The Bert Show: Vault Episode — "We Ranked The Most Socially Awkward Professions"
April 14, 2026
Episode Overview
In this Vault episode, The Bert Show crew—Bert, Jen, Jessica, Melissa, and a few callers—dive into a conversation that is equal parts fun, relatable, and a bit tongue-in-cheek: which professions have the most socially awkward people? Starting from a personal observation about doctors, the hosts and listeners trade stories, stereotypes, and witty banter about jobs where social skills aren’t exactly a requirement—often with hilarious personal anecdotes and mock “scientific” analysis.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Setting the Stage: The Doctor Stereotype
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Initial Claim: The episode kicks off with the idea that doctors, because of years spent in intensive study and residency, might end up being notably awkward in social situations.
- Bert: "I've always thought that doctors were a little bit more socially awkward because they miss a huge chunk of their social life...they aren't like, out. They're home studying..." (01:16)
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Pushback and Nuance: While some hosts agree, others note their experiences don't necessarily bear this out. Melissa, for example, finds her transplant doctors at Piedmont to be “pretty hilarious.”
- Melissa: "Transplant doctors are not socially awkward, I can tell you." (03:34)
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The Office vs. The Bar: There’s a running theme: doctors are often personable in their workspace, but put them at a party, and it’s a different story.
- Bert: "They're great inside the doctor's office, but put them in a bar or a nightclub...it's just a little bit different, I think." (03:45)
Expanding the List: Other Awkward Professions
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Classic Stereotypes:
- Computer Techs & Engineers
Tech professionals get the predictable nod for social awkwardness.
- Jen: "The stereotypical one is like, computer tech." (02:06)
- Jessica: "There's some level of engineers...where you get into a certain high level engineer." (04:29)
- Writers & Librarians
Introverted pursuits, sometimes “socially automated,” come into play.
- Jen: "Professions where you're pretty much just one on one with non humans. So, like, a librarian, working with books or writing..." (04:47)
- Bert, joking: "Writers always try to speak like they write..." (05:00)
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“Particle of Truth” Professions:
More offbeat suggestions include coroners, morticians, accountants, auditors, and funeral home directors—often prompted by caller stories or group anecdotes.
- Coroners/Morticians:
- Katie (caller): "My best girlfriend's father-in-law is a coroner...and he is weird." (05:12)
- Jen: "One bad coroner can brand an entire industry..." (05:28)
- Jen: "I went out with two morticians, believe it or not." (08:45)
- Jen (on morticians): "Both socially awkward, but both privately kind of nutty. Yeah, yeah, in a good way." (09:24)
- Accountants & Auditors:
- Brian (caller): “People in accounting, auditors, internal auditors, and funeral home directors.” (08:22)
- Melissa: "Yeah. Not great with accountants." (08:38)
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Radio Personalities: A Meta Moment
The cast gets self-deprecating, noting their own peers in radio can be as awkward off the air as some are on it.
- Jen: "Radio guys, I gotta tell you, we were just at a convention. A lot of radio guys who don't..." (04:05)
- Jessica: "They're awkward on the air and they're just as awkward off the air." (04:21)
- Bert: "They hide behind their microphone." (04:25)
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Janitors and Teachers:
Janitors, specifically school janitors, get a mention with tales of awkward school encounters. Shop teachers, too, are called out for their offbeat personalities.
- Patrick (caller): “What about high school janitors? I always had the weird ones who just kind of stare at you.” (09:43)
- Jen: “I think like, shop teachers are more awkward than janitors.” (10:13)
Underlying Theories: Why Are Some Jobs Awkward?
- Jobs that require intense study, are solitary, or involve working with “non-humans” (books, numbers, the deceased) breed certain personality types.
- Melissa: "I think personality types are attracted to certain [jobs]." (04:39)
- The panel notes that firsthand experience often leads to broad (and unfair) generalizations. One bad experience colors the view of an entire profession.
- Jen: "...it’s like a name. Like, if you date somebody and your experience with that name is so bad, then you'll never date another Mike ever again based on that one experience." (06:39)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- "I've always thought that doctors were a little bit more socially awkward because they miss a huge chunk of their social life..." — Bert (01:16)
- "Transplant doctors are not socially awkward, I can tell you." — Melissa (03:34)
- "Writers always try to speak like they write, too. And that doesn't really..." — Bert (05:00)
- "I went out with two morticians, believe it or not. Two in a lifetime." — Jen (08:45)
- "What about high school janitors? I always had the weird ones who just kind of stare at you." — Patrick, caller (09:43)
- "Shop teachers are more awkward than janitors." — Jen (10:13)
- "I used to work with at Taco Bell. That's where all the hot chicks hang out. Future morticians hanging out at Taco Bell." — Jen, on meeting morticians (09:07)
Timestamps for Topic Highlights
- 01:16 – Bert introduces theory about doctors missing out on social life
- 03:45 – Contrasts between doctors in professional vs. social settings
- 04:05 – Discussion shifts to radio professionals' own social quirks
- 05:12 – Caller Katie tells her “weird coroner” story
- 06:04 – Patrick the caller shares about his socially awkward doctor brother
- 08:22 – Accountant/auditor/funeral director stereotypes from Brian
- 08:45 – Jen’s mortician dating stories
- 09:43 – Janitors and shop teacher discussion
Final Thoughts & Tone
True to The Bert Show’s brand, the episode is warm, playful, and self-aware—embracing stereotypes for the sake of gentle humor, inviting listeners’ real-life experiences, and poking fun at themselves. The conversation cleverly illustrates how stereotypes and anecdotes go hand in hand, especially when pondering “awkward” professions, but always with a wink and a smile.