Vault: We Ranked The Most Socially Awkward Professions

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault Episode — "We Ranked The Most Socially Awkward Professions"
April 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this Vault episode, The Bert Show crew—Bert, Jen, Jessica, Melissa, and a few callers—dive into a conversation that is equal parts fun, relatable, and a bit tongue-in-cheek: which professions have the most socially awkward people? Starting from a personal observation about doctors, the hosts and listeners trade stories, stereotypes, and witty banter about jobs where social skills aren’t exactly a requirement—often with hilarious personal anecdotes and mock “scientific” analysis.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Stage: The Doctor Stereotype

• Initial Claim: The episode kicks off with the idea that doctors, because of years spent in intensive study and residency, might end up being notably awkward in social situations.

  • Bert: "I've always thought that doctors were a little bit more socially awkward because they miss a huge chunk of their social life...they aren't like, out. They're home studying..." (01:16)

• Pushback and Nuance: While some hosts agree, others note their experiences don't necessarily bear this out. Melissa, for example, finds her transplant doctors at Piedmont to be “pretty hilarious.”

  • Melissa: "Transplant doctors are not socially awkward, I can tell you." (03:34)

• The Office vs. The Bar: There’s a running theme: doctors are often personable in their workspace, but put them at a party, and it’s a different story.

  • Bert: "They're great inside the doctor's office, but put them in a bar or a nightclub...it's just a little bit different, I think." (03:45)

Expanding the List: Other Awkward Professions

• Classic Stereotypes:

  • Computer Techs & Engineers
    Tech professionals get the predictable nod for social awkwardness.
    • Jen: "The stereotypical one is like, computer tech." (02:06)
    • Jessica: "There's some level of engineers...where you get into a certain high level engineer." (04:29)
  • Writers & Librarians
    Introverted pursuits, sometimes “socially automated,” come into play.
    • Jen: "Professions where you're pretty much just one on one with non humans. So, like, a librarian, working with books or writing..." (04:47)
    • Bert, joking: "Writers always try to speak like they write..." (05:00)

• “Particle of Truth” Professions:
  More offbeat suggestions include coroners, morticians, accountants, auditors, and funeral home directors—often prompted by caller stories or group anecdotes.

  • Coroners/Morticians:
    • Katie (caller): "My best girlfriend's father-in-law is a coroner...and he is weird." (05:12)
    • Jen: "One bad coroner can brand an entire industry..." (05:28)
    • Jen: "I went out with two morticians, believe it or not." (08:45)
    • Jen (on morticians): "Both socially awkward, but both privately kind of nutty. Yeah, yeah, in a good way." (09:24)
  • Accountants & Auditors:
    • Brian (caller): “People in accounting, auditors, internal auditors, and funeral home directors.” (08:22)
    • Melissa: "Yeah. Not great with accountants." (08:38)

• Radio Personalities: A Meta Moment
  The cast gets self-deprecating, noting their own peers in radio can be as awkward off the air as some are on it.

  • Jen: "Radio guys, I gotta tell you, we were just at a convention. A lot of radio guys who don't..." (04:05)
  • Jessica: "They're awkward on the air and they're just as awkward off the air." (04:21)
  • Bert: "They hide behind their microphone." (04:25)

• Janitors and Teachers:
  Janitors, specifically school janitors, get a mention with tales of awkward school encounters. Shop teachers, too, are called out for their offbeat personalities.

  • Patrick (caller): “What about high school janitors? I always had the weird ones who just kind of stare at you.” (09:43)
  • Jen: “I think like, shop teachers are more awkward than janitors.” (10:13)

Underlying Theories: Why Are Some Jobs Awkward?

