doing these ever again.

[David]

They're genius. They're great.

[Jeff]

They're genius because somebody on the show gets hurt or everybody gets hurt. And you think that's great. Nobody.

[David]

Who's really hurt by that?

[Bert Weiss]

Who's gonna get hurt? Cause we all know as radio personalities that there are a lot of people who like us, obviously. And there's a lot of people who.

[Jeff]

Are gonna yell at you.

[Eddie]

People are frustrated right now because we are talking more than we allow the listeners to talk in this whole bit. That was for the listeners.

[Jeff]

Let's move on. This is just moronic. Can we move on. Let's move on.

[Bert Weiss]

You're the one in charge of the button.

[David]

I'm for round. Let's keep it going.

[Jeff]

All right. You guys really think we should do it again?

[Show Announcer]

Yeah.

[Caller]

No.

[Bert Weiss]

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[Eddie]

Think makes the perfect snack?

[Jen]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[Eddie]

Could you be more specific?

[Jen]

When it's cravinient.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Jen]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at am, pm. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. pM.

[Eddie]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Jen]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[Eddie]

Crave, which is anything from am, pm.

[Jen]

What more could you want? Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. Am, PM Too much. Good stuff.

[Jeff]

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[Bert Weiss]

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[Caller]

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[Jennifer]

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[Eddie]

Run out in the middle of the.

[Jennifer]

Night and purchase diapers. But the hospital is still charging as if they still have these items. We are digging into every topic we've ever wanted to cover on this show. It's a spinning plate analogy. The second that you stop spinning those plates, that crashes.

[Eddie]

So you can never stop working.

[Jennifer]

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[David]

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[Bert Weiss]

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