• Jobs that require intense study, are solitary, or involve working with “non-humans” (books, numbers, the deceased) breed certain personality types.
  • Melissa: "I think personality types are attracted to certain [jobs]." (04:39)
• The panel notes that firsthand experience often leads to broad (and unfair) generalizations. One bad experience colors the view of an entire profession.
  • Jen: "...it’s like a name. Like, if you date somebody and your experience with that name is so bad, then you'll never date another Mike ever again based on that one experience." (06:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I've always thought that doctors were a little bit more socially awkward because they miss a huge chunk of their social life..." — Bert (01:16)
• "Transplant doctors are not socially awkward, I can tell you." — Melissa (03:34)
• "Writers always try to speak like they write, too. And that doesn't really..." — Bert (05:00)
• "I went out with two morticians, believe it or not. Two in a lifetime." — Jen (08:45)
• "What about high school janitors? I always had the weird ones who just kind of stare at you." — Patrick, caller (09:43)
• "Shop teachers are more awkward than janitors." — Jen (10:13)
• "I used to work with at Taco Bell. That's where all the hot chicks hang out. Future morticians hanging out at Taco Bell." — Jen, on meeting morticians (09:07)

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Timestamps for Topic Highlights

• 01:16 – Bert introduces theory about doctors missing out on social life
• 03:45 – Contrasts between doctors in professional vs. social settings
• 04:05 – Discussion shifts to radio professionals' own social quirks
• 05:12 – Caller Katie tells her “weird coroner” story
• 06:04 – Patrick the caller shares about his socially awkward doctor brother
• 08:22 – Accountant/auditor/funeral director stereotypes from Brian
• 08:45 – Jen’s mortician dating stories
• 09:43 – Janitors and shop teacher discussion

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Final Thoughts & Tone

True to The Bert Show’s brand, the episode is warm, playful, and self-aware—embracing stereotypes for the sake of gentle humor, inviting listeners’ real-life experiences, and poking fun at themselves. The conversation cleverly illustrates how stereotypes and anecdotes go hand in hand, especially when pondering “awkward” professions, but always with a wink and a smile.

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Transcript

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[Bert]

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[Radio Announcer]

You're on the Burt Show.

[Jen]

Who came strong on this? In the meeting yesterday, I think Jen

[Jessica]

made the statement, but I agreed with her passionately because it's a. Even though it's not something you think about all the time, it's a very valid point.

[Jen]

Did you say it about doctors initially?

[Bert]

Yeah, it was initially about doctors. I'm trying to remember in what context it came up in the conversation, but I've always thought that doctors were a little bit more socially awkward because they miss a huge chunk of their social life because guess what, they're in school and residency and whatever it else for like 10 or 15 years. So they aren't like, out. They're home studying and, like, becoming amazing, incredible citizens of society. And like, you know, what they do is so specialized and so takes so much knowledge. I mean, I have a friend that went to graduate school for medicine. He's not a doctor, but just the extent of knowledge he had to

[Bretzky]

to

[Bert]

get through that graduate program. Like, I can't even imagine what a doctor would do. And so I think at the end of all of that, you're 12, 13 years later, and you don't really know how to be social, really.

[Jen]

I've never thought of that as far as doctors go, but, I mean, I think the stereotypical one is like, computer tech. Computer tech, yeah. That I could probably agree on, but outside of that, I'm not sure.

[Jessica]

Like, you've never. Because we have a few friends who are doctors, and I can think of socially challenged Doctors. Yeah, but I can think of.

[Bert]

And of course it doesn't mean all but a lot.

[Jessica]

I think if we were to make a list of the doctors that Jessica and I know. Well, I would say that it's a short list. Like only one or two of them that we have hung out with socially and had there not be a weird something. But the majority of them, they either don't laugh or they don't.

[Jen]

Maybe you're just not funny or they're

[Jessica]

a little too close to you, or they're a little stick around, linger a little too long. I just don't think.

[Jen]

Won't complete sentences.

[Patrick]

Right.

[Jessica]

And I don't think it's anything like negative against them. Like, I didn't think about the reason until Jen brought it up.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

About schooling.

[Jen]

But are there any others? I mean, those are the only two. And I'm not even totally on board

[Melissa]

on doctors because I haven't had the same experience with doctors.

[Jen]

But you guys were way more passionate about this yesterday.

[Bert]

I think doctors inside of an office building or inside the hospital. I mean, Melissa, you have to go once a week to see your doctors once a month.

[Melissa]

But I see them quite a bit.

[Bert]

Quite a bit. Right. So.

[Jessica]

Well, Melissa has to be careful how she participates in this conversation.

[Melissa]

Well, no, I mean in all serious. I've been in social. I mean, transplant doctors are not socially awkward, I can tell you. I mean, because the doctors I know at Piedmont are pretty hilarious.

[Bert]

And I think too, like the doctors that I have are great inside the doctor's office, but put them in a bar or a nightclub or whatever, and

[Melissa]

they just

[Jessica]

take them outside and take

[Bert]

them outside the doctor's office of the hospital. And it's just a little bit different, I think. Different experience. Yeah.

[Melissa]

Because my doctors are not. Don't fit that category.

[Jen]

I just haven't hung out a lot with doctors outside of hospital. So I wish I could contribute. I'm trying to think of other, as a general statements, professions that would be socially awkward. Radio guys, I gotta tell you, we were just at a convention.

[Jessica]

A lot of radio guys who don't.

[Jen]

They're awkward on the air and they're just as awkward off the air.

[Jessica]

Definitely.

[Bert]

See, they hide behind their microphone. Yes, true.

[Jessica]

I think there's some level of engineers and it's probably for the same reason where you get into a certain high level engineer. And I think.

[Melissa]

I think personality types are attracted to certain.

[Jessica]

Maybe that's it.

[Melissa]

And I think writers sometimes are socially automated.

[Jen]

Is it professions where you're pretty much just One on one with non humans. So if you're working on computers like a librarian, working with books or writing, you're just. It's you and the paper, right?

[Bert]

You know, writers always try to speak like they write, too. And that doesn't really.

[Jen]

It only works for John Mayer. Good morning. Katie, you're on camera. Hey, Katie.

[Bert]

Hey.

[Katie]

I was gonna say I have my best girlfriend.

[Bert]

Her father in law is a coroner

[Katie]

in a South Georgia town, and he is weird.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I get it.

[Jen]

But here's the thing, though.

[Bert]

Like, you know, with dead people, and when you talk back, they don't know.

[Jen]

Well, the problem here is that one bad coroner can brand an entire industry for her. Like, I mean, this guy's so socially awkward, she assumes every coroner is like that. Now.

[Bert]

True. That's funny. It's a body that's talking.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Hey. Stop. What are you doing? Stop. What are you. Don't cut me open.

[Jen]

Hey, Patrick. Good morning.

[Katie]

Good morning, guys.

[Melissa]

Hey.

[Patrick]

I have missed you guys. I've been out of town for seven months on the job, and coming back and listening to you every morning has been the highlight of my return.

[Jen]

Thank you, man.

[Jessica]

We're just talking about you, Patrick. How we've been missing you as well.

[Patrick]

My brother is a doctor, and he is a specialized. He's an allergist. So he had four years of medical school, three years of residency, and another three years of a fellowship, Right? Yes. My brother is, without a doubt one of the smartest guys I know. Married, seven kids.

[Bert]

Whoa.

[Patrick]

And yes, completely awkward around a large social setting. He tries to. You can tell that he's trying.

[Jessica]

Well, not only does he not have all that education, but ever since he got out of school, he won't get off his wife, so he's really not socializing at all.

[Patrick]

She can't keep his. Keep her hands off of him. It's not his fault.

[Jen]

Do you know another doctor, though, that is socially awkward? Because I think what I'm trying to say here, it's like a name. Like, if you date somebody and your experience with that name is so bad, then you'll never date another Mike ever again based on that one experience. Your brother is so socially awkward. And you're assuming every other doctor is socially awkward also?

[Patrick]

Well, yeah, because my. My children's pediatrician actually is a friend of my brother's. They went to medical school together, and we have gone over to his house for their children's birthday and vice versa, and he just. He sticks out like a sore thumb. I mean, just everybody you can tell

[Bert]

Think about that, Bert. Three years of medical school. What was it? Four years of medical school. And that's after four years of college, right?

[Patrick]

Correct.

[Bert]

So you have an undergraduate degree, and

[Jessica]

when you're in undergraduate.

[Bert]

Four years of medical school. Three years of a residency and three years of a fellowship added up.

[Jessica]

And when you're in undergraduate school, you know, you're going to medical school, so you're not going out.

[Melissa]

Well, I'm just trying to think, of the seven doctors I deal with on a consistent basis, only one is socially awkward. And I'm being as honest as I can be, saying, you know, like, it, you know, depends on who you know, but I. Yeah, I just don't.

[Jen]

Therapists. Yeah, therapists. Socially.

[Jessica]

I mean, not trying to worry you, Melissa, but I don't think you have good doctors. Because they clearly don't have.

[Melissa]

Because they have great personalities, Is that what you're saying?

[Jessica]

Exactly.

[Jen]

Don't ever go see them again.

[Melissa]

They're not serious enough about what they're doing because they actually laugh and tell jokes.

[Jessica]

Right. Like, I don't even think I would guess. One or two of them probably aren't even real doctors. Like, they're like, yeah, I know where the kidney goes. It's there. There. Something like that. It's the one that's smaller than the live.

[Jen]

Hey, Brian, you're on Q100.

[Radio Announcer]

What's up?

[Patrick]

Hey, good morning. I've got three of them. I just want to hear you guys, what you think about them. People in accounting, auditors, internal auditors, and funeral home directors.

[Melissa]

I agree with the counter, and he's gone.

[Jen]

I said what I needed to say. I'm gone.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Not great with accountants.

[Jessica]

I think Brian was socially awkward. The guy who just called us guys

[Bert]

named Brian, he's an accountant.

[Jen]

I went out with two morticians, believe it or not, two in. Yeah, you'd think that you only get one of those in a lifetime, right? I got two.

[Jessica]

What's mortician?

[Jen]

Those are people that work on dead people.

[Jessica]

Same as in the corner.

[Jen]

Do the makeup. Yeah, do the makeup and all that stuff.

[Jessica]

Oh, ew.

[Melissa]

They paint the ones in hospital ones after you leave the hospital and go to the home.

[Jessica]

Dude, how do you find morticians?

[Jen]

They both. One I went to high school with and then stayed in touch with at college. And the other one, this is not gonna surprise you. I used to work with at Taco Bell. That's where all the hot chicks hang out. So she was future morticians hanging out at Taco Bell.

[Jessica]

So while she was going to mortician school. She was stuffing burritos.

[Jen]

Yeah, she's doing both. Both socially awkward, but both privately kind of nutty. Yeah, yeah, in a good way.

[Jessica]

By doing weird things to the dead people.

[Melissa]

Oh, come on. Don't be nice.

[Jen]

Hey, Mike. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Patrick]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[Jen]

Hello.

[Patrick]

Hey, I was thinking, what about high school janitors? I always had the weird ones who

[Katie]

just kind of stare at you.

[Jen]

That one's gonna be tough to debate right there. I think that's pretty stereotypical.

[Jessica]

I don't know why I was thinking about that the other day, But I remember Mr. Hoover, who is, you know, our middle school janitor, which means he was always in the boiler room. What is a boiler?

[Jen]

I know what a boiler is, but you don't want to know what he was doing down there.

[Jessica]

Well, yeah, I know what he was doing. He was filling the five gallon bucket up with sawdust, waiting for the next person to puke,

[Radio Announcer]

bro.

[Jessica]

That's what he.

[Jen]

On the overall scale though, I think like, shop teachers are more awkward than janitors.

[Jessica]

Shop teachers are awkward.

[Bert]

I had to take a shot. Anybody directors science teachers.

[Jessica]

You know what the deal is with a shop teacher? They went on to aspire to be like a mechanic or have their own furniture shop. And they've just been, you know, they have to resign themselves to the fact that they're teaching a bunch of yahoos how to use a, you know, bench saw.

